After work I’d made plans to go out dancing with Aubrey and Bobbi. About six months ago Aubrey had demanded we stop acting like old ladies and get out more. I’d been skeptical at first. Girls night usually meant sipping wine, dance clubs or concerts where cheap beer coated the floor and getting drugs was as easy as knowing which guy to grind against on the dance floor. But Bobbi knew all the good spots. I had no doubt that she and Aubrey had spent a lot of energy on researching places they thought I’d be comfortable. That was just the type of friends they were.
Tonight, we were at a small restaurant on the beach that had a DJ after ten o’clock. No one except us was dancing, but that didn’t bother us. We danced through several songs, singing the lyrics at an obnoxious level, and generally having a fabulous time. When Bobbi broke our circle to go to the bathroom, Aubrey and I took a seat at our abandoned table for a breather.
“How are things at home?” The lift of her eyebrow made what she was really asking crystal clear, but I played dumb.
“Good. Richard is coming in next weekend.”
“Oh no you don’t,” Aubrey insisted. “No changing the subject. How are you doing with Finn freaking McCash sleeping under the same roof?”
“It’s really not that big of a deal. We’re almost never there at the same time. I work all day and he goes out at night.”
“What’s Richard say about it?”
“He doesn’t love the idea, but it helps that you and Chance let him stay with you. He trusts your guys’ judgment.”
“More than he trusts yours?”
“No, it’s just…” But I couldn’t finish that statement. I wondered if my past made Richard question my judgment in ways he might not if I’d had a less rocky history.
“Are we grilling her about Finn now?” Bobbi asked when she returned. I’d dodged her questions all week. The truth was, it felt like a betrayal to talk about Finn. I knew from the girls that he’d gone silent on social media and hadn’t made any media statements. In his absence, they’d turned to showcasing his ex-fiancée and her new boyfriend on what should have been her and Finn’s honeymoon.
Aubrey nodded. “How is he? Does he still seem sad?”
“I don’t know. I think so, but I don’t really know what he was like before, so it’s sort of hard to compare.”
“Well, from what Chance has told me, Finn was the life of the party. He dated Cindy forever, so I don’t think he was much of a playboy, but he’s definitely used to being out and in the public’s eye. Oh, and apparently he once streaked across the soccer field after a big game.”
“He got fined pretty good for that,” Bobbi added. We’re quiet for a few moments and then Bobbi’s voice was soft when she asked, “I wonder what happened between him and Cindy.”
They both looked at me.
“I have no idea. He hasn’t mentioned her at all and I’m definitely not asking.”
“They were together for three years. That’s a long time to just walk away on your wedding day with another guy.” Bobbi continued with a dreamy look in her eyes, “They looked so good together. So happy. It’s hard to believe it wasn’t real.”
“I’m sure he’ll have no problem finding another beautiful woman to take her place when he’s ready,” I added, and Aubrey studied me with a curious expression on her face. “What?”
“You’re defensive of him.”
“I know what it’s like to hit rock bottom. He just needs some time and privacy.” I shot Bobbi a knowing glare as I said the last part.
She grabbed her phone and shook her head as she tapped the screen. “Tell me that they aren’t perfect together? I think she’s going to have a change of heart and come back to him. Maybe you’ll get to witness their reunion.” Her eyes went wide, but once I looked down at her phone, the air was knocked out of me.
Finn looked as handsome as ever on the beach, shirtless – his amazing chest on display. But it was the way he was looking at the woman next to him that made my whole body feel like it was on fire. The woman that I now recognized as his ex-fiancée.
She was beautiful. Of course, she was. Long strawberry blonde hair, a body that was too perfect to be real, full lips and a confidence that gave her that extra edge. What would it be like to have someone look at you the way he looked at her? I was certain no one had ever looked at me like that and I worried no one ever would. I was attractive and I was in decent shape, but no one had ever compared me to a baby giraffe with big lips and perfect hair like Bobbi was going on and on about while she flipped through more pictures of Finn and his ex.
Or, maybe it wasn’t anything that shallow. Maybe he was just that crazy in love with her. I’d given up on wild, crazy love with the rest of my past.
Richard was a good man. Loyal and reliable and he respected me. Wasn’t it proof that that kind of love couldn’t exist just by the fact Finn was sleeping in my spare bedroom and his ex was on the beach with someone else? Maybe wild and crazy love wasn’t love at all, but some IG preset to cast the illusion of love and happiness to attract more followers.
Aubrey’s phone vibrated on the table. “I should get home.”
“Is that hottie husband of yours texting you to get your fine ass home?” Bobbi asked.
Aubrey blushed and I pretended to be disgusted, but I really was happy that my brother was so happy.
We stood to leave. “I’m going to the ladies’ room before I go.”
“Want me to wait?” Aubrey asked.
“No, it’s fine.” I hugged her and then Bobbi.
I weaved through the tables to get to the bathroom. It was just past the bar and the sound of glasses clinking and laughter made me smile. Before things had gotten out of control, I had fond memories of sitting at the bar with friends and drinking late into the night. Before booze turned to drugs and flirting with cute guys had me paired up with the wrong one. At a distance, it was a nice memory.
