Jilted Jock : A Hero Club Novel

by Rebecca Jenshak

Finn L. McCash

  Feb 25, 7:20 p.m.

  From: Finn_McCash15@gmail.com

  To: Adele.Bateman@gmail.com

  Subject: Goodbye

  It’s been two months and I think I’ve reached the limits of my pride. This is the last time I’m going to email you unless I hear back. Ball is in your court. A terrible phrase, but appropriate for the circumstances.

  I hope you’re insanely happy in New York. I hope you’re enjoying new adventures and taking life by the balls. Sometimes I even hope you’re happy with the boyfriend...errr fiancé.

  I don’t know what the hell kind of blip on the radar you and I were. Was I supposed to learn something? Appreciate life more? See a different life for myself? Well congratulations universe, you win. I had a glimpse and it was ripped away before I had time to figure out what it meant. I’ve never felt this way.

  I think it might mean I’m in love with you.

  Waiting for you to send my balls back,

  Finn

  Finn

  “McCash! Get your sexy ass in here,” Foster called out as he caught sight of me hobbling into the locker room.

  My calf throbbed at a tempo that matched the pounding in my head. I took a seat in front of my locker and winced.

  “Calf bothering you that much?” Foster asked and then a slow smile spread across his face. “Or is that a new sex injury from Juliaaaanna?” He exaggerated her name, drawing it out and grinning like an idiot.

  Kenton nodded. “We need the details from last night. Like immediately.”

  “First of all,” I said as I pulled my t-shirt over my head. “Nothing happened and secondly, telling my buddies about it the next day would make me a real loser.”

  “Nothing happened?” Foster’s brows raised up under his hairline in a clear accusation.

  “I left the club and went home right after you and Lauren left,” I told him honestly.

  Kenton pulled out his cell phone and turned it so I could see the screen. “This doesn’t look like you tucking yourself into bed alone.”

  “Fuck,” I muttered under my breath and took the phone to get a closer look.

  There we were. Julianna looking gorgeous in a gold dress that hugged her curves, hair pulled up in her signature half up look. She looked every bit the Brazilian supermodel she was. The angle of the photo looked as if I were the aggressor, pinning her to the wall in Close Quarters – a new club in LA. It’d been very much the opposite.

  “Nothing happened,” I repeated and handed Kenton his phone.

  “But—” He looked so disappointed in me.

  Maybe I was disappointed in myself. Julianna was beautiful and knew exactly what she wanted and went after it. Last night what she’d wanted was me, but I just couldn’t fake it. The only woman I wanted was across the country and not speaking to me, but damn if my heart and brain could get their shit together to move on. I’d done my best to step into my old life – parties, nights out with the guys.

  By all outside appearances my life looked a lot like it had before – minus Cindy on my arm, but inside it all just felt wrong.

  We changed in silence after that and I hurried to get home. After a morning of therapy, I was ready for meds and a nap.

  Foster jogged to catch me in the parking lot. If I hadn’t had a two-minute head start he wouldn’t have needed to jog.

  “We’re going to grab a beer, you coming?”

  “Ehh…” I opened the door and threw in my bag. I glanced toward the training door where a few other guys were heading out together.

  My buddy followed my gaze and shook his head. “Come on. You can’t avoid Martins forever.”

  “I can’t?” I’d been doing a damn good job of it so far. The time in therapy had helped since it meant I was missing scrimmages with the team.

  Foster was more stubborn than me and he stood there silent while I weighed my options – go home alone and hang out with Marshmallow or have a few beers with the guys. Sadly, the one that sounded more appealing was making me a sad case. A man should only spend so much time alone with his cat.

  “Alright, but if he tries to speak to me…” I clenched my hands into fists at my side.

  “I will act as your bodyguard, Finnie Poo, don’t you worry.” He jogged around to the passenger side. “You’re driving.”

