Until the End

by Juno Rushdan

  Sanborn stiffened. “No. I’ll take care of it. Get going.”

  * * *

  This was the last headache Sanborn needed. He still had to deal with Castle, but apparently Doc had to come first. His thoughts raced as he crept around the perimeter of the abandoned warehouse. He had Doc in his sights.

  She abandoned the idea of coming closer to the building and got back into her car but didn’t drive off, simply sat there. Probably debating her next move.

  How could she be so reckless? And why did she have to be so darn resourceful?

  With quick, deft steps, not making a sound, Sanborn snuck up behind her vehicle, skulked around the side, and sprang up like a jungle cat beside her car window.

  “Oh my God!” Doc jumped, her eyes flaring wide with panic. She rolled down the window. “You scared the crap out of me. I almost had a heart attack.”

  Maybe she had learned her lesson, but the way his luck had been these days, that would be too easy.

  “What are you doing here?” And how had she found him?

  She squeezed her eyes shut. Her hand stayed pressed to her chest like she was trying to regulate her breathing. “I know you need your privacy and space to work, but I let my imagination get the best of me. I had to make sure you weren’t at some other woman’s apartment or having a meeting in a hotel.” She buried her face in her hands as if ashamed. “Don’t be angry. I know how stupid and jealous I sound, but…”

  Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she sobbed.

  He went around to the passenger’s side and tried the door. She hadn’t even locked it! Sanborn climbed inside. “I told you I was working.”

  “I know.” She grabbed a tissue, dabbed her pink eyes, and sniffled. “I had to be sure you were telling me the truth. Something about what you said bothered me and I couldn’t let it go. I had to find out for certain.”

  “I was meeting a colleague from the CIA here. It’s dangerous for you to follow me,” he said. “I never want you in harm’s way. I’m working on something very hush-hush for them that no one can know anything about. You shouldn’t be out here. How did you find me?”

  “I lied to Willow and got her to help me.” Tears spilled from her eyes, guilt etched on her face. “Please don’t be angry. I’m sorry for not trusting you.”

  “When have you ever seen me angry?” He was a paragon of pristine control. Always.

  She thought for a moment, then shook her head. “Never. I guess what I’m saying is, give me another chance. Don’t break up with me. I’ll do better. I’ll be better.”

  Sanborn stared at Doc and saw it. The years of neglect and lies and abuse and self-doubt, the trauma that he himself was feeding in a flawed attempt to protect her.

  Until he found a way to both make Doc feel secure in their relationship and keep her safe through the end of this operation, this wouldn’t be the last time she’d check on him. Or the last time she’d endanger herself. He had to remove her from the playing field by any means necessary.

  “I love you,” he said, taking her hands in his. “Just as you are.”

  Her jaw unhinged. Those long, beautiful lashes, wet with tears, fluttered. “Say that again.”

  “I love you, darling. Marry me.”

  Air left her mouth in a rush as she stared at him, now unblinking. Her gaze pinned him.

  “Are you sure?” she asked.

  “You once told me that you’ve always wanted to go to Italy. Let’s get married there. This weekend.”

  She swallowed hard, her beautiful head probably spinning in circles of disbelief. Ah, he had a knack for reading people and picking the right curveball to throw.

  “Go home, find your passport, and pack a bag.” He gave her a warm smile, no flash of teeth, steady eye contact, the perfect balance. “I want you on a flight tonight. I’ll arrange your ticket and the hotel.”

  “But the mission, the current operation. What if it’s not over by the weekend?”

  “I’ve been doing this a long time. I’ve got a gut feeling. Don’t worry about that. What city? In Italy?”

  She blinked as if in a daze. “Um. Rome. I always wanted to go to Rome.”

  “Buy a dress there, make all the preparations. I’ll fly out on Friday and we’ll buy our rings there. We’ll exchange vows on Saturday.”

  “I don’t understand.” She shook her head. “This is all so sudden.”

