Cracked

by Lisett Alonso

  “Ill be right back I forgot my tool bag in the car.” I open the door and do not wait for a response. I grab the tool bag and in the process of doing so I cut my hand with the small hand saw that is sticking out of my bag. “fuck.” I put the bag in my other hand and close the trunk. I hate having such thin blood, one little cute and Ill bleed a whole cup. I lock the car and go back to the apartment. Once upstairs I drop the bag on floor and head for the bathroom. Luke follows me.

  “Hey are you okay.” I turn on the light and he looks at my hand. “fuck what happened?” he rushes over to me and put my hand under the sink.

  “I graced my hand over the hand saw I have by accident. And well I bleed a lot but is not a big deal.”

  “Not a big deal? It looks like you are bleeding out.” He grumbles and moves my hand under the water. When the blood clears out, we can see the cut. It is a bit big but is not deep. Blood starts to gush out again.

  “There is a first aid kit under the cabinet, can you get it out?” He nods and grabs the kit out and puts it in the countertop. He takes out some triple antibiotic lotion and rubbing alcohol. He washes his hands, the gabs the alcohol and cleans his hands with it. then grabs a piece of cotton ball and wets it with alcohol and goes to my hand.

  “This is going to sting a bit.” He says and he cleans the wound. I did not even hiss. This is nothing compare to the pain I felt that day. He looks up at me, and then looks down. He puts triple antibiotic on it and then wraps it with a gauze.

  “you see the clear tape, grab it and wrap it around it to.” He does as I say. “see good as new.” He looks at me and glares.

  “You need to be more careful.” He grabs the kit and puts it back in its place grabs the garbage and puts it in a small bag I have next to the toilet.

  “thank you.” I walk out of the bathroom and into the living room. I take out my shoes and place them by the door. I go back to the middle of the living room and start moving the woods I am going to use first to one side.

  “What are you doing. You are going to bleed again.” He takes the wood from me and puts it where I was putting the others.

  “I’m fine is a small cut.” He blocks my path to the other piece of wood. I grunt. “can you move.”

  “No, I’m here, let me help you, which ones do you need me to move?” I look at him and see he is just as stubborn as I am.

  “Just that one right there.” he does as I said. I tell which others to move and then we start. “Move these two, one goes in the bottom and one at top. Then does two make the sides.” He moves them to their corresponding spot; I grab the drill and the different heads and start making pocket wholes. After ten minutes Luke’s phone rings.

  “Pizza.” We both say in union he goes down to get the pizza and when he comes back up, I am already putting the piece together. One side of the bed is already connected to the bottom. Three more sides to go.

  “come eat, well finish soon.” I leave the drill in the floor and go sit with him by the window. We eat in quiet for a couple of minutes.

  “why don’t you like buying furniture?”

  “I feel like each space needs a custom piece, and buying furniture means that everyone has the same furniture piece, so I usually make the bed and some other stuff for the place that I am at.” He nods.

  “Who taught you how to build stuff?” I swallowed the piece of pizza I had bitten and answer him.

  “My grandpa, he loved building things, and he passed that passion down to me I guess.” I take another bite of pizza. A couple of silence follow.

  “So, what made you move here?”

  “I needed a change of scenery.” I averted eye contact as I grabbed another slice.

  “But why did you move alone? I mean your barely legal and your parents decided to let you move across the country, that doesn’t make sense.” I look at him, contemplating what to tell him. If I tell him half the truth, he will have more questions. If I don’t tell him anything, he won’t stop bothering me till I tell him. While I was contemplating on what to tell him, he picked up his soda and when he opens it, the can exploded on both of us. Good thing the pizza box was closed if not we would be eating pizza soaked in soda. I started laughing when I saw the angry face that he had on. I could not stop laughing.