  The Zone was a nice place owned by a guy named Leroy who’d played professional soccer in the eighties. Unlike other places where the owners and bartenders wanted to give us free drinks and fawn over us, Leroy didn’t and didn’t tolerate his patrons doing it either. Somehow that made us all feel more at home. Not to say we didn’t enjoy a free drink and girls screaming our names across a crowded bar, but that was fun for about five minutes before we just wanted to be left alone to unwind in peace.

  Foster and I arrived before the rest of the guys, grabbed our beers, and headed to our usual table in the corner.

  “You look like shit.” Foster’s green eyes studied me as he sipped his beer. “You really turned Julianna down?”

  I nodded.

  He whistled low under his breath. “Damn, son, you’re more screwed up than I thought. You need to get back out there. What about Olivia? She asked about you again. You want me to set it up so we all go out together this weekend?”

  “Isn’t it weird for men our age to double date?”

  “Someone has to be there to make sure you don’t scare the girl off with all your brooding and emo shit.” He shook his head. I went out with Olivia last week and it hadn’t gone all that well so maybe he had a point. “Not a double date, just two couples hanging out together. If I’m completely honest, I might need the buffer myself. Lauren is getting a little…”

  “Clingy?”

  “Serious.”

  “She’s not the one then?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t think there is one. I think eventually people just settle down out of boredom. Did you think you’d found the one?”

  My mind automatically went to Adele, but I hadn’t told Foster much about her which meant he was referring to Cindy.

  “She did. Or that’s what she told me, obviously she lied or changed her mind about that. I guess I just took her word for it. If she felt that way, then it had to be true.” I chuckled. “Needless to say, I wouldn’t take advice from me.”

  The rest of the guys showed up sparing me any more deep conversation about love and my failed relationships. And I managed to not speak or even be in the same conversation as Martins. He stayed at the bar and I stayed at the table. Distance was good. Also good, he was the goalie, so I didn’t need to worry about playing with him on the field. He just needed to stay in his box and leave me the fuck alone forever or until I wasn’t so pissed he’d been banging my girl behind my back.

  Honestly, who does that? Especially to a teammate. He was lucky Cindy’s dad was an owner because if it were anyone else, he’d be quietly traded. GMs don’t like to deal with that shit. It can kill a team.

  “I should get home,” I said a couple hours later. I couldn’t drink much with the meds and though being out had helped keep my mind off Adele for a bit, my thoughts swung back to her like a wrecking ball.

  I wondered what it’d be like if she were home waiting for me. I probably wouldn’t have come to the bar in the first place, for starters. And I’d be a lot more excited about getting home.

  I took the back exit and was almost to my car when Martins called my name. “McCash, hey wait up.”

  He said it so casually that it pissed me right off. I didn’t turn around or respond. He wasn’t baiting me today.

  “Listen,” he said to my back. “I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to talk to you, but every time I walk in a room, you walk out.”

  “Yeah, that’s not an accident.”

  “Alright, I get it. You’re pissed. It was a shitty thing and I should have come to you straight away. Which is why I’m going to let you have a free shot.”

  I finally looked at him. Arms held out to his sides; head held strai
ght. Face sincere and reverent like he was doing me real justice. Gritting my teeth, I threw myself into my truck and peeled out.

  My phone rang as I pulled into the garage. I parked and killed the engine before glancing at the screen.

  “Hey,” I answered, surprised to see Chance’s name and just as surprised when he actually spoke, confirming it was really him.

  “Hey, mate. Long time, no talk.”

  “Yeah.” I chuckled nervously. For the two weeks I’d been staying at Adele’s, Chance and I had spent a good amount of time together. He came over nearly every day while Adele was at work to make sure I wasn’t bringing booze or girls back. I’d avoided him since, if I was being honest. He’d texted a couple times to see if I wanted to get together, but I’d blown him off. Too afraid that he might tell me she was happy or that he’d see right through me and know I had not-so low-key feelings for his sister. My poker face was shit.

  “How are you? Saw online about the strain. Are you going to be able to play next week?”

  Our first regular season game was next Saturday and though I knew I could grin and bear it to play, I most likely wouldn’t be cleared for a couple more weeks.

