Love Me

by Cristin Cooper

  “I’m obviously doing something wrong if you’re surprised. I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished in your life. Everything I’ve done is because I worry about you, and I know you deserve better than the men you’ve dated, but it sounds like…”

  “Kevin,” I filled in.

  “Kevin might almost be worthy of you.”

  “Maybe, but I’m not so sure I’m worthy of him.”

  32

  The moment I stepped into The Hawthorne, a sense of comfort and stability washed over me. Nothing else in my life made me feel as confident, secure or appreciated as my job. At least since Kevin took back my ring. But I refused to think about him right now. Just like I didn’t think about him all week morning, noon and night.

  Walking toward my office, Tara caught up with me. “I’m so glad you’re back. We missed you this week.” I hadn’t been home an hour from the coast when I received a call from my boss informing me he needed me on a plane for Seattle. A sister hotel was holding an event for the Mayor, the biggest of the year and their event planner quit the day before. So for the past week, I finalized what I hoped would be something that passed their expectations and flew back this morning leaving the assistant in charge of the evening.

  “It’s good to be back.” At least it was until I walked into my office and the scent of flowers overwhelmed me. On top of my desk sat a vase filled with two dozen roses.

  “Kevin…”

  “He came by twice and called every day leaving messages. I’m so sorry. I forgot to tell you, but every time we talked it was only for a few minutes and about some fire that needed to be put out,” Tara said, speaking so fast she didn’t take a breath until she finished.

  “It’s okay. I’m not sure I would’ve been able to deal with this.” I stared at the beautiful flowers and felt hopeful for the first time in weeks.

  “Your messages are on your desk. I’ll leave you to it.” She closed the door behind her, leaving me staring at the pile of pink notes on my computer keyboard.

  Last week, after running out of Kevin’s apartment, I had turned off my cell phone. Afraid he wouldn’t call and afraid he would, I left it off all week and used my work cell phone.

  As I picked up the messages, the ring from my office phone startled me. I managed to get the words, “Hello, this is Kim,” out before my mother said, “Where’ve you been? Why haven’t you called me back?”

  I dropped my messages into my purse than began to turn on my computer and prepare for the day. “Good morning to you too.”

  “Sorry, sweetie, I’ve just been trying to get a hold of you all week, and you’re not answering your phone and your assistant Tara said you were out of town.”

  “I had to go to Seattle, but I got back early this morning. What’s up?”

  “I didn’t know if you had heard that Adam’s father, Richard is getting married tonight.”

  “I had heard. I’m very happy for him and Kitty.”

  “Oh, you know them?” She used her sweet as sugar voice which meant she was annoyed about something. If I had to guess, it was because she was the last to know anything.

  “I do. In fact, I’m going to the wedding, at least for a little while.” Watching a happy couple say “I do” didn’t appeal to me, but I adored Kitty and would tolerate the lovefest for her.

  “Well, Anna said Michael, Adam’s son was in town, and they’re planning on going to the beach on Sunday and Monday.”

  “Oh that’ll be fun,” I said wondering why she would call to tell me this.

  “Yes, it will. Dad and I will be there, and we hoped you would come too. It’ll be nice to get to know him since I’m pretty sure he will become family soon.”

  “Mom…” I sighed. As much as I loved going to the coast, I hadn’t slept well for days and wanted to vegetate in bed all day Sunday. “I’m not sure. I’ve been gone all week, and I might have to work Monday.”

  “I’m sure you could take off Monday. You’re the boss, and we don’t know when Michael will be back in town. I don’t want you to regret getting a chance to get to know him.” The desperation in her voice put me on high alert, but she had a point. If Adam and his son were going to be in Anna’s life, then I did want to get to know them better.

  I checked my schedule and noticed Monday was free, so even though I hated to give in to my mother, I agreed. “Fine. I’ll come.”

  “That’s wonderful. What time do you think you’ll be here?”