I let my gaze flit over the patrons at the bar – their happy smiles, the way they turned toward one another to talk. I was almost to the hallway where the bar would disappear from view when I spotted him. If I hadn’t seen him in the exact same hat the night before I wouldn’t have recognized him. It covered that thick, full head of hair, and his mouth, hidden by the beginnings of a beard, was pulled into a tight line that made him look older.
Still, he was gorgeous. The other patrons might not have realized who he was, but there was no denying the way the air around him seemed more charged.
A woman approached and I stood frozen in place watching her with fascination and a hint of anger that she’d invaded his solitude. She said something to get his attention and he turned to face her. The hard look on his face didn’t seem to faze her, but it made my breath catch. She closed the remaining space between them, and he spoke, words I couldn’t decipher from his profile alone. But the brush of his lips along the nape of her neck was unmistakable and I felt it all the way across the room.
Adele
Saturday mornings were lazy. It was the one day I allowed myself to sleep in. Eight a.m. wasn’t exactly sloth hour, but it was as long as my body could be still.
When I’d returned home from the restaurant, I’d gone to bed and turned the TV on in my room so I wouldn’t be tempted to listen for him coming in. And though I’d started to sleep with my bedroom door cracked to let kitty in if she wanted, I’d closed and locked the door last night. Even still, I was restless and slept awful.
After a quick shower, I made my bed and crept out to the living room. Finn was already awake, much to my surprise, sitting on the couch with kitty.
“Good morning,” I said as I walked to the kitchen.
“’Morning,” he returned, only looking up from his phone for a second.
In the kitchen I reached for my gratitude journal without thinking. It was always the first thing I did when I emerged from my room. I’d forgotten about yesterday’s list of possible kitten names and an unexpected thrill shot through me that he’d read them. Not just read them b
ut considered them. I knew this because he’d crossed out all but one: Striker and beside it he’d written, I’m a winger not a striker. Winger is a shit name for a cat.
I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from laughing. I quickly jotted down my ten pieces of gratitude and then added a few more name options for kitty.
“I’m headed to Chance and Aubrey’s if you’d like to come along?”
I could tell he wanted to say no. Moping in my house – glued to his phone probably scrolling through the same photos of his ex and teammate that I’d got an eye full of last night – or making plans with randoms from the bar weren’t going to magically fix his broken heart.
“Come on. Chance will be glad to have another guy to talk sports with.”
He nodded slowly. “Yeah, alright.”
Arriving at my brother’s house with a guy that wasn’t Richard felt awkward. Finn must not have felt it because he pasted a big smile on his face as Chance spotted him and pulled him out back to sit and talk.
Aubrey and I usually followed but today we lingered in the kitchen for a few moments.
“He looks good despite the beard,” she said, peeking out the window to the back. “How’s he seem today?”
“Fine.”
She was quiet until I met her gaze.
“I told you, I don’t really know him. Maybe hot and broody are his defining character traits.”
“Oh my God. You finally admitted he was hot.”
I blushed. It was a fact really, not an opinion, but it still felt like a betrayal to Richard to say it out loud. “You know what I mean.”
“Hey,” she said softly. “It’s okay to admit another guy is good looking. You think Chance and Richard go through their days never noticing the gorgeous women they pass?”
Sometimes I did think that. At least about Richard. He never really mentioned beautiful people even in an abstract way like noting Kate Beckinsale somehow got hotter with age or staring a little too long at an attractive waitress. I couldn’t even remember if he’d ever called me beautiful. He praised my qualities like being caring and considerate and he often told me how much he loved how hard I worked at my job. Those were the things that were important to him – not looks. Why did that suddenly annoy me? It’s not like I wanted to be with someone who only cared about the outside either.
“I know you’re right, but I just don’t see him like that.”
She was scrutinizing me in that way she did, slipping back into her former days as a lawyer, so I grabbed my mug. “Come on, let’s go outside and enjoy the sunshine.”
The four of us sat at the outdoor table while CJ and Pixy ran around the yard. Aubrey sat next to Chance and they leaned into one another. I don’t think they even did it intentionally – it was just how they were together. Always wanting to be closer, drawn together like magnets.
“So, Richard’s coming next weekend?” Chance asked, placing his hand over Aubrey’s on the table.
“Actually, he’s coming in tonight. There is some big meeting in the California office on Monday and he’s gunning to be the point man.” I left out that I was ninety-nine percent sure Richard’s sudden visit had something to do with the man staying at my house. He could finally see for himself that I was perfectly safe.
“You guys should come over for dinner then,” Aubrey said and looked to the odd man out. “Finn, you should come too.”
I looked to him to gauge his reaction to a night in with two couples. It looked pained, as I expected.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ve got plans.”
“Hot date?” Chance asked.
“Eh,” Finn started and then ran a hand over his scruffy jaw.
Chance laughed. “Good for you, mate.”
On the walk back to my place, Finn made small talk. “The boyfriend lives in New York?”
“Yeah. He got transferred to start a new office, so he travels back and forth. Though most of his time is spent there right now since he works such long hours. He’s indispensable. Been at the company since it started.”
