Final Day

by Megan Erickson

  Tarr wanted to call out Erick’s name, to tell him that he was sorry for being a bastard. To beg Erick to accept him for who he was. But instead he stood silent, because he’d never been this scared. He wanted to tell Erick he could be better but the problem was that he didn’t think he could be better. This was who he was. Wasn’t it?

  Finally Erick turned around, and his expression wasn’t happy and eager. Not jovial. He wasn’t letting quips and jokes and sarcastic comments fall from this lips.

  “Do you know who Flynn was?” Erick’s voice shook.

  Tarr didn’t speak because he didn’t trust his voice.

  “Flynn was Roarke’s brother.” Erick’s lip quivered and he bit it before tugging on his hair. “And he was my boyfriend.”

  Tarr had gathered that much.

  Erick took a step closer. “I know I’m thirty, but I hadn’t had experience. With anyone. Everything with him was my first. Brand-new. And it was exciting and he took care with me. He loved me. And I loved him. We kept it a secret, but we were going to tell everyone. Real soon.”

  Tarr’s heart pounded as he realized the gravity of Erick’s inexperience. God, he was so fucking pure. Tarr was used to bar twinks. He clenched his fists at his sides, feeling like he had no right to touch Erick.

  “But then he blew the whistle on his criminal boss. And his boss killed him for it.” Erick’s voice wasn’t shaking with tears anymore. He was angry now. “Do you know who killed him?” Erick asked. “Who actually pulled the trigger?”

  Tarr shook his head, but in his heart, he knew, with a yawning black hole in the pit of his stomach.

  “Hit men.” Erick spat the term like it was dirt. And it was dirt. Tarr was dirt. “You didn’t pull the trigger. I know who did, and they’re dead now. But would you have? For the right price, would you have shot my boyfriend in the head?”

  Tarr wished he could say no. He only took jobs from certain people, but those people were not good.

  So he could only meet Erick’s gaze squarely and tell the honest truth, because Erick deserved that. He nodded. And he watched the pain leach into Erick’s eyes like poison.

  Erick swallowed. “Fuck you.” His eyes glistened. “I thought…I don’t know what I thought. Maybe it was the alcohol. I’m attracted to you, and I hate that I am, do you get that?” He jabbed his thumb into his chest. “I hate that about myself.”

  Tarr thought he’d die right there. His heart wasn’t protected now. He’d opened the cage, the last barrier of protection he’d had, and Erick was punching holes into the soft organ.

  “I look at you, and I can’t separate it from what you do. I tried. I didn’t want to be indebted to a hit man for saving my life. I let this go too far but…I can’t. I can’t. Because even though you didn’t kill Flynn, you would have. And I can’t deal with that.” His eyes dropped to the ground like he couldn’t bear to look at Tarr.

  Finally he looked up again, and Tarr spotted a tear track on Erick’s face. God, he was so good. This hurt Tarr too. It didn’t console him, but he couldn’t hate Erick. He was too fucking sad to be angry.

  “I’m sorry,” Erick whispered, and he walked out of the room.

  Tarr stood there for a long time, looking into the shadows. He didn’t go after Erick. He didn’t try to plead his case or tell Erick that he’d change. He wasn’t even sure he could change. He wasn’t meant for a happy ending. He was meant to exist for as long as he could, only because he was too stubborn to die.

  Now he had another mission. Stay alive to make sure Erick got his happy ending even if it wouldn’t be with Tarr. The guy was meant to be loved and cared for. He was meant to find someone who could give him that back. So Tarr would make sure he stayed alive to do just that. Even if it broke his own heart and killed him to do so. It’d be an honorable death for a dishonorable man.

  Chapter Eight

  Erick

  Erick stood on the steps of Trig’s mansion, eyes on the SUV as Tarr paced near it, giving directions to Trig’s men on how to stack the equipment. Erick blinked into the morning sun and sighed. He hadn’t slept. Or eaten. He chugged most of this morning’s coffee and was paying for it now with shaky hands.

