by Maine, Miley
I rush down the stairs and out the door all while plastering a giant fake smile on my face.
“Travis, hi!” He runs off the bus and into my arms, just as he does every single day because he trusts me. But now I am about to break that trust, and his heart as well. I would love to remain in this moment for a little while longer, but I can’t because he is already pulling back from me, looking towards me for answers. “Come inside, I need to talk to you.”
“Oh no.” He can sense that something is up. The color is already draining from his face. “We are moving again, aren’t we?”
Wow, is it really that obvious to a young boy? Is he that switched on to us moving to a new house like this?
“Well, I thought for a little while it would be cool for us to go to a motel.” I want to make it sound like an adventure. I want him to think that it’s going to be fun. “Won’t that be exciting? To stay somewhere we’ve never been to before?”
“No.” He folds his arms across his chest. “It won’t be fun. It’s never fun. You always say that it’s going to be fun, but it isn’t.”
“Well, this time will be different...”
“I don’t want to move,” he yells. “I don’t want to leave my school. I don’t want to leave this house. I like it here...”
I grit my teeth, resisting the urge to tell him that I like it as well, but we don’t have a choice. I don’t want this to turn in to a row when it’s supposed to be something that doesn’t sound like fun.
“Well, we need to try. We have to give this a go.”
“No,” he screams again. “No, I won’t do it. I won’t move. I refuse...”
Before I can even part my lips to say anything else, his little legs run. He takes off out of the yard and runs along the sidewalk. I’m in shock which means it takes a couple of moments for my legs to snap into gear. It takes a moment for my brain to connect and for me to realize what’s going on. By that time, he is out of sight, and it’s my turn to start screaming and yelling.
“Travis,” I belt out so loudly it makes my lungs ache. “Travis, wait. Come back. No, Travis don’t do this.”
I almost want to collapse to the ground, I nearly want to give up, but I can’t. I have to keep going, for him...
15
Marc
December 30th
“Travis, what are you doing? Please come back.”
I haven’t ever heard anyone sound so panicked before, certainly not Aisha. She’s usually much more composed than this. Aside from when she’s angry at me of course. And even then, she isn’t like this.
“Aisha.” I race over to her, assuming that if something serious is going on, then it won’t matter that we had a petty argument. She won’t be worried about some stupid diamond necklace if something has happened to her son. “Aisha, what’s happened?”
She’s in such a state of panic that she barely even hears me. I have to hold on to her arms and turn her to face me, so she finally meets my eyes. The stare I get back is one so terrified that it makes my blood run ice cold. This is even worse than I thought it was going to be.
“Oh my God, what has happened? Where is Travis? Why isn’t he here right now? Why are you yelling after him?”
“I... I have called the police.” She’s shaking all over. “They told me I have to stay by the house until they arrive. They won’t let me go and look for Travis. They said he might come back to the house and I have to wait to see if he does.”
What the hell? This makes absolutely no sense. Why are the police involved? Why does it seem like Travis isn’t here?
“Where is Travis right now?” I asked her in a clear-cut tone, needing to make myself heard. “Why isn’t he here? What has happened?”
“He got upset.” The tears are now streaming down her face. “I upset him without meaning to. He ran off. He went too quick for me to catch him. I was all in shock and froze, and he just took off. I don’t know which direction he went in. I don’t know where he is. He’s my son and I don’t know where he is. He is only six years, Marc, he could be anywhere. Anything could have happened to him. I want to go and find him, but they won’t let me.”
“I will go,” I say instinctively. “I will take the car and go and look for him. You stay here and wait for the police; I will see what I can do. I know him, I can use that knowledge to try and find him.”
“You would do that for Travis?” she asks me helplessly as if this isn’t just an obvious thing that I would do. “You would go and find him?”
“Of course.” I release my grip on her. “I would do anything for Travis, you know how much I adore that boy. I’m going to go now, but I will keep in touch with you and let you know what is happening.”
“Thank you,” she gasps out. “Thank you so much. I would like to go and look, but I’m not allowed as I already told you. I will be here. I will be here until the police have been.”
“You stay,” I reassure her. “Whatever happens because the police are right. Travis might come back home, and he will want you here. He will need you.”
Thankfully, this seems to get through to her and she nods rapidly. “I will. I’ll wait here. Thank you, Marc.”
I jump into the car quicker than I have ever moved before and I begin to drive around in a bit of a blind panic. I don’t know how much use I am being really, which must be another reason why the police have told Aisha to stay at home. An emotional attachment to the missing child certainly messes with a person’s ability to search in a calm and considerate manner. And I really do have an emotional attachment to Travis. I adore the kid. I feel like we have a bond separate to what I have shared with Aisha. We both have a friendship of our own. My heart pounds painfully at the idea of him missing or in any kind of danger.
“Something really bad must have happened,” I say to myself as I practically spin around the corner. “Travis wouldn’t just run off like that. Not for nothing. Whatever has been going on in Aisha’s life must be worse than I thought.”
