The Essential Jagged Ivory (Jagged Ivory Boxed Set)

by Lashell Collins

  “Um, my uncle … he owns a Korean restaurant in AsiaTown,” Janie began.

  “AsiaTown? Is that like Cleveland's answer to China Town?” Benji asked.

  “Yes, sort of,” Janie replied. “It's a colorful neighborhood, full of character. Really beautiful old buildings and interesting architecture. Very rich in culture as you might imagine. It's become sort of a melting pot for the various Asian groups represented in Cleveland. And it attracts a lot of visitors with unique shops and wonderful restaurants.”

  “You sound like you work for the local tourism board,” Otis said, smiling at her.

  Janie flushed slightly, feeling embarrassed. She probably did sound like an idiot to him. To all of them actually. “No,” she said softly, stealing a glance at him. “I just work in my uncle's restaurant. I've waited tables there since I was sixteen, actually.” She could hear the quiver of her own voice and felt really self-conscious for some reason. And inwardly, she rolled her eyes at herself, feeling like that high school social misfit again.

  “Now that explains a lot,” Otis replied, looking at Buzzy.

  “What are you talking about?” Buz asked him, still holding Janie's hand.

  “I'm talking about you, brother, and your yen for Korean food,” Otis smiled. “Now I finally know where that comes from. 'Cause I'm guessing you probably spent a lot of time at that restaurant back in the day, am I right?”

  Buzzy laughed slightly as he glanced at Janie. And then Otis smiled at her and continued, “I don't know if you're aware of this, but Buzzy is completely obsessed with Korean food. No matter where we are, whether we're on tour or just riding around L.A., he'll see a Korean restaurant he's never tried and he will badger us all until at least one of us will go there with him.”

  “Okay, that's an exaggeration,” Buz smiled.

  “That is not an exaggeration, man; that is right on the money, and you know it,” Cory chimed in, laughing at him.

  “Okay, okay! So I developed a taste for Korean food when Janie and I met,” Buz admitted, feeling only a little embarrassed at the guys ribbing. “She already knows that. And anyway, we weren't talking about me … we were talking about Janie.” He looked at her once again before saying, “She doesn't just work at her uncle's restaurant. She's also a writer.”

  Janie looked at him in shock for a moment. Why was he telling them this?

  “Really?” Mercy asked. “What sort of things do you write?”

  Janie's heart was suddenly racing. “I'm really not a writer, I just …” Her voice trailed off as she realized that she had no clue how to finish that sentence. And she smirked to herself at that thought. She really wasn't a writer!

  “Yes, she is a writer,” Buzzy spoke up, frowning at her. “Janie, you are a terrific writer, baby. Those books you wrote for Bobby are incredible!”

  “You wrote children's books for Bobby?” Mercy asked.

  “Yeah, my Bobby Books,” Bobby chimed in, excited to have something to contribute to the grownup's conversation. “They're really good. She wrote a lot of them!”

  “What are they about?” Fae asked.

  “They're about me,” the child said proudly, and everyone chuckled at him.

  “No, he's right,” Buz responded, placing a hand on his son's back. “They all have titles like 'Bobby the Dinosaur Boy,' and 'Bobby's First Trip to the Dentist.' They're all about the small milestones that growing little boys go through. There are twelve of them, and they're all very imaginative.”

  “Mom's a great writer,” Bobby confirmed. And Janie sat staring at her two-man cheering section with a humble heart and a shocked smile.

  “They sound amazing,” Fae smiled.

  “Yeah, they do, don't they,” Janie said softly, not really talking about the books as she continued to look at Robby and their son. They were so adorable together. And they made her sound like some superwoman or something.

  “So is this something you plan to pursue, Janie?” Mike asked as the waiters finally came around with their food. “Getting your children's books published?”

  “Oh, I … I don't know,” she shrugged self-consciously. “They're really not good enough to be published. My guys here are just being very sweet,” she said, placing a hand on Buzzy's arm.

