Distance of the Heart

by Agnes H Hagadus

  “Of course I’ll marry you, you big goof.” Tabby didn’t even add with Nicky’s permission. She hoped that what had happened wouldn’t cause her son to regress into the young man who had attempted to hurt emotionally both of his mothers. All because he was too worried about Emily leaving. “The wedding will have to wait until Sam and Abby are back. We’d never hear the end of it if we were to marry without your best friend there.”

  For a moment, Emily completely relaxed. Not only was she now officially engaged, her soulmate had used humor. It was something they both had done in the past. Sometimes it was to avoid the seriousness of the moment. Sometimes it was to avoid the pain one was attempting to deal with. Always there was love behind the way the two used humor.

  As they lay there holding one another, Tabby realized something. All her past lovers had never wanted this. While they had supposedly wanted a life together, none had wanted the forever after. None of them had been content with merely snuggling on the couch or in bed together. It would always begin with touching. Which led to kissing. And then they were off in the throes of passion.

  It was unique to be with someone who didn’t feel like they were settling just because there was no lovemaking. To Tabby, it only made those moments of physical connection that much more special. It made it an even greater connection. And yet she was only human. She craved it from time to time. More than could be put into words.

  “I hate to break up this moment…” Both women turned to see the shadow of Robert. “But we’ve been driving for nearly four hours. The RV is down to a half a tank. I could use something to eat and drink. I’m sure you ladies could as well.” The shadow remained. Robert was respectful. Emily knew with Melissa as his mother, nothing less could be expected.

  “I can eat. And I have to go to the bathroom.” Tabby had known her soulmate would leave it up to her. While there was a part of her that wanted to remain in the RV and use the facilities on board, they also were painful reminders. For how many days had she been trapped inside this metal coffin. The nurse swallowed hard when she realized how close it had come to a reality. That the RV could have been the place to see her last breath.

  Without a word to Emily, Tabby was out of bed. She had rushed past Robert, nearly knocking him down. The door slammed shut as she made her way into fresh air. The sounds of the kitten howling after her never registered. The only thing that mattered was distancing herself from the RV. It meant distancing herself from Emily. But she couldn’t continue to breathe if she didn’t make her great escape.

  It wasn’t long before Emily was in hot pursuit of her lover. Robert merely watched them go. They were in another truck stop. It was now nearing four in the afternoon. While he could have pursued them both, he knew from experience that people need alone time. When he had done something that had nearly cost him his marriage and family, it was time. All of them had needed time to process what had happened. They had needed time to discover how they could help one another deal with the demons each person possessed within.

  When Emily finally caught up to her soulmate, she found her on the bathroom floor. Tabby was sobbing uncontrollably. Somehow, Emily managed to help her lover to her feet. They remained holding one another. It was several moments later when the spell of merely holding one another was broken. “Can’t you two dykes get a room? Why is it every time I stop at these truck stops, two lesbos is going at it.”

  Anger. It was an emotion Emily was becoming all too familiar with. Partially it was from the fact she had placed herself in a situation where violence was all too common. Violence that stemmed from anger. Anger which she now felt for the woman. In some ways, the woman reminded her of Melissa. She was a little shorter than Emily. The hair was the same dark brown with grey sprinkled throughout. The eyes, if she wanted them to be, could be kind and understanding. Just like the matriarch’s could.

  But there was a coldness in these cobalt eyes. It wasn’t the coldness Emily had seen when Anthony had looked into hers. Or the coldness she had seen flicker in Sam’s eyes when the former detective had thought of Jenny. No, this was a coldness born of years of being taught hatred and bigotry. It came from narrowmindedness. The most feared kind of coldness. Because this woman was also ignorant.

  “For your information, I am comforting my girlfriend because of traumatic events.” Emily felt the grip Tabby had on her tighten. Partially it was because all Tabby wanted was to be alone once again with Emily. But not in that horrid RV. But mostly it was because she was afraid the emotions of the past few months would become too great for her soulmate and Emily would say or do something she’d regret.