But I can’t focus on that right now. I can’t worry about what’s going on with Aisha, because I need to get in the right frame of mind to find Travis. I need to think like a scared six-year-old little boy, someone who has just heard something devastating, and consider where he might have gone.
“The park!” All of a sudden, it hits me hard. I remember getting upset with my mother once after an argument over my curfew. Thinking that I might still obey her and stay out later than she said anyway, I headed to the park because it was the most fun place in town.
I might be pushing it, but perhaps Travis has done the same thing. Maybe it’s the only place he could think to go as well.
I don’t know if I’m going to find anything, but since I don’t have any other lead to go off, that’s where I take the car. I park it up as quickly as I can, and I run in to the park.
“Travis!” I’m far too panicked to just look. I have to call his name. “Travis, are you here? Where are you? If you are here, I need you to come out right away because everyone is worried about you.”
At first, I get nothing, my heart starts to sink, I feel like I might throw up. But soon, just as I’m about to give up, I hear a small rustling sound, followed by a little whimper. A cry so quiet I would have missed it if I won’t be listening out so intently.
“Travis, is that you?” I demand. “I need you to show me where you are, right now.”
Finally, he reveals his small, tear sodden face and I immediately feel awful for being so harsh with my words. Clearly, this little boy is so broken over something, and now I need to find out why.
“Oh, Travis.” I race over to him and envelope him in a hug. “Are you okay? I have been so worried about you. We all are.”
“Where is Mommy?” he asks through choked sobs. “Is she here?”
“Not at the moment, buddy, she’s at home waiting for you to come back.”
“It isn’t our home anymore,” he bites back, his temper coming out through his sadness. He’s a bit like his mom in
that regard. “We have to move out. Mommy said we have to go and live in a motel. She said it would be fun, but I know it won’t be. It never is. I hate moving and I really don’t want to leave now because I have friends here. I like my school. I like where I live as well.” He folds his arms across his chest and stares at me defiantly. “Mommy never gives me a choice either. She just decides for me. She has always done that. She never asks. Why doesn’t she ask?”
My heart absolutely breaks for him. There is no way he can understand what’s going on, and it’s going to be difficult for me to explain as well. It isn’t really my place to either, but I do want him to see that isn’t his mother’s fault.
“Sometimes adults aren’t given a choice either,” I tell him. “That’s why it seems like you aren’t given any option. Because your mother isn’t either. She would want to stay where you are happy.”
“So, why can’t we?” Travis shrugs his shoulders helplessly. “I don’t understand. Mom never explains it to me. I’m not a baby. It isn’t fair.”
I hug him tight to my chest, hopefully giving him just a little bit of comfort. I can’t have all of his problems, but I hope I can make him feel a little less alone.
Actually, considering I’m pretty sure that all of these problems could be solved with money, I could make everything better for him... if Aisha would let me. But she seems determined to push me away right now. I don’t think she will take any help from me.
“We can’t solve anything by running away,” I say instead, trying my hardest to do the right thing. “We need to go back to your house to see your mom. We can’t let her worry any longer.”
“I don’t want to go back, because then I will have to leave. Please let me just hide out here, my mommy can’t make me move if I don’t go home.”
“Your mommy is crying her eyes out right now.” I’m a little firmer this time. I really need you to understand. “We have to go home, and we have to leave right now. When we get back, I will speak to your mom, and make sure that she has a talk with you. Maybe when you understand things, it won’t feel quite so bad.”
I can see in his eyes that he is still worried about having to go. I’m concerned about that on his behalf, to be honest, I don’t want him to have to leave everything he loves here, and not just because I have paid the school fees. I do have an idea in mind which I intend to put in to action the moment we get back and have sorted things out with the police, but I can’t promise Travis anything. I don’t want to end up lying to him without meaning to.
But if I get my own way, then he won’t be going anywhere. Starting with a phone call as soon as we get into the car. I am going to call Aisha’s landlord and get him to give her a little bit of lee way. At least for tonight. He can let them stay one more night, even if it costs me. Just to give them a little bit of breathing space. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal for him to kick her out so quickly anyway. It certainly doesn’t seem right to me.
“Okay, I will come,” Travis finally says sadly. “I will come back home. But please help me with Mommy. I want her to see how much I want to stay.”
“I will do my best.” At least I can promise that much. “Now, come on. We need to make this right. You know that don’t you?”
“I never wanted to upset Mommy,” he said sadly. “I just don’t like not being heard.”
“I understand,” I reassure him. “No one does. But that doesn’t mean we can just run off. She isn’t going to be annoyed with you though. Your mom just wants you home.”
“You think she will forgive me?”
“Of course, she will.” I smile reassuringly at him. “I just know that once she knows you’re safe, she will be over the moon. I bet she will hug you and never stop.”
