by Maine, Miley
“Hate is very close to love; you should know that by now.” I can’t tell if Maggie sounds disappointed or if she just feels sorry for me. Neither option is ideal to be honest. “And I think you should clarify what you mean by something happened. Did you kiss?”
“Yes.” I press my palm against my forehead hard, wondering why the signs of a headache have just started to appear. “And more.”
“You slept together? That’s about to get really messy. Luckily, the divorce is already gone through, so you can’t have extra complications there, but if you ever want to change the child custody arrangements, which after this year might be a good plan, then it could be something used against you.”
“You say that like me and Taylor are in the middle of a war.” I really don’t like to think of it like that. “It sounds brutal.”
“Well that’s pretty much what it has been for the last year with you guys, isn’t it? Maybe more of a cold war because the yelling and arguing was very minimal, but still a war. And now you have given something of yourself to the enemy which he could use against you.”
I pondered this for a moment, but my reply is obvious. At least it feels that way to me. “But I don’t think he is the enemy, Maggie. I think I got that wrong. I think I got a lot of things wrong. I mean, I never really hurt him and now I have. I have to admit, it does make me see him differently.”
“It makes you see him naked, which is probably what he wanted all along,” she replies harshly, but I know she’s only doing it with my best interests at heart. “I wouldn’t read too much into anything he does. He’s already proven himself to be a liar and someone who cannot be trusted.”
“He did lie, I’m not going to say he didn’t, but as he explained the story to me of a young naive businessman who fell into the hands of the wrong people, and then couldn’t find the right time to tell me because he was so afraid of losing me... it makes me feel different. I kind of think I rushed the divorce because I freaked out, and maybe I shouldn’t have done.”
Maggie is silent for a beat too long, making my pulse race. I don’t know what’s going on in that head of hers, but I can already tell that I won’t like it. “Doesn’t that sound all too convenient?” she finally asks me. “Like he can’t take responsibility for any of it because he didn’t know what he was doing. He must have known that there was something wrong. He isn’t completely stupid.”
The way that Taylor explained it to me have us totally convinced, but now Maggie is freaking me out all over again. Every time I think I made up my mind, someone else gives another point of view and changes it. That’s the one negative consequence to come from all this mess, I feel like I can’t trust myself anymore, so I find myself relying too much on other people and their opinions, which isn’t healthy. I need to get a mind of my own. Eventually. Right now, I need to know more about what Maggie is thinking. She hasn’t got the emotional attachment to this situation that I do, so perhaps she can see more but I can’t.
“So, you think there is still something dodgy going on? You think he lied me again and that he was completely involved with the drugs and money laundering?”
“I can’t say for sure, obviously, but it certainly seems that way from the newspaper article. Taylor has reason to lie, the journalist who wrote that doesn’t. That’s what I would base my judgement on. But even if you do believe that way about the past, it could be different now. It pains me to say that, because I don’t want you falling back into Taylor’s trap, but I also don’t think you’ll be satisfied until you know for sure. You need to see it with your own eyes.”
I’m enraptured by her words because she’s giving me the sort of words I really want to hear. “So, what are you saying, Maggie?”
As I wait for her to reply, I suddenly realized that I am pressing the phone really hard against my face, probably leaving and unattractive indent. But even acknowledging that doesn’t help me pull it away. It seems to be stuck there.
“Well this is the perfect time for you to do some research of your own, isn’t it? You are in Taylors house for the next few days, he isn’t always around, so you could have a search. See if you can find anything to prove that he’s up to something suspicious.”
“What about Jenny? I can’t look with her around. Not only will she interfere, she’ll probably tell Taylor. You know, she’s five years old and doesn’t know how to keep a secret.” I shake my head as I even think about the idea. “I shouldn’t be getting her to keep secrets from her father anyway.”
“This is the time where Taylor is supposed to have her,” Maggie replies as if it’s completely obvious and only I can’t see it. “So, get him to take her out while they do things, for some father daughter time, you can make up some excuse why you can’t go. Then search the place. Go through his paperwork and see what you can find. If he is still doing something dodgy, I’m sure you’ll find it. In which case, you will know for sure that you still can’t trust him, and you can avoid it forever. Or as much as you can, since you have a child together.”
It sounds sneaky, I don’t much like the idea of it, but Maggie is right. I need to see the evidence for myself. I need to know for sure who Taylor is and what he’s doing before I allow myself to get fully involved. It’s scary, but necessary.
“Just remember, Rebecca, you need to act completely normal around Taylor, so he doesn’t get suspicious. If he thinks you might be on to him, he will hide everything. So, you have to play it smart.”
“I can do that,” I reply far more confidently than I actually feel inside. “Play it smart, act normal, secretly search for everything that Taylor is hiding from me... simple.”
Now if only I can get rid of the thick ball of fear lodged in my throat, then everything will be okay...