  “But we could easily have been best friends. Cousins. Sisters even. But you jumped to conclusions. You wanted us to be a couple so that you could impose your beliefs on us.” Emily inhaled deeply. Now was not the time for trouble. And yet, the woman’s ignorance meant just that. Trouble with a capital T. “And frankly, Ma’am, I don’t want to have your beliefs. You believe in exclusion. You spread hate. You spread spiteful things. While all I want is to live happily ever after with my fiancée and our son.”

  The cheeks of the older woman burned red. Instead of saying anything, she stormed out of the restroom. Emily hoped, fervently, that the bigoted bitch wouldn’t involve the manager. It was the last thing they needed. “I’m sorry if I didn’t handle that well. I’m just tired of people, including those I thought were family, not accepting love for love. For us being a loving couple. Is it too much to ask for happiness?”

  Tabby closed her eyes. It could be so easy to allow this love to comfort her. So that she could step foot inside the RV once again. But she couldn’t do it. There was no way she could ever step in an RV again. It would mean traveling when retired wouldn’t be the same. It meant they could be stuck where they were. Unless they were near an airport, bus station or car rental…

  “Sweetie, we’ll find another way to get home. I promise we can leave it behind. But I can’t leave Midnight behind.” When Tabby pulled back from the warm embrace, Emily chuckled softly. “The kitten who helped rescue you.” When Tabby shook her head, Emily kissed her gently on the lips. “I promise. Once we tell Robert plans have sorta changed and get some food into you, I’ll tell you the story of my adventure with Midnight the kitten. Who fell in love with you and is very protective of you.”

  Once again, Tabby was close to relaxing into the love she felt. She was wrapped in her safe harbor. There was no judgement. There were no arguments. Emily merely was attempting to find a way around the fear her lover had. It was an understandable fear. And yet, Tabby wondered as they made their way out of the restroom if it was something she could overcome any time soon.

  As a nurse, Tabby had seen what those suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome went through. It could be as simple as a loud noise. It could be certain words. It could be certain scents. Tabby wondered as she was led to the RV if it would be the RV. Or would it be anyplace that was confining. And how would her new fears affect her child and soulmate?

  Chapter 16

  Their trip could have been out of a comedy or something. Thankfully, Robert had brought more money. It was planes, trains and automobiles to make it back to New York. More importantly, to Middletown. For Emily, it was time to face the music. Not the music of the judicial system as the evidence collected by Charlie and Rachael had been turned over to the judge. It was a scary moment.

  And yet, it was a wonderful moment. Emily had arranged to visit with her father. It was something she was still adjusting to. The fact the man she had thought was her father wasn’t. And a stranger was; difficult at best to process. The fact she remained concerned about her fiancée factored into her continued processing of the facts. Luckily, both Tabby and Nicky had agreed to spend some time with Leon.

  But where was her brother? Rick had not been around the hospital, according to Jarod. The retired beat cop had taken it upon himself to stand as guard for Leon. While ex-military, when one suffered from the wounds her father was, one was
weak and needed help. Even if he was as stubborn as others who refused to seek the help they so desperately needed.

  As Emily stood outside of her father’s hospital room, she couldn’t help the smile that graced her face. The thought of how many stubborn people she knew and loved amazed her. There were Sam and Abby. While everyone knew of Sam’s stubborn streak, not everyone realized exactly how stubborn Abby could be. It was a streak engrained in all the Walkers, including the children. There was Sierra. There was Max.

  It was almost like it was required for someone Emily knew to be stubborn in one way or another. Even Tabby. And at the moment, that was a bad thing. The nurse was attempting to deal with so many emotions. And she continued to heal physically. It had only been two days since they’d returned. It was now Friday and the fact Sam and Abby were now overdue by a week was in the back of everyone’s minds.

