Book of the Lost: AAV-07d25-11: (A reverse harem, post-pandemic, slow-burn romance) (The JAK2 Cycle, Book 3)

by V. E. S. Pullen

  “Don’t project your nerd shit on me!” He scowled, narrowing his eyes and glaring at me. “You’ve been living in a hot cocoa paradise for years, just drinking it whenever you wanted like— like— like it’s not rare and priceless and— and— RARE!”

  “It’s not. I drank it all the time,” I said flatly. “So much that I’m kinda sick of it. But I’ll take a cup anyway.”

  “You—! YOU—!”

  “Yes? Did you have something to say, dragon?”

  “YOU’RE A MONSTER!”

  “That may be, but I’m about to be a monster drinking cocoa.”

  “I hate you right now.”

  “No, you don’t. You loooove me, and you wish you could kiss me,” I taunted him in a sing-song voice, then shrugged. “And maybe choke me out a little, but mostly kiss me, even though I’ve got morning breath. Admit it.”

  “It’s true.” He slumped down, sitting back on his heels, and bowed his head. “I’m weak, and whipped, and I’d give you all my cocoa just to see you smile. This is what you’ve reduced me to.”

  I curled towards him, contorting so I could rest my head on his knee, looking up at him under the curtain of his hair. He appeared quite dejected, but the corner of his mouth was twitching. “If it helps at all, you’ve got me so twisted up that I’m not even enjoying torturing you, and ruthlessly exploiting the weaknesses of people who fuck with me is usually one of my greatest pleasures. I mean, I’ll still drink your cocoa because there’s a precedent to be set here, but I’m not going to enjoy it. I’ll probably have to force it down while picturing a nice cup of chai tea.”

  “That doesn’t help at all.”

  “How about a blowjob? Would that help?”

  “That would help immensely. That would heal all kinds of wounds— stuff going back to childhood—”

  “Umm, I’m still sitting here,” Tai interrupted, mostly amused but also a little disturbed, like I was going to have Luka whip it out in front of everyone and just go to town right this second.

  “I’m aware,” I said, patting his knee. “Now quit interrupting negotiations, because I’m starting to understand what they mean about relationships being about compromise.”

  “I don’t think they mean any of this. Yeah, pretty sure everything that just happened here would be a red flag to any professional—”

  “You’re a red flag!”

  “Good one, sunshine.”

  I sighed, mightily, and sat up, then had to cope with the enormous yawn that took over my entire body. I blinked, smacking my lips, and looked around. Seven other people were within five feet or so, listening to every word with rapt attention. “Morning!” I chirped, waving at them.

  Sasha winked at me and took another bite of his granola bar. Sev was grinning widely, while Spider folded his lips in trying to resist the smile that was fighting to get out. Jason Callis frowned at Luka, then smiled softly at me. Ryan Callis narrowed his eyes and shook his head like I was offending him, so I slowly, methodically, shot him the bird. Gemma and Adriana were just giggling and whispering back and forth, giving me approving nods.

  Everyone was awake, alert, and ready to get moving. I fucking hated them, every single one.

  “No you don’t,” Tai muttered.

  “No, I don’t,” I sighed, really kinda wishing for just a second that the Callises and doublebitch twins didn’t have to leave.

  “Aww, I knew you loved us!” Gemma crowed, pointing at me. “You fucking love us!”

  “Tolerate, at best,” I called out, closing my eyes and falling over to crash into Tai. “Can’t I just sleep for another six hours or so then catch up with you guys later? I can totally do that, I’ll just meet you wherever.”

  The light was blocked and I tilted my head and opened my eyes, finding Sev standing in front of me with a bottle of water and something in his hand. “Ibuprofen,” he said, handing me three pills and the bottle. “It’ll help.”

  “So will the cocoa I don’t seem to have yet,” I mumbled pointedly, swallowing down the medicine with a gulp of water. Luka groaned and rose up from the hay so fluidly, so sinuously, that I was reminded again of a dragon. I grabbed his knee and stopped him. “I’m joking, Smaug. I’m not going to drink your cocoa, but I seriously would do dirty, dirty things for a cup of tea. There are bags in the front pocket of my pack.”