  “Do you love me?”

  He realized she hadn’t said it back, but a whirlwind romance with a man she could count on was one of her deepest, secret desires. He could tell from the little things she’d said. His dear, sweet Doc wanted to star in her own fairy tale.

  He’d give her one, only he’d rather it not be a Grimm Brothers’ tale. If she wanted a happily-ever-after with doves being released, the exchange of vows and rings, and yada, yada, yada, then she needed to get out of town for a while and out of his way.

  “Yes,” she finally said, but it sounded like a question that wanted to be an answer, falling woefully short.

  He’d have to take it. This was the best way to remove her from the playing field and protect her at the same time.

  “Marry me. Once this mission is done, I can bring Knox home.” His second-in-command had been gone for months while Sanborn set his plan into motion. Knox was too close. He would’ve connected dots the others missed, spotted holes the others didn’t catch, seen the web Sanborn wove, and recognized him as the spider spinning the threads. He also would’ve understood his deep-seated motives. But Knox also would’ve risked his life to stop him, and Sanborn couldn’t allow that. Knox and Castle, they were the future. “I’ll retire then, let him run the Gray Box with Castle as his second.”

  Sanborn would finally be able to wash his hands of this nasty business. He’d spend the rest of his life making Doc happy, enjoying a second chance at love. He deserved his own version of happily-ever-after too.

  “You’d retire for me?”

  “I would.”

  She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him in a death grip. “You wouldn’t resent me for it?”

  “Never.” He took her arms, pulled her back a bit to see her bluebonnet eyes. “You still haven’t given me an answer.”

  “Yes. Yes, of course I’ll marry you.”

  He hugged her tightly, to hide his face and spare himself a moment of faking a look of elation. This hiccup with her and her blatant lack of trust—not to mention how she’d violated his explicit rules—vexed him, but he was also relieved he’d found a way to spare her from any ugliness.

  And the silver lining—he’d have this beautiful young woman as his wife. A well-deserved reward for all his hard work.

  39

  Reston, Virginia

  Thursday, 12:00 p.m. EDT

  For two days, Castle had hunkered down at his place with Kit. Once Sanborn gave him the all clear, they’d open the safety deposit box and lock Ever Shield away. In the meantime, he wouldn’t risk taking her out on any more excursions.

  They’d cooked, ordered takeout, talked for hours, bantering back and forth. Fucked in every room. Still, he hungered for more. More of her addictive warmth and her infectious smiles, more of her witty repartee and indomitable spirit, more of her challenging him and pushing his buttons, more of how she gave herself to him entirely, from the way she kissed and made love to baring her vulnerability without fear.

  He was a goner for her.

  “Castle,” Kit said as they tumbled onto the bed. “You never answered me when I asked what you would’ve done if Sanborn had called your bluff. Would you have really resigned?”

  He hadn’t responded before because he hadn’t known the answer, but now he did. “Yes.”

  “I thought you needed this job—to feel something, to give you a purpose.”

  “You make me feel a whole hell of a lot.” He pulled
his T-shirt off her and pushed her down. “And if I’d been forced to quit, then it would’ve been a sign that it was time for me to find a new purpose.” Unhooking her bra, he kissed her shoulder. “One that didn’t try to suck everything out of me.”

  “Is that what I am for you? A substitute high from the job?”

  Try a safer, astronomically better high. More potent and enduring than anything. “Does that bother you?”

  “Only if you trade me in for a different rush.”

  “No need to worry on that score.”

  He inched down her body, licking a nipple into his mouth, kissing her taut belly. Diving between her thighs, he spread her wide and took in the beautiful sight of her rosy-pink flesh. Her particular scent, unique to her, was a total gut punch to his system.

  She moaned, clutching his head as she let him do whatever he pleased with his fingers and mouth. He enjoyed teasing, working her until the driving desire to be inside her beat like a drum through him.