  “Around noon, I guess. I plan to sleep in tomorrow.”

  “Noon you say?” she repeated a little louder as if she were talking to someone else.

  “Yeah.” I drew out the word as I grew suspicious of my mother’s motives.

  “That’ll be perfect. I can’t wait to see you.”

  “Me too,” I faked a cheerful tone then hung up. I stared at my phone wondering why she acted weird, even for my mother.

  “Is that…?” My heart raced when I saw a familiar car parked in front of Pete and Amber’s house. “No. It can’t be. Why would he be here?”

  Ignoring the lump in the pit of my stomach, I walked up the driveway past the line of cars and to the front door where I heard happy voices coming from inside. I smiled at Jakey, who saw me first and ran into my arms, giving me the best four-year-old hug. “You’re here! We’ve been waiting for you.”

  “You have?” I kissed his cheek and set him back on his feet.

  “Yeah. We have a surprise,” he squealed.

  I looked up when I realized everyone had gone silent. All eyes were on me. My whole family filled the living room along with Pete, Amber, Adam, Michael and…

  It was his car. Why was he here? “Kevin?” Just saying his name took the last of the air in my lungs. For a brief moment, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to breathe again.

  Kevin stood in front of me looking casual, beautiful and happy. I didn’t want him to be happy when I had been miserable. Feeling confused and a little betrayed that he was here, I took a step back when he reached out for me.

  Dropping his hands, he whispered my name. “Kimberly.”

  “What are you doing here?” I looked around, aware of my family watching us. I had witnesses to a lot of embarrassing moments in my life, but I couldn’t bear to have my family watch this. Whatever this was.

  Kevin must have felt my discomfort and nodded his head toward the door and the trail leading to the beach. “Will you walk with me?”

  Glancing at my family one more time, I nodded and led the way. Once out of earshot and sight of everyone, he placed his hand on my lower back as we walked side by side. His touch brought tears to my eyes, which only made me angrier. I didn’t want to be weak Kimmie, who forgave too soon and made excuses for people who hurt me, but I didn’t want him to stop touching me either.

  Since he wasn’t speaking, I began. “Why are you here?” I didn’t dare look at him, seeing the way he looked at me would force me to lose my resolve to be angry with him.

  “Before I tell you, I have something I want to say…or explain. Nothing happened between Grace and I. Nothing ever would.”

  “Kevin, I…”

  “Just let me finish. She’s not you, Kimberly. What I felt for her in all the years together can’t compare to how much I love you. You drive me crazy in the best way possible.”

  Dammit. “Don’t make me laugh. I’m mad at you.”

  “But you make me smile every single day we’re together. Every time I look at you, I see our future. I see our home filled with kids and laughter and love.”

  I shook my head not wanting to listen to him. He hurt me, and I couldn’t let words I had always wanted to hear sidetrack me. “Why was she at your apartment?”

  “She showed up in the middle of the night drunk.”

  He moved in front of me forcing me to stop. When I looked into his eyes, I saw his compassion. “We were together ten years, and though I’m no longer in love with her, I do care about her, and I couldn’t put he
r in a cab in her drunken state.”

  I sighed knowing that his compassion was one of the reasons I loved him. “The moment she sat on the couch, she fell asleep. I didn’t even talk to her until she woke up.”

  “So why was she there?” I figured I already knew, but I wanted to hear it from him.

  “She told me she regretted the way things ended and that she was ready to get married and have a family.”

  I blew out the breath I had been holding. He already said nothing happened between them, but I still felt that old jealousy.

  “I dropped her off at the airport and wished her a good life.”

  I pinched my eyes closed holding in the tears. I blamed them on the pregnancy hormones.

  “Don’t cry, sweetheart.” He pulled me into his arms, making it impossible to hold onto my anger and hurt. He loved me, and I knew it. It was real and genuine. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting you. Even therapists do shitty things. I’m not perfect. I wanted it all without taking into account your past and who you are. I love you, Kimberly. Exactly the way you are. Please forgive me.”

