Kept

by Cate Corvin

  Professor Spears reached around me to snag a pen off his desk and press it in my hand. I paused to look over the document before I signed, the pen as heavy as a brick and poised over the signature line.

  There was really no reason to read over the document this thoroughly, but his cock was throbbing under my ass, and I felt a hand on the dress’s zipper at the back of my neck. The sound of the metal teeth separating filled the silence and cool air touched my naked skin as the fabric parted.

  Warm fingertips dispelled the cold. He traced a line down my spine, his thumb lingering over each ridge of my vertebrae. A blot of ink formed on the signature line, and I lifted the pen with a shiver.

  Professor Spears didn’t urge me to sign. He shifted again, and I sat up straight, goosebumps washing over me when his warm breath touched the nape of my neck.

  His lips followed, pressing again the sensitive spot until I shivered again. His hand tightened on my hip, and I wasn’t feeling cold at all anymore. A drunken rush of adrenaline spilled through me, all sensation narrowing in on that point where his mouth was on my back.

  Teeth grazed skin as he worked his way to my shoulder and neck. If this is what it felt like when Superman’s icy exterior melted, I wanted more. Spears kissed like a man who wanted far more and was barely holding back. Just his mouth on my shoulder was almost unbearably pleasurable, like he’d discovered a whole brand-new erogenous zone on my body I’d never been aware of before.

  He kissed his way back to my neck, and slowly pushed me forward as he worked his way down my spine.

  At one point I realized I’d dropped the pen on the desk, and my hands were clenched around his thighs, holding me firmly seated on him. Plain Jane never would’ve confessed to burning up inside over sitting on a man she didn’t know at all, grinding against his cock and shivering every time he made a breathy, satisfied sound.

  He didn’t touch the parts of me that were dying to be touched, as though he knew I was aching for it and deliberately held back. A whole hallucination flashed through my brain: Spears pulling my dress up, unzipping his pants, and thrusting inside me, but of course that didn’t happen.

  When he kissed back up my spine, he left me shivering and craving. “Sign the paper, Jane.”

  My entire arm was covered in goosebumps when I picked up the pen and shakily scrawled my name across the line. “Done.”

  The warmth of Spears’ hands remained even when I deliberately put down the pen.

  “Good girl.” His fingers trailed over my spine and stopped at my hips without any sign of moving further, leaving me feeling like I’d just barely touched something I desperately wanted and felt cheated of.

  If women shouldn’t be judged for one-night stands, no one could judge me for the rush of heat I felt when Spears thawed and showed me the fire he was capable of. Twisted Jane didn’t give a damn if she didn’t know him at all.

  Plain Jane was in firm agreement, for once.

  I moved to get up, but he pulled me back down. “I didn’t say you could get up yet, Pet.”

  A thrill of excitement flared to life in my abdomen when his hands moved again, sliding down over my legs and then to the inside of my thighs.

  They trailed upwards, pushing the hem of my dress centimeter by painful centimeter. He stopped several inches short of the part of me that was aching for his touch and I felt his lips against my back again.

  As pleasurable as it felt with his warm hands between my legs, I wanted so much more. The mouse inside me squeaked.

  You’re only here because he took pictures without your knowledge, Jane.

  Yeah, sure, but would I be here in such a delicious position if he hadn’t? No one will know.

  You’ll know, Jane. This is blackmail.

  Spears’ hands didn’t move, and the air was taut like he was waiting for something.

  He hadn’t given me permission to get up, and he hadn’t rescinded permission to move. I braced my hands on the arms of the chair and pushed my hips forward to meet his hand. His fingers grazed the already-wet crotch of my panties and I felt his silent exhale against my back.

  He moved suddenly, hooking his legs around my calves and spreading me apart on his lap. I couldn’t hold back the gasp that escaped when he finally dipped under the edge of my panties, pushing them aside and gliding his fingers over my wet pussy. His other hand slid inside my dress and snaked around me to cup a breast, thumbing an already-hard nipple, pinching and teasing.