  Rising to his knees, he unfastened his pants as she grabbed the box of condoms from the nightstand.

  “These expired,” she said with a chuckle. “A year ago.”

  “I told you it’d been a while.” Only he hadn’t realized it had been that long. “But shit. Those start to break down and become less effective. I’m sorry.”

  She lifted onto her elbows. “We don’t have to worry about pregnancy. I have a contraceptive implant. But, um, do we need to worry about anything else?”

  He understood what she was alluding to. “Not on my end.”

  “Mine either.” She waggled her eyebrows.

  “Want to skip it?” God, please say yes. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been comfortable enough with a woman to risk going bareback.

  “Yeah, but I don’t want you to think that I sleep around without a condom. I don’t. Actually, I’ve never had sex without one.” She made it sound monumental.

  He guessed it kind of was, to be so intimate with a person that there was nothing between the two of you.

  “This isn’t just sex for me,” she added. “I don’t want this, us, to end when your mission is over. I think I’m…falling…in love with you.” Kit did a little lip nibble.

  His heart sank at the lie. He was completely gone for this woman and had already fallen in deep. Not once had he considered that she might not feel the same.

  “That’s not true,” she said. “I don’t think. I know. I’m in love with you, Castle. I realize it’s fast. Too fast for a rational, sane person. I don’t expect you to say it back because I said it. Or to feel what I feel. I just needed you to know.”

  Smiling, he cupped her face in his hands and crushed his mouth to hers.

  Kit kissed him back, meeting his tongue with her own eagerness, pouring her whole heart into it. She explored his mouth greedily, ravenously, like a woman starved.

  Drowning in her, kissing her hard and fierce, he didn’t want it to end either. This was the beginning and he wanted to experience the journey with her. The destination didn’t even matter, only being with her did.

  She took him in her hands, guiding him between her spread thighs where he longed to be, and squeezed his cock. All the blood deserted his head and double-timed to his groin.

  He rammed home, filling her in one smooth, sweet thrust. “Fuck,” he groaned. She felt so damn good, so slick and warm.

  Her fingers dug deliciously into his backside. She writhed and bucked her hips, taking all of him.

  His breath was nothing but ragged panting, his control lost as he moved. The pleasure tore through him. He took her harder, deeper, faster, but it didn’t satisfy his appetite.

  Her hands and her mouth were all over him, everywhere, caressing him, clutching him, loving him, urging him on as though she couldn’t get enough either.

  Knowing she craved him the way he did her was like having the world in the palm of his hand. Made him feel invincible. Before long, her tight heat was constricting his shaft, ripples of sensation moving through him, working him to the edge along with her.

  “Castle.” She came around him, quivering, his name on her lips.

  The ache inside him swelled. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. His own release was immediate and intense.

  Collapsing, heavy and loose, he lay in a tangle of her arms and legs.

  He’d never had sex—made love—with such a desperate intensity. The two of them joined physically and on a deeper level was the most powerful thing he’d ever experienced.

  “Are you all right?” he asked. “I was kind of aggressive. Too much?”

  She buried her face in the warm curve of his neck, kissed his jugular, and then nipped him. “I liked it. Next time, I want you to talk dirty to me, really filthy, in the same tone you used on Cutter. All bossy and demanding.”

  He bit back a laugh. “Sure, but you’d tell me if you didn’t enjoy something, right?”

  She climbed on top of him. “Have you ever known me to hold back my opinion?”

  “No, ma’am.” Their bodies were flush shoulder to pelvis, but it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t stop touching her, running his hands over her body. “It has been a brutally fast, crazy ride for us.” He tightened his arm around her. “I love you too, Kit-Kat.”

  Her grin hit him bright and hot, her eyes glittering with happiness—so beautiful his heart ached. No other moment in his life rivalled this one.

  “Good,” she said, socking him playfully in the gut. “I was starting to wonder.”

  “Well, I’ve got to keep you on your toes. I can’t have you getting bored with me.” He nuzzled her cheek.

