Behind His Eyes: Truth

by Aleatha Romig

  Catherine sat, perched forward on the edge of the chair. “Anton-thony, are you positive this is what you want? I mean, she was unsure at first. What if she leaves and doesn’t come back?”

  Tony shook his head. “She won’t. She left to go out with Sue and came back.”

  “So, you trust her to leave today and return?”

  He exhaled. “I think I’ve answered that.”

  Catherine lowered her gray gaze. Peering upward she proclaimed, “I’m proud of you.”

  His brow arched. “Why?”

  “I wasn’t sure you’d be able to forgive her after everything she did, but once again, you’ve proved me wrong.”

  “It’s more complicated than you know—and I want it to work.”

  She patted his hand. “I can tell you do. Of course it’s complicated—she’s a Nichols.”

  Tony glared. “We agreed that was done.”

  “Yes, of course, it was. It is,” she corrected. “That doesn’t change her last name. Certainly that’ll always be in the back of your mind. Is that why it’s complicated?”

  “Believe it or not, it isn’t and it won’t be. If I have my way, her last name will be Rawlings again one day, hopefully sooner rather than later.”

  “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see you happy, but you know as well as I that she can never share your real name. Besides, aren’t you rushing things?”

  “She can and she did. Rawls is gone. I’ve resigned myself to that and you need to also. My name is Rawlings and she’ll have that name again.”

  “You seem very sure of yourself. So why is it so complicated?”

  Tony debated his answer. “Do you remember me telling you that Claire had been doing some detective work?”

  Catherine nodded.

  “Well, she knows about the blue Honda.”

  Catherine gasped, “That’s impossible—how?”

  “I don’t know, but she knows that there was a woman.”

  “And…?” she probed.

  “If she knows your identity, she hasn’t shared.”

  Catherine ran her hands up and down her thighs rubbing the smooth fabric of her slacks. “How is that even possible?”

  “You started it with your delivery. I’m not going to tell her, but if she learns, you only have yourself to blame.”

  “B-but that’s not true. I didn’t send any information to lead her in that direction. It was all meant as a way for her to understand you.” Catherine stared pleadingly. “And it’s worked. Look how well it’s worked.”

  “I’m not going to debate your motive or even the outcome. You know as well as I that it could have gone much differently. Claire isn’t the problem; it’s that her laptop has been stolen and is in the hands of some burglar who now has access to our family history.”

  Catherine paced the length of his desk. “What are you going to do?”

  “Anything I can,” his baritone voice hardened. “I will get that damn laptop back and find out who stole it and why.”

  “Do you think Claire knows?”

  He leaned forward. “Catherine, she knows that my parents were killed. She said she believed me that I wasn’t responsible, that it was a woman in a blue Honda. If anything, she sounded more sympathetic than judgmental.”

  Catherine’s shoulders straightened as she hummed through tightly pursed lips.

  This was why Tony didn’t want to have this discussion. Whenever his parents were mentioned, even after all of these years, Catherine’s stance hardened. “It is time to let it go,” he reminded her.

  “You’re telling me that Claire is on the verge of learning information that could land us both in prison, and I should feel good about it?”

  “I’m telling you that I won’t tell her. It’s a secret we’ve kept this long, and I believe if she ever does learn the truth, she’s trustworthy.”

  “I hope you’re right. Please find that laptop.”

  Tony nodded. “I have people working on it. Now, if you don’t mind.” He gestured toward the door.

  “It’s good to see you happy. I hope she doesn’t disappoint you—again.”

  As Catherine left the office and closed the door, Tony contemplated her comment. He didn’t want to be disappointed; however, more than that, he didn’t want to disappoint. It wasn’t only Claire, but also their child. He wanted to believe that if he continued to keep his word, show Claire how important she was, and how much they belonged together, then they could avoid disappointing one another.

