“It got extended again?” He hadn’t mentioned another extension. I knew this job was important to him and that it would likely cement his advancement to partner, but it felt like we’d never be able to move on with our lives while we were living across the country from one another.
He shot me a rueful grin. “Yeah, I meant to tell you earlier.”
“Six more months isn’t so bad,” Aubrey piped up. “You can still visit each other on weekends. New York has so much to see.”
Seeing more of New York did excite me. It was just that the few times I’d gone, Richard had been stuck in the office and wandering the city by myself was a bit… overwhelming.
“Actually, I was thinking maybe it could be more than weekend visits.”
“How do you mean?” Chance asked.
The air was heavy as Richard took his time answering. “I was hoping you’d move with me.”
“To New York?” I asked though it was obvious.
“For six months? What about her job?” Bless Aubrey for asking because I couldn’t work through the shock to form a single coherent thought.
Finally, somewhere the answer clicked. “They’ve offered you the job to run the office.”
He nodded. “Just found out yesterday. I’ll finally be a partner.”
“That’s great,” I gushed because it really was. I knew this was his dream. Maybe not New York exactly, but location had never really mattered to Richard. He didn’t hold ties to cities and people that way. He’d moved all over as a kid and hadn’t lived anywhere near his family since college.
It was one of the things I’d found endearing about him – his ability to travel and tackle new cities without feeling lost or homesick. Home was just wherever he was at the moment. I felt braver somehow just by association.
“Congratulations, mate.” Chance clapped him on the shoulder, but I didn’t miss the worried glance he shot at Aubrey.
My brother was the worst when it came to coddling and protecting me. Yes, I’d given him very good reasons to worry about me, but I was doing good. Great even. But I knew he wouldn’t like me moving somewhere he couldn’t check after me so easily.
“Well, it’s just an offer,” Richard said, and his brown eyes checked my reaction carefully. He dropped his arm from my shoulder and scooted his chair closer to the table. “We can talk about it more later.”
Aubrey, bless her twice, carried the conversation after that, asking Richard about New York, what it was like to travel, if he was sick of airports yet.
“No, I kind of like it. Up in the air where no one can distract me for a few hours. Work has gotten so chaotic, I don’t get that kind of silence anywhere else.”
“What about you, Adele?”
“Do I like flying?”
She nodded.
“Well it’s certainly less exciting than a road trip across the country, but far more efficient for a long weekend.”
Richard chuckled. “Remember that flight we were on together where you were stuck in between that family that had four kids under the age of five?”
“Don’t remind me. It was awful. I mean, the kids were adorable, but they didn’t sleep for all six hours and not even my noise cancelling headphones helped. One of the little boys put his hand right in the middle of my salad, spilled my water… It was a very long flight.”
“Where were you?” Aubrey asked Richard.
I elbowed him playfully. “He was up in first class sleeping while I was stuck in the back of the plane.”
We both chuckled, but when I glanced up, Chance had a weird expression on his face.
“What?” I asked him.
“Why didn’t you sit together?”
“He got upgraded and I didn’t.”
My brother nodded but I could tell he didn’t approve for some reason.
When we got back to my place, Richard and I changed for bed in silence. It wasn’t until we were both under the covers that he brought up moving to New York again.
“I’m dying to know what you think.”
“I’m really excited for you,” I told him honestly. “You’ve worked really hard for this.”
“But?”
“No buts.”
“So, you’ll come with me?” His face lit up.
“What would that look like? I just quit my job here? What if I can’t find something there? I have some savings, but—”
“I can put you in touch with the headhunter we’ve hired to fill the positions in the New York office. I don’t think you’ll have any problem finding a job there.”
“And we’d live together?”
“Of course. You want that, right?”
What woman didn’t want her boyfriend to ask her to move across the country to be with him? If I was honest, I wasn’t sure I did, but those were my issues and had nothing to do with him. I liked routine and stability and this disrupted that. My steady and reliable boyfriend had just shaken up my world. Go figure.
But I loved him for asking and for wanting us to be together, so I said the thing you’re supposed to say knowing it was going to be uncomfortable, but that it was right. Relationships were about sacrifice after all.
“Yes. I want that too.”
I laid awake after Richard fell asleep. I went over and over it trying to imagine my life in New York. A distant meow pulled me from bed, and I padded across the house. Kitty was in the spare room with the door shut. It was quiet and dark, and I hadn’t heard Finn come in, so I knocked lightly and then opened it a crack. Kitty came barreling out, did a lap around the living room, and then followed me into the kitchen. I grabbed a sparkling water and a bowl of strawberries.
I ate and drank standing up and leaning against the counter while kitty walked along the granite demanding I pet her.
“You were lonely in there, huh?”
She meowed in answer and I picked her up. Her purr made everything seem so silly. Why wasn’t I ecstatic about a real-life adventure? It wasn’t exactly Bear Grylls level bravery, but this could be fun. An opportunity to prove to Chance, Aubrey, and to myself that I could do this.
I put on some music and twirled, dancing my troubles away with kitty. She liked it at first until I got a little carried away and tried to lift her Patrick Swayze style over my head. She jumped with so much force it propelled me back and onto my ass.
