Distance of the Heart

by Agnes H Hagadus

  The young nurse suddenly had a sickening thought. What if? No. No more ‘what ifs’. They had to play the hand they were dealt. They had to make the most of life. Even if life gave you lemons, you have to make lemonade. Or was that hard lemonade? Tabby smiled at the thought since neither of them were exactly drinkers. Still, the analogy was a sound one, either way.

  “I take it Max has a plan?” Tabby could feel the eyes upon her. Nicky was wondering what was happening. There was tension between his moms. Something wasn’t right. And the way Emily wouldn’t look his momma in the eyes, confirmed something wasn’t right.

  “You know me too well.” Emily finally managed to look Tabby in the eyes. She sighed heavily as she attempted to find the proper words. “I’m to go undercover. Not sure for how long. What Max wants for me to do is to confess. I would spend a few days in jail. Again, not certain how long. She assures me that there will be agents undercover to protect me. I didn’t want to agree to it, but it’s the only way she could think of to bring those behind this to the surface.”

  The silence hung between them like a heavy, wet blanket. It wasn’t comforting. And Emily knew why. It was something she should have discussed with Tabby first. But it was something that had to take place, immediately. “There’s more. The man who was hurt last night…I don’t know the details, but he’s my father.” Emily turned to her son. “Which makes Mr. Barkley your grandfather.”

  Tabby closed her eyes. So much information overload. “When…” Emily gave her a look. “You didn’t know before last night I take it.” The leggy blonde nodded. “And yet you were still so panicked when you called. Some connection you have with him.” A sad smile was upon Emily’s face. “That I can handle. But what about abandoning me and Nicky? Just when we have our son back?”

  Once again, the words were being spoken with hate. They were being spoken from hurt. And they were being spoken from fear. Fear that something would happen to Emily while she was in prison. How many times had those in law enforcement promised protection only to not be able to follow through? Most of the time, through no fault of their own. But still, it had happened.

  And now, when things were finally coming around for them? Tabby wanted to strike out at Emily in any way that she could. She wanted to close off her heart. She wanted to take Nicky and run. It could be done. If she went to Sierra or Desiree, they would give her whatever she wanted. Whatever she thought she needed.

  But what example would that set for Nicky? What had her words already set as an example for their son? Tabby sighed heavily. Before she could apologize, her son’s voice broke through the tension. “Momma, please don’t be so harsh. I know why Mom is doing this. At least I think I do. She wants us to be safe. She wants everything to go back to normal. Does that mean us in a house together?”

  The hopefulness in Nicky’s voice nearly broke Tabby’s heart. “I know, Sweetheart. I spoke out of anger. I spoke because I’m afraid something will happen to take your mother away from us.” Tabby couldn’t help the tears that began to slowly make their way down each of her cheeks. “I love your mother so much that I just can’t stand the thought of her leaving us. Even though I know she never would want to.”

  “I’m sorry.” Emily also had tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry I made the decision without discussing it with you. That’s what I regret. It was made out of love and attempting to protect you both. Sometimes that’s good wanting to protect you. Sometimes it’s bad and impossible.” The therapist opened her arms. She was instantly engulfed in a hug. “Now, I suggest we go see Leon, er, my father. Then we can have dinner together. But it’ll be our last for a little while I’m afraid.”

  The three walked back the way they came. The nervous energy was still there. The walk and the conversation did nothing to dispel how much stress they were all under. Nicky was wondering if he could share what was happening with his mother. Tabby was wondering if it was wise to have an eight-year-old know the truth. And yet, it was amazing that Emily had not wanted to lie anymore, not even about something that might best be withheld.

  It took longer for them to walk the distance back to the bed and breakfast. It wasn’t because they were avoiding their meeting with Leon. In fact, Nicky was looking forward to meeting his grandfather. His momma’s parents had never wanted anything to do with him or his momma. It was almost like they never wanted him to exist. Melissa was his first taste of a grandmother. Jarod wasn’t quite as doting as the matriarch so he didn’t have experience with a grandfather.