  There was a time, long ago, when they’d had a different mutual agreement. He’d promised to not hurt her again, if she promised to follow his rules. In many ways it was the same; however, the rules were different and so was the pain. After experiencing her accident and the aftermath, Tony truly didn’t want it to happen again. Now that the threat was no longer physical, perhaps the new fear was greater. Never, even when they were married, had he wanted to allow her access to the real man behind Anthony Rawlings. Tony didn’t know if it was the child or her newfound strength, but regardless of the reason, he wanted to share. That desire incited a fear deep within him as he’d never known. Was this what it was like to truly love someone? Did it mean more than a promise of obedience and togetherness? Did it also mean allowing yourself to be vulnerable?

  Later in the morning, while reviewing emails, the door to Tony’s office burst open. There was no knock, no request, just a very determined Claire as displeasure emanated from her very being, setting the mood of the room before she ever uttered a word. “Tony, what the hell have you done?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “After I got dressed, I checked my emails. One is a confirmation of my airline reservation cancellation.” She stood defiantly before him. “I did not cancel my reservation. I called the airline, and they informed me my seat has been sold. They have no open seats for my original flight or any others until tomorrow. I told you I was going back to California today. You promised me!”

  Despite her obvious angst, her boldness intrigued him. He tried to conceal his amusement as he replied in a soothingly calm voice, “I promised you a return ticket. I’m a man of my word; you have a ticket.”

  “A voided ticket—semantics!” Her volume rose with each phrase. “I want to be on that flight!”

  “Claire, listen to reason.” He gestured toward the chairs. “Have a seat.”

  “No.” Her arms crossed defiantly across her heaving breasts.

  The muscles in his neck tightened as his eyebrows rose. “Very well, stand if you prefer. How are you feeling today?”

  Claire glared. “You’re not changing the subject. I’m going home.”

  “I hoped you’d consider yourself home.”

  Claire exhaled, paced the length of the desk and back, and then collapsed into one of the chairs she’d just refused. “Tony, why do you have to push and push? I truly have had a wonderful weekend, and I’ve surprisingly enjoyed being on your estate, but I have a life. I have plans. Amber is leaving for a conference, and I want to see her before she leaves. John and Emily will be in Palo Alto Monday. They’re spending four days looking for housing. I need to be there.”

  “Amber is leaving?” he asked with obvious concern. “You’ll be alone?”

  “I won’t be with anyone in public, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “That goes without saying. I’m asking you if you will be alone?” His volume rose. “Christ, Claire! Your condominium was broken into. It isn’t safe!”

  “You’re trying to scare me into staying. I’m not falling for it. My building has top-notch security, Harry is utilizing more SiJo resources, and then there are always your people watching me. I lead a damn parade!”

  “Your laptop was stolen.”

  “Stuff happens. It isn’t a cause to stop living.”

  He tried to reason. “We have plans beginning Friday in Chicago. In your condition, you shouldn’t be flying all over the country.” He exhaled and added, “In a commercial plane.
Do you know how many people get ill after breathing that recycled air?” Tony had recently read an article on the homepage of his browser about increased illnesses on airplanes and figured it was worth a try.

  “You’re really stretching here. Tell me how I’m getting back to California—today?”

  He sighed. “I want to take you back upstairs and lock that door,” he glared and emphasized, “from the outside.”

  Expecting Claire to retreat, as she would have done years ago, Tony watched, astonished, as Claire stood and walked toward him. Her closed lips formed a soft smile as she peered deep into his eyes. With her petite hands framing his cheeks, she bent toward him until their noses touched, and brushed her lips to his. “Tony, I believe you. I know that’s what you want. I drove to town yesterday, and I came back.” She kissed him again. “I will go to California today, and I’ll be back in Chicago—on Friday. Remember what we said the other night?” She didn’t wait for his answer. “We said we needed to trust each other.”

  With his face still in her hands, he closed his eyes and nodded.

  She continued in her soft and steady voice. “I trust you not to lock my suite from the outside. You need to trust me to return.”