  “Laugh all you want, but just so you know your wet too, and I can see your red lace bra.” I stop laughing and look down. He was telling the truth, the shirt from the Wake and Bake was white and had become see through due to how wet it got. I look back up at Luke and see him staring at my tits. I clear my throat and he look up and smirks. He starts laughing so I did the only thing that was left to do. I grabbed my can opened it and splashed him with it. He froze mid laugh.

  “You just stared a war.” He comes towards me and goes for the can of soda, I decided that unless I wanted to end up on me, it was better on him. So, I just emptied the remaining liquid on him. He looks at me and tackles me to the floor. He starts tickling me and I start squirming.

  “NO! let me go.” I start to laugh so hard is hard to breath. Who ever said tickling was fun and games, was a masochist who enjoyed torture.

  “Say your sorry, and that I am the hottest person on earth.” He keeps tickling. I can’t breathe.

  “ok, ok, but stop.” he pauses, I take a breath and say, “I am sorry, and I am the hottest person on earth.” I scream as he continues his attack on me.

  “Say it correctly or you will die laughing.” He laughs as he continues to tickle me. I cannot take it anymore, so I flip us. Years of boxing and self-defense helped a lot. Because boy was, he heavy. When I am un top I pin his arms back. He looks shocked because when he realizes what has happen, he has no way of escaping. “What the fuck, how did you do that?”

  “Practice, now truce?” I ask him looking at him in the eyes. He looks up at me and we stay staring at each other’s eyes for a couple of minutes, then he looks at my lips, then back at to my eyes. I do the same. His lips are so pink and so kissable. He takes his tongue out, and I imagined what he could do with it. When I look back up to his eyes, we both start to lean in. Before our lips touch, his phone starts ringing. I clear my throat and get off him. I go to the bathroom and take some toilet paper and go back to the living room to clean the mess. When I am almost done, Luke comes back into the living room.

  “Sorry it was my mom.” He looks anywhere but my eyes.

  “No its fine, I am almost done cleaning. Take of your shirt ill put it to wash really quick.” I finish cleaning the mess and get up. He starts taking off his shirt and I see his well-defined abs. I have seen a lot of bodies that look like that. Being in the swimming team had its perks. As I move up his abs a tattoo catches my eye, its right under his rib cage and is in a language I don’t know. I finally meet his eyes and he is smirking.

  Him and his smirk. Two can play this game. I take of my shirt and stand in my red lace bra. It covered my nipple but everything else was on full display. He looks at my breasts then his eyes travel down. They linger on my torso. Then travel back up to my eyes. Now is my turn to smirk. I walk forward, teasing him, then I reach out like if I was going to touch him, but at the last minute I grab his shirt and turn around. I hear him grunt, and I smile. Going towards the closet the has the washing machine I hear him approach me. I turn around and look at him. He keeps walking towards me and I take a couple of steps backwards until my back hits the door of the closet. He puts his hands on either side of my head and looks down at me.

  “You are a tease you know?” He looks at my eyes then my lips then back up again. He is searching for something in them. Something he will not find. He is searching for attachments that do not exist. All that I feel between us is physical attraction.

  Happy with what he found he leans down then pauses looks at my eyes again as if asking for permission. I nod my head and that was all it took for him to kiss me. The moment his mouth hit mine it was as if everything in me exploded. I knew that I was craving his lips, but I didn’t know I was craving everything e
lse too. When the kissing started to get more intense the doorbell ranged. We stopped and he grunted. “Just leave it, unless you are waiting for someone.”

  “I am not.” We were about to kiss again when it ranged again.

  “Fuck” he says. I push him away and go to open. “Leah wait you don’t have a shirt.” I turn around.

  “Thank you.” I went to my closet and grabbed a black t shirt and put it on. I headed to the door, down the stairs. I opened the door, and I was very surprised to see who was on the other side.

  Chapter 7

  “Monica hey, what are you doing here?”

  “My dear brother was worried that you were going to get hurt building the bed by yourself, so he made me come.” She shakes her head and breaths out.