18
Taylor
December 25th
I’m utterly exhausted by the time I make it home. I didn’t realize that I was going to face that kind of dilemma at the office. There is a reason Archie called me rather than dealing with it himself... because he couldn’t. All of our computer systems were down, leaving our data vulnerable to hackers, which could destroy the whole business and my reputation if I let it happen, which is why I had to sacrifice my Christmas Day to ensure it didn’t.
Certainly not ideal, especially not this year of all years, but there’s nothing I can do.
Anyway, after a long slog, and a series of phone calls to try and find at least one IT company that was open and could help us, we finally have it fixed. It seems to be properly fixed as well; it isn’t just a temporary deal because I didn’t want to have to go through that whole rigmarole again.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I sneak into the living room to find Rebecca there alone. “I take it Jenny has gone to bed already. I really wanted to be back on time, but it was a nightmare.”
“I can imagine.” I’m surprised to see that Rebecca still doesn’t look angry. She has absolutely every reason to be. “Did you get it all sorted though?”
“I did... at least, I’m pretty sure I did.” I roll my eyes. “I’m definitely not going back there, tonight anyway. I am done.”
“Well, it’s good to have you back.” She pats the chair next to her, inviting me to take a seat which I do eagerly. My weary body is more than happy to have a rest. “Jenny did miss you though. I think you might need to have some one on one time with her to make it up to her.”
“Definitely. I want that as well. I have missed her so much.”
I’ve missed Rebecca as well. She’s been on my mind all day long, but I figure it best to keep that inside.
I rest my head on the couch cushion and smile at Rebecca.
“Thank you so much for today. I appreciate you being here for Jenny, so I could go to work. You really didn’t have to do that since this is supposed to be my ten days.”
“I don’t see it like that when it comes to Jenny. If she needs me, I am there.”
I wonder what that look is in Rebecca’s eyes. She is certainly examinin
g me closely, like she’s trying to figure something out, but I don’t know what it is, I don’t mind though because it gives me the time to admire her as well without feeling strange about it. I love nothing more than looking and drinking every inch of her in. I want to commit every part of her beauty to my memory so that she is always there.
Because I’m watching her so closely, it takes me a moment to realize that she is slowly edging towards me. She has that glazed overlook in her eyes which can only mean one thing. Flames of desire dance in her gaze, and I’m sucked in already. There is nothing I can do, aside from tilt my head slightly to the left and get sucked into the kiss…
A moan flies out of Rebecca’s mouth the moment our lips connect. I can feel it vibrating in her chest, which just shows me how turned on she is. I love that I can still have this effect on her, it feels incredible. I love that there is still something there between us, that it hasn’t faded even one bit in the last year.
My hands are all over her body in an instant at the same moment that she starts to lie backwards on the couch. Her head presses into the pillows behind her, which exposes all of her throat to me. Instantly, I take advantage of this by kissing every inch, nipping and licking the perspiration off her skin every time I get the chance.
God, she is beautiful, I think to myself as I paw at her clothing like a damn animal, needing them off. So stunning. And all mine… or at least, she will be… soon enough.
As I drag her top off, my lips trail over her collar bone and slowly downwards. The taste of her might as well still be on the edge of my tongue because I’m so eager to make her soar higher than ever before. My heart pounds with excitement as I prep myself for running my tongue all around her clit once more…
“No!” she yells out as soon as I dip my hand into her panties. The neediness in her voice halts me just as I was about to take her once more. “No, it’s my turn this time.”
Rebecca presses her hand to my chest, and she pushes me away from her. To be honest, I feel too stunned to argue with her, so I let her move away from me. Then I watch in awe as she slips her body off the couch and she falls to her knees in front of me. Rebecca tosses her hair back over her shoulder before she starts fiddling with my zipper, fumbling desperately to get it undone. The fact that it looks like this could be our first time makes it that much more intense. Right now, it’s almost like she doesn’t know my body at all… but an excitable anticipation fills me up because I know that as soon as she gets my cock in her hand, the familiarity will come screaming back. This really is the perfect combination of new and familiar.
She is hot as hell the moment she wraps her fingers around my cock. She drags her tongue along her lips, looking hungrily at me. I can tell that she wants me in her mouth before she edges her hot breath towards me, and she softly kisses my tip.
“I can’t wait to taste you,” she whispers. “I have missed us being together.”
I want to tell her that I feel the same way, but I don’t get a chance to do so because she silences me by wrapping her tight little mouth around me and she takes me all the way to the back of her throat, reminding me that I fit inside of her body like she’s my glove.
“Fucking hell.” I slide my eyes closed and toss my head back while the hot burning pleasure immediately grips me hard. “Oh shit, Rebecca. That feels so good.”
She slides her lips up and down a few times, tasting every inch of me. It feels so good that I don’t want it to end, but at the same time, I want to be inside of her as well. It’s a real dilemma that I’m not in the right frame of mind to figure it out…
“I want to fuck you.” Thankfully, Rebecca seems to sense exactly what I need, and she gives me just what I want. She climbs astride me holds my neck. “Like this.”
