Scorned by Shadows (Kissed by Shadows Series, Book 4)

by Lola StVil

  I nod, and she leads me to the kitchen. I know I have to ask her about Tracey, but suddenly, I’m afraid of the answer, and I just don’t know how to start. I don’t have to. Saudia holds her hand out to me. I frown, but I stick my hand out to meet hers.

  She pushes something into my hand. I flick the light on and look down. In my hand is an orange-colored feather.

  “Saudia? Is that what I think it is?” I ask quietly.

  She nods.

  “But how…?”

  I stop when I see Saudia’s face crumple. I reach out and hug her, any tiny doubts I had about her loyalty to the team fading instantly, and after a minute, she pulls back, looking a little more composed.

  “I paid Bethan’s price,” she says. “I gave her the heart of my one true love.”

  My eyes widen at her revelation, and she goes on.

  “I hate myself for what I’ve done, but we needed that feather, and the mission has to come first. And I guess it was easier to do it knowing that Tracey had betrayed us all. But it was still the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, Atlas. I know I should hate her after what she did to you, to Regal, to Remy, but I didn’t. I still loved her.

  “You know what made it harder? When I told her why I was there, she didn’t try to fight me. She didn’t even plead for her life. She just smiled and said at least now she could do something useful for the team. She said she loved me and if this was what it took to help me, then she would gladly give me her heart. I told her I forgave her, that this made us even. But I’m not sure that’s true. I think it makes me the villain.”

  “No, Saudia. It makes you braver than you know, and more dedicated to the cause than anyone. It means you are fulfilling your destiny.”

  “So you don’t hate me for what I’ve done?” Saudia asks, looking surprised.

  “Hate you? No, of course not. Saudia, I’m just sorry you had to do this alone.”

  “I had to do it alone. I had to end this just the two of us.”

  She gives me a sad smile.

  “And now I will never be tempted to go back to her.”

  After Saudia made her confession, she said she was going to bed, but I didn’t think she should be alone and I shook my head and pulled a bottle of Grey Goose out of the freezer. We sat up half the night doing shots of vodka and talking.

  We talked about her and Tracey, me and Kane, and every other topic that came to us. Eventually, she did go to bed, but I figured after the vodka and the talk we’d had, she would be okay. Or at least better than she had been.

  I knew I’d have to call Sadie and get her over here to make the mixture, but first I needed to sleep myself. I knew we’d be in for a hell of a day trekking through Antarctica and facing the Winter Demon, and the idea of doing it with a hangover filled me with dread.

  I woke Kane so we could finally go up to bed. It was around five AM. I told him what Saudia had told me. I didn’t really know what to make of it. I didn’t hate Saudia—in fact, I admired her for putting the needs of the team above her own—but I still couldn’t believe she actually went through with it.

  Even when Kane killed my father and I hated him more than anything, I couldn’t have imagined killing him. Hell, I couldn’t even let him die when it wasn’t at my hand. But I was in no position to judge Saudia. After all, Tracey was part of the reason I ended up at the Meat Market. I still hadn’t been able to deal with Talon, and she was the next best thing, and now she was dealt with.

  Maybe Saudia should be the leader, I thought to myself, because she put the team first where I know I wouldn’t have been able to.

  I told Kane that we’d go along with whatever Saudia told the team the price was, which he readily agreed to, and then I finally let myself sleep.

  “Ready?” Kane asks me, stepping back into the bedroom after his shower.

  I nod and smile, and we head downstairs. We’re the first ones up, but when I start frying bacon as Kane calls Sadie, everyone starts moving. I’m sure they were all awake and just waiting for someone else to get the breakfast going.

  I wait until everyone has a mound of bacon on their plates.

  “So, we have the feather. Sadie is on her way over,” I say.

  Everyone except Kane and Saudia looks at me in shock.

  “You have the feather?” Perry exclaims.

  “When did you get it? How did you get it?” Langston asks.

  “And you were planning on telling us this when?” Regal demands.

  All the questions come at once.

  “Yes,” I say, answering Perry’s question first.

  “I was planning on telling you now, as I have,” I reply to Regal. “It was the middle of the night when I got it, and it seemed pointless to wake you all. It wouldn’t have gotten anything done any faster, and we all needed to rest.”

  It seems to appease him.

  “How?” Langston asks again.

  I glance at Saudia, who refuses to meet my eye.

  “Well…umm, I found someone else who had one and…”

  “It’s okay, Atlas,” Saudia says.

  Everyone turns to look at Saudia.

  “I paid Bethan’s price,” Saudia says. “I—”

  “You don’t have to explain, Saudia,” Kane says. “It’s enough to know that you got it. We don’t need to know what you had to do if you don’t want to tell us.”

  He glares at Langston, Perry, and Regal in turn and no one argues with him.

  “Thank you,” Saudia says to him.

  “So anyway,” I say, trying to distract everyone, “Sadie will be here anytime soon to add the Phoenix feather to the mixture, and then we’ll be heading out.”

  “Did I hear my name mentioned there? I hope you were saying Sadie will have some bacon delivered to the lab,” Sadie says, sticking her head around the door.