  “Teabagging?” He smirked.

  “Yeah, tea bags— oh. I see what you did there. Is that what you want? I mean, it seems like it would be awkward and not nearly as much fun as deep-throating or something, but sure—”

  “I’m going to go make you some tea before all this deep-throating and blowjob talk escalates and we all have to adjust our boners—”

  “And lady-boners!” Gemma piped up.

  “—because you’re core-fucking-evil that way.”

  “Relationship goals, my friend,” I giggled, and then was quickly swearing as I tried — awkwardly in the slippery hay — to extricate myself from this sleeping bag. Eventually Tai stopped watching the horror show and actually helped me, but no one else did because they’re all— “Assholes! Every one of you!”

  “Sorry, Az,” Jason chuckled, “but if I’m leaving you for forever, at least I’ll be less likely to pine for what could’ve been now that I can picture whatever the fuck you were just trying to do there, because seriously? That was not a good look for you.”

  “Like a baby deer having a seizure,” Ryan agreed, shaking his head. “All flailing limbs and pathetic little cries for help — I think you even blew some spit bubbles. Yep, total boner-killer.”

  “If you’d made that move the first day we met? Things would be really different right now,” Sasha made a face and looked away. “Not even sure how I’m feeling about this, might have to reconsider some things.”

  “I still love you!” Sev called out, the sweet— “But I think it helps that my porn queue is filled with humiliation play. I mean, none of it is quite as extreme as—”

  “Fuck off! All of you!” I snarled and stomped away from the python-esque coils of that fucking sleeping bag, but my dramatic exit was ruined by having no fucking clue where to go.

  “Whatcha need, sunshine?”

  “I gotta pee,” I mumbled, my face heating up as I looked around for the nice, private bathroom with working plumbing that was surely installed in this abandoned barn.

  “Bushes outside,” he pressed his lips together, fighting a smile. “Uhh… do you need help?”

  I stalked over to my pack, dug through it looking for supplies, and glared at him as I stomped back to where he was waiting at the door. “No, I don’t need help,” I said, way calmer than I felt. “I just wasn’t sure— I— just get out of my way, okay?” I snapped, pushing past him, and out into the chilly gloom of pre-dawn.

  After I’d taken care of business, sanitized, and cleaned up a bit with toothpaste, mouthwash, and a comb, I returned to the group to find Jason, Ryan, Gemma, and Adriana with their packs at their feet, discussing some final details about routes and timing with my guys. Tai folded up a map and handed it over to them as I watched from a distance, feeling— feelings I had no right having, and didn’t want.

  Adriana spotted me first, and headed over, pulling me into a hug I only sort of resisted. “We’re going to be fine,” she whispered, “and so are all of you. Take care of each other, and try to enjoy it, okay? Life, I mean. The awesome sex too, but just life. You’re too hard on yourself, you carry too much. You don’t need to single-handedly save the world.”

  “Shows what you know,” I muttered, but squeezed her tight. “Not sure what’s going on, but I’m worried for them,” meaning Jason and Ryan but she knew that. She nodded.

  “It’ll be rough, but they’ll be fine. They’re tough as nails and have been dealing with the family bullshit for a long time. You’ve been good for them though, you really have. Made them realize there’s a lot more out there than the shit the family feeds them and tries to call caviar. I’d love you for that if nothing
else, but you’ve given me a lot of reasons, Aesli Azrael Vokaty, so have a good fucking life, hear me?”

  She was sniffling now, and getting mad about it, so I got one more hug before she pushed me away and went to the door, pretending she wasn’t all emotional. I watched her for a second but then Gemma had ahold of my cheeks and was kissing me, tongue and everything, and… and it wasn’t unpleasant. It didn’t electrify me or turn my brain to mush or anything like kissing my guys did, but it wasn’t bad by any means. Her lips were soft and full, and her boobs were mashed up against mine and that was interesting, and I liked her nails raking against my scalp—

  “Jesus!” She breathed, pulling away. “Fuck!”