Her pert breasts are right in my face as she angles herself over my cock which makes my heart thunder like crazy. It’s damn near impossible for me to hold myself together, even when I grab on to her hips to give me something solid to connect to.
“Oh God.” I’m falling apart as her walls clamp around me and she claims me for her own once more. “Oh, fucking hell, Rebecca. I… I…”
But I don’t get to say what I feel because her thrusts strip the air from my lungs completely. Rebecca isn’t thinking about me anymore. She’s hungrily grabbing her own pleasure which is fine by me because I’m already on the edge. She’s already pushed me so far that I don’t need anything else from her… at least, that’s what I think until I see her expression contorted in sheer bliss. That’s the moment I realize that I need whatever she can give me.
“Rebecca!” I call out her name as I erupt like a fucking volcano. “Oh, Rebecca.” I love the way that her name feels on my lips as the pleasure grips me. I never want to stop saying it.
She bucks and shudders as the orgasm hits her as well, both of us crying out because the pleasure is too much, it’s too intense. I don’t feel like I will ever stop coming, shooting my seed in front of her, and judging by the way that she’s still rocking back and forth on top of me, she doesn’t want it to end…
Maybe we can stay like this forever. Perhaps this doesn’t need to end. I mean, that is what I have been aiming for all along, isn’t it? So, why not?
* * *
“Rebecca,” I shake her lightly. “Rebecca, you better wake up. You didn’t want to fall asleep next to me, remember? I can’t sleep out here on the couch with you because Jenny will wonder where I am when she wakes up. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to sleep out here either.”
But I might as well be talking to myself because she is really out cold. She looks so peaceful as well, it’s hard for me to want to disturb this. In fact, Rebecca Connor looks like a beautiful angel lying there with happiness crossing her expression.
I take my hand off her and simply watch her for a while instead. Her deep in and out breaths are like music to my ears. I could sit here and listen to them all night long. I probably would do, just like I did a few times in the early days of us dating when I was far too in love to even consider sleeping, but I really do have to get to Jenny.
Eventually, I force myself up and I grab a blanket and pillow to settle Rebecca down for the night. I want her to know that at least I thought about her when she wakes up. I also want her to be comfortable and warm. If she’s going to sleep here, then I want her to have the best night’s sleep ever.
“I love you,” I whisper to her once I have her settled. “I love you so much, you will never know how much. With you being here it has been the best time of my life over the last year, and I really hope you stay.”
For a second, I allow myself to imagine what it will be like if we do end up together. I let myself live in that amazing dream which I would love to become a reality. I try not to do it for too long, because it would be far too easy for me to fall so deeply into that I forget about what stage we are really at. I don’t want it to happen because I can’t get carried away, but it feels good to have it for just a moment in my brain.
“I hope that one day you can love me too,” I admit, only because she’s asleep and can’t hear me. “…sometimes I think you might be getting there, but I don’t want to be too confident because I know how much I hurt you. I know how long it’s going to take for you to trust me, but I’d prefer it if you just know I’m trying. And that I will never stop trying. Because you are worth it. You are worth everything.”
Is that a smile I see on her face? Maybe not, and even if it is, it could be from her dream rather than me, but I’d like to think that it’s because of what I’m saying. At least then I have some hope...
19
Rebecca
December 26th
I nearly let out a scream as I wake up in an unfamiliar and unexpected place... not that it’s really any of those things as soon as my eyes adjust, and I recall falling asleep on the couch rather than in my bedroom because of the exhaustion. But since I was dreaming that I was still married and back in my old life over a year ago, including living in my
actual home, it’s a little unnerving to say the least. It’s left me panting and breathless which is embarrassing to say the least.
“Get it together, you idiot,” I hiss at myself as I press my hand to my pounding heart. “What is the matter with you?”
“Who are you talking to, Mommy?” I didn’t even realize that Jenny was there until she interrupts me. “Are you ok?”
As she cocks her head to one side and looks at me curiously, I wonder how bad I really look. “Err, yes, I’m fine. At least I think I am.” I drag my fingers through my hair. “How are you? Did you enjoy yesterday?”
“Yes, very much!” Jenny nods eagerly. “And today, Daddy told me that he’s going to take me out to the fun fair. I can’t wait.”
I almost forgot that I asked him to take her out alone under the ruse that he needs to spend some time alone with her, which he does, but it also gives me a chance to put my plan in to action and find out if there is anything here that I need to know. It makes me nervous to even think about it, but Maggie is right, I need to remember that I won’t relax if I don’t have the full facts.
But oh my God, I got a bit carried away and acted like everything was normal last night, didn’t I? I don’t think my friend would’ve ever thought I would sleep with him in my bed. But yesterday I did cross the line.
“Oh, Mommy, are you going to miss us?” Jenny reads my silence is something else. “We don’t have to go without you, if you don’t want to.”
“Oh no, you guys go and have fun,” I insist because I need them to leave even if I don’t want them to. “Like you said, I’m probably not very well anyway, so I could use the time to rest. I might get some sleep.”