Finn nodded; hands shoved in the front of his jean’s pockets. “Does he know I’m staying at your place?”
“Of course,” I said maybe a little too pointedly.
“And he’s cool with it?” He slowed and waited for my answer. We were only a few steps from my house, but it seemed like the answer was important before he walked inside again. Was Richard cool with it? I hadn’t really given him any other option, had I?
I went with, “He trusts me.”
I moved past him and he followed me inside and past the maze of boxes. Kitty was hiding behind the last one and jumped out at me making me scream and stumble.
Finn was beside me in a split second. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
His hand wrapped around my elbow in a protective hold. I glanced at the place where we were connected and up into his concerned blue eyes before I answered breathlessly, “Your cat scared me.”
I leaned down, breaking his grasp, or maybe he let go, and picked up kitty. I petted her head and I swore the little thing smiled happily at me like she’d been playing a practical joke.
“That tiny little thing scared you?” His concern had turned to amusement.
“What are all these boxes?” I changed the subject, turning the tables on him and wondering why I was suddenly so frustrated and annoyed by them. They were just boxes and somewhere deep, deep down I knew I was being irrational but couldn’t stop it. “You’re blocking the whole entry way. The Feng Shui is all off in here now and I’m liable to break my neck.”
He laughed, a deep rough chuckle, head tilted back. “Good thing the boyfriend is coming tonight. Someone’s in need of a good dicking.”
I seethed. “All I need is for you to move these boxes.”
Richard arrived late in the afternoon. Finn had disappeared sometime after I’d stormed off to my room for a long shower and still hadn’t returned.
Richard smiled at me and pressed a peck to my cheek. “Missed you.”
“Me too.” I leaned into his embrace for just a second before he pulled back.
“I’m exhausted.”
“Were you able to sleep on the plane?”
“No, I needed to finish some reports for Monday and then I got sucked into that new Jason Statham movie. I thought I’d put it on and fall right to sleep, but the next thing I knew, the flight attendants were preparing for arrival and Statham was saving the day.” He stopped when his rolling suitcase got caught on the edge of a box. “Woah. You weren’t kidding about him taking over the place. Those boxes are a real inconvenience.”
Hearing Richard make a big deal out of it made me realize how dumb it really was. They were just boxes. One more week until they’d be gone for good. Along with their owner. One week.
Okay, eight days to be exact, not that I was keeping track.
I followed Richard into my bedroom. He placed his suitcase tidily in one corner and then finally wrapped me in his arms and pulled me against his chest. I nuzzled in, closing my eyes and inhaling his familiar scent and the feel of his starched shirt against my cheek.
“We need to be at my brother’s in forty-five minutes,” I said as I raised my head and tilted up to brush my lips along his. He smiled and my body hummed with need. It had been too long without sex. I craved the connection between us as much as I did the orgasm. Or nearly as much anyway. Days apart and weeks without being touched, I didn’t know how he hadn’t already torn my clothes off and tossed me to the bed caveman style.
Actually, I did know. Richard treated me with the utmost respect and patience. He knew all about my past and you couldn’t know those things without treating me and sex with me differently. I’d learned that over time. Harry had been the same way. Eventually I hoped Richard would understand that it was okay. I wasn’t as fragile as he thought. It wasn’t like the sex was bad – it was great, it just lacked that eyes rolling back in the head, out of breath, passion I believed was still possible for me sober and damag
ed.
At the height of my addiction, I’d been raped. Though I didn’t remember it, only the excruciating days after when Chance had found out and went on a rampage to destroy everyone who had a part in it. Being raped hadn’t killed me or my ability to enjoy sex. It just made it so everyone else believed it had. In some ways it probably saved my life. Who knows what else might have happened if I hadn’t had such a brutal wakeup call?
“I’m so tired. Is it okay if I skip dinner? I’ll see them tomorrow.”
The heels of my feet dropped to the floor. “No.”
Richard’s eyes widened in surprise by my answer and then he smiled sheepishly.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve been looking forward to seeing you, and I want to spend the evening with you and my family.”
“You’re right.” He nodded and ran a hand through his hair. He dropped a kiss to my nose and then stepped back. “I’m gonna shower.”
“Good idea,” I responded, already looking for a clip to pin my hair up so I could join him. But the offer didn’t come, and Richard disappeared into my bathroom with his rolling bag and a tired look in his eyes.
Adele
After dinner, we sat around the old wooden dining room table that had once been my mother’s. CJ had passed out an hour ago leaving the four of us to talk. My brother and Richard didn’t have a lot in common, but they both tried for me – something I greatly appreciated.
Richard had on his adorable frowny thinking face as Chance explained plans to continue the landscaping in the back yard.
“Almost have it finished and then we can start in on the front.”
“Doesn’t look like I’m going to have to worry about landscaping anytime soon,” Richard said. “The opening of the New York office has already been delayed six months due to some conflicts with the building manager and the contractor.” He squeezed my shoulder with the arm that was wrapped around me. “It’s city living for the foreseeable future for me.”
Jilted Jock : A Hero Club Novel Page 5