  She shook her head, then pushed past me, smacking my ass on her way to her sister, and I was left standing there staring at seven men with hooded eyes and deadly smirks. I shrugged. “I kinda liked it. The ass-smacking too, so take notes, yeah?”

  Ryan was up in my face, groaning as if in pain, hugging me close — so close I could feel how hard he was and I think his dick might leave a bruise. “Gonna miss you, Azzie,” he mumbled into my hair after a minute, and it was possibly the first time he spoke to me without being sarcastic or crude — it was genuine. “You ever get tired of those assholes, you let me know. I’ll treat you like the queen you are, you hear me? Doesn’t matter when or how… say the word and I’ll be there. You could be happy with me and Jase, and we’d treat you right.”

  “I have no doubt,” I assured him, a small ache pinging in my chest. “You’re good men, Ryan — you tried to hide it, but I saw through you from day one. And some girl is going to be really lucky to catch you.”

  “But it won’t be you.”

  “Sorry, babydoll,” I grinned into his shoulder as I felt him chuckle. “Not gonna be me. But I’m always gonna have a soft spot in my heart for you.”

  He pulled back from me and I thought our hug was done, but instead he got hold of my hair and tugged my head back, and I didn’t fight the kiss this time. I enjoyed it. It warmed me up and made me feel a little wistful, but I knew it was never going to happen between us because it wasn’t fireworks and explosions and overwhelming need.

  “Told you there’d be more kissing,” he grinned slyly, and I batted at him, laughing. He gave me another peck then turned me, looking over my shoulder, and I felt another warm body press into me from behind. “Be seeing you, sweetcheeks,” Ryan said with another soft kiss, then he nodded at his brother and let me go.

  I spun into Jason’s arms and he lifted me up, holding me against him so we were eye to eye. “This sucks,” he growled, and the tears I’d been fighting finally won, a couple slipping past to trail down my cheek. He crushed me against him and I wrapped my arms around his head and neck, holding on like I’d fall to my death if I let go.

  “I’m sorry, Jason,” I cried softly into his neck.

  “Why are you sorry?” His voice was strained, his grip painful. “I’m the asshole, not you. It’s our family that sucks and we betrayed you.”

  “I don’t blame you for anything,” I said, and I meant it. I knew all about having to make terrible decisions with guaranteed shitty outcomes, and having to live with it. “I’m going to miss you, I care about you so much, b—”

  “Don’t say it,” he whispered, and I stopped talking. “Don’t break my heart, let me walk away not knowing either way, okay? I love you, Azzie. I’m in love with you. And I don’t want to know if you don’t feel the same. Just— just stay safe. And if you ever need me — ever — I’ll be there. Understand?”

  I nodded, whispering, “Okay.”

  “Now kiss me like you mean it,” he said, and I did, and if I felt a brighter spark than with his brother, and if it made me wonder what if?… well, I just shoved all that down deep inside and locked it away.

  He let me go, and set me back down, and walked away without looking back, pushing past his brother and the girls and right out the barn door. I touched my lips, feeling like a small piece of my heart was breaking watching him walk away, but this was how it had to be.

  Grabbing up his brother’s pack too, Ryan nodded at me, Gemma blew me a kiss, and they both followed Jason out. Adriana stayed in the doorway, eyeing me, then looked over my shoulder at the silent sentinels I was really hoping weren’t furious with me, or hurt, or disgusted with my behavior. Something she saw must have amused her, because a smile slowly bloomed and took over her face. I was reminded of the first time I saw them in the cafeteria and how I’d thought they were the most beautiful girls I’d ever seen.

  “Love ya, babe,” she winked at me. “Enjoy it.”

  And then she was gone, and the door was closing behind her, and I had to face them but was too chicken after having made out with three other people like the slutty slut whore I am.

  “You can take a minute if you need to,” Tai’s voice carried, sounding perfectly neutral, “but we do need to get moving soon.”

  “We’re going to walk for a few hours,” Spider said, his voice changing volume and tone like he was moving around a lot, but none of it sounded accusatory or angry. “We’ll find a place to rest during the middle of the day. You can sleep more then, because we’ll be walking hopefully late into the night if the weather holds.”