  But to have someone, Nicky hoped, to accept him for who he was. And maybe even spoil him like grandparents were want to do would be amazing. Not that he’d ever stop loving Melissa. Or stop loving his godmothers. Sierra and Desiree would always be that and more to him. But to have someone related to Emily be that, it would make him happier than he could say.

  Instead of making their way back into the bed and breakfast, they went directly to the pink demon. Emily wondered if she would continue to drive it once the harsh winter of the north began. Not because it couldn’t handle the snow. It was to protect it from the salt and other elements that would eventually rust its near perfection. But then, what was perfect? She certainly wasn’t. And neither was life.

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  Tabby sat alone. Another day of waking up without Emily. One would think she would have become accustomed to it. But no matter the time they spent apart, she would never become accustomed to sleeping without her soulmate. To living any moment of life without Emily in it. Distance was a cruel, cruel enemy. One she knew they would one day defeat easily.

  At least she had had one more night with Emily. Nicky, sensing his mothers needed the night alone, had volunteered to stay with Adam and Conrad. It wasn’t a great hardship, except the fact that he too missed Emily being in his life every day. Especially since the past few weeks had been because he hadn’t been able to forgive her for the sins he perceived. Or admit why he was shunning her.

  Nicky was a great kid. How he had become that way she didn’t know. Tabby had hoped she’d done everything right. But when it came to raising a child, no one ever did anything one hundred percent right. It was just the way it was. For one, parents are human beings. For two, every child is different. So even if there is experience of another child, care is needed to remember that each child is an individual.

  After seeing how easily Nicky accepted Leon as his grandfather and how easily he supported her alone time with Emily, Tabby knew she had done something right. And was, hopefully, continuing to do something right. It was what any good parent could hope for. It was something she would pray to whatever powers that were out there that continued.

  The young nurse made her way to the lake. It was where Tabby seemed to spend a great deal of her time. She made it to the bench. The one that had been specially made for Melissa and Jarod. Tabby sat so she could watch the sun coming over the water. It was the start of a new day. If only the start of each new day meant a new beginning. But there were no new beginnings. Only second chances.

  Tabby continued to stare out at the sun rising. Soon, it would be high above her. Soon, it would shed light onto the darkness that surrounded her. If only it could shed light into the darkness of her heart. Her heart that ached for Emily. That after reconnecting made the distance separating them even more painful. Survival was only because of two people. It’s how it was anymore. Until they could put this all behind them.

  The young woman was so engrossed in her thoughts, she didn’t hear the footsteps. She didn’t hear the gun being pulled from the case. The gunshot sounded. Tabby turned to look at where it came from. Before she could focus on anything, her world went black. There was a roughness against her face as she struggled against whoever had a hold on her.

  There was a female voice. It was deep, not unlike Samantha’s. It had an accent to it. From what country, Tabby couldn’t make out. She hadn’t been around many from different countries. The orders were barked. It was clear. Tabby was in the grasp
of the ones who were behind setting Emily and herself up for murder and everything else. But why had there been gunfire? Who had been shot this time?

  That was when another set of gunshots rang out into the night. Tabby screamed when she felt the deadweight fall on top of her. When she felt the warm, sticky substance on her back, Tabby knew. It was literally deadweight. But who did the body belong to? And was she being rescued or was she in more danger than she had ever been in.

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  All Emily could think about as she stood, alone, before the judge was Tabby, Nicky and her father. Leon had explained things. Mitch had known nothing about her true parentage. He’d only relied on her uncle to keep him informed of how Emily was doing. And to help out when he was needed. Like he was needed while she was in California.

  “Are you telling me your client wants to change her plea from not guilty to guilty?” Emily was brought out of her musings by the here and now. The fact she was in in the courtroom about to admit to being guilty. Rachael stood beside her, so she wasn’t completely alone. But the ones she needed by her side were best left out of this. It was for their safety. It was for their own good.