  “Probably not, but I should be back by the end of the month.”

  “Glad to hear it.”

  There was a beat of awkward silence. If I knew Chance then there was a reason for this call, but he wasn’t spitting it out for some reason.

  “How are you? The family? Everyone doing well?”

  “Yeah, everyone’s great. CJ is still talking about you. Going on and on about how he wants to be like you someday.”

  “Yeah?” I smiled. “You should bring him down to the field. Let me show him around.” I don’t know why it hadn’t occurred to me before. I would have shit myself for that kind of opportunity as a kid. CJ was still a bit young to fully appreciate it, but he’d still be excited to run around and kick a few balls.

  “He’d love that.” His quiet chuckle sounded in my ear. “I might take you up on that.”

  “Do. Bring him tomorrow. I’m doing activation with the team, but I can take you around while the rest of the guys are training. Should be a light day for them with the upcoming game. Around ten work?”

  He hesitated for only a moment. “Yeah, alright. That’d be great. Thanks, Finn.”

  “No problem.”

  “Alright, well I guess we’ll see you tomorrow then.”

  Looks like I had less than twelve hours to work on my poker face.

  CJ bounced beside Chance as we walked along the outskirts of the field.

  “Are you going with the team to Vegas?” he asked, holding on to CJ’s hand to keep him from charging out onto the field.

  “No. I’ve got a follow up with the doctor Saturday morning so I’m staying behind, get a few extra days rest. I’m hoping to be training again by the end of next week.”

  “Hard to be on the sidelines.”

  I wondered if he was sympathizing or if he still missed it. He’d had a career ending injury on his very first game. That’d been years ago, but the look on his face when I glanced over at him watching the guys told me it still struck a chord.

  “You guys want to head inside and kick the ball around a bit?” I asked, looking around Chance to CJ. Chance had to tug his hand and re-ask the question to get his attention. The kid was enthralled with the action on the field which made me smile.

  “Maybe we let him watch a little longer. Kid is never this still.”

  CJ still bounced, but he was at least in one spot.

  “Yeah, alright.” I motioned with my head to some chairs at the north end line. Chance and I took a seat while CJ continued to hop around next to us, taking it all in.

  “Which position do you play?” I asked him.

  CJ shrugged.

  “At his age, it’s sort of a cluster. They just run from one end to the other and try not to fall down.” Chance ruffled CJ’s hair absently and it hit me. A pang of a future that I couldn’t see anymore. A wife, kids…

  “Look, Daddy.” CJ’s voice interrupted my thoughts. He was pointing to the man closest to us. He pulled out a pair of winter gloves from his coat pocket and put them on, so he matched the goalie.

  It pained me, honestly pained me, that CJ was even giving Martins more than a passing glance, but the kid didn’t need my baggage, so I let it go without commenting. Though, I really, really wanted to. Nothing remotely nice or kid appropriate either.

  We watched the team for a little while longer. The scrimmage on the field the only noise. Arguably my favorite noise. The buzz of adrenaline and competition. The cheering fans were a nice touch on game days, but not necessary to get the energy flowing through my limbs. I couldn’t wait to get back out there.

  “Heard from Adele?”

  “Huh? No. Why would I hear from Adele?” My voice sounded tight and too high. I discreetly cleared my throat before I spoke again. “No, not since she left. How is she?” I forced a dismissive and upbeat tone into the question like I wasn’t desperate for any news on her and wasn’t borderline electronically stalking her.

  “Good. Good.” He nodded. “At least I think so. Aubrey is worried. I’m sure it’s just her missing having Adele around and projecting. We’re going to surprise her this weekend. Make a road trip out of it.”

  “You’re going to visit her?”

  He nodded.

  My heart hammered in my chest. “Aubrey’s that worried?”

  “I don’t know. Says she doesn’t sound like herself.” He shrugged and gave me a rueful smile. “She sounds the same to me, but I haven’t always picked up on Adele’s changes in behavior. I’m sure it’s nothing, but it’ll be good to see her. Surprised you two haven’t stayed in touch though. I thought for sure you’d made a lasting impression.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck. Oh, I’d made a lasting impression… I was sure of that, but I wasn’t about to tell my buddy the details. “She’s probably just busy getting settled in New York.”