  “There’s nothing to forgive.” I wiped at my eyes and gave him a shaky smile. “I should’ve trusted you…us. Forgive me for not telling my family sooner. You mean the world to me and the idea of you not being in my life is just…”

  Before I could finish that sentence, his lips were on mine. Our first kiss in weeks and it didn’t last nearly long enough to take the edge off. “Does this mean we’re good?” He kissed me between each word making me giggle.

  “God, I hope so.” I wrapped my arms around him wanting him to be closer.

  What felt like seconds but closer to several minutes later, we managed to pull apart long enough for him to explain why he was here.

  “When you didn’t return my calls, I got desperate and called Amber, and she gave me your parents’ number. After a long conversation with your mother, she came up with the idea of all of us meeting this weekend since Adam, Anna, and the kids were going to be here.”

  “You talked to my mother?”

  “Yes and your father, but only for a few minutes. He’s not really a talker.”

  I chuckled. “No, he’s not. What did you talk to them about?”

  “You, how much I loved you and how I needed to win you back. Your mother and your father gave me their blessing.”

  I gave him a watery smile. “You told them you loved me?”

  “Yes,” he laughed. “Your mother informed me that you still loved me, so I agreed to her plan.”

  I had to look away while I tried to grasp what he had done. Nobody had cared or loved me enough to pull something like this off. “How long have you been here?”

  “I came last night and spent the evening with Pete, Amber, and your parents.”

  “Wow. You’re still here. My mother didn’t scare you away. You do love me,” I half joked.

  “I do. With all my heart.”

  33

  “Boy! I’m tired. Aren’t you tired, Babe?” Kevin asked while he stretched his arms over his head and faked a yawn.

  Anna snorted at his failed attempt to be subtle. It had been weeks since we made love and I knew he needed me as much as I needed him, but I was going to make him wait just out of spite.

  I patted Kevin’s arm and gave him a knowing grin. “You go ahead. I’ll come to bed in a little while.”

  “Don’t take too long.” He winked then gave me a kiss that was a sample of what I was in for. Damn him. I wouldn’t be able to hold out much longer.

  “My eyes!” Anna teased. “I think you two just made a baby.”

  I began choking and felt my face flame as I coughed up water I had been sipping.

  “You all right?” Kevin patted my back and handed me a napkin to cough into.

  “I am. Water. Wrong pipe,” I managed to choke out.

  They don’t know, I reminded myself.

  “Okay.” He gave me one more kiss then left. I stared at his retreating form feeling like a very lucky woman. He was sexy from every single angle. I might have even whimpered when he closed the bedroom door behind him. I cursed the point I needed to prove.

  “How long are you going to make him pay?” Anna teased.

  “Just a few more minutes. I’ve been sending him sexy texts all day, and I left some lingerie on the bed. He better be in physical pain when I get in there.”

  “Ouch!” Adam cringed. He looked to Anna and asked, “You wouldn’t do that to me would you?”

  “There’s no way I would send you sexy texts.” She held a straight face, but I could see the twinkle in her eyes.

  “But the other stuff?” he asked, but she didn’t answer.

  “Hmmm.” With his brows pinched he said, “I think I’ll head to bed.” Adam leaned down and gave a giggling Anna a sweet kiss on the cheek then made a more dignified exit than Kevin.

  When he was out of earshot, I asked, “You wouldn’t would you?”

  “No way. I put him through hell this year. If anyone deserves to be taught a lesson, it’s me.” Her eyes softened. “I love him, Kimmie.”

  “I know you do,” I grinned.

  “I never expected to feel this way about anyone, not after Ryan.”

  “But?” I asked.

  “It’s different with Adam. I’m not sure if I can explain it. It’s not about loving him more or less than Ryan, but differently.”

  “You and Ryan grew up together.” Anna nodded and drew in a shaky breath. “You experienced all the big things together. First love, sex, marriage, kids. You had a strong friendship before you were anything else.”

