You Might Be a Liberal
Page 27
So naturally, if Republicans used that line of attack against Romney, then the liberal Democrats had to match that—and then lower it to yet another level. And that’s where we get the cancer ad. Apparently companies exist to provide jobs and healthcare, and therefore, anyone who has run a company that ever reduced their workforce and their healthcare is evil, and these evil rich people have no credibility on creating jobs.
Pass me my bong and my iPhone, please.
The problem with this thinking is that it totally ignores the validity to Romney’s claim that his private sector experience is what the nation needs now in the White House. Why neither the Romney Campaign nor Romney himself are able to articulate it any better is also a problem. I can only assume they are so eaten up with conventional wisdom and group think—two more diseases contracted from exposure to liberals—that they have forgotten how to speak to normal people about normal things.
And one normal concept that normal people understand is that businesses are started with the express purpose of turning a profit on the delivery of goods and/or services they produce. They are of no use to anyone unless they can do this. Thus, if they have to lay folks off or cut back on benefits to survive as a company, then that is what they must do. Anyone running them must make those decisions. Why is this so hard?
This being the case, it is simply a flawed argument to debate any issue from the standpoint that a company owes anyone a job or owes anyone a benefit package. Romney’s expertise on the economy had better flow from an understanding that as a CEO, he knows when to hire and when to fire. And that, as a private equity investor, he knows when to buy and when to sell. That great economist Kenny Rogers had it right when he told us “you have to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run…”
Without that understanding of reality in the economy, there can be no real job growth. Job growth is not borrowing more money from our kids and grandkids so we can temporarily hire “more teachers, firefighters and cops.” Thus Romney should just come out and say that running a company involves hiring and firing at certain times. The time to fire is when Obama is in the White House. The time to hire is when Obama leaves the White House. Too many on our side have ceded the idea that what Bain did to the Soptics was awful, but since Mitt was not at Bain at the time, it doesn’t matter. That’s not at all the point conservatives should be making. We have let the liberals jump the shark successfully in the debate if we entertain it on those terms.
Which brings us to what happened in November of 2008, immediately after Obama was elected. The Romney’s of the world laid off 533,000 workers. They laid off more than that in December and even more than that in January of 2009. They got a jump on Obamanomics by shedding almost 2 million workers before Obama took office. That’s what business people do. They look down the road and “around the corner,” and make their moves ahead of time. This is a very important talent.
Of course, you can’t tell a liberal any of this. They look at the world as a political game and filter everything through the template of which party controls the White House. Many folks rarely delve any deeper than that. If something bad happens while a pro-life Republican is in the White House, then that proves conservatism and the free market has failed us. Rationally demonstrating that the two million jobs lopped off between Election Day and inauguration day were obviously done in anticipation of Obama, Reid and Pelosi being in power just does not compute. And yet, if you ask anyone who actually participated, and I did to the tune of about eighty jobs, this is exactly what happened.
Romney has demonstrated the talent of knowing when to hire and when to fire. Most small business owners have too. Whether you build a small business from scratch or learn how to analyze a larger one from the balance sheet, there is a gut reaction that informs when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em. In the case of the steel industry that employed Joe Soptic, there has been a lot of folding going on in this country. Why? Liberalism. Yes, overly powerful unions and intrusive government regulations have made American steel non-competitive.
Thus, Mr. Soptic was laid off because the very things he believes in destroyed his chosen field. This happens a lot to liberals, by the way. Michigan and the auto industry comes to mind. Thus, if Mr. Romney had personally delivered Soptic his pink slip, smoked a cigarette and giggled while doing so, it should not matter. Forget when Mitt left Bain. All that information does is expose the Obama Campaign and Super PAC as liars. Who didn’t already know that? The idea that we are fighting this battle on that turf means we have given up defending the idea that business owners have the right do to what is necessary to keep their doors open.
And we cannot concede that. The left will always exploit tragedy when they can. The death of Soptic’s wife is a sad turn of events, indeed. No one would wish that on any family. But it’s not Bain’s fault. It’s not Mitt’s fault. It’s not the fault of free enterprise in action. And it’s not even the fault of the Obama supporter who ran Bain at the time the mill was shut down. As conservatives, we must keep our eye on the ball, and not let the liberals take us so far off course emotionally that we give up crucial ground intellectually.
Which may be tough at times, because liberals will say and do anything to distract from the intellectual bankruptcy of their ideas.
YMBAL’S #34
If you know that the Republican Medicare plan does not impact anyone over fifty-five, and yet still want to scare seniors with it…
If you stood up and cheered when Mike Dukakis announced he was a “card carrying member of the ACLU…”
If you are more impressed by Obama who gives away my money than you are by Romney, who gives away his own money…
If you think Mitt Romney was on the grassy knoll helping Lee Harvey Oswald kill Kennedy…
If you think Mitt Romney tied his dog to the top of his private jet…
If you think Republicans go out of their way to organize manatee hunts…
If you are more concerned about what might happen with a couple of loose Bucky Balls than you are with the guns Eric Holder gave to Mexican drug lords…
If you’ve ever beaten a rap for stalking or harassment because you flashed your union card…
If you are wealthy, and lecture the nation about being “our brothers’ keepers,” and yet you have a half brother in so much poverty they are calling journalists for assistance…
If you think that Obama’s budget, which got zero votes in the Senate, was a “serious” budget proposal…
...you might be a liberal. (YMBAL)
“Unemployment benefits are creating jobs faster than practically any other program.”