Travis takes my hand and I lead him back to my car. I strap him in the back seat, now much calmer and able to drive sensibly then I was before, and I head off. I immediately have to make the phone call to the landlord, to distract me from my thoughts otherwise I will get off all tied up in knots.
Today has been just another day on the roller coaster with Aisha. I have to admit on a day like this when it’s really low, I feel a bit dizzy and sick. But I don’t want to get off. Not yet. Hopefully not ever. But it certainly isn’t easy to be with her. I haven’t ever been through anything like this before, and I’m sure I never will again. Aisha is definitely unique.
16
Aisha
December 30th
“Oh my God!” I break free from the police officer as soon as I see Marc’s car. It looks like there is another person in it, which I desperately hope is my son. I can’t cope with the idea of not being with him for another second longer. “Marc! Did you find him? Did you find Travis?”
The passenger door swings open and my boy comes flying out of the car. He races into my arms and we hug tight. I can’t believe how awful today has been, I never want to go through anything like that again. The fact that Travis reacted so strongly to the idea of us moving again only highlights the fact that I have failed him. I have let him down in a way that I really shouldn’t have done. Right now, I know that I would do absolutely anything in the world to make him happy again, to keep him with me, to make sure that he never runs off.
But what can I do? What choice do I have? How can I make him happy again?
“Travis, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you like that. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry too, Mommy.” He sounds like he is weeping just as strongly as I am. “I didn’t mean to make you worry. I just want to stay here. I’m scared to move again. I like here and I don’t want to go anywhere.”
“I know, I know.” I pull back to look at him and see the fear and heart break in his face. I would do anything in the world to take that away from him. “I would love to stay here as well. I would love to find a way to make it work, and I’ll try. I’ll look to see if there is a motel nearby. So, it doesn’t have to affect your schooling...”
I don’t know if I can do anything that I am promising but I’m so desperate to try. Having him back after he went missing has really changed my perspective on everything.
“Mommy, I just want to be with you now, wherever you are. And Marc spoke to the man and we can stay in our house tonight.”
“Which man?” I gasp in shock. “The landlord? How did he manage that?”
Travis shrugs and I stare up at Marc who simply nods in agreement. There is a small smile playing on his lips, I can see that he has done everything he can to help us out. He has got us a night, which at least means I don’t have to panic. I don’t have to get out right now.
“What did you do?” I mouth. But he doesn’t give me anything back. He just smiles and turns to face the police officer who I presume he has been talking to. I really hope he is clearing things up because I don’t want to speak to them anymore. I don’t have anything left to say. Travis is back, my problems are sorted... well, one problem is.
Eventually, it seems that Marc really has sorted things out because he’s something of a superhero, and we can all head back inside. I tried to talk to Travis a bit, to see if I can get inside his head and find out what’s going on, but I guess the emotional exhaustion has hit him and he is too tired to talk. I will have to wait until the morning, to try and really smooth things out.
Instead, I do the best thing for him that I can, and I tuck him in to bed. As I say goodnight to him, I let him know how much I love him. I say it over and over again. I need him to know how much I adore him, how I never want him to leave me again even though I understand why he did it. Of course, I cry a little bit more as well, but I don’t see there is any escaping my emotions right now. I’m a mess.
“Are you okay?” Marc asks as soon as I heard back down the stairs. “Can I do anything to help you?”
I run towards him and throw my arms around him in a hug. I know we have been arguing, but all of that flies out the window since he saved my boy’s life.
“You have done enough,” I cry out. “I am so gratef
ul to you. You saved Travis. You found him and took care of him. You brought him back to me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
I lean my head to his chest and listen to every beat of his racing heart. It’s a comforting sound which I never want to stop listening to.
“As long as Travis is okay, and you are alright too, that’s all that matters to me,” he practically whispers to me. “I don’t like seeing either of you being upset and hurt like that.”
He really does care, I can tell, and perhaps that’s why all of this is so hard for me. Knowing that Marc would do anything in the world to help me and he has only been in my life for a short period of time, and the people who are supposed to care about me refuse to help me, it’s too much. That’s why I freaked out and yelled about the diamond necklace. That’s why I pushed him away. But now I don’t ever want to leave him again. I want him to remain by my side forever.
“But tomorrow...” I murmur against his chest. “Tomorrow. I have to go. The landlord won’t let me have any more time...”
“I actually wanted to talk to you about that.” Marc takes a step back from me and tenses up. I can tell that he’s nervous about what he’s about to say. “I have an idea about something that can help you...”
“You have already helped me enough,” I declare, not wanting to take anything else from him. “I can’t take anything else from you.”
“This technically isn’t anything else...” he tells me mysteriously. “This is something that I have already asked you, so it’s not new. It’s just me asking you again.”
“What?” I honestly have no idea what he’s talking about. “What have you asked me?”
He’s asked me all kinds of different things so I have no idea what he could specifically be referring to.
“I will pay your debts off... if you come to live with me.”