  “Yes, Your Honor.” Rachael had been informed of the plan. While she had her reservations, she knew very well it could end things in the favor of her clients. It could also backfire. It could lead to the death of her client. And after everything Emily and Tabby had been through, for her to be harmed while in prison was almost too much to think about.

  “I don’t understand. Your client was adamant she was not guilty. And from some of the pretrial discovery, I have to say that the evidence is less than overwhelming.” The judge, an older man with wire-rimmed glasses sat back in his chair. “But if she can satisfy the court as to her guilt, we’ll accept the plea. From my understanding, you have also filed for immediate sentencing. Is there any objection from the prosecution?”

  “Definitely no objection. In fact, I can’t wait to hear Miss Dunst’s confession.” The prosecutor was not on the take. She was only an assistant district attorney. She was under orders to prosecute Emily and Tabby. Her only concern was if Emily was confessing, would she have to prosecute Tabby? Someone she was even more certain was innocent of all charges leveled against her?

  Emily cleared her throat. “I was on my way to the airport. My soulmate, Tabby, was left at the bed and breakfast. I couldn’t handle saying goodbye in public to her.” It was difficult to tell the lies. The lies she knew would have to told. “So I left earlier than what I needed.” Azure eyes closed. “I don’t know why I turned into the diner that’s across from the hotel that Helen was staying at. Call it dumb luck or bad timing. But there she was.”

  “My blood began to boil remembering all the things that Helen had said. And the slap.” Emily involuntarily held her cheek. The memory was still fresh on how Helen was the one who had attacked her. The words she had said to Tabby. There was no forgiving her. But to kill someone? There was no way she could do that. There was no way. And yet, had there been a weapon and immediate physical threat, could she have?

  “I followed her. I don’t know how long it took, but I made it to her room. When I knocked, she opened the door.” Emily once again had to pause. Not being true to herself, even for the love of a good woman, was something she was having issues dealing with. “She had a smug look upon her face. It was as if she knew she had won, simply because I’d shown up on her doorstep. And she was right.”

  “I couldn’t handle the look. Or the fact she had been with Tabby first. How she had treated Nicky. It was all too much. And when she stepped aside to let me in, it was a big mistake.” Emily maintained her gaze with the judge. She knew if she was to convince him that she was telling the truth and not telling some tale, she had to maintain eye contact. It wasn’t easy.

  “I didn’t even allow her to say anything. Instead, I struck her.” Emily attempted to remember what the coroner’s report said. It was a good thing it was one of the things given in the pretrial discovery phase. “She lost consciousness. I could have stopped there. I could have left. Sure, there might have been a witness. But it would have been only for assault. Nothing more.”

  Now was the most difficult part. Now was telling how the murder had taken place. “I once again remembered what she had said. What she had done. And how she had left Tabby and Nicky and what Tabby chose to do to survive. I simply lost it.” Emily went on to say a scenario that fit the facts of the coroner’s report. It wasn’t that difficult seeing she was still very familiar with the female anatomy. And not just because of the lovemaking that she had enjoyed with her soulmate.

  By the time she was finished describing what she had supposedly done to Helen, Emily was nearly physically ill. If Rachael hadn’t accidentally brushed against her arm, she might have both physically and mentally lost it. As it was, she was sweating slightly. She hoped the judge wasn’t watching her closely. Otherwise the rouse they were attempting to carry out would be for nothing.

  “I’ve never heard of such violence. And all because of jealousy.” The judge leaned forward, pushing his wire-rimmed glasses up on his face. “Your crime disgusts me. The way you so easily describe taking a life. I think the punishment should fit the crime.”

  “Even though it’s unusual for someone with no criminal record and no clashes with the law, I think an example needs to be made. The fact you ran from the law, hiding behind your lawyer and proclaiming your innocence all add up to the need for the maximum penalty.” The judge made certain he was looking Emily directly in the eyes. He wanted to see her reaction. “I sentence you for a minimum of twenty-five years with a maximum of thirty.”

