Grimwood

by Nadia Shireen

  Dr Fairybeast snorted.

  ‘Of course,’ she said. ‘This will be simple. I will plug the phone into my satellite geolocator machine thing, press a few buttons and it will be done.’

  ‘Hooray!’ said Princess Buttons. ‘That was easy.’

  Dr Fairybeast lowered her spectacles. ‘But it will cost you,’ she said.

  ‘Anything!’ said Princess Buttons. ‘Anything at all!’

  Dr Fairybeast pattered over to a tiny filing cabinet inside a matchbox. She pulled out a piece of paper.

  ‘You must bring me all of the items on this list. Failure to do so will mean I will have to do unspeakably awful and evil things to you.’

  Princess Buttons looked at the list.

  ‘If you can search this city high and low, and get these sacred items to me by 5 p.m. sharp… then and only then can I begin the search for your… friend.’

  Princess Buttons looked at her watch.

  ‘There’s a corner shop just down the road, I’ll be back in a mo,’ she said.

  Princess Buttons and Denise went to the corner shop, and they bought:

  Peanut butter

  Carrot sticks

  Ideal Cheeses magazine

  A can of fizzy orange

  And Denise also bought:

  Some cheesy puffs

  Some of those fizzy sweets that look like dummies

  A packet of pocket tissues, because they always come in handy and you can never have too many.

  ‘Oh, that was quick,’ said Dr Fairybeast when they returned.

  She took Bin’s phone and connected it to the big bleepy computer thing.

  ‘What’s the name of your victim, er, I mean friend?’ asked Dr Fairybeast.

  ‘Nancy,’ growled Princess Buttons.

  ‘Ah, yes… there we are,’ said Dr Fairybeast.

  Nancy’s phone number popped up on the screen.

  ‘Do we phone her?’ asked Princess Buttons. ‘To see where she is?’

  ‘No, you idiot,’ said Dr Fairybeast. She typed lots of things into the computer, and the screen went fuzzy. It turned into a map. Then a little red dot appeared in the top left-hand corner.

  ‘There she is,’ said Dr Fairybeast.

  They zoomed in on the map.

  ‘Looks like they’re in the middle of the countryside,’ said Dr Fairybeast with a shudder.

  ‘Not for long,’ said Princess Buttons, rubbing her paws together. ‘I’m coming to get you, little foxes! And I want my tail back! Muahahahahahahahahhahaaaaaa!’

  ‘You’re not going to hurt these little foxes, are you?’ asked Dr Fairybeast. ‘Because if you were I’d feel awful. I may be evil, but I’m not that evil.’

  ‘Not at all!’ said Princess Buttons.

  ‘OK,’ said Dr Fairybeast, and she handed back Bin’s phone. ‘This phone is now a Fox Finder. Switch it on and it will show you the map, and also the location of this Nancy.’

  ‘Oh, one more thing,’ said Princess Buttons. ‘You don’t happen to have any kind of terrible device hanging around, do you? Something that could zap someone into thin air.’

  Dr Fairybeast had a think.

  ‘You’re definitely not going to hurt the little foxes, right?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh, absolutely not, no way,’ said Princess Buttons, licking her paw nonchalantly.

  Dr Fairybeast quietly pushed the arrow on the Fairybeast-o-meter all the way over to ‘Extra Evil!’.

  Then she scampered over to a very large cupboard and came back carrying a large contraption.

  It was a green metal helmet with three long antennae sticking out of it. She plonked it on the floor.

  ‘Behold! The Brain Zapper 3000!’ she cried.

  ‘Oooh!’ said Denise and Princess Buttons.

  ‘It’s an extremely powerful, dangerous machine,’ said Dr Fairybeast. ‘I’m very proud of it.’

  ‘How does it work?’ asked Princess Buttons.

  ‘You strap it to your head and when the time is right, press this red button. A powerful laser beam will shoot out of one of the antennae and fry your opponent like an egg!’

  ‘Oooooh!’ said Denise and Princess Buttons again.

  ‘But beware. It’s fully charged with forty-five million megavolts of electricity. So I’m afraid you can only use it three times.’

  ‘That’s fine,’ said Princess Buttons. ‘I only need to use it twice. How much is it?’

