Perfect Kisses

by Maine, Miley

  “Oh fuck,” she moans in ecstasy as she sends a flood of sensations through my body. I think she might be telling me how good I feel in her hand, but I can’t hear anything anymore. I’m dizzy, everything is too damn much for me. After everything that we have been through today, I need that connection between us, the sizzling bond that can only come from being buried deep inside of her, dragging us both under the waters of pleasure together.

  “T… turn around,” I plead with her, but only half-heartedly since she is still using her incredible hand to send me soaring, and I’m finger fucking her, plunging deep in to her wet folds to match her pace. “Turn around, Rebecca. I want to fuck you from behind.”

  I might be the one making all of the demands, but she’s the one to slide my fingers out of her. Then she leaves me completely speechless by popping my fingers between her lips and sucking her own taste off of me. It’s shocking, but sexy as hell, and leaves me wanting more.

  I tug her just inside the front door and slam it behind us, no longer wanting a single thing that we do to be seen by other people. This is for us, and us alone. We don’t want this ruined by being caught. Then I take Rebecca’s body and I spin her around rapidly before pushing her up against the cool wall and leaning against her. Not that the coldness of the wall does anything to calm down the red flushed heat in her body. She’s on fire for me.

  “I need you like this,” I growl as I tug her panties to one side. “I need you, Rebecca.”

  “Take me.” She pushes her ass out towards me and shoots me a sultry look over her shoulder.

  “I don’t think you know how hot you look right now. Even fully clothed, you are like sex on legs.”

  “Then take me already, will you?” she moans. “I can’t stand waiting any longer.”

  Well, she doesn’t need to ask me twice. I want nothing more than to feel her wrapped around me. So, I do as she commands. I push my cock into her, passion flooding me as I do. It doesn’t matter what’s going on around us, whenever I am inside of Rebecca, I know that this is where I am supposed to be. Everything makes sense when we are connected like this…

  “Shit.” I stroke the curve of her ass as I slam into her over and over again. “Oh, Rebecca.”

  She replies, I can hear her saying all kind of things to me, but I can’t focus on the things being said, only the deep vibrating base of her words. I really am on another planet, swallowed up by pleasure, consumed by this intense desire.

  I snap my eyes open, aware once more as Rebecca’s body stiffens up and her walls clamp tightly around me. She’s close to the edge, about to tumble into the abyss and she needs me to tip her over the edge. I snake my fingers around her waist and take her clit between my fingers once more to make sure that she really feels every inch of the orgasm.

  As Rebecca loses all control of herself, coaxing the orgasm from me at the same time, I get a rush of love for this woman. I hug her tightly to me, wanting to cling to her forever and never let go again. I know that we’re in a fight, but as I come hard and fast inside of her, it’s difficult to remember what about. Does it even matter? I’m sure that it can’t when it feels this wonderful for us to be together.

  Oh, who the fuck cares what the smart thing to do is? I love this woman and I want to give everything of myself to her. I can’t let anything get in our way again…

  * * *

  When did the air become so cold? When did that thick horrible tension come back again? I stare at Rebecca, wondering what the hell is going through her mind now. I can’t read her. I would love to be able to read her mind, see where she’s at now, but I can’t. I used to be able to, no problem, but ever since she found out I lied to her things have changed. I naively thought that we would be able to get past that, but now I’m not so sure.

  “Are you okay?” I ask Rebecca, trying to break the silence.

  “Erm, yes...” she sounds far less like someone who is okay than anyone I’ve ever heard before. “I think so. I just don’t know if we really sorted things out, did we? The conversation sort of fell apart, didn’t it?”

  “I suppose.” Shit. I suppose we didn’t. “I don’t really know where we can go from here. All the things we said before were true, but we can’t ignore this chemistry, can we? We’ve proven that we can’t keep away from one another...”

  She steps away from me, creating a chasm of distance. And not just physical distance, I can feel her mentally switching herself off and building up the walls around her. It’s almost as if she’s trying to prove to herself that there is no chemistry. Rebecca’s walls aren’t easy to pull down, it took me over a year to even attempt it, so if they’re going back up again, that’s where they might stay.

  “We kept away from one another for a year. It’s only because of the decision to live in the same house again that it all went wrong.” She shrugs and smiles thinly at me, but the sadness is evident in her eyes. “So, we should just not see each other like I said. Keep it easy on ourselves.”

  “Is that what you want?” The hopelessness rolls off my tongue. “I know you said it’s the smartest thing for us to do, but is that what you want? Really?”

  “It’s what you want, isn’t it? That’s what you basically made it seem like all day long.”

  I can’t really answer that, I don’t know what to say because she’s right. Logically, I know it’s the best thing for us to do. For us to walk away from one another and continue as things were before. For Jenny, because we get on better that way. But my emotions aren’t logical, and I can’t resist wanting to go with them. How am I supposed to ignore that deep yearning sensation in the pit of my stomach which loves Rebecca? I want to work through anything with her because I know that when things are good, it’s worth the fight. It’s too strong for me to completely ignore it for the rest of my life. I didn’t even make it one whole year without falling apart.

