The Change

by C V Leigh

  “Zane!” she called. “Derek! Jacob!” Her voice was lost in the wind. She twisted and turned, listening for the stream that formed the land boundaries, smelling the thick pine trees dotted throughout the grounds. She found her bearings and headed for the sanctity of Faol Hall, drenched in failure.

  Ahead of her, a squirrel scampered up a tall tree trunk, its mouth full of nuts—taking advantage of the chance to hoard before winter truly arrived. It scurried into its dray, bushy, red tail flicking away the thin layer of snow behind it. Tess limped on, wishing for a simple winter, one where she could hibernate in the warmth and comfort of a thick duvet, with Zane’s strong arms around her. She stopped and removed the damp woollen gloves. Flexing her fingers, she checked her hands. Blood oozed from a cut on her palm. It didn’t look particularly deep, but it hurt like hell. She looked down at her legs, where the scrapes had begun to dry and clot. She peeled her tights away from her skin, wincing as they took scabs with them.

  Back in the kitchen, she kicked off her boots. After taking off her jacket and scarf, she sat at the table and examined her wounds a little closer. The one on her leg was worse than she’d first anticipated. It was deeper and longer than it had originally appeared, hidden by the thick tights, and made the one on her hand look like a mere graze.

  “Are you okay?”

  She looked up to see Jacob walking through the back door, tugging his T-shirt over his head. “Yeah. I fell after we got separated. Where’s Zane and Derek?”

  “Zane caught a scent he didn’t recognise. Not sure what it was. They’ve gone to investigate. There was something around the old barn as well–smelt a lot like the boys.” A smirk twitched at the corner of his mouth. “Kids, eh? They’re like their father. I came back to get Alistair and Nicholas.”

  “It’s not Nathan, then?”

  “I don’t know. Nicholas will, though—he knows his scent. Do you want me to take a look at that?” He nodded at her leg. “I know I’m not the doctor of the family, but—”

  “It’s just a scratch. I’ll be fine. The boys shouldn’t be out there on their own.”

  “It looks nasty. It could get infected.”

  “Honestly, Jacob—”

  “Take your tights off,” he insisted. “I’ll see to you, then go fetch the boys.”

  Tess raised an eyebrow. She looked over at the door, hoping Zane would pile through, ready to defend her honour.

  “For God’s sake, Tess, take them off and let me take a look. What exactly do you think I’m going to do?”

  Her breath caught at the severity of his tone. She stood and slid her hands under her skirt, then grabbed the waistband of her tights and rolled them over her hips and down her legs. She kicked them off and sat back on the chair. Jacob knelt at her feet. He held onto her ankle, manoeuvring her foot around in his warm hands, studying the cuts, scratches, and bruises flowering across her skin.

  “I said you should have worn trousers.”

  “I wanted a change. It’s my prerogative as a woman. And, I like my skirts,” she threw back at him. “They make me feel more feminine.”

  Jacob gave a small laugh. “Does it hurt anywhere else?”

  Tess held her hands out for him to look at. He took them in his and gave them his full attention. A frown wrinkled his forehead. He stood and moved over to the sink, then ran the tap until the water was warm and soaked a cloth. He wrung the cloth out and returned to Tess, then dabbed the cloth on the cuts, cleaning away the dirt and dried blood. “Anywhere else?” he asked again.

  Tess folded her arms, avoiding his stare.

  “Show me,” he insisted.

  Not looking at him, she lifted the hem of her jumper and glanced down at the purple and blue bruise that blossomed over her ribs.

  Jacob hissed a breath and stood up again. He walked to the cupboard where the first aid kit was kept and took it out, before placing it on the table. “Take your top off.”

  Tess’ heart raced. “Jacob…”

  “Just do it, Tess,” he ordered.

  Reluctantly, she pulled the top over her head and dumped it with the tights. A few moments ago, she’d been praying Zane would walk in and save her from the embarrassment of having Jacob tend to her wounds. Now, she hoped he stayed out longer. The atmosphere was tense enough already, without him walking in now and seeing them in what he would perceive as a compromising position.

  “You can’t stay mad at him,” she said as he continued to bathe her wounds. He’d moved his attentions to the scar on her thumb, and lingered a little too long. “Jacob.” She took her hands back and waited for him to look at her. “I asked him to do it, you know. It wasn’t something he just did. I was aware of what I was letting myself in for.” She removed a bandage from the box and started to wrap it around her leg. “I can finish this myself.”

  “If he loved you, he wouldn’t have dragged you into this life. He would have walked away.”

  “Is that what you do? Walk away?” She wasn’t backing down now. “Jacob, please. We can’t go on like this. I can’t go on with you hating us for a decision Zane and I made.”

  “He broke the rules. He should have spoken to us first. He should have asked permission.”