  Dr Fairybeast had a think.

  ‘It’ll cost you a lifetime supply of Speedy Chicken doughnuts.’

  ‘It’s a deal,’ said Princess Buttons.

  And the baddies danced around Dr Fairybeast’s secret lair, cackling and generally being terrible.

  ed was giddy with excitement. The Grimwood Players would be meeting soon for a final dress rehearsal before the Big Show later that night.

  ‘You’re going to come and watch me, aren’t you, sis?’ he said, bouncing up and down in the den.

  Nancy drained the last of her coffee.

  ‘Yeah,’ she grunted. ‘Got nothing better to do, have I?’

  He ran over to her and flung his arms around her middle.

  ‘Wish me luck, Nance!’

  ‘Break a paw, kid,’ she said and gently ruffled the fur between his ears.

  * * *

  After Ted had gone for rehearsals, Nancy went to her side of the den and removed the blanket she had thrown over the mysterious paw prints. She hadn’t told Ted about her discovery. She ripped out a blank sheet of paper from his notebook and found half a crayon. She traced the paw prints onto the paper. Then she ripped Princess Buttons’ tail from the wall and stuffed it into her jacket pocket. It suddenly felt risky leaving it just hanging on the wall, and something in Nancy’s gut was telling her that trouble was around the corner…

  No, it’s not trouble, actually, it’s just me, your friend and neighbour Eric B. Dynamite.

  Back at the rehearsal, Willow was talking to Ted about the special dance they were to perform at the very end of the Big Show.

  ‘You’ll be fine,’ she assured him. ‘Just do everything I do, but backwards.’

  They were practising their dance moves at the side of the stage, while various backstage crew hurried about with spotlights and microphones. Ingrid’s assistant, Tamara, was wearing sunglasses and shaking uncontrollably. There had been an awful lot for her to organize.

  Some rabbits had permanently vanished during the magic act. Emo Omar said he was ‘too emotional’ to recite any of his poetry. The badgers, meanwhile, were practising their singing, which was so terrible that even the nearby flowers started crying.

  ‘It’s going to be a disaster!’ wailed Tamara. ‘You two kids better not let me down.’

  Willow gave a salute. ‘I promise we will be fabulous,’ she said. ‘Ted and I have been practising every day.’

  Tamara waddled away, muttering to herself.

  Ted suddenly looked terrified.

  ‘Willow… what if I’m rubbish?’ he said.

  But Willow just shrugged. ‘Let’s have fun dancing around and don’t worry about anything else. Something crazy always happens. Last year someone set fire to a squirrel. Is your sister coming?’

  ‘Oh yes, she said she would,’ beamed Ted.

  ‘Really?’ said Willow. ‘I thought this kind of thing would be too cheerful for someone as miserable as her.’

  Ted frowned.

  ‘She just misses her mates and the Big City, I think,’ he said. ‘Maybe if… maybe if some people were a bit nicer to her, she wouldn’t be so grumpy.’

  ‘By “some people” do you mean me?’ asked Willow.

  ‘Yes.’ Ted grinned. ‘Please could you try? I think you and Nancy actually have a lot in common.’

  Willow frowned and stomped off for a coffee break, which proved Ted’s point entirely.

  * * *

  When Nancy arrived at Titus’s caravan, she found him wrapped in a tatty red dressing gown, rolling about on the floor.

  ‘What are
you doing?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh! Hello there. Just ironing my mayoral robe!’ said Titus, slowly getting up and dusting himself down.

  Nancy took the sheet of paper out of her pocket.

  ‘Who do these paw prints belong to?’ she asked.

  Titus trotted over to take a closer look. ‘Hmm… they don’t ring any bells. Where are they from?’

  ‘I found them in the den. Painted onto a lump of stone.’

  ‘Well, they belong to a pair of foxes, I’d say,’ he said.

  ‘You’ve been in Grimwood forever. You must know whose they are!’ said Nancy.

  Titus shrugged. ‘There are many creatures in Grimwood who I know, and many that I don’t. And there are some who I may have simply forgotten all about.’

  Nancy growled and shoved the paper back in her pocket.

  ‘Who do you want those paw prints to belong to, young Nancy?’ asked Titus gently.