  It was impossible to resist what my body wanted at that moment, so I let my back arch and my head fall back on his shoulder. Spears kissed my exposed neck, then nibbled, biting down on the vulnerable flesh. The slightest twinge of pain speared right through my abdomen to my clit, and my hips rolled against his hand.

  You’re seriously riding your blackmailer’s hand, Jane?

  I pushed the last vestiges of the mouse into the cage in the back of my mind, letting myself enjoy this one twisted moment without an ounce of guilt.

  Spears pushed a finger inside me, curling it forward and grazing a sensitive spot that almost made me fall right off his lap. His arm tightened around my chest, holding me firmly in place while he stroked that area that must be the G-spot I’d heard about.

  So that was what it felt like.

  The next time he slid a second finger in, his palm grinding against my clit. The pressure building in my lower belly threatened to become overwhelming. I closed my eyes, breath ragged, and focused on nothing but the feeling of Spears’ cock throbbing against my ass, the relentless pressure of his palm against the most sensitive part of me, the slide of his teeth over my neck and shoulder.

  My legs shook when I came, grinding desperately onto his fingers and making noises that could probably be heard from the hall. He didn’t release me until I wasn’t shaking from pleasure, but from the almost-pain of too much stimulation.

  I couldn’t do much besides pant for breath, draped over him and feeling like I was made of jelly. Spears adjusted my clothes so they were covering me again, then lifted his hand to his mouth and sucked his fingers before kissing my neck again.

  I’d never done something so impersonal before, without kissing each other’s lips or even looking each other in the eye, but somehow it was even more satisfying than the times I’d fumbled around face-to-face with my Northeast ex. It was half the thrill of a dirty secret, half the enjoyment of being in the hands of someone who could mold me like putty.

  I wasn’t going to make the mistake of trying to kiss Spears after this, even though he seemed perfectly content to let me be a boneless ragdoll on his lap. My cheekbones were burning, but I slowly sat up, feeling wobbly.

  The next thing I knew, his hand was buried in my hair and he was pulling me back down against him. “Delicious,” he whispered in my ear before releasing me again.

  Delicious joined beautiful in the lexicon of words that didn’t apply to Jane Fawkes but had been used to describe her anyways. I already knew I’d be tossing and turning tonight, dissecting every second that had led me here and what could possibly inspire him to use that word.

  Spears zipped up my dress, and this time I didn’t wait for him to give me permission to get up. The clock showed that I’d been in here for far longer than I’d intended to be, and I’d be late for my shift at the library if I didn’t get moving, no matter how wrung-out and limp I felt now.

  “Do I have permission to leave, Professor Spears?” I asked, but instead coming out biting and acerbic, it was breathless.

  Spears rose from his chair and escorted me through the office and art room himself, opening the door to the main Hall.

  Like I looked after almost every time I saw Rhett, I was flushed, rumpled, and my hair had come loose from its bun. Whatever game Spears was playing, he seemed to like it dangerous, because if anyone saw us there was no doubt what had transpired in his office.

  “Off you go, Pet,” he murmured, dipping his head down to kiss my throat right in plain view of the door. That forbidden thrill was
back in full force, and I exhaled a rough sigh at the feeling of his lips on me. “I’ll be seeing you soon enough.”

  I glanced up at his face before I walked out, catching an expression I hadn’t seen on him before. Satisfaction, and a deep, unsated hunger.

  A shiver ran down my spine as I ducked into the hall, clutching my messenger bag and walking with quick steps. He had no way of knowing, but somehow, I think he knew all the same.

  I’d be counting the seconds until soon came.

  Chapter Eight

  I shoved a cart of books into a dark corner of the library and almost jumped out of my skin at the sight of a figure waiting there.

  Sean had taken up residence at one of the little hidden tables and spread what looked like the entire contents of his bag across the surface. Two steaming cups of coffee perched on top of a pile of textbooks, and I itched to remove the books from the danger, all too aware of my own mishaps with books and coffee.