  Behind him, he heard footsteps on the stairs, and then Trig stopped next to him, large sunglasses over his eyes, silk kimono tied loosely around his waist. Last night, after Erick left Tarr, he’d gone to Trig. He’d told Trig everything about what happened with Flynn, and Trig had consoled him. After Trig fell asleep, Erick spent the rest of the night staring at the ceiling.

  Trig bumped his arm. “How you doing, sweetie?”

  Erick downed the last of his coffee from his mug. “Not great.”

  “By the way, what did you do before you came to me last night?”

  He glanced at his friend. “What do you mean, what did I do?”

  “I mean—” Trig ducked his head and eyed him over the top of his sunglasses “—did you wallow or did you hook up with someone?”

  Erick’s pulse quickened. Everything about last night had been a mistake. The kiss. The blow job. The words he’d said to Tarr.

  He fought against throwing up when he remembered the look on Tarr’s face. Even in the darkened room, with only a sliver of light cutting across his eyes, Tarr had been wounded by what Erick had said. He hadn’t turned into an asshole or hurled insults back at Erick. He also hadn’t fought for Erick to stay. Either of those would have been preferable to his silence.

  Or maybe Erick had read him wrong. Maybe Tarr had been happy to get sucked off with no strings attached. Erick’s stomach churned. He was going to vomit this coffee all over Trig’s marble stairs.

  “Erick?” Trig whispered, slipping his hand into Erick’s and tugging to get his attention. “You okay?”

  Erick looked down at Trig. “No, I’m not okay.”

  Trig shoved his sunglasses up into his hair. “Do you need something?”

  “You’ve done enough.”

  “Is this about—?” Trig stopped himself and then slowly let his gaze drift toward the SUV. He squinted his eyes at something, and Erick looked too.

  Tarr was staring at them. His sunglasses were over his eyes, but the direction of his gaze was unmistakable. With his mouth set in a thin line, he crossed his arms over his chest.

  Trig made a small noise in his throat and let go of Erick’s hand. After a beat, Tarr looked away.

  “I see,” Trig said quietly.

  “There’s nothing to see,” Erick insisted.

  Trig smiled at him, a bit sadly. “I see how close quarters can breed affection. I see that you two already have bickering down. And I can certainly see that Mr. Broody Ginger over there does not like another man touching you.”

  “Oh for fuck’s sake—”

  “I know what he is. One of my bodyguards knows him. And I also know what happened with Flynn because you told me. I’m putting two and two together, and I’m assuming Erick Lee has a bit of an ethical dilemma, yes?”

  Trig was annoying when he guessed right. Erick didn’t answer the question because there was no point. He turned to Trig and leaned closer so he could lower his voice. He explained what happened in the library last night. Trig’s eyes were huge when Erick was finished.

  “What would Flynn think, huh?” Erick asked. “I feel like I’m betraying him.”

  Trig’s expression hardened in an instant. “It doesn’t matter what Flynn thinks. And you’re not betraying him because, sweetie, that man didn’t pull the trigger.”

  “He could have,” Erick said. “And I can’t stop thinking about that.”

  “Is that really the reason you’re trying to talk yourself out of this?”

  “I’m not trying to—”

  “That’s a weak reason to reject that man. Reject him because he’s an asshole, or because he has no heart.”

  Erick squinted in thought. “He is sort of an asshole, and the heart thing is debatable.”

  “Have you given him a chance to prove himself to you in any
way? Something happened overnight. I can see it in the way he looks at you and in the sad-puppy way you’re staring at him.”

  “You don’t understand.”

  “No, I don’t, because you’re being your own roadblock. He could be a man who’d change for you. You don’t know. And you’re not giving him a chance.”

  “This is stupid.”

  “Fine, be stubborn. Continue carrying out the mission in tense silence. Up to you. But I’m your friend so I’m going to be blunt. Flynn is dead. I’m sorry, but he is.”

  Erick looked away and focused on Tarr, who stood tall next to the SUV as Trig’s men loaded in the last of the equipment. He tried to picture Flynn’s face, his smile, but the image kept clouding over. Blue eyes and ginger hair swirled in its place.

  Trig wasn’t finished. “I’ve lost people I’ve loved too. I know it’s hard to move on. But you deserve happiness.”

  “Flynn would want that,” Erick whispered, his throat clogging.