  “That’s exactly what I was saying.” I laugh.

  I begin to pile bacon up onto a plate as Sadie heads straight for the lab. The feather is already in there, placed in the safe, which only Sadie and I have the combination to.

  I take the bacon to Sadie, who smiles gratefully at me. She is sitting at the workbench, goggles and a white lab coat on. Before her is a vial of clear liquid and the feather. She holds a blade, which she is running over the feather in intricate steps, slowly shaving it into tiny pieces.

  She picks up a piece of bacon in her other hand and nibbles on it.

  “You know, Atlas, Kane wouldn’t tell me how you got the feather. Did he do something bad?”

  I feel a rush of annoyance at her assumption that it would automatically be Kane who did something bad to get the feather.

  “No, he damn well didn’t,” I snap, more harshly than I meant to. “I’m sorry, Sadie, but if you want to have a relationship with him, you have to stop doubting him every chance you get.”

  “I know. I just…I’m sorry, okay? There’s just so much riding on him embracing the light and not going back to the darkness.”

  “And I have no intention of doing that,” Kane says from the doorway. “But it’s nice to know you’re just waiting for me to fuck up, Mom.”

  “Kane, I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would have done something bad without a good reason. But I know Bethan, and I know her way of working. And if you were the one to deliver her price, well it could be enough to push you back over the edge.”

  Kane shrugs.

  “I know why you would think that. But believe me when I say I have a damn good reason not to let that happen.”

  He smiles almost shyly at me as he says it.

  “I know you do, Son,” Sadie says quietly as she goes back to the feather.

  I am starting to think this mission is bringing out the darkness in all of us.

  Sadie stands before us in the living room.

  “Regal? Do you have enough healing mixtures?” she asks.

  Regal shrugs. “I’d like to say yes, but we’re heading into the unknown. Who knows what could happen that I’m not prepared for,” he says.


  She nods. “I thought you might say something like that,” she says as she hands him three vials of yellow liquid flecked with green. “Gelliom potion. It can cure anything. Short-term of course, but hopefully long enough for anyone who is too seriously hurt for your potions to work to get back here and go to a healer. That’s all I have, so use it wisely.”

  “Thank you,” he says.

  “Now, I need you all to drink this,” Sadie says.

  She passes me a goblet filled with a black liquid. I wrinkle my nose.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  “It’s part of a linking spell I’m about to perform,” she says. “It’s called Varno. It tastes like death, but it’s worth it. Once you’ve all drank some, you will be linked together. And I will tether the linking spell to the couch.”

  She nods at me, and I drink. Although I don’t really understand what she was saying, I know she wouldn’t harm us, and I trust her to have a good reason for us drinking the putrid mixture. She wasn’t wrong about the taste. It tastes like nothing I can even begin to describe, and it’s all I can do to not throw it right back up again.

  I pass it to Kane, who drinks and passes it on. When we’ve all drank, Sadie accepts the goblet back. She pours the last bit of the mixture onto the couch.

  “Okay,” Perry says. “You’re going to have to make more sense than this, Sadie. What’s this all about?”

  Sadie pulls a dime from her pocket and rubs it over the puddle on the couch. She hands it to me.

  “Don’t lose that, Atlas. It’s your ticket home. The spell has linked all of you as one and tethered you to the couch, which in turn is tethered to the dime. Once you have the apple, use it to come home. You must all be touching each other, or it won’t work. Throw the dime into the air, and you’ll be brought back here. There is only one way to get to the apple, and remember, the Winter Demon won’t be dead. You don’t want to have to pass him twice. This will get you out of there. Just don’t lose your grip on each other, because you have to complete the spell as one or it won’t work, and you’ll be stuck there. You’ll only get one shot at it.

  “I hate to say this, but no matter what happens, don’t use it before you have the apple, because the mixture to blind the Winter Demon will only be strong enough to work for one day, and you know how hard it was to get a Phoenix feather to make it. If anyone is lost, the spell will still work,” she says with dread.

  I know what she’s really saying there. If one of us dies, it’ll still work, and we’re not to come back early because of that.

  She hands me another vial, this one filled with an orange liquid. I know exactly what it is. The color of it is the exact same as the Phoenix feather.

  “Thank you, Sadie,” I say. “We couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

  “There’s one more thing,” Sadie says. “I take it none of you have considered the fact that the temperatures there will be well below zero and you’ll likely freeze to death without several layers of thermal clothing?”

  “I…no,” I say.

  I curse myself inside. How could I have been so stupid as to not even think of that? She smiles at the look on our faces and pulls out a tube. She hands it to me.

  “Everyone take a swallow of that. It will maintain the body temperature you have now for the next forty-eight hours, regardless of any outside factors. And don’t worry. This one actually tastes quite nice.” She grins.

  This one has a steaming red liquid with a sweet smell to it. I take a big gulp. I can feel the bubbles tickle my insides as they work their way through my body. Sadie is right. It tastes like cherries. I pass it on, and once everyone has had some, Sadie puts the tube back away.

  “Pest told me to give you this,” she says, handing Kane a piece of paper. “It’s the coordinates for the nearest place to the apple that you can teleport to. He said to turn left and just walk until you come to the valley.”