  “Yeah.” Her head bounced up and down then her brows turned in. “I was so afraid loving someone else would somehow replace my relationship with Ryan, but they’re so different from one another. It would’ve been impossible.” I knew what she meant before she even said it.

  Ryan had a lot of energy, and it took a lot of energy to be around him. He was the fun dad and left the discipline to Anna. She was often the mean parent, and though he would back her up, he was never directly involved in making the kids do chores or to keep the rules. That was Anna. But he adored her. Every single thing about her. He spoiled her, but he didn’t always understand her.

  “I will always love Ryan with all my heart, but…” She bit her lip and tried to find the words to explain herself. “Is it wrong that I’m happy that I’ll be able to spend the rest of my life with Adam? He makes me happy. He’s great with the kids. He’s helpful and the sexiest nerd I’ve ever met,” she said with a laugh. “And the partner I always wanted.”

  “Don’t ever feel guilty for finding happiness, Anna Banana. You’ve come a long way and deserve it.”

  “I’m not sure I do. I was a stupid woman for pushing him away, but I will never make that mistake again. I’m fortunate to be loved by him.”

  “Oh God. Can we cut out the serious discussion?” I joked.

  She pulled me out of my chair, turned me, so I faced the hallway toward the bedrooms then slapped my ass. “Go get your man, Tiger.” She laughed.

  When I reached the bedroom, I gripped the door handle and drew in a deep breath, releasing it slowly as I tried to calm my racing heart. I had been waiting weeks to be back in his arms…and bed.

  I walked in and locked the door, feeling anything but calm. He leaned up against the headboard wearing a T-shirt and sleep pants with a book resting on his lap. One glance at his sexy smile and heat pulled between my thighs. “All right. You met my family! Now take off all of your clothes.” The lust-filled look in his eyes only intensified when he watched me remove my tank top and bra, letting my breasts bounce with every step I took toward the bed.

  He gulped. Mission accomplished. When I realized he was still dressed, I stopped midway into the bedroom. I lifted my brow waiting for him to take his eyes off my breasts and see that I was waiting for him to get naked. It had taken a good thirty seconds before he caught on.

 
He dropped his book on the floor when he jumped off the bed and began undressing faster than I had ever seen. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. When he was fully undressed showing me everything I had missed, I unbutton my jean shorts then slid the zipper down. He took a step closer, but I shook my head no. I turned around swaying my hips side to side as I took my time slipping out of my shorts and panties.’

  His breaths quickened and before I could turn back around his arms gripped my hips pulling him against his body while he kissed my neck and shoulder.

  “Oh God,” I moaned. It took everything I had to shake off the lust. I needed to stay sane just a little longer. I turned in his arms placing my hands on his chest and nudged him toward the bed. “Get on the bed.” He gave me one more deep kiss before doing what I demanded. When he was seated exactly where I needed him, I crawled up the bed while licking my way up his body until I straddled his hips. “Kimberly,” he breathed. I knew he was close to losing it, but he could stand a little more teasing until I got what I needed.

  He gripped my hips when I grounded against him getting a moan out of him.

  “You are going to sex me in every single possible way to make up for holding out on me,” I demanded as I ran my hands down his chest. “But first,” I whispered as I leaned against him until my breasts pressed against his chest. “You are going to give me my ring back because you are going to marry me.”

  He gripped the back of my neck and pulled me into a kiss that felt desperate and needy and before I knew what was happening, he flipped us over until he was on top. His hands circled my wrists restraining them above my head while he took his own sweet time kissing me from my lips to my breasts. They were sensitive and achy from the pregnancy; when he licked one nipple, I about came off the bed. Wrapping my legs around him, I pulled my hands out of his grasp to pull him closer until I felt all of his weight.

  “Make love to me, Kevin.” His response was to give me a slow, languid kiss that made me feel more loved than I had ever felt.