  “He would,” Trig said softly. “But he’s not here. So it doesn’t matter what he wants or what he thinks. It matters what you want. You have to live with yourself and your choices now. Your choices no longer affect Flynn. Understand?”

  Tarr turned around and met Erick’s gaze. He gave him a short jerk of a nod and then opened the driver’s door and stepped inside.

  “I guess that’s my cue to leave,” Erick said softly. He turned to face Trig, who’s expression was grim. Erick smiled. “Thank you. I’ll think about what you said.”

  “I just want the best for you and for you to be happy. Also, if that man does hurt you, let me know, and I’ll kill him.”

  Erick laughed. “Get in line. I can hold my own.” He pulled Trig into a hug, and five seconds later, a horn sounded from inside the SUV.

  “Damn, someone’s impatient,” Trig muttered. “Have fun in the car with Mr. Morning Sunshine.”

  “I’m not much better this morning.”

  “Drive safe. Call me if you need anything else.” Trig gave him a sassy salute. “You be good, Erick Lee.”

  Erick waved and jogged toward the car. He climbed inside to see Tarr staring out the window at Trig. Eventually, he turned to Erick. Large, mirrored aviators covered his eyes so Erick couldn’t see them. “Next stop is my sister’s. I don’t care if your bladder bursts.”

  He put the car in reverse and roared down the driveway. Erick closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

  * * *

  Erick jerked awake to find them driving through a scenic neighborhood. He hadn’t meant to sleep that long, but the lack the night before must have caught up to him. He straightened in his chair.

  “Hey Sleeping Beauty,” Tarr murmured. The man looked perfectly fine, like he could easily drive another twelve hours.

  “You could have woken me up if you needed me to drive.” Erick rubbed his eyes.

  “I was fine. Car was nice and peaceful.” Tarr didn’t say it in a mean way, like that was a jab at Erick’s talkativeness.

  Tarr turned down a street and slowed the car until they came to a stop in front of a small blue and white two-story Colonial. Almost immediately, a woman appeared on the doorstep with a round belly, hand over her eyes, while another child tried to peek between her legs. She didn’t look pleased.

  “Does she know we’re coming?”

  “No.” Tarr got out of the car.

  “What?” Erick yelped as Tarr slammed the door. Erick growled to himself. “Jesus Christ, this should be fun.” He stepped out and followed Tarr to the front door. The woman, who already looked startled to see Tarr, swung her gaze to Erick and visibly jerked. Yikes, did he look that rough? He ran his hand through his hair and attempted a smile, his charming one. She didn’t look any less alarmed.

  Another kid, a bigger one, slipped past his mom and ran down the front steps. “Uncle Rett!” he hollered.

  Tarr crouched and caught the kid midleap, bringing him to his chest and smacking a kiss on his cheek. Erick’s heart pounded in his ears. Tarr’s face was…human. His smile was huge and white, deep creases cutting into his cheeks that Erick hadn’t even known were there. This was a man who wasn’t an asshole…who had a heart.

  Erick couldn’t think of that now. Tarr turned to him, an expression still on his face that was melting Erick into a puddle. “This is Cooper. He’s nine.”

  “Heya Coop,” Erick said with a wave and a grin.

  “Heya!” The kid beamed and turned to his uncle. “How long are you staying? Dad’s gone. Can you play catch with me? Can you take Olivia and me to the water park?”

  Tarr, still holding Cooper, stopped at the front door. Erick tried to hide behind him but wasn’t very successful. His sister, Everly, still did not look pleased but Erick could tell she didn’t want to make a scene in front of her kids. She was a pretty woman, tall with long, dark red hair. Freckles dotted her nose. She and Tarr didn’t look much alike other than their height and hair.

  “Hello, Everett. Nice of you to visit.” She placed a hand on the strawberry-blond head of her daughter. “A call in advance would have been nice, but I know that’s a lot to ask. Who’s your friend?”

  She talked just like Tarr—not the tone of her voice but her inflections. It was uncanny to hear Tarr’s voice in a different octave.

  “Hi, I’m Erick,” he extended his hand, which she eyed before shaking it. Her grip was firm.