  “Hey, Jane.” As soon as I stepped into the aisle he spun around in his seat, a big smile plastered across his face. I let the cart roll to a halt and took a breath to steady my racing heart. It was six in the evening, far past the time that most students and faculty went home. I hadn’t seen hide nor hair on my Three Demons since Spears had brought me into his office earlier, and Mrs. Clarke had already left. In the silence of the library, I’d thought I was completely alone.

  “Hi, Sean. You’re here late.”

  He beamed up at me, and I managed a weak smile in return. Maybe if I said nothing interesting, he’d get bored and wouldn’t try to trap me into conversation.

  “I’m already getting started on my thesis project. This time of night is my favorite, nobody’s around… well, except you, but I’m… actually really happy about that.”

  The universe couldn’t have given me a clearer sign that I was fucked in the head. Here was a nice, decent guy well within my league, one who was actually happy to see me, and I couldn’t wait to brush him off and get back to my demons.

  Demons I had zero long-term chances with and who put my scholarship in danger every time they found me.

  I stared at Sean hard, willing myself to see something appealing in him, but there was nothing. Whereas I felt excitement twine through me anytime I crossed paths with the professors, with Sean I felt nothing but a void of disinterest, and vague happiness that at least he was my friend here.

  “Oh,” I said, looking down. The last thing I wanted was for him to take my stare as interest. “Well, I’m always here, y’know. I work here.” Not commenting on how it made him happy seemed best. “I hope your thesis goes well.”

  I gripped the cart and pushed again. I could always come back later to shelve these books after Sean was gone, but he stood up and followed me around the corner.

  A prickle of foreboding crept up and down my back. “Do you need help with something?”

  Sean leaned against a bookshelf, his hands stuffed in his pockets. I couldn’t help but think he looked awkward doing it, while Rhett made it look effortless. “Jane, I’m worried about you. Sometimes you show up to class looking like you just ran a marathon, and I was just wondering if there’s… if there’s something you want to tell me.”

  I want to tell you to go away, I thought, but I didn’t say it aloud. My heart had picked up its pace again, a frantic gallop behind my ribs.

  What if Sean had seen?

  Besides that, his hesitance irritated me for some reason. I couldn’t help but compare him, how he hesitated through his sentences while the demons issued orders like they’d been born to do it. It wasn’t fair to compare Sean to them, but there it was.

  He might be in my league, but I’d rather be lonely forever now that I’d tasted forbidden fruit than settle for something less exciting.

  “There’s nothing to tell.” I flashed him a tight smile. “I just get warm easily. We do a lot of walking here.”

  Sean’s eyes bored into me. They were a strangely nondescript color, somewhere between light brown and dusty gray, the tones all muddled together. “Doesn’t explain why your lips are always puffy or your hair messed up.”

  I was pretty sure my heart was threatening to explode right through my shirt to flop on the cart. I swallowed reflexively, not allowing my fingers to tighten down on the cart handle like they wanted to.

  “I didn’t want to mention it because it’s a little embarrassing, but I have really bad allergies.” I didn’t have allergies to anything but ragweed. “I ate something the other week that set off a reaction. That’s why my lips were puffy. As for my hair, I have a habit of combing my fingers through it when I’m reading. That’s all that’s going on with me, Sean. It’s nothing to worry about.”

  My blatant lie must’ve been passable, because Sean’s cheekbones flushed pink. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry, I thought…”

  He trailed off, because there wasn’t really anything he could say. If he’d thought I was kissing other guys, it was none of his damn business, and he knew it. We stared at each other in silence, and I finally took pity on him.

  “It’s no big deal, it’s just not something I mention much. Look, I really need to get these books shelved, so I’ll talk to you later, okay?” It hurt my face to smile at him again. I just wanted to disappear.

  I’d started pushing the cart again when a hand fell on my arm and stopped me. A tinge of disquiet joined my irritation when Sean loomed over me. He was only a few inches taller, but he was bulky, and there was something in the way he pressed forward that reminded me of his proprietary, pushy questions.