  Nancy looked at the floor.

  ‘I can’t remember them,’ she said slowly.

  ‘Who?’

  ‘My parents. I can’t remember them.’

  Titus and Nancy sat in silence for some time.

  ‘Well. That’s a diffcult thing for young shoulders to carry,’ said Titus eventually. ‘But you carry it very well, Nancy. I don’t know who your parents were or where they are now. But I know they taught you well. They would be very proud of how you look after your brother.’

  Nancy wrapped her tail around herself and sighed.

  ‘I don’t know why, but I’ve just got this feeling,’ she said. ‘It feels like they’re near me. I didn’t have this feeling in the Big City, but I’ve got it here.’

  Titus smiled. ‘Young Ted has certainly made himself at home, hasn’t he? Does he miss the Big City too?’

  ‘I dunno. Not really.’

  ‘Did he have many friends there?’ asked Titus.

  ‘No,’ said Nancy, which was something she hadn’t really thought about before. ‘I suppose he didn’t.’

  ‘Now you must excuse me, Nancy,’ said Titus. ‘I have important mayoral stuff to do. See you at the show later!’

  Nancy grunted and stomped back off towards the den. She felt foolish for talking to Titus about the paw prints. And she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off.

  ‘I’m gonna have to go back to the city and sort that cat out myself,’ she vowed.

  There had been no word from Bin and Hedge so she would have to do it alone. At least she knew Ted would be safe with his new friends. She’d wait until after the show to tell him about her plan.

  Suddenly a voice called out from through the trees.

  ‘Nancy!’

  Nancy’s fur stood on end.

  ‘Nancy, where are you?’

  ‘Who are you?’ shouted Nancy. She didn’t recognize the voice, but she couldn’t just ignore it. She crept warily towards the sound, but the ground was covered with ivy and bracken that cracked and rustled as she moved.

  ‘I miss pavements,’ she grumbled. After a while the sharp twigs and wiry tendrils gave way to softer ground and Nancy breathed a sigh of relief.

  ‘Nancy!’ came the voice again. ‘I can’t see you!’

  ‘I’m coming!’ shouted Nancy.

  Grey clouds gathered and strong winds started to whip through the trees. As Nancy continued, the ground beneath her feet began to feel swampy and sticky. Her paws glooped and slooped their way slowly through the mud. The rain got heavier and Nancy started to shiver. Every time she put her foot down, it seemed to sink a little deeper.

  Gloop. Sloop. Ploop.

  She needed a stick, maybe… something to stop her from…

  Gloop. Ploop. Sloop.

  … getting stuck, because the mud was so sticky and…

  Gloop.

  As long as it didn’t go over her knees…

  Sloop.

  Oh no.

  Ploop.

  Nancy looked around. She was in the middle of a swamp and she was sinking. Fast.

  ‘AAAAAAAARGH!‘

  In the nick of time, Nancy managed to yank some ivy from the base of a fallen tree. She held on to it for dear life. After a few seconds, she tied it around her middle. But she knew that if it snapped, the swamp would suck her down like a pea in a plughole.

  ‘Nancy?’

  came the mysterious voice, which sounded closer than ever.

  ‘Nancy? Is that you? Ribbit.’

  Nancy looked up and saw that the voice belonged to… a frog. Who was perched on a log.

  ‘Who… who are you?’ she panted.

  ‘Oh, hullo! Me? Why, my name’s Gavin. Who are you? Ribbit.’

  ‘I’m Nancy! You… you were calling me?’

  The frog looked confused.

  ‘I don’t think I was,’ said Gavin.

  Then another frog hopped over, carrying two bags of shopping.

  ‘Sorry, love,’ it said. ‘The queues were an absolute nightmare.’

  ‘Nancy!’ cried Gavin. ‘You’ll never guess what? See that fox down there, close to drowning in that swamp? Her name’s Nancy too!’

  ‘No way!’ said Nancy the frog.

  ‘Way!’ said Gavin.

  ‘Could you help me, please?’ asked Nancy the fox.

  But Gavin and Nancy the frog had already hopped away, because it was their wedding anniversary and they were going to the cinema.

  Hmm, I wonder what Gavin and Nancy were going to see?