  Tony reached out and encircled her waist. His touch found its way beneath her blouse and caressed the soft skin in the small of her back. The contact soothed him as he tugged her onto his lap. She reached out and circled his neck. In a gentler tone, he said, “You don’t need to believe me. I know I need to earn that right, but I did not have anything to do with the break-in. It wasn’t a plan to scare you into staying here. I’m concerned.” He kissed her lips and moved his hand to her stomach. “And not just for you.”

  Claire lowered her face to his shoulder. “Thank you. From the moment I saw the little blue plus, I’ve been concerned too. You have to know, I’ll do anything necessary to keep myself and our baby safe. I just need to be in California, especially this week. I have a lot going on.”

  “What if I told you that you shouldn’t have a lot going on? You deserve to rest and allow others to do for you. If Catherine knew about the baby, then you’d never lift another finger.”

  She lifted her head; her eyes glistened as they met his. “I have something to show you.”

  He raised his brow. “Oh?”

  Ignoring his suggestive tone, Claire removed a piece of paper from her pocket. With trembling fingers, he took the grainy picture from her grasp. “Is this what I think it is?”

  Claire nodded, barely able to contain her emotion. “Yes, it’s our little one’s first picture.”

  Tony looked from the picture to Claire and back to the picture. Grinning, he said, “I want her to have your eyes.”

  Claire smiled. “I know you are used to getting your way, but sex and eye color are non-negotiable.”

  “I don’t know… sex sounds great, and I love your eyes. Would you like to negotiate?”

  Claire’s cheeks blushed as she shook her head. “How am I getting… back to California?”

  “The same way you’re getting to Chicago—in a private plane. I know you refused it before, but it’s a safer mode of transportation, and there’s no public record of your itinerary.”

  She exhaled. “Thank you.”

  “Since you don’t have a gate to reach at a designated time, I’d like you to stay here until we can share an early dinner.”

  She kissed his cheek. “I think that can be arranged.”

  Claire hadn’t been gone from his office for long when Tony knew his work could wait. He wanted to spend as much of the day with her as he could before she left. He’d been contemplating a question he wanted to ask, and after the picture she’d just shown him, Tony knew what he wanted to do.

  He made his way to her suite; however, before he knocked, his back straightened as Catherine’s voice came into range. Tony didn’t need Catherine fishing for information. Didn’t she realize that it would fuel Claire’s curiosity more than it would squelch it? As he opened the door, both ladies turned in his direction. “Oh, am I interrupting?” he asked, feigning surprise as a fleeting glare went Catherine’s way.

  Claire walked to Tony and took his hand. “No, but since you’re here…?”

  He looked at her, questioning. “Yes?”

  “I think I’d like to share something with Catherine, but not without you.”

  Their news. A soft smile came to his lips. “Catherine, I suggest you sit.”

  Although she looked at him suspiciously, Catherine silently made her way to the sofa and sat as Claire handed her the ultrasound picture. It took a moment to register, but finally her gray eyes widened and she proclaimed, “You’re pregnant?”

  Claire beamed and nodded.

  It was then that Catherine looked toward Tony, who stood with Claire’s hand in his and his chest proudly puffed. Catherine continued with both shock and amazement in her voice, “The two of you?” She sprang from the sofa and embraced Claire. “Oh my, a Rawls-Nichols baby. I can’t believe it.”

  Tony glared at Catherine over Claire’s shoulder while simultaneously fighting the red. Not now, he told himself. Not in front of Claire, but when they were alone, he and Catherine would have words. Tony didn’t know how to make it any more clear—this was a Rawlings baby!

  Life moves very fast. It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.

  —Paulo Coelho

  While they waited for dinner, Tony and Claire relaxed in the pool. Everything was perfect, from the warm June sunshine to the blue Iowa sky. Tony recalled Claire once calling their pool her slice of heaven, and he hoped she still felt that way as he asked his very important question. The last time he’d asked her to marry him, it was elaborately planned, but this was different. The first time he’d told her that he knew what it was like to have her gone during her accident. Now, he truly knew what it was like to have her gone, and he wanted her beside him, now and forever. It wasn’t about a name or letting the world know she was his. It was about his envelope, about his family, about keeping them safe and making them happy. With all of his heart, Tony believed it was about love. He’d called it that before, but this was different than what they’d shared in the past. Maybe, just maybe, this was what love really was.