  The pounding of the gavel caused Emily to jump. She knew it had been a possibility. She knew that it was, in a way, what they had wanted. Still, it was shocking to hear how one could spend nearly the rest of their lives in prison. It happened every day. But Emily wasn’t ready for it. She managed to remain standing. How, she wasn’t certain. “Take her into custody and process her immediately.”

  Once again the gavel pounded. Rachael whispered in Emily’s ear. She nodded though she only half heard what her lawyer said. All she knew was she hoped, beyond hope, that Max was true to her word. That no matter what, she had enough people on the inside to protect her. Was there even enough people to do that?

  It wasn’t long before Emily once again found herself being processed. Only this time, the therapist was given an orange jumper to wear. The fingerprinting and the photographs she could handle. For some reason, seeing herself in the mirror in the orange jumpsuit was nearly too much to handle. Once again, thoughts of the three people who meant the most to her were running through her mind.

  After a fairly long bus ride, Emily found herself in a maximum security prison. Once again, she was processed. The therapist barely said a word as she was roughly shoved from one handler to another. For that was how she looked at each of the guards. They were nothing more than someone to watch over her. If the plan worked, it wouldn’t be long.

  If the plan didn’t work, would Max and Rachael be able to overturn her conviction? Would she be able to regain her freedom? These fears would be with her until she was reunited with her soulmate and son. And what of Sam and Abby? What would they think if something were to happen to her while she was in prison? She knew they would take some kind of responsibility for any harm caused her.

  Emily was led through a maze. Each time the bars slammed shut behind her, she couldn’t help but jump. She was going further and further into the darkness. She was going further and further into the pit of despair. She knew the women who resided behind these walls were desperate people. Some pure evil. It terrified her.

  Finally, Emily was stopped outside an open cell. “This is your new home, Maggot. Sally here will show you the ropes.” The female guard winked at the other woman in the orange jumpsuit. When Sally rolled off the top bunk and stood, the only thing Emily could think was she was an Amazon. She was petite in stature, but had
muscle upon muscle. Her complexion was dark, as was the look in her eyes. “Sally here is a permanent resident. She likes welcoming newcomers. By the way, Sally, she plays for your team. So she might not be as much fun to break as your last roommate.”

  “We’ll see about that.” Though Sally was actually shorter than Emily, she was more than imposing. “I promise to show her the ropes. You have nothing to worry about, Sarge.” Sally winked at the guard. They shared a knowing glance before Sarge made her way back the way they had come. “So, you’re the pretty little piece of fluff they’ve stuck me with. I think we need to begin by making you into more than a stick figure.”

  Emily swallowed at the thought. As Sally slowly approached her, once again the wisdom of what they were doing ran through her mind. As Sally placed a hand on each of her biceps, the thought grew even more. When she was pulled into the cell and slammed against the wall, she wanted to scream. “I think it’s time you learn the most important thing about prison. You need a sugar momma. And to gain a sugar momma, you have to be very nice to someone. Or you can fend for yourself. Someone like you I predict will be dead in less than a week.”

  The shuddering could not be contained. Emily nearly was ill. She knew if she were to throw up on the woman, she would only make things worse. When Sally came within inches of her face, azure eyes closed. She didn’t want to see the woman as she did whatever it was she was going to do to her body. She could fight back. She had the training. But wouldn’t that harm their plan? As she felt the hand slide towards her most treasured area, she couldn’t contain herself. The contents of her stomach erupted on her cellmate. “You bitch!”

  Chapter 13

  “You a dumbass or what?” The anticipated slap or punch never came. Emily slowly eased her eyes open. When she took in her new roommate, it wasn’t that Sally was pissed. She was shaking her head. Her voice was low, barely above a whisper. “Let me guess. Max didn’t tell you who your contacts on the inside were?” The inmate sighed heavily as she made her way to the tiny sink that was next to the tiny toilet.