  Her voice was small and uncertain, and Buz looked at her as though he couldn't believe what she had just said. “Janie, if you won't take my word for it, then why don't you let someone else read them?” he suggested. “Get a second opinion.”

  “Robby,” she said quietly, blushing again.

  “No, I'm serious,” he said. “Why don't you send them to someone. Isn't that what writers do? You submit a story or a query letter or something to a publisher?”

  Janie sighed. “Well, yes but …”

  “You should do that,” he insisted, and Janie couldn't miss the excited tone in his voice. He was so cute in his attempt to be supportive and encouraging, but she could feel that familiar sense of being overwhelmed by him again. When she had first met him that sensation frightened her, and she wanted to stay as far away from him as she could. But she quickly discovered that she couldn't fight it. Being overwhelmed by him was something she craved.

  “You know, I have a very good friend who I graduated from Harvard with,” Mike continued. “Her name is Susie Bernard, and she's an acquiring editor at a publishing house in New York. And I know for a fact that one of her divisions just happens to be children's literature. I think her publishing house usually only takes submissions from an agent, but … if you're interested, I'd be more than happy to give her a call,” he offered.

  “Oh.” It was all Janie could think to say, she was so stunned by his generosity.

  “Yes! That would be great, Mike,” Buzzy gushed. “Thank you!”

  “No. I … I mean, that's very kind of you to offer, but … I couldn't ask you to do that,” Janie protested.

  “Well, you're not asking,” Mike replied, smiling at her. “I'm offering. And I'm happy to do it. Susie's a great friend of mine; we speak often, so it's not a big deal.”

  Janie couldn't believe it. But the butterflies in her stomach and the goose bumps on her arms told her that this conversation was really happening. “Um … thank you,” she said quietly, gazing at the band's manager as Buzzy lightly squeezed her hand.

  “You're welcome,” Mike smiled.

  The chatter around the table swelled then, and Janie sat listening to snippets of various conversations as they all ate their meals. To her it felt like a real family gathering, and she understood now why Robby and his bandmates always called themselves brothers. It was the sort of kinship and warmth that Janie had missed dearly since her mother's death a year ago, and she allowed herself to imagine for a while what it might be like to really be a part of this incredible group of people. To be a part of their family. They all seemed to care about each other a great deal, and they obviously enjoyed each other's company.

  As they ate, she watched as Bobby clowned around with each of Robby's bandmates, charming everyone at the table and forming an immediate attachment to Otis and Benji in particular. But nearly as soon as the child had finished his cheeseburger and fries, he sat quietly nodding off to sleep in his chair, just as Janie had predicted. And her heart nearly melted when Robby reached over without a word, and lifted the sleeping child into his lap.

  Chapter Ten

  Once dinner was over, Robby picked up their son in his arms and the group made its way upstairs. Janie was shocked when she learned that they had rented an entire floor of the hotel. It seemed incredibly excessive to her, and she wondered how much something like that must cost the band. She was further astonished when they got to their room and she saw that it was a beautifully decorated two bedroom suite. She stood by watching as Robby carried their sleeping son into one of the bedrooms and gently laid him down on the bed. He carefully removed the boy's shoes and socks, and then his jeans, leaving him in his Iron Man t-shirt and matching underwear, and pulled the covers up around him. He s
at for a moment just watching him sleep, and Janie felt that strange pull in her belly once more. The love was written all over his face.

  Buzzy still couldn't get over it. He was a father. A fucking father! And the totally insane part of it was that, even though he had only known he was a father for two days, he suddenly felt all of those crazy parental things, like worrying over your child's welfare and making sure that they were safe and shit. He had no idea where that had come from, but he had fussed over Bobby all through dinner, making sure his cheeseburger had been cut in half and that he had gotten enough to eat. Refusing to wake him up so that he could walk up to the room and opting instead to carry him so that the child could keep sleeping. It wasn't just dinner though. He had worried over Bobby all day long, making sure that he didn't wander away before the concert began. And during the show, he would glance to the wings every so often just to reassure himself that Bobby was still right there with Janie and that they were both alright.