  “Just go out with me on one coffee date, Jane,” he spilled. His hand tightened on my arm. “Just give it one chance. We’re both SCS students here, and people like us need to stick together. Besides, if I had to be absolutely honest, I think you’re the prettiest girl on this campus.”

  The pink spots on his cheekbones had become flags of burning red.

  “Coffee’s on me,” he added, stepping so close I felt his clothes brush my hip. “Would one date really hurt?”

  I just stared up at him, eyes wide. Cornering a girl in a dark library after hours was definitely not the way I wanted to be asked out, by him or anyone else. The way he leaned into me like he could make me say yes by sheer force of will turned my stomach.

  I released the cart, grabbed his hand, and took it off my arm, taking a step back from him as I did. My heart was thundering for a different reason now, a tinkle of alarm bells sounding in my skull.

  “I’m going to make this clear, Sean. I have no interest at all in a date, now or at any other time. I’m focused on school, my mom, and getting through this. If I gave off the wrong impression, that’s on me, but you’re a friend to me and it’s going to stay that way.”

  Mousy Jane cheered me on from inside. The last time I’d turned down a date I’d peppered a thousand ‘I’m sorries’ in my rejection, but I hadn’t said sorry once here. And that felt damn good, because Sean had no business at all getting in my personal space like that.

  I thought I saw hot rage flash behind his eyes before he collected himself, the spots on his cheekbones redder than ever. He struggled with words for a moment, and I had the feeling he was restraining himself from pushing the issue. I just folded my arms across my chest, refusing to be cowed on this.

  “That’s fine, Jane, that’s cool.” He gave me a forced grin that looked more like a death rictus, backing away a few steps. “I’ll see you tomorrow. And… I know what you said, but if you ever change your mind, I’m here.”

  I resisted the urge to snap at him. There was never going to be a change of mind now that I’d put my foot down.

  I watched Sean sweep everything into his bag, nearly knocking the coffees over in the process. He strode behind the shelves, his gait jerkier than usual, and dumped the two coffees in the trash, spraying droplets over the side of the circulation desk before he rummaged around to unload his bag in the drop slot.

  I lost sight of him and held back a sigh until I heard the
slight creak of the Tiffany doors opening and closing behind him. The coffee was one more mess I had to clean up, but at least he was gone.

  The urge to go lock the library doors ahead of time was almost irresistible, just to be absolutely sure he wouldn’t come back in, but I forced myself to shelve the rest of the cart at top-speed.

  It took me until nearly eight, and when I returned the empty cart to the circulation desk, I rummaged in the bag I’d left on the desk for a bottle of water and my Revlon Strawberry Pink lipstick. A frown grew on my face as I searched every pocket in my bag, but there was no sign of the lipstick. I distinctly remembered tossing it in my bag that morning, just because it paid to be prepared, especially where the Demons were concerned.

  The door squeaked again and I jerked, looking up like a deer in headlights. It wasn’t until I saw Rhett’s familiar form that I relaxed and realized that not once during my awkward rejection of Sean did one of the rules of the Three Demons pop into my head: that I could touch no man besides themselves.

  It was almost like it wasn’t a rule at all. There was no one else I could fathom touching now.

  Rhett held a rolled-up magazine, and he rested it on the circulation desk, leaning forward on his hands. “Hello, Pet.”

  Since he’d stared me down with cold eyes earlier and somehow managed to hurt my feelings, and I was still geared up from turning down Sean, I had a question I couldn’t hold back on. “What do you get out of this, Rhett? Besides the obvious. What’s really in it for you to blackmail someone who willingly fucked you?”

  If he’d smiled, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I couldn’t bring myself to slap him, but it would’ve felt like a slap in my own face, my anger just an amusement for him.

  He didn’t smile, though. There was gravity in those cool blue eyes. “You are what’s in it for me.”

  “You already had me before the blackmailing,” I hissed.

  “Did I? It’s been years since we’ve seen each other, Jane. What would’ve stopped you from going straight to the board and telling them one of the faculty came onto you?”