  I nodded without turning around.

  “Your tea is ready,” Luka said carefully, and I hitched in a breath. “Can I bring it to you?”

  “Why aren’t you mad?” I asked, finally turning around to face them, and sure enough not a single one was upset. All five of them faced me too; Spider stopped what he was doing with moving things around to disguise our presence, giving me his full attention.

  “Why would we be?” Sasha asked, and his confusion was genuine.

  “We really don’t like them,” Sev said, the corner of his mouth curling up, “but you do. And they were good to you in their way, so I can’t hate them.”

  “That was hard to watch,” Spider shrugged, “because it was hurting you to say goodbye, and none of us ever want to see you hurt. But we can’t be mad that you feel something for them. It’s got nothing to do with us.”

  “Not gonna lie, it helps they were leaving,” Luka hunched his shoulders up and made a face. “But the same thing happened in the game store when you said goodbye to those guys—”

  “With a lot less kissing,” Sev qualified.

  “—and I think we all realized then that this is going to keep happening. It’s hard not to love you, Az, despite your best efforts.”

  I grimaced at him, my face burning and tears prickling in my eyes again, but for totally different reasons now. My emotions for these five men were so big, so overwhelming, that I was having trouble not dissolving into a weepy mess, sobbing about how much I loved them and how wonderful they all are—

  “The lesbian action made it easier,” Tai offered and the others nodded. “So going forward, if you’re compelled to make out with other dudes, keep that in mind.”

  I closed my eyes and nodded, taking my own notes.

  “Azzie,” Sasha said in a tone that made my eyes pop open again, and I was startled by the tenderness I saw on his face. “At the end of the day, as long as you’re still with us and your feelings towards us haven’t changed, we can deal with the rest of it. Okay? Loving other people doesn’t change or lessen what’s between us.”

  “I could probably do with less acting on it…” Luka frowned, crossing his arms. “A little kissing is okay, in greeting or saying goodbye, but—”

  “Did you know that Sasha announced to the four of them that the only tongues that would ever be touching my pussy were yours?” I stated, and Sasha cringed a little sheepishly but was nowhere close to apologetic about it. “Gemma suggested fingers, and that claim was staked by you too — and I guess mine are allowed — well, I’m declaring right now that the only dicks going into any part of my body, ever, are right here in this room. Does that help?”

  “That works,” Luka nodded and Sasha smiled at me. Sev and Spider were
both in agreement as well.

  Tai looked around at them, then spoke. “I’m declaring right now that the only pussy that gets our dicks is also in this room. Yeah?”

  “That works too,” Luka kept nodding, and the rest of them were in hearty agreement, and I was only a little weirded out by the conversation we were having.

  “Or mouth,” Sev piped up, leading to a bunch of nods and “good calls.”

  “Or—”

  “Don’t,” I cut Luka off, shaking my head. “Until you’ve at least made it through the Village of Barovia, butt stuff is not on the table—”

  “Is that right before we win? Do we have to wait until— how long does this game take?”

  Sev and I looked at each other and started to laugh. He slapped his brother on the shoulder, assuring him that the Village of Barovia was early in the campaign, and neither one of us answered the other question.

  Then I started feeling weird again. “This is— don’t you think—?”

  “Did we just have a post-apocalyptic commitment ceremony?” Sev interrupted, looking around and seeming excited by the prospect. “In an abandoned barn, on the run from a covert military base that we escaped from through a secret tunnel?”

  “Probably after dooming thousands of people to their deaths,” I agreed, wiping my hand over my face. “And possibly already being hunted by them.”

  “Thirty-seven miles,” Spider said, stepping up to me for a hug. “That’s all we need to get through — and it’s actually less than that because that’s if we were traveling on the roads and we’ll be going cross-country. Three days, tops, and then we’ll be safe.” I nodded, squelching the anxiety that was rearing up, and he leaned down to kiss me on the forehead.

  “Three days,” I repeated, and he nodded solemnly. “Totally doable.”

  “Absolutely,” he agreed, “now go get dressed, drink some tea, and let’s get walking.”