  “I told him I was fine” I shake my head “which I am, I’m actually almost done with it so you can go back home. Tell him I was done when you arrived.” She looks around the street, and then she stops and stares at something. Slowly her head turns towards me looks up the stairs and back at me. “What?”

  “Is Luke here with you? His truck is over there.” She points to Luke’s truck. I mentally face palm myself. I decided to tell her the half-truth.

  “He came by the shop earlier, before I closed, and order some stuff, then left. I haven’t seen him since.” I look back to his truck and shrug. “Maybe he is at one of the shops around here?” I look back at her, she looks at me as if analyzing what I said is true.

  “Maybe, he probably came to get his mom a gift, her birthday is Monday.” She looks around to see if she could find him. I look with her, putting up the façade. “Well, if you are almost done then there is no point on me staying. I am just going to go over to Kristen, she is having a party. Want to come?” I shake my head.

  “No, I am dead. I had to work all day and the fact that I went to sleep late last night does not help.” Smiling she gives me a hug.

  “Alright but you owe me another party. See you on Monday!” She turns around and heads for her car. It is a black Jeep Cherokee, looks like is brand new. In the three days I have been here I have not seen one small car. She drives away in her car and I go back up to the apartment.

  “Why did you tell her that I wasn’t here?” with an angered face he questions me.

  “I thought you didn’t want drama in your life. She might let is slip and then Makenzie won’t stop bothering you or me about it. And just like you I don’t want drama.” I walked towards the bed and started to work on it again. He came next to me and hold the two pieces of wood that I needed to screw together. We worked in silence for a while, just talking when I needed him to hold something. “A couple of last pieces and we are done.” We grab the pieces that is going in the middle of the bed and start screwing them down. Once we are that done, we put the large piece of hard play wood on top and start screwing that down. “And we are done.” I say as I finish one last screw. I get up and look at it. Everything came out according to plan. Specially the headboard. I put the drill down and look back at Luke. “Help me move it?” I ask him He nods; he goes to one end and I got to the other. Once the bed is center, I grab my inflatable mattress and put it on top. I should really invest in a mattress. I look back at Luke.

  “So do you like it?” He looks at me, then back at the bed. He has a blank face on.

  “You should open up your own furniture business.” He smiles at me; I grind and shake my head. I look back at the bed.

  “It did come out really good. I’m debating it if I should leave it like that or staining it.” I pounder over the thought for a couple of seconds.

  “I like it more like this. Are you going to paint the walls?” I look up at him.

  “Yea I am, I asked Elia if I could she said yea. So, I am going tomorrow down to Harveys and getting some paint. Hey, do you know if there is Walmart around here? I have to pick up some stuff.”

  He nods “Yea, there is one like 40 minutes away.” I nod my head; I have to look up where it is. “Anyways is getting late I should go.” I look at him then back at his chest.

  “Your shirt should be dry already.” I go back to the washing and drying machine and grab his shirt out. “Here you go.” When I turn around, he is right in front of me. His face is blank, something that he seems to do a lot, when I look at his eyes, they are full emotion, one that I can not place.

  He visibly swallows, takes a step forward. He was leaning in, thinking he was going to finish what he started I lean in, before I have time to process what is going on he is walking out my door. My eyes follow all of his movements. All the way from looking at his muscle contract while he puts his shirt to the hesitant step he takes when he opens the door.

  I don’t say anything through out the whole thing. Its better that he leaves, before we both start something that will be the end of both of us.

  Its 11:30 when I check the time, I decide to start working on the nightstands. Tonight, like every other night I know that wont be able to sleep so I occupy myself. I go to my closet and pull out my Bluetooth speaker, I put ‘In your head’ by Eminem. I put the volume all the way up. and get to work. I sing along while I work.

  I'm packin' up my shit, as much shit in the car as I can fit

  And I'm just drivin' as far as I can get

  Away from these problems 'til all of my sorrows I forget

  What's tomorrow like? 'Cause tonight I'm startin' life again

  Get to the corner and stop, fuck am I goin'?