“What in the hell are you doing to my cat?”
With my back to the door, and my ass still firmly planted on the hardwood, I closed my eyes and wondered if I could scoot into my bedroom without having to explain.
While I considered it, his heavy steps got closer and then there he was looking down at me, blue eyes dancing with laughter and a smug smile on his lips.
With the cat in one hand, he pulled me to my feet with the other, so I was standing close to him. Too close. I could smell the faint cologne he wore, and I wanted to lean in closer to get a better whiff.
“We were dancing.” I didn’t step back. I couldn’t. He had the hat on again, but sometime between this morning and now he’d shaved. I had the oddest desire to reach out and run my hand along his cheek to see if it was still smooth. Thank God I didn’t.
“Is that what that was? It looked like you were sacrificing her to the gods.”
I snorted and he smiled back at me, that imperfect smile that made me realize we were still standing close. I stepped away and retreated to the kitchen.
“I thought the boyfriend was coming into town?” he asked, following me.
“He is. He did.” I nodded toward my room.
“And he’s sleeping?”
“Yeah, it’s three hours ahead in New York.”
Finn made a noise in his throat that sounded like a scoff or a laugh. “Wouldn’t stop me if I hadn’t seen my girl in…”
“Two weeks,” I filled in for him.
“Too long,” he said, and his eyes slowly moved down from my face to take in my tank top and sleep shorts.
“Why are you back so early?” I sniffed the a
ir. “You don’t smell like booze or cheap perfume,” I said teasingly.
“I had dinner with a teammate.”
“Oh.” Earlier he’d let Chance believe he had a date. I’d believed it too. He must have read it on my face.
“I didn’t want to be a fifth wheel.” He settled in like he wasn’t going anywhere. I took a strawberry and then lifted the bowl, offering him one. He took one and then asked, “Wanna tell me why you’re out here instead of in there with your man?”
“I told you, he’s sleeping.”
“Right, but I know chicks like you. You love cuddling or spooning or whatever you call it. Something is on your mind and I’d bet that bowl of strawberries that it has to do with him.”
“Did you talk to Chance?”
He grabbed another berry and took a bite before he answered. “Not since this morning. Why? Does he know why your panties are in a twist and you’re dancing with my cat instead of in there with the boyfriend?”
“His name is Richard.”
He shrugged with one shoulder like he couldn’t care less to know his name.
“Richard asked me to move to New York with him.”
“And?”
“And it’s a big decision.”
“Seems pretty simple to me.”
I rolled my eyes. “My family is here, my job, my friends – everything I know.”
“Except him.”
I nodded. He was right. It sounded like I was placing all of that ahead of Richard. Luckily kitty provided a nice distraction as she leaped over boxes like hurdles.
“Have you picked a name for her yet? Did you veto today’s suggestions?”
I glanced down at my gratitude journal and found them all as I’d written. He either hadn’t looked or just hadn’t hated them enough to cross out.
“I don’t really care. You pick.”
“You’d let me name your cat?”
“She’s not my cat. Not for long anyway.”
“Did you find another home for her already?”
“Not yet, but my buddy Foster thought his sister might want her.”
“No!”
Finn chuckled.
“I’m sorry, but you can’t get rid of her. She’s bonded to you.”
“I think you mean you’ve bonded to her.”
“Well maybe, but I just couldn’t bear the thought of you two being separated.” Kitty came over and pranced in front of him until Finn picked her up. “She’s smitten.”
“Once the season starts, she’d be alone a lot. It’s not really fair of me to keep her.”
I nodded in understanding. “Maybe you could take her to kitty daycare or hire a nanny.”
“A nanny for my fucking cat?” He shook his head. “I’d never hear the end of it. I’d be laughed off the field.”
I smiled big.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.
“You just called her your cat.”
We finished the strawberries and I took the bowl to the sink. I noticed Finn staring at the boxes in the entryway.
“Is that more stuff from your old apartment?” I wondered if it was hard to see his old life boxed up like that.
“No,” he said firmly with no indication he planned to say more.
“What’s in the boxes?”
He shook his head.
“Come on. Tell me.”
He stayed silent which only made me more curious.
“Fan mail? Is that the weekly shipment of used panties and heart-shaped cards?”
He snorted but didn’t reply.
“Free merchandise?” I guessed. “Do you have some sort of shoe or merchandise deal where they send you loads of free stuff? Chance’s still getting royalty payments off merchandising.”
“No.”
“Tell meeee,” I begged.
He walked over to the closest one and kicked it lightly with the toe of his shoe. “Nothing I care about.”
“The suspense is killing me.”
He turned then and studied me closely. I couldn’t tell what he was deciding, only that he was making some sort of call – to trust me, maybe. To open up. Finally, he nodded once. “Open it and find out.”
I raced across the room and squealed as I tore into the first box. Whoever taped it had done a good job and it took a lot of effort before I finally pulled the flaps back to display the contents.
“Gifts?” I asked dumbly, staring down at the white and cream paper with exquisite bows. “Oh my God, Finn. Are these…?”
“Wedding gifts?” He nodded.
I pulled the smallest present out and sat down on the floor with it. It was so sad, and I had no idea what to say except, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s fine.”
Finn had a way of masking his emotions and putting on a front. I’d seen him do it with Chance and I knew he was doing it now.
“No, it’s not fine. What she did was awful and wrong, and I think I hate her a little bit for it even though I don’t know her at all.”
One side of his mouth pulled up. He sat down on the floor next to me. Long legs bent, he rested his elbows on his knees and motioned with his head. “Open it.”
“No. I can’t.”
“It’s either that or put them on the curb for trash pickup. I can’t donate them until I’ve taken them out of the wrapping.”
I gasped. The thought made me impossibly sadder somehow.
“You couldn’t return them?”
“The wedding planners said the people who wanted their gifts back took them before leaving that day. I guess the rest felt tacky about it.” He pointed to the beautifully wrapped gift in front of me. “You got me all curious about that one. Can’t stop now.”
I carefully slid my finger under the tape and my heart broke a little with that first give of the paper. The perfection had been marred and there was no fixing it. If Finn was upset about it, he didn’t show it.
My hands shook, but I trudged on methodically breaking the seal and finally uncovering…
“What is it?” I turned the gold, oddly shaped item. It was a rectangular shape, with a long opening on one side, two others were some sort of wavy design. It looked like a replica of an old instrument or maybe a part for a radiator.
“I think that’s a vase,” Finn supplied.
I placed it on the floor with the open side up trying to imagine flowers in it and couldn’t. “I don’t think so.”
“Check the tag.”
I lifted it, wondering what it was made of. It was so heavy. Solid gold, probably.
“Three hundred dollars for a tacky vase?” I didn’t catch my outburst in time. “Sorry, it’s just…” I searched for a word… any pleasant word to describe the hideous gold thing, only none came.
“It’s tacky as hell,” Finn said. “No need to sugarcoat it.” He smiled, but then it fell just as quickly. “Suppose it doesn’t matter. It’s junk now.”
He stood and went to the fridge, pulled out a water and stood with his hip against the counter as he took a long drink. My heart ached for him.
“You’re really going to open all of them?”
“If they’re as awful as that one, I don’t think I need to worry about getting lost in sentimentality.”
“But they’re your wedding presents.” I stood and walked toward him. “Doesn’t it make you sad or mad?” I balled my hands into fists. Finn’s gaze swept over me again, making me feel exposed and interesting… he looked at me like I was worth looking at.
“I like how riled up it makes you, but no.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I don’t believe you.”
He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “Alright, yeah, fine. It bloody sucks, but opening those presents is among the least awful parts of the whole thing so might as well be done with it. Then maybe I can finally put all of it behind me.”
I stood frozen. His words were less impactful than the way he looked right now – so beautifully broken.
>
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pried.” I went over to the floor, picked up the vase and discarded paper.
“Yes, well, I suppose I’ve made it your problem, haven’t I? Dragging my mess into your life and blocking your entry way. I don’t know shit about Feng Shui but walking by reminders of a wedding that didn’t happen every time you enter your house cannot be good.” He stormed over to the box, ran his hand through his hair again and spoke without looking at me. “You really don’t have any booze in the house? Doing this sober seems inhumane.”
I didn’t respond, wasn’t even sure he expected it, but when he glanced at me, I shook my head. He sighed loudly and then pulled a big square present out of the box. He opened it without showing any emotion or indecisiveness. Ripped it open without hurrying. It was all just so… surgical. When he pulled out a crystal frame and set it on the ground like it was as boring as unloading groceries, I moved to action.
Together we opened Finn’s wedding gifts. Exactly how many people had been invited to this wedding? And where had they registered? We hadn’t unwrapped a single pot or mixing bowl, instead it was expensive home décor and enough bar ware to outfit a restaurant.
“How long have you been sober?” he asked, holding up a nice scotch glass. It looked heavy and smooth in his hand; long fingers stretched around it.
“One thousand and forty-six days.”
He raised both eyebrows.
“Four and a half years. In rehab they taught me to concentrate only on today. Get through one day and then another and then another. I still count by days.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” I blushed. It felt weird to be congratulated on such a thing, but it was a big deal.
“What made you stop? Was it hitting rock bottom or something else?”
I felt my mouth drop open in surprise. No one had ever asked me that before. Even Richard. Admittedly, I didn’t give him much of a chance. I’d broken down and told him the entire story on our third date when he’d brought over a bottle of wine.
But we’d just opened wedding gifts for a wedding that hadn’t happened, so I felt like sharing some of my painful backstory might help Finn see that pain was temporary.
“I fell in love with a broken boy. A string of them really. Each one worse than the last. And then I met Darius. He was charming and haunted, and I was in that stage of my life where all I really wanted was to be seen and loved. My father had died and…” I shook my head. “I know that’s a shitty excuse, but I was lost. Chance was busy with soccer and Mum was grieving too.”
Jilted Jock : A Hero Club Novel Page 6