  ‘Help!‘ shouted Nancy. ‘HELP!‘

  But apart from the howl of the wind and the patter of the rain, Nancy was all alone.

  he storm raged over Grimwood. The efficient-looking beavers were zooming around covering up the lights and props for the Big Show. Ingrid was telling the performers stories of opening night disasters from her past, while Tamara was lying face down in a puddle.

  ‘Ooh, dear,’ said Ted, peeking from behind a curtain. ‘It’s not looking good, is it?’

  Willow giggled and did a backflip.

  ‘I love storms,’ she said. ‘It makes everything more dramatic.’

  * * *

  Nancy, who was still stuck in a massive swamp, definitely did not like storms. In the Big City, storms meant sneaking under cars and hiding out under bus stops. It didn’t mean shaking and shivering and being covered in gloopy mud.

  ‘HELP!‘ she yelled.

  It wasn’t a word she was very used to saying. But there was no way she was going to be able to get out of this pickle by herself. Then Nancy noticed a strange flash of light on the trees above her. She sniffed the air. Petrol! And was that low rumble coming from an engine? It must be the badgers. Phew! thought Nancy. She was about to call out again… when she heard a horribly familiar voice.

  ‘Is this it? Euw, what an absolute dump…’

  Nancy’s blood froze. It was Princess Buttons. And, by the sound of it, she wasn’t alone. She tried to crane her neck to see.

  ‘Yep, this is it,’ said another voice. ‘Well, as near as I can get the car. See the red flashing dot over there? That’s where Nancy is.’

  There was some murmuring and rustling. Nancy tried to work out how many cats there were, but it was impossible to tell. She heard a strange beeping sound and another cat’s voice, one she didn’t recognize.

  ‘It’s saying we need to go that way… towards that massive thing,’ said the cat.

  ‘It’s an electricity pylon,’ said someone else.

  ‘Who’s got the Brain Zapper 3000?’ barked Princess Buttons.

  Nancy gulped. The Brain Zapper 3000? That didn’t sound good.

  ‘It’s in the boot,’ said another voice.

  And then Nancy saw her. Princess Buttons had trotted over to the other side of the car.

  ‘Strap it to my head,’ ordered Princess Buttons. ‘I can’t wait to zap those foxes into smithereens!’

  Nancy gulped again, watching as one of the cats attached a large, green metal helmet to Princess Buttons’, small, angry head. Then Princess Buttons press
ed a switch on the side of the helmet. It began to hum and whirr, and little lights flashed at the ends of three metal antennae.

  ‘Three zaps!’ hooted Princess Buttons. ‘That should be enough to get rid of the pair of them.’

  Then something made her stop in her tracks. It was a poster nailed to a tree.

  ‘Hang on. What’s this?’ she said, tearing it off. ‘That’s him!’ she said. ‘The fox! The little blighter who bit off my tail!’

  ‘Oh yeah!’ said another voice. ‘He looks much smaller in real life, doesn’t he?’

  Nancy’s heart sank.

  ‘Right,’ said Princess Buttons, rubbing her paws together. ‘Here’s the plan. You lot head to this… “BIG SHOW”. Grab the fox. Then bring him to me.’

  ‘Where will you be?’ asked a voice Nancy didn’t recognize (it was Denise, though).

  Princess Buttons pointed to the Magic Tower.

  ‘I’ll be there. Bring him to me alive. I want his sister to watch me laser him to smithereens!’

  And she patted the Brain Zapper 3000.

  ‘Righto!’ said Denise, clapping her paws together. ‘You heard her, everyone. Let’s kidnap the cute little foxy.’

  It took every last bit of strength Nancy had to not shout ‘NO!’, but she knew she had to stay quiet. She heard the cats heading deeper into Grimwood, on their way to kidnap her brother. For the first time in her life, Nancy had no way to save him.

  * * *

  After what had felt like an age, the wind died down and the rain slowed to a drip. With no time to lose, the very efficient beavers started to uncover the stage for the Big Show.

  Tamara had pulled herself together, and Ingrid was fluttering around backstage giving last-minute advice to the performers.

  ‘Oh, doesn’t it all look wonderful, Frank?’ said Titus, clapping his hooves together as the audience started to take their seats.