  “He’s not going anywhere.” Emily turned at the sound of the familiar voice. Mitch opened his arms. His niece easily fell into them. Though she had proven she could take care of herself, he knew what she needed more than anything. There was this aurora about her. It was as if you could see love exuding from her. And that love was required for her to survive. It was why he still cursed not intervening when his brother had treated his niece as horribly as he had.

  “I know. I guess that’s part of why I’m stalling.” Emily pulled back from the wonderful embrace. Mitch had changed. While he had always been distant, even from his niece, the past few days had shown another change in him. Emily wondered if it was what he had done to discover what Lena was up to or if it was associated with who the madwoman was working for. Could it have anything to do with what Sam and Abby were facing during their European vacation?

  “You have every right, Darlin.” Mitch kissed his niece on the top of the head before releasing her. He was chastising her for stalling. Leon, his former commander, had now been in the hospital over a week and he had yet to stop in and see him. While they had remained in contact, it wasn’t constant. And it always had to do with Emily and Rick. And now he knew why his friend had always been concerned with the twins.

  “And what about you?” Emily knew the routine well. If she wasn’t in danger, most likely Mitch would have headed for the hills by now. He would have returned to what he did best. That was being a bounty hunter. Partially it was because of his skill set. Mostly, it was because he could be a loaner. He could work alone and not have to rely on anyone. It was a lonely existence. One Emily wished he would not return to.

  Mitch couldn’t maintain his niece’s gaze. She always could see through him. Emily was the only one who knew him, like the back of her hand. It was odd seeing that they hadn’t spent a great deal of time together while she was growing up. And yet, they had always had this bond. It didn’t matter how much time they spent together. The fact was both would do just about anything for the other.

  “I’ll face him. I promise. But right now, it’s more important a father and little girl be reunited.” When a blonde eyebrow rose, Mitch smiled. “Darlin, you might be five foot seven, but you will always be our little girl.” The sentiment brought a smile upon Emily’s face. “Besides, I have some things I must attend to. I won’t leave you alone. The others are watching out for you. But this has to be done. I’m sorry.”

  Emily stopped her motions. She had been about to hug her uncle. After all, the fact he had to attend to something while she remained in danger meant it had to do with protecting her. But to apologize for leaving? It was the first time she had ever heard Mitch say he was sorry. At least when he wasn’t in the wrong. He was a true gentleman in that regard. But to apologize for doing what came naturally…?

  “We need to have a chat.” Mitch knew from the tone of voice Emily wasn’t speaking as his niece in that moment. He knew she was speaking as a therapist. While part of him was loath to admit it, she was right. He needed to speak of things that he had held inside for far too long. But to his niece? He wasn’t certain he could do that to her. To have images that no matter how hard you try, never fully go away.

  As if sensing his discomfort, Emily reached out and brushed his arm. “Or we can merely go fishing. I haven’t been since you took me when I was twelve.” Relief washed over Mitch. And yet, he knew. His niece wouldn’t give up on him seeking help. Whether it was from herself or one of her associates, Emily would insist he seek guidance. And for that, he was grateful.

  There was no need for an answer. The relief and the twinkling in azure eyes informed Emily that Mitch was grateful she hadn’t pushed. And yet, after all was said and done, she was looking forward to spending time with her uncle. Maybe even include Nicky. It was something most young boys would love. It could be something else they had in common, besides the love of classic automobiles.

  “We’ll get together after things have settled down a bit.” Emily knew she couldn’t say things had settled down entirely. It was the way things were. There was never a dull moment in Middletown. And there never would be as long as Sam and Abby called it home. And yet, that wasn’t fair to them. But that was how life had turned out. Good or bad. “Now, I have a father to get to know better. Please, be safe.”

  Mitch nodded his head. There was no way he could promise a safe return. It wasn’t because he wanted death. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to return. For the first time in his life, he had a place to call home. Working with Sam at the agency had been more fulfilling than being a bounty hunter. And yet…The man sighed as he watched his niece being brave once again. And hoping that even an ounce of that courage would rub off on him.