  He shook his head slightly as he thought about it, and gently ran his fingers through his sleeping son's hair. His son! He smiled to himself at that thought and then stood up. He stared down at him for a few more seconds before he turned around and took Janie by the hand and led her out of the room. They crossed the common area of the suite and entered the other bedroom, and Buzzy closed the door behind them. Still holding her hand, he pulled her into his arms and looked down at her. He said nothing as he stared into her eyes for a moment. Those beautiful brown eyes that had captivated him the first time he saw her. Leaning in, he kissed her lips, letting his tongue linger as it softly stroked hers.

  “I have wanted to do this all day,” he whispered as he let his hands slide beneath her white blouse and over the soft skin of her back. He continued to lift it up, gently pulling it over her head and letting it drop to the floor as he kissed her again.

  In no time at all they were between the sheets, and he was entering her slowly, eliciting a long drawn out moan of pleasure from Janie. He started to move, never missing a beat as he drilled in and out of her with rhythmic precision as he let his body grind against hers with spirited force.

  Janie could feel herself building as he pounded into her, and she bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out. She loved the feel of having him inside of her. No one had ever made her feel the way Robby did. Sex with him had always transported her to another place, as if being with him was somehow a magical or transcendent experience.

  Her orgasm shot through her like a rocket, setting off sparks in her core and radiating out to every part of her body as he continued to hammer into her. And as the second wave hit, her fingernails dug into the skin of his back and she held on for dear life as she felt him exploding inside of her.

  “Janie,” he growled, calling out her name as his body went rigid on top of her. They lay panting in each other's arms for a moment before he pulled out of her and rolled over. Then he looked at her and crooked his finger at her, silently motioning her to him.

  Janie scooted over into his arms, resting her head on his chest as she felt his fingers running softly over her back. She listened to his heart beating double time and she knew that hers was pulsating just as fast.

  They were quiet for a long time as he held her, and at one point Buzzy thought she might be sleeping. He shook his head slightly because they still hadn't finished the conversation they began on the drive to Toledo, and there were still decisions that needed to be made. He really wanted her to agree to come to Los Angeles during his month off. He wanted to show her and Bobby his home in the Hollywood Hills. He wanted them to get to know it, and to feel at home there. He wanted them to think of it as theirs.

  “I had so much fun today,” Janie suddenly said. Her voice sounded sort of dreamy, but still full of excitement and wonder, and Buzzy smiled and kissed her forehead. “It was so incredible watching the concert from the wings. So much more awesome than being out in the crowd. And you were amazing. You know, your son wants to be a drummer now.”

  Buz laughed softly. “Yeah, he told me that at dinner,” he smiled. “He asked if I would teach him how to play.”

  “He told me the drums are the coolest instrument,” she said.

  “Well, I will certainly teach him to play if he's really interested,” Buz said as he let his fingers play in little circles on her skin.

  “Oh, I think he's interested,” Janie said softly. “He said he wants to play the drums and be just like his dad.”

  Buzzy's heart skipped a few beats, and he could feel it swell as his mind replayed images of his time with Bobby from the past two days. How was it possible to love that kid so much in such a short amount of time? It didn't make sense to him, and he wondered if that was normal for fathers. But then again, most fathers probably meet their children as infants, not as near eight-year-olds. And he frowned at that thought because it suddenly made him think about Cory, and the fact that he had just met his father a few months ago.