  “Anyway...” Rebecca pulls away from me and starts to head towards the door, straightening herself out as she does. “I already told Jenny that I’m leaving tonight, and I won’t be here when she wakes up. She’s already been upset about it, so I don’t want to confuse her further by being here. You have her until the 2nd of January and we can sort things out from there. It might be better if you just get in touch with me to let me know how Jenny is, but not for anything else. Give us both some space.”

  I should say something. There are so many things that I should say, so many ways in which I can make this right, but I don’t. I remain tight lipped and silent, watching her go. The love of my life is leaving, the woman that I wanted to remarry is about to go for good, this is our last chance ever for us to make it work, and I am doing nothing.

  What are you doing? My brain screams at me. What the hell are you doing? Why are you letting her go?

  My plan flies out the window, everything that I thought was going to happen is vanishing into thin air, I am being left with nothing. Absolutely nothing and I only have myself to blame.

  “Sorry, Rebecca,” I whisper after her as she goes. “Sorry that I am so awful, that I keep fucking things up. I’m sorry.”

  But of course, she doesn’t answer me, she doesn’t even hear me. I didn’t say it loud enough for her to be able to pick up my words. I hope she knows how I feel about her though, I hope she knows I’m just trying to do what’s right. Because if we do make it back together and we continue fighting like we have been, she keeps not trusting me and I keep getting upset about things, then Jenny will be the only one to suffer.

  “I was wrong,” I whisper sadly to myself, my chest cracking, my heart smashing into smithereens, my body crumbling and falling apart. The divorce is going to stick after all. I shouldn’t have tried to fight it, that was silly. I should have just accepted it like a rational person.

  If only I had known that in the first place, then we wouldn’t have had these last few days of heartache. I reopened the wounds thinking that it would be ok to bleed because we could fix ourselves back up together, but now all I can see is the
blood all over the floor.

  I guess I am going to have to start thinking about my life without her. I’m going to have to make plans alone. I don’t want to, I’ve never wanted to, but I’m not being left with any choice...

  29

  Rebecca

  December 31st

  This isn’t where I want to be right now. I knew I wasn’t going to want to come to this night club tonight, I even told Maggie as much over and over again, but as usual she wouldn’t listen to me. She refused to hear me and then she reminded me that she is making all of my life decisions now. Something that I agreed to on more than one occasion but I’m now regretting. When I said life decisions, I meant I wanted her to stop me from doing stupid stuff, not bringing me to party’s that I am not interested in.

  And this dress... this dress is too tight, too short, too sparkly. Why did I let Maggie talk me into it? I wasn’t comfortable in it in the store, and I’m even more uncomfortable now. It feels like everyone is staring at me, feasting their hungry eyes all over me, judging me and wondering what the hell I’m doing here. It’s obvious I don’t fit in, and I’m sure everyone can see it as well as I do.

  “Where the hell is Maggie?” I ask myself angrily. “Has she really just left me here?”

  She was beside me only a moment ago but then a guy offered to buy her a drink and she melted into the crowd. I don’t know what happened to her, and there are too many people here for me to find her again now. I’m pretty much on my own, which makes this whole experience even more uncomfortable.

  To try and give myself something to do with my hands, I take a swig of my drink, but unfortunately the glass is empty. The drinks here are free, that’s what Maggie sold me on, the open bar, but I didn’t think about the endless lines to get a drink. It’s barely even worth the effort. I suppose I could go and join the end of the line now since it beats standing here by myself, and I may see Maggie while I’m there, but I can’t work up the effort. I need to pee as well, but I can’t be bothered to go to the bathroom either. I really am just stuck here, in another rut of my own making.

  You are pathetic, I tell myself sadly. Absolutely sad. You can’t even enjoy yourself at the biggest New Year’s Eve party of the year. You know that your daughter is fine with her father, and this is the perfect chance for you to enjoy yourself, but you aren’t. Instead all you’re doing is thinking about everywhere else you would like to be instead of here.

  Well, let’s be honest, there is really only one place I would like to be instead of here. I would prefer to be at Taylor’s, with my family, seeing in the new year with them. I can picture them now, sitting on the couch, watching TV, waiting for the ball to drop. That was always mine and Taylor’s tradition, we never went out to parties on the busiest night of the year, we just spent it together because there was no one else we wanted to spend time with.

  If I slide my eyes closed, I can practically feel his arms around me on the couch, hugging me and making jokes about our New Year’s resolutions. We never did serious ones, it was always just silliness, such as nagging less about the dishes, or always waking up with a smile. The sort of thing we considered actually achievable, not that we ever went through with it.

  As my eyes open and my ears accept the sound once more, bringing me back to the nightclub, I’m know what I want to do next. Absolutely certain. I know that me and Taylor ended things on bad terms and that we decided not to contact one another again unless it was for Jenny’s sake because that’s the smart thing to do, but I can’t stand this place anymore. I’m pretty sure that Maggie vanished over an hour ago with the guy she met, and she isn’t coming back. She’s had a few to drink and I’m not exactly being any fun anyway, so I can’t blame her for forgetting about me... but that doesn’t mean I need to stand around and wait for her to come back for me either. I can send her a text to let her know that I’m going, then head out of here and do something that I really want to. I don’t have to suffer in this night club, I can go home if I want... Or maybe even Taylor’s house, if I’m feeling brave enough. I don’t know who I am, I’m not sure I had enough to drink to be that brave, but I certainly don’t want to be in this place anymore. Night clubs are too loud for me, not fun.