  “I’m Everly,” she said. “I guess you know that?”

  Erick cleared his throat. Her gaze was steady and made him squirm, like he was a bad kid. “Yes, I do.”

  Cooper was watching all this with a little bit of apprehension. Everly noticed and smiled at him. “Honey, why don’t you go and make up the guest bedroom for your uncle and his friend, okay? Air mattress is in the hall closet.” She raised an eyebrow at Tarr. “I’m assuming you’re staying?”

  Tarr set Cooper down. “We are. Hey there, Princess.”

  The little girl grinned and said in a little voice, “Hi, Uncle Rett.”

  “Go on,” Everly said to her son and daughter.

  As the sounds of their footsteps ascended the stairs, she stepped aside for Tarr and Erick to walk inside. Erick followed Tarr into the kitchen, where Tarr motioned for him to sit on a stool along the breakfast bar. Erick did and then decided he would keep his mouth shut unless spoken to. This was family stuff.

  Tarr sat next to him, and Everly walked in. She wore a tight T-shirt that stretched over her belly, a long, flowy skirt, and bare feet. “You guys hungry?” She didn’t look at her brother.

  “We could eat,” Tarr said. Erick just nodded as his stomach growled.

  “I have some leftover pizza from last night I can heat up.”

  “That’s fine. Don’t go to any trouble, Ev.”

  She paused and looked at him. “I didn’t plan to, Rett.”

  Rett. Erick liked it. And he also wondered where this animosity came from. Maybe her life had been in danger before because of what Tarr did. His appearance in her house after that probably wouldn’t be so welcome.

  She placed the pizza slices into the oven and then finally faced them, leaning back onto the counter. “So?”

  “Good to see you. You look good,” Tarr said.

  She sighed, like the compliment hurt her. “Thank you. You look good too. I’m sorry that I don’t leap for joy like Cooper, but I’m wary when you show up unannounced. Do I have a reason to be wary?”

  Tarr swallowed but kept his eyes on her. “Yes.”

  She blinked rapidly and looked away. Her jaw worked, and she placed her hand on her swollen belly. “And why?”

  “I have some men after me. They are trying to find out if I have family. I don’t suspect they will find you, but if they do, I’m here. And so is Erick. He’s a security specialist who will make sure the house and the kids are protected.”

  She didn’t move for a full fifteen seconds, Erick counted. With a frustrated cry, she grabbed an oven mitt and whipped it at Tarr’s head. He didn’t ev
en duck. He let it hit him in the face.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” she whisper-shouted, eyes shining. “I changed everything because of you once. Are you telling me I have to do it again? Is there WitSec for a sister of a hit man?”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice sounding defeated. “If I knew…if I knew any of this would have happened, I would have never…” His voice trailed off.

  Something changed in Everly’s face, a bit of sympathy creeping in. Erick wasn’t sure what they were talking about, but he was pretty sure he was missing something.

  “Jesus, Rett,” she groaned, hand on her forehead. “Thank God my husband isn’t here.”

  “That’s a plus side,” Tarr muttered.

  “How long do you have to stay? How serious is this threat?”

  “Serious. And we’ll stay until we neutralize them.”

  “Neutralize,” she repeated in a dead voice.

  “We have some guys helping us out,” Tarr explained, and then jerked his thumb to Erick. “He’s one of them.”

  She seemed to remember Erick was even there. She shook herself and then grabbed another oven mitt and pulled the pizza from the oven. After arranging a couple of pieces on two plates, she slid the food in front of them. “Drink? Beer?”

  “I’ll take water,” Tarr said.

  “Water is fine. Thanks, Mrs.…” Erick floundered.

  She gave him a small smile. “‘Everly’ is fine. And I’m sorry for not being more welcoming.”

  “It’s understandable. No need to apologize. Appreciate the food,” he said.

  He felt eyes on him and glanced up. Tarr was watching him with an unreadable expression. Was that affection? Then Everly placed water glasses in front of them, and the moment was over.

  A few minutes later, Tarr excused himself to go to the bathroom. Everly picked up their empty plates. “So, how do you know Rett?”

  How much did Everly know about her brother? Erick assumed a lot. “Well, it’s complicated.”