  Swimming the length of the pool, Tony surfaced at Claire’s feet. Her giggles as he pretended to pull her into the water rang over the grounds, filling him like no business deal ever could. Then, just when she thought she was safe, he scooped her into his arms and into the water. It was after she feigned fighting that she finally submitted to floating within his embrace. Though her eyes were closed, Tony watched her sun-kissed cheeks and nose, and fought the urge to kiss her pink lips. He observed as the water ebbed and flowed over her firm stomach, and her dark hair floated in a halo around her face. How long would it be until it was obvious to the world that she was pregnant? Tony truly knew nothing about the subject and vowed to learn more before they met again in Chicago.

  Although their plans were to take place in only five days, it seemed like an eternity. Summoning his courage, as she lifted her head from the water, he said, “I want to show you something.”

  “I’m curious,” she asked with a seductive smile, “is it something I’ve seen before?”

  He grinned, returning her sparkling gaze. “Yes, but not what you’re thinking.”

  Tony led her up the steps, out of the pool, and over to one of the umbrella tables. Sitting knee to knee, he reached into the pocket of his bathing suit and pulled out Claire’s engagement ring. As soon as he opened his palm and the sunlight reflected off the brilliant diamond, she gasped and searched his face. “Tony, how did you…?”

  “I bought them back,” he timidly answered, trying to gauge her reaction for the right words.

  “I’m sorry. I needed money—”

  He interrupted, “If I give them back, will you promise not to sell them?”

  “Why would you give them back?”

  “Do I need to get on one knee?” he a
sked with a hopeful grin. “I suppose I didn’t do that the first time.”

  Suddenly, Claire stood and backed away. She moved so fast that Tony feared she would trip and fall. Finally, with her eyes still large, she said, “No, I’m not ready for anything like that.”

  He looked back at the ring in his hand and asked, “No, never—or no, not yet.”

  Kneeling before him, Claire appeased him, “Tony, slow down. I told you that I like the dating thing… we never did that. Please don’t push too hard. In the last week, we’ve survived a major game changer. I think we need to proceed with caution.”

  He reached for her left hand and slipped the diamond ring onto her fourth finger. Of course it fit: it was hers. With a mischievous smile, Tony explained, “I just wanted to make sure it still fit.”

  Removing the platinum engagement ring, Claire placed it back in his hand and closed his fingers around it. “I appreciate the offer. Don’t make me give you a definite answer. If you do, you won’t be happy. Let’s be content with what we have—for now.”

  Reluctantly, he accepted the ring and her touch. Instead of replying, he took her hand and kissed each finger, one by one. Kisses became suckles as he tenderly caressed her with his lips and tongue. Slowly, he moved up her arm until he was at that spot between her neck and collarbone, the one that produced goose bumps. Between kisses, he confessed, “I’ve made some bad decisions… and done some things in my life that I regret… but without a doubt… what I regret the most… is divorcing you.” He searched her emerald eyes for any sign of hope. “If you tell me there’s hope, that one day you’ll be Mrs. Rawlings again—I’ll wait.” As his lips roamed her moist body, Claire’s eyes closed, and moans replaced words. It wasn’t the answer he wanted, but it was the response he loved. “May I get you out of this wet suit, Ms. Nichols?” he emphasized her name.

  She heatedly answered, “Yes… and Mr. Rawlings… there’s always hope.”

  Though times had changed, they both knew the staff wouldn’t intrude. It wasn’t until later, when both of them were again covered by bathing suits and Claire napped while Tony reapplied her sunscreen, that anyone came to the deck to announce their impending meal.