  “I find that highly unlikely.” She kissed him with all the heat from the fire she showed him every day. “I’m going to take a shower.” She gave his mouth a quick peck, climbed out of bed, and padded into the bathroom.

  His skin protested at the loss of her softness and heat. Echoes of the rush hummed in his body, stirring along his nerves, buzzing across his skin.

  He considered joining her in the shower, but they’d only end up fused together again. She surely needed a break and he needed a few more minutes to recover.

  The doorbell rang.

  Castle grabbed a towel, wiped off, and threw on his clothes. On the way down the steps, he fastened his belt and tugged on his boots.

  He looked through the peephole. It was Sanborn.

  Castle stood there, paralyzed with confusion.

  Why was the director here, in person? Why hadn’t he called instead?

  Unless it was to check up on the status of things with Kit. See if the situation was indeed professional and tear Castle a new one once he discovered firsthand that it wasn’t.

  He spun on his heel and glanced around.

  His place was a mess. Red SOLO cups and chopsticks on the coffee table, the hard drive beside the laptop on the floor, Kit’s thong dangling from the switch of a living room lamp. Throw pillows had been literally tossed around—one still on the dining room table where he’d fucked Kit and didn’t want her to hurt her head.

  Shit.

  The doorbell rang again, followed by a knock. “Castle, open up. I don’t have all day.”

  “One minute.” He darted around, straightening up, stuffing the underwear under a cushion, collecting plastic cups and tossing them in the trash, shoving the drives and laptop into her satchel. Then he opened the door, his heart racing. “Hi, sir. This is a surprise.”

  Castle stepped back, letting his boss in.

  Sanborn adjusted the strap of his leather messenger bag on his shoulder and offered Castle a gift-wrapped box from Olivia Macarons. “Congratulations. You retrieved the hard drives and the team is in Potomac, Maryland, as we speak. They recovered an anthrax bioweapon before it could go off and contaminate a water supply plant.”

  “That’s great.” Castle took the box an
d went to the kitchen, with Sanborn following behind. “Did they apprehend Bravo and his team?”

  “Yes. Crisis adverted and all threats neutralized.” Sanborn sat on a stool at the counter and set his bag down. “Where is Ms. Westcott?”

  “She’s upstairs.” Castle scrubbed a hand over his head and went to the coffeepot. “Want a cup?”

  “No, thank you.”

  Castle filled a mug with piping hot java and sat across from the chief.

  “You usually inhale half the box right away.” Sanborn pushed the macarons in front of him. “You earned them. And I delivered them myself as an olive branch. My way of showing you how much I value you as a part of my team.” Sanborn untied the bow and flipped off the lid. “They have some delicious seasonal flavors that I’m sure will go great with your coffee.”

  Not only had Castle’s bluff with Sanborn worked, but the chief was worried about losing him. So much that he had hand-delivered the macarons.

  The candy-colored cookies were a tempting sight. Pistachio was his usual favorite, but he spotted the limited-edition butterbeer flavor. He picked up the tricolored cookie and popped it in his watering mouth. The luscious combination of creamy butterscotch caramel and the fluffy meringue shells delighted his taste buds.

  By the fourth cookie, he noticed an underlying flavor or spice he didn’t recognize that added a subtle tang.

  A creak came from the stairs. Castle knew at once that it was Kit, but he prayed Sanborn hadn’t caught the faint sound.

  “Ms. Westcott, I’m here to check in on you,” Sanborn said.

  “I’m still getting dressed,” she called from the stairs. “I was looking for, um, my shoes. I’ll be down in a minute.”

  “You were already on your way down. Clearly, however you’re dressed you deemed appropriate for Castle. I’m sure I won’t be offended. Please join us. I insist.”

  Kit crept down the rest of the stairs and around the corner, wearing nothing but one of Castle’s big T-shirts that fell to her midthigh.