  “Thanks,” Kane says.

  “I guess all that’s left for me to say is good luck and take care of each other.”

  “Thank you,” I say again.

  I stand up and embrace Sadie tightly. Kane embraces her next.

  “I love you,” she says as she hugs him.

  “I love you too, Mom,” he whispers.

  I smile and hold my hand out to him as he steps away from Sadie. He makes a portal, and we step through it, and we’re surrounded by an endless landscape of white. We turn left and begin trudging through the knee-high snow.

  It’s strange seeing the snow and ice around us, feeling the wetness seeping into my jeans and hearing the howling wind, yet still feeling warm in my jeans and shirt. I should be freezing. I think I would enjoy the effect in any other conditions, but I’m too nervous to appreciate the magic of it right now.

  “So this is fun,” Perry says when we’ve been walking for about two hours. “It’s like a never-ending white blanket. One that drags at your feet and makes it hard to walk.”

  “Are we certain we’re going the right way?” Regal asks Kane.

  Kane shrugs.

  “We’re going the way Pest told us to go, and I’d sooner think he was right than flounder around and get lost.”

  After another hour of trudging along, all conversation between us has died. All I can hear is everyone gasping for breath. Suddenly, Saudia nudges me and points up ahead. I squint my eyes against the white and then I see it. Two towering cliffs rise from the ground forming a valley. I almost missed it because they too are covered in snow, and they blend almost seamlessly into the blanket of white.

  “The Valley of the Damned,” I say, shuddering at the sound of it. “How far away do you think it is?”

  Saudia shrugs.

  “I don’t know. Maybe another hour?”

  That wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but there’s nothing to do except keep our heads down and walk.

  A while later, Langston, who walked a few paces in front of me, stops dead and I walk into her back.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  “That,” she says, nodding at the ground.

  A giant frozen lake sits in front of us. I look to my left and then my right, but the edges aren’t visible in either direction.

  “We need to go around it. It might not hold our weight. Which way do you guys think?” I say.

  “Screw that. We’ve done enough walking without taking the scenic route,” Perry says. “Look at all the snow around us. It’s beyond freezing here. That thing is likely frozen solid.”

  “And if it’s not?” I press him.

  “Then we’ll walk around it,” he says.

  He steps onto the frozen surface before I can stop him. He takes a couple of tentative steps that turn into big strides. He turns back to us, grinning.

  “See, I told you—”

  His words are cut off as the ice opens up and swallows him.

  “Perryyyyy noooooo,” Langston shouts.

  She runs onto the ice. I grab for her, but I’m half a second too late, and she darts away from me. She runs across the ice, skidding and sliding, and as she reaches the spot where Perry disappeared, the ice opens up again, and she too disappears.

  “What the fuck just happened?” Saudia says, her voice reflecting the shock I think we all feel.

  “I don’t know, but we have to go in there after them,” I say.

  “Atlas, if we do that, we’ll likely all die,” Regal says.

  I frown at him.

  “So what do you think we should do? Leave them and just carry on as if nothing has happened? That wasn’t just a crack and then them falling through the ice. It was something...I don’t know, different. Magic. We have to at least try to rescue them,” I snap.

  “But—” Regal starts.

  “Look, Regal, you do what you feel is right, but if it was you down there, we’d be coming for you,” Saudia says.

  “I’m not saying we shouldn’t try to help them, I’m just wondering if there’s a better way,” Regal says.

&nb
sp; I’m done talking about this. We’re just wasting time, and anything could be happening to them underneath the ice. I step towards the icy lake, Kane at my side.

  “You should wait here,” Kane says. “I’ll go and get them.”

  I glare at him.

  “Atlas, I mean it. If you’re killed then the mission is over,” he says.

  “Fuck the mission, that’s my family down there,” I reply.

  Saudia and Regal catch up to us as we step onto the ice.

  “Are you sure you can do this, Kane? No one will think any less of you if you sit this one out. You know, with the water and everything,” Saudia says.

  There’s that mention of water again. What am I missing here?

  “I’ll be fine. I’ve faced my fear and all that,” Kane says.

  Fear? I look at him, and he just shakes his head. I make a mental note to ask him about it when all of this is over.

  I step forward, and my foot lands almost on the part of the ice that opened. I see a tiny, barely visible line on the ice and I know that’s what will open up. I take a deep breath and step on the line.

  The ice parts and I’m plunged into the water. I know it would be icy cold if it weren’t for Sadie’s mixture, but I don’t feel the temperature. At least that works in our favor. I think the shock of plunging into ice-cold water would have been enough to kill us.

  The water is a murky gray color, the thick layer of ice stopping much light from penetrating it. I can see the ice above us, and I would guess it’s at least two feet thick. So Perry was right. If it weren’t for whatever magic caused the ice to split, it would have easily held our weight.

  I look around, trying to spot any sign of Perry and Langston. I can’t see anything to suggest where they might have gone or what might have happened to them. I am already starting to feel like I need to take a breath, and I feel a pang of panic in my stomach when I realize I have no idea how we get back out of this water. Maybe Regal was right, and I’ve just condemned us all to death.