  Besides psycho when I fantasize startin' my whole life over

  Yeah right, oh and I might go and

  Get hypnotized so I don't even recognize no one

  I try to look alive but there's nothin' like holdin' your head up high

  When you're dead inside and I just hide, so in

  Case you're wonderin' why my insides showin'

  'Cause I done spilled all my guts and those are mine so I'm

  Pickin' them up and stuffin' them back

  I set up the tables, grab a couple of screws and start. I want to do an open table so I’m just doing two divisions on it. I start with the sides and the top and work my way down. I keep singing while working. First screw is in. A memory flashes behind my eyes. It was the first time I made something.

  *Flashback 2 years ago*

  “I know you don’t want to do any sports, but you have to do something. You need to stop mopping around, come on help me with something.”

  “Gramps I don’t want- “

  “I don’t care come on; I need your help you won’t leave your grandpa to fend for himself right.” We both know he does not need my help. I follow him anyways. He is right. I just do not want to accept that I need to move on. No not move on, I need to accept what happened, then move on. In order to move on, I need to accept everything and that is something I am not ready to do. I walk down the stairs to the garage. He has wood and tools all around. He is a mess, but in this mess, I am finding tranquility.

  “Come here, I am making a rustic wood shelf for Marcie, the housekeeper. How do you think I should lay it out?” I look at him and arch an eyebrow. I look at what his looking at and he has pieces of wood lined up in a straight line. My fingers have a mind of their own because I start to rearrange the wooding in a up and down matter. It looks like a wave. I then put the shelf in the middle and look at it. I like it. Looking back at my grandpa I see he has a cheesy smile on. I haven’t seen him smile in a while.

  He looks back at me. “See I needed your help that looks beautiful. Come on, help me build it.” I nod at him and follow his instructions.”

  *Flashback done*

  I smile to myself and keep working on the side table. Its around 12:50 when I finish them both. I set them next to the bed. They look like if they were made for each other, like if it was a set. I smile and went to shower. Fifteen minutes later and I am in bed. The events of today get to me. Making my body do still with in a matter of second.

  Chapter 8

  September 2

  For the fir
st time in years, I have slept more than 6 hours, but I woke up the same way. Same memory only this time it was my whole family instead of just him. Like always I tried to get to them. But I could not. Every time I get close, I wake up. I got up from the bed and saw the sun out. I check the time and it was seven fifty five. Looking back up I decided to get the day started. I went to shower. The cold water hit me, and I let it. It has been years since I have seen them. I miss them. I miss what we had. But I was the one who destroyed it, so I should not be missing them. This is the punishment I deserve.

  I wish it were you, I wish you were the one gone. I wish you were dead!

  Those words ring out in my head. They go around like a merry go around. They circle my head and get louder and louder and louder. Till I cannot hear anything else beside that. I fall to the showers floor. The feeling of the water hitting me, goes unnoticed. All I feel is the same emotions I felt when I heard those words.

  I agree with you, it should have been me. I wish I were dead too.

  Minutes go by, I lose track of time. My head goes into a spiral. Everything blends with everything. I cannot tell what is real and what is fake anymore. I cannot tell if the hand reaching out to me is real or not, I cannot tell if he is really standing in front of me. I reach for his hand, but when I do, he starts to disappear.

  “No come back!” I try and reach for him, but he just vanishes into thin air. “No.” I gush out.

  “Come back.” More tears fall from my eyes, I hand not realize that I had started crying. I wipe my eyes full of anger. I get up and punch the wall. Multiple times till I see blood on it.

  Good thing this wall was made from bricks and not cheap rock. I let the blood go down the drain with the water then turn the water off. I walk out and dry myself. Blood shut eyes greet me in the mirror, at least I do not have dark circles. I sight. I apply my daily makeup. I checked the weather, 92 degrees. I grunted. There was a time I loved the summer, but now and days I hate it. they are too cheerful and bring back unwanted memories.