—Nancy Pelosi
“(We) can’t put them in prison unless you release them.”
—Harry Reid on Gitmo detainees
I believe in natural gas as a clean, cheap alternative to fossil fuels. It’s cheap, abundant and clean compared to fossil fuels.”
—Nancy Pelosi
“And liberals think WE are stupid.”
—Herman Cain
SUBMIT YOUR OWN YMBAL!
We would love to hear any ideas you might have for just who “might be a liberal.” Please feel free to drop us a line at jokes@YMBALbook.com with your one liners. It’s important that we properly identify all liberals and we need your help. We just might use these on a website and on Twitter and Facebook to help with this identification project. And for the record, once you send ‘em, they are ours. Our liberal lawyers told us to say that. And if that offends you, then YOU MIGHT BE A LIBERAL!
END NOTES
1) The case with Holder’s speech to 2012 NAACP
2) http://dailycaller.com/2012/07/09/report-83-percent-of-doctors-have-considered-quitting-over-obamacare/
3) As Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood has in 2012
4) As was actually the claim by the Obama Administration’s bureacrats at the USDA: http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/06/21/USDA-Food-Stamps-Will-Help-You-Look-Your-Be
st
5) Claimed by Michelle in summer 2012
6) And you may be attending an Hispanic Obama rally
7) Which happened in California concerning trees planted by ordinance years ago that are now blocking liberal neighbor’s solar panels.
8) You would be MSNBC host Joe Scarborough
9) You may be young Barry Sotero in high school, according to one of his multiple memoirs.
10) As analogized by Obama in an economic plan speech in spring, 2012.
11) Obama’s own words.
12) Obama and Jeremiah Wright in 2008
13) You might be an IRS agent.
14) Conservative Larry Kudlow praised Warren’s intelligence during TARP discussions in 2008.
15) Don Savage, gay anti-bullying speaker who cursed at Christian teens, and ironically called them “pansy asses” at National High School Journalism Conference.
16) NY State Senator Carl Kruger and his gynecologist boyfriend were convicted of bribery.
17) Apparently an option at www.gay.com government website
18) Mayor Bloomberg, NYC
19) “This president has brought us out of the dark and into the light.” Michelle Obama
20) See Dr. Pepper TEN ad campaign
21) You would be Mayor Bloomberg, NYC. Again. http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/food/story/2012-07-09/ Coke-Pepsi-fight-soda-ban/56279302/1
22) You would be Kanye West.
23) http://abcnews.go.com/Business/colorado-family-fights-squatters-home/story?id=16788680#.UAW32Y5U7G4
24) http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1724940
25) http://www.news4jax.com/news/Smash-mob-causes-havoc-at-Walmart/-/475880/15568130/-/18sbtjz/-/index.html
26) http://nation.foxnews.com/ft-hood-shooting/2011/12/07/obama-regime-calls-ft-hood-shooting-workplace-violence
27) http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2012/07/14/Democrats-fake-fight-ohio
28) You might be Feminist Journalist Cinnamon Heathcote-Drury.
29) You might be Obama, repeated speeches about corporate profits.
30) You might be Suzi Landolphi.
31) You might be Graham Spanier of Penn State.
32) You might be analyst Mark Plotkin on CNN excusing DC Mayoral conduct.
33) “In 2005 the hospital raised her salary from $120,000 to $317,000—nearly twice what her husband made as a Senator. Her husband, Barak Obama, had just become a US Senator. He sure had. He requested a $1 million earmark for the UC Medical Center, in fact.. Way to network, Michelle—-Now that Mrs...Obama has resigned, the hospital says her position will remain unfilled. How can that be, if the work she did was vital enough to be worth $317,000 ? Let me add that Michelle’s position was a part time, 20 hour a week job.” – Mark Steyn
34) You would be Charlotte Stoker Manning of the NAACP.
35) San Bernadino, California
36) http://www.newsobserver.com/2012/07/03/2176029/how-a-lawmakers-mistaken-vote.html
37) City of Raleigh, North Carolina, 2010 drought restrictions.
38) Scranton, Pennsylvania, 2012
39) Howard Dean left his Episcopal church for this reason.
40) You might be liberal designer Sim Van der Ryn.
41) You might be Jesse Jackson Jr.
42) Jesse Jackson in defense of Clinton in the Lewinsky affair.
43) Ted Kennedy was a huge proponent of a Cuban-style medical system in this country, and yet received expensive treatments for cancer at Duke University, not in Havana.
44) You might be Chuck Schumer.
45) You might be Danica Patrick.
46) You might be Nicholas Kristof of the New York Times.