  It was weird to think about now. At the time, Buz had been very sympathetic to Cory's situation. After all, he and his own father had had their issues when Buzzy was growing up, but at least his dad had been around, and Buz had always known that his father loved him. But Cory couldn't say that. Buz and the others had known that Cory had wondered about his dad all of his life. And when he finally came face to face with the man, Cory went through some real changes. In fact, they both had, and Buzzy knew that Cory and Charles Dutton had slowly begun to build a friendship. He knew from Cory that he and his dad had video chatted a few times, and that they had started playing games of chess over the Internet. But he also knew that it hadn't been an easy situation for either one of them, and that Cory still struggled with forgiving his father for his absence. Even though he understood the reasons for that absence. In that sense, Buzzy supposed that he and Bobby were lucky that they had only missed eight years together, and not twenty-eight.

  He was still lost in thought when Janie moved, raising her head from his chest and propping herself up on her elbow as she looked down at him. “Did I lose you?” she asked.

  “Hmm?”

  “You got quiet on me. I thought maybe you fell asleep.”

  “I'm sorry, I was just thinking about Bobby,” he answered softly as his hand continued to play over her skin. “You know Cory … my bandmate? He never knew his father. Growing up, his dad was never around. But he actually just met him a few months ago.”

  “Really?” Janie asked anxiously, wondering where he was going with this.

  “Yeah,” Buz answered. “They've had a lot to work through.”

  He fell silent again, and Janie wondered frantically what was going through his mind right now. The three of them had had such a lovely day; she didn't want it to suddenly be ruined by another argument.

  “I'm sorry, Robby,” she whispered, running her index finger over his chin.

  Buzzy looked at her, studying her eyes for a moment. Then he smiled as he caressed her face. “I'm grateful that Bobby and I won't have to go through that,” he told her. “I'm sorry, Janie. About the things I said to you the other night. About robbing time from Bobby and me. I shouldn't have said that.”

  “Yes, you should,” Janie asserted. “You had every right to say those things, Robby, because they're true. No matter what my reasons or my intentions were … the fact is I kept you and Bobby apart. I robbed him of a father for the first several years of his life. And I stole those precious first few years from you. And I'm sorry. No matter what happens between you and me, I will never forgive myself for that.”

  “Well, you need to, Janie. Because I have,” he stated, looking into her eyes.

  Janie couldn't believe what she was hearing. Surely he couldn't mean what he was saying! “How? How can you forgive me so easily?”

  He smiled at her, caressing her face once more. “Because I love you, Janie. Because you mean the world to me, and you always have. And because I meant what I said before. I want you and Bobby in my life. Permanently.”


  Permanently? Janie wasn't at all sure what he meant by that. Permanently was a very loaded word full of all sorts of implications and promises, and Janie didn't want to think about what he might mean. Not right now.

  She let his comment pass, hoping that he would allow it drop for now, and focused instead on a question she had been dying to ask him since before lunchtime.

  “Robby, can I ask you something?”

  “You can ask me anything, baby,” he answered, tucking a strand of her silky hair behind her ear.

  Janie moved, turning onto her stomach and clutching her pillow. And Buz followed suit, matching her pose as they both lay on their fronts, staring into one another's eyes.

  “Why didn't you tell me that you paid for Mom's funeral?” she asked timidly.

  Buz took a deep breath as he looked at her with a sad smile. “I don't know,” he answered softly. “I guess I was just … afraid of what you might say if you knew. I mean, at that point, I had no idea how you felt about me. Or why you had broken up with me. I had no idea if you would even want to hear from me again, so … I just kept it quiet.”

  “But how did you know that she didn't have any life insurance that would cover it?” Janie asked.

  “I didn't know that,” Buzzy shrugged. “I had no idea that there was no life insurance or that you couldn't pay for it.”

  Janie frowned at him. “Well, then I don't understand. If you didn't know that we were struggling, why did you do it?”

  He returned her frown with one of his own. “Janie, I had no clue about your financial situation. I simply wanted to do something for you because I love you. I remembered how close you and your mom always were, and I knew that you would probably be beside yourself with grief. And I just … I just wanted to take the burden off of you somehow. I wanted to be there with you. To be there for you. But I knew that wasn't possible, so … I did the only thing that I could.”