  For it didn’t take courage, in his mind, to face a bullet. The worse that could happen was death. Once upon a time, Mitch would have welcomed death. Even with Emily in his life, it hadn’t been enough. Bringing in the bad guys the way he had wasn’t enough. But being around good people who supported one another through anything, that was enough to make the man want to live.

  Emily waved before knocking softly. There wasn’t a response. Slowly, she opened the door. Leon was fast asleep. There were still so many wires and tubes. He was actually doing better than the doctors expected him to. Still, seeing him hooked up to all the machinery caused Emily’s heart to skip a beat. It was how her life had been. Both in the Emergency Room and on the floor, it was wires, tubes and monitors. The memories it caused forced a solitary tear from her eye.

  “Hey.” The weak voice startled Emily from her thoughts. She smiled just as weakly as the voice had sounded. Leon managed to sit up without the aid of the electric bed or his daughter’s help. While he had always known Emily was his daughter, to be able to think of her as such and call her that was as new as the first blossoms of spring. In a way, that’s what it was like for him. He had his family, but he had missed out on his twins growing up. “Is your brother ever going to visit me?”

  The words were slightly harsh. But Emily could understand. She could understand both sides. Rick and she had been through so much over the past few months. Both parents dying within weeks of one another. Discovering their true bloodline. Rick falling in love for the first time. Emily having to reforge her relationship with Tabby and Nicky. And all the heinous acts in between. Luckily, Rick hadn’t been affected. Or had he? She was still uncertain of her brother’s boyfriend’s true intentions.

  “I’m afraid he’s never been able to confront things head on like me.” Emily didn’t hesitate in sitting on the hospital bed next to her father. She took his hand in her own. It was larger than Lucas’ had been. It was stronger, rougher. Not that she had held her stepfather’s hand all that often. But she could remember a handful of times. And it was anything but what Leon’s was like. If only for the love she felt as she received a gentle squeeze.

  “To please Mother and…” Emily caught her father’s eyes. They twinkled. She knew he understood. She’d thought of Lucas as her father for so long. It wouldn’t be easy switching. Perhaps she could call him Leon. After all, she referred to her uncle merely as Mitch. Though that
was complicated as he wasn’t her blood uncle. Ugh! “Lucas. Partly it was because he was accustomed to a certain lifestyle. But mostly he just doesn’t like confrontation. It was why we were never close. And now, we have a chance and…”

  “And your brother is running scared. Or at least hiding.” Emily sighed heavily. Though they were technically strangers, Leon truly did know her and Rick. He did understand. “I’d have to say he takes after his mother more then. And you…” Emily nodded. “You take more after me. Though you are as beautiful on the outside as your mother ever was. On the inside, you two are night and day. You are like a spring meadow. Full of life and love. The wonders of the world are all inside you. I can see why your sweetheart fell for you.”

  “It was love at first sight.” Emily whipped her head around. Tabby was looking a little haggard still. She couldn’t be left alone for too long. Even in the bed and breakfast that was once her safe haven, the nurse didn’t feel comfortable. Even at the extremely secured Walker Agency she struggled. And yet, Emily knew she put on a brave front for their son. “Though I didn’t act on it right away. And when I did…”

  The statement, even leaving it there, caused both women to blush. Nicky looked from his momma to his mother. He couldn’t understand the blush. But he was glad of one thing. He was glad that Emily was back in his life. If he hadn’t forgiven her, would she have been here to help rescue his momma? Some could argue it was because of his mother that his momma was in danger.

  But he had realized something. It had taken several more conversations with Adam and Conrad. Bad things happened. Was the fact their moms were who they were placed them in greater danger? Perhaps. But the world is full of bad people. And if something bad is going to happen, it will. Sadly, no matter how much we attempt to prevent it. Just like miracles happen. Like finding a forever second mother in Emily. In Nicky’s mind, that was a miracle. One he would never take for granted again.