47) MSNBC and Christine O’ Donnell over Constitutional language.
48) http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/obama-thanks-gay-porn-kingpin_648937.html?tw_p=twt
49) Barack Obama and Halle Berry fit this description.
50) You might be Gwen Ifill.
51) http://www.americanthinker.com/2012/07/inevitably_controversial_melinda_gates_and_contraception_for_the_poor.html#ixzz21LkSVgYS
52) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkpdNtTgQNM
53) You might be George Stephanopolous and Brian Ross of ABC News. http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Journalism/2012/07/20/It-Begins-ABC-Ross-Stephanolpoulos-Point-to-Tea-Party-for-Dark-Knight-Shooting
54) You might be George Kaiser. http://freebeacon.com/cronyism-built-that/
55) “USDA and the government of Mexico have entered into a partnership to help educate eligible Mexican nationals living in the United States about available nutrition assistance,” the USDA explains in a brief paragraph on their “Reaching Low-Income Hispanics With Nutrition Assistance” web page. “Mexico will help disseminate this information through its embassy and network of approximately 50 consular offices.” Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2012/07/19/usda-partnering-with-mexico-to-boost-food-stamp-participation/#ixzz214HC5IVx
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
C. Edmund Wright has been a full time observer of how liberalism bungles everything since the 1980’s, when he was the lone conservative in an ad/ PR/polling firm full of leftists, and again in the 1990’s when dealing with the moderates in the 1992 Bush-Quayle campaign. As a husband, father and owner of a number of businesses since then, Wright didn’t realize liberal observation was his full time job until the early 2000’s. Along the way, it dawned on him that everything that was complicating his business, family, liberty and the ability to earn and keep something called discretionary income was related to liberalism. At the root of every problem he faced was inevitably some liberal person, some liberal rule, or perhaps some otherwise normal person who had let some bit of liberalism sully their thinking.
Wright resides in North Carolina, where he lives with his wife and their two youngest children. He contributes to AmericanThinker.com, ghost writes for media figures, is the Publicity/Political Director for Marketel Media, and has other business interests. Wright specializes in rapid response communication, using a mix of humor, analogy, and story telling to easily connect the intellectual bankruptcy of liberalism to all of our nation’s major problems. His commentary specialty is eliciting the ‘oh, never thought about it like that’ response.
www.cedmundwright.com
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements
Introduction
1: B. Hussein Obama Versus Osama bin Laden
YMBAL’s #1
2: The Religious Left Versus The Religious Right
YMBAL’s #2
3: Obama of Roanoke Versus Those “Who Did That”
YMBAL’s #3
4: The Law Liberals Always Break
YMBAL’s #4
5: Free Market Capitalism Versus Crony Capitalism
YMBAL’s #5
6: Public Sector Unions Versus You and Me
YMBAL’s #6
7: Margaret Thatcher Versus Ben Bernanke
YMBAL’s #7
8: The Good Rich Guy Versus The Evil Rich Guy
YMBAL’s #8
9: When a Liberal Tries to Sell Something
YMBAL’s #9
10: Lemonade Stands Versus City Hall
YMBAL’s #10
11: Does Competition Mean We Have to Keep Score?
YMBAL’s #11
12: Obama Care Versus Auto Insurance
YMBAL’s #12
13: Chick-fil-A’s ‘Chicago Value’ Pack
YMBAL’s #13
14: Untethered to Energy Reality
YMBAL’s #14
15: The World’s Most Expensive Fishing License
YMBAL’s #15
16: Real Grass Roots Versus Axelrod’s Astroturf
YMBAL’s #16
17: Real Unemployment Versus Obama’s Unemployment
YMBAL’s #17
18: As Racists Go, We Are Rank Amateurs
YMBAL’s #18
19: Fresh Water Sharks and other liberal predators
YMBAL’s #19
20: Ye Shall Kn
ow Them By Their Fruits
YMBAL’s #20
21: Elizabeth Warren’s Sub Prime Lend’em Wompum
YMBAL’s #21
22: Mirror Mirror On the Wall
YMBAL’s #22
23: Soccer Versus Football
YMBAL’s #23
24: Our Mandate Versus Their Mandate
YMBAL’s #24
25: Conservative Profits Versus Liberal Prophets
YMBAL’s #25
26: Ted Kennedy Versus Judge Robert Bork
YMBAL’s #26
27: Pastor Jones Versus The Quaran: To Burn or Not to Burn
YMBAL’s #27
28: NASCAR Versus Kwanzaa
YMBAL’s #28
29: Sarah Palin Versus the Ivy League
YMBAL’s #29
30: Jeremiah Wright, Obama and Black Street Cred
YMBAL’s #30
31: Richard Trumka Versus Freedom
YMBAL’s #31
32: Sheriff Andy Taylor Versus Andy Griffith
YMBAL’s #32
33: Nobody Named Smith Versus Major Nidal Hasan
YMBAL’s #33
34: The Pain of Bain? Trying to ‘splain to the Insane
YMBAL’s #34
Submit your own YMBAL!
End Notes
About the Author