  Once I have fired off a text, I push my way through the crowds, managing to find a smile on my face. It isn’t the easiest to get out of a party that everyone else is desperate to get in to, but somehow, I manage it. Soon, the cool night air washes over me, and floods me with relief. So much relief that it’s like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

  Yep, this is what I need to do, getting out of that party was the best decision I could have made for myself. I’m already much happier here.

  “A cab!” I can’t believe my luck as I find one just waiting outside. Without even thinking about it, I jump in the backseat, reeling in my luck. People can’t just get a cab on New Year’s Eve, so this has to be a sign. A good sign. A great one, actually.

  “Where are you going, miss?” he asks me, sounding bored, with only a cursory glance in his rearview mirror.

  “Erm...” Where am I going? Home, or to Taylor’s house? I probably should have made this decision before I got in the car, but it all happened so quickly. Head or heart... which one do I follow now? It seems like whichever one I go for; will have to be the decision I stick with for the rest of my life. I can’t keep flip flopping between choices. Life doesn’t work that way. Especially when you have a child in the mix.

  “Miss, do you really need to go somewhere? Because I need you to make up your mind either way. I have a lot of people wanting to get in my car tonight.”

  He isn’t giving me any time, so I need to make my choice quickly. I reel off Taylor’s address rapidly and lean back against the chair while I try and prepare myself for what I’m going to say when I get there. I’m going to have a hell of a lot of explaining to do.

  Yet even though it’s scary, there’s a smile on my face. This is the choice which leaves me the most vulnerable, it’s also the one I want the most. I know for sure that if I don’t at least try again, I will always wonder what could have been. I will always question if I gave up the love of my life just because I was afraid.

  It isn’t long until we get there. The journey feels far too quick for my liking. I haven’t had any time to get my head in order, but it seems like that opportunity is done now. I hand over some dollar bills to the driver, a lot of dollar bills, it’s expensive tonight but I suppose that’s to be expected for New Year’s Eve. I step outside the car, trying to prepare myself for what I hope is the most romantic reunion of all time.

  “He might send you away again,” I whisper as a little reminder to myself. “He might kick you out, and you will have to go... at least then you’ll know. There won’t be any more questions.”

  With that thought in mind, I force my legs forward, towards the front door. I might be shaking all over, but it’s a good trembling, the shuddering of anticipation for what might come next.

  Knock, knock. The sound is loud as I bang my fist against the door. Knock, knock.

  No one answers for a while. I even knock a few more times and press my ear against the door to see if I can hear movement. I’m disappointed at the thought that they may be already in bed, not bothering with the family tradition either. Maybe there is no point in watching the fireworks and the ball drop if we aren’t all together.

  If that’s the case, then I’m going to be left standing outside Taylor’s home in my stupid slinky dress which doesn’t protect me at all from the cold. I knew I should have brought a coat. Why didn’t I bring a coat? Perhaps sometimes I can trust my own instincts after all.

  “What now?” I fold my arms across my chest, trying to stop myself from shivering, but goosebumps pop all over my skin regardless. I don’t know if I have the cash to get myself another taxi back home, so I actually might be that person sleeping outside of someone else’s home. In my ex’s front yard. Wow, what a way to bring in the new year...

 
“Oh my God.” I practically jump as I hear the door clicking open. “Oh, thank God.”

  But it isn’t Taylor looking back at me, a set of female eyes greet me, and they light up the moment they find me.

  “Mommy!” Jenny tosses her arms around me and she grips on me tightly. She links her fingers around me as if she’s afraid to let me go because I might vanish again. “You’re here. I knew you would be. I told Daddy you would come.”

  Now I’m happier than ever that I picked Taylor’s home over my own. To think about Jenny sitting here waiting for me to come and me being at home... that’s heartbreaking.

  “And you look so pretty, Mommy.” She looks at me like I’m a shining star in the sky, reminding me that even when things are bad, I still have something amazing. “I like your dress. Come inside.”

  The house is immediately warm, it makes me feel so much better, I’m relieved to be inside for so many reasons. One of them being wrapped around me right now.

  “Let’s go and see Daddy. He’s watching TV. He told me that no one was at the door and I was right. You are here.”

  Taylor isn’t expecting me even if Jenny was, so this could still all go horribly wrong. I brace myself, trying to prepare for that look in his eyes when he notices that I have arrived.

  “What were you and Daddy doing?” I ask quietly, trying to gear myself up for what I am about to find.

  “Watching the TV. You know what we always do, but it wasn’t the same without you, Mommy.”

  “No, my night wasn’t the same without either of you,” I reply honestly. “I would much rather be here to see the New Year with you.”