  “And yet Alistair has accepted me into the family, into the pack.” She pinned the bandage into place.

  “You still don’t know anything about this life. You don’t know—”

  “I know enough. Five years, Jacob. Five years and you’re still holding a grudge!” She tried to stand, gasping as pain shot through her legs and ribs. She gripped the edge of the table to steady herself. Jacob helped her sit back down. She batted him away. “You should find your brothers.” Tess looked up at him; a stern expression creased his features. “They need you more than I do.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  The wind rattled the drawing room windows and whistled down the chimney, bringing with it a flurry of snow that quickly melted on the hot flames. A lamp on the end table next to the sofa flickered, trying with all its might to battle the threatening power cut.

  Megan curled under a blanket, clutching a mug of sweet tea, Michael slumbering beside her. Ben played with his toy cars, shoving them through the thick pile of the carpet. She could hear Alistair cursing and shouting in the study. She guessed the phone lines had finally gone down. It wasn’t unusual for this time of year. A sudden whiteout brought much more than snow and ice, but Alistair’s fury had been amplified when he found out the boys had been playing in the barn, unsupervised.

  She looked out the window. The grandfather clock in the entrance hall had recently chimed four o’clock, but from the growing darkness creeping through the panes, it felt much later. She closed her eyes for a beat and steadied her breathing. Her stomach fluttered, and sharp pains shot into her chest. She smiled when she considered the butterfly wings flapping inside her might be the first tiny movements of her baby.

  They’d decided to keep the news of her pregnancy from Michael and Ben, at least for now. Zane had told her it was likely to be early days–four weeks, five at the most. Anything could happen. And she still had to come to terms with the news as well. With the boys, they’d been trying, she’d expected the news. But this… shock felt like an understatement.

  “Any sign of them?” she asked as Alistair entered the room. Zane and Derek were still out, and Nicholas had gone to join them, but her husband had stayed behind to look after her and the boys. “How’s Tess?”

  “She’s okay. Jacob has gone back out to find the others.”

  She eyed him, searching for the reassurance she needed. His bright blue eyes were flecked with gold.

  Alistair glanced at Michael. “How is he?”

  “Confused.” She looked at her eldest son. “He’s got all these emotions tumbling around inside him and a wolf fighting to get out.” She put the mug down on the table and stretched her arms out, then took his hands in hers. “He needs his father to start his training. Perhaps if you spent a bit more time with him, he wouldn’t
go running off.”

  “I know. And I will. After.”

  “Let me help.”

  “No. It’s too dangerous out there.” They looked at Ben. At his age, he was a sponge, soaking up everything that was said within his earshot. “I won’t put you at risk like that.”

  “What did he say to Nicholas?” She relaxed against the sofa, pushing her back into the plump cushions, and let go of Alistair’s hands. Michael stirred and cuddled into the crook of her arm.

  “Nothing you need to worry about.”

  He was keeping something from her. Instinctively, she wrapped her free arm over her stomach. “I’m worried about you. Jacob isn’t the only one under a lot of pressure at the moment. And the tension between him, Tess, and Zane is unbearable.”

  “I know. I’ll have a word with him. But you can stop worrying about me.” He knelt in front of her, took her hand and kissed along her knuckles. “This is the only job I care about.”

  “Tess is one of us. She has been for a long time now, and I don’t think there’s any risk of her and Zane splitting up. He loves her more than life itself. He would do anything for her.” Her thoughts trailed to Nathan. There had been a time when she’d thought the same about him. He’s been so strong, so passionate… He was the bad boy she’d wanted to tame. Only, a wild wolf would never become a pet dog. Is that what she’d done with Alistair? Tamed a wild beast into submission? No. He would never be tamed either.

  She shuddered.

  “Are you cold?” Alistair asked. “Ben, go and get your mother a blanket.”

  Ben scurried from the room.

  “No. Someone dancing over my grave, maybe,” she said absentmindedly. Her stomach fluttered once more. She trailed her hand through Michael’s hair and smiled at the thought of having a little girl to cuddle and love. She’d always wanted a daughter.

  Michael fidgeted, then woke.

  “Hey, sleepyhead,” she cooed.

  Ben raced back into the room, arms full of crocheted and knitted blankets dating back at least two generations. Megan laughed. The lamp flickered again. “Why don’t you two go and build a den in the dining room?”

  “Good idea,” Alistair agreed. “Your uncles and I used to create forts out of the table and chairs, and pretend we were knights guarding the castle.”

  “I liked playing in the barn.” Ben pouted. “I want to go back out there.”

  “Maybe when the weather clears,” Alistair said.

  Michael groaned and got off the sofa. “Dad?”

  “Yes?”

  “I’m sorry for being such a sh—For being horrible.”

  Alistair smiled. “You’re not horrible. I