  I wasn’t sure if I was consoling him or me. I still hadn’t heard from her and I didn’t understand it.

  It was true that I was used to women falling over me. Even when I was with Cindy, it didn’t stop girls from trying, but I didn’t think the time I’d spent with Adele and the pang of sadness I still felt without seeing her every day was simply because she was unobtainable.

  Unobtainable wasn’t all that appealing to me. Not because I wasn’t willing to put in the effort, but because I didn’t want a woman that was playing games. Adele wasn’t. She’d made her choice and stuck by it. I admired the hell out of that, I just couldn’t help but think she made the wrong choice.

  The team took a break and CJ got bored. We took him inside to the indoor turf and kicked the ball around with him.

  “Nice kick, little man,” I told him, offering my fist. He didn’t know what to make of that, so I opened my palm and he slapped it.

  Far sooner than I wanted, Chance and CJ were heading out. I’d enjoyed having them. It gave me some purpose to my day that I’d missed. I walked them out, shuffling my feet as Chance got CJ in his car seat.

  “When do you get back? Maybe you two could come back to another practice or maybe a game.”

  “Two weeks.”

  “Wow, that long.”

  Two weeks until I can ask him how she’s doing. Real casual like, of course. Oh, you just got back from your trip. I completely forgot about that. How was it? How’s Adele? Did she break up with that wanker fiancé yet and realize we’re meant to be together?

  Maybe while he was gone I should look into moving the fuck on. It might make the news that she’s happy and doing well easier to swallow if I’d found someone I could stand for more than two dates.

  Stand was a gross exaggeration. They were all perfectly lovely. They just weren’t Adele.

  “Yeah, Aubrey has a fundraiser for the shelter Friday night so we’re going to leave first thing Saturday. Hope to make it there by Thursday and spend a long wee
kend before coming back.”

  “That’s a long drive. Why not fly?”

  “Pixy doesn’t like airplanes.”

  I raised a brow, started to raise the other until I realized he was dead serious.

  “You’re taking the goat?”

  “Of course. Family vacation, mate.”

  Finn

  I deleted the email draft, the second – okay the sixth – I’d started today. I’d told her the ball was in her court and she’d made it clear she wasn’t kicking it back to me. Nah, she’d taken the ball, stomped on it, and thrown it away. Only the ball was my heart.

  I wasn’t always such a sap, I didn’t think.

  Closing my laptop, I pushed off the couch, said goodbye to Marshmallow, and grabbed my keys. I was going to be late for my date obsessing over a girl I hadn’t talked to in months.

  Foster had convinced me a night out with him and his girl would make my delayed second date with Olivia less awkward. I hoped he was right. I could use a distraction and getting laid probably wasn’t a terrible idea either.

  Olivia and I arrived at Foster’s penthouse at the same time. He lived in a spectacular building with views of the hills and the city lights. My buddy liked to entertain – mostly he liked to entertain ladies. Not that he was a man whore, he dated the same girl for three to six months at a time but as soon as he started to feel like things were too serious – he’d cut her loose.

  His place was great for dinner and drinks with a view while still feeling casual. Not having to worry about photographers or fans coming up in the middle of conversation was nice too.

  “Foster, this place looks great. Who did you get to decorate?” Olivia asked.

  He replied and they talked back and forth about the changes since he bought the place.

  “Wait, did you sell the place to him?” I asked.

  She nodded, a pleased smile pulling her glossy lips up and displaying her LA smile. Everyone here had perfect white teeth all the same size. Veneers or something. I dunno but it threw me off. I chastised myself internally. Now I was tossing women aside for being too perfect. My teeth were crowded and overlapped a bit on the bottom. I wasn’t one to be tossing people overboard for shit like that that didn’t really matter. What did matter is that she wasn’t Adele and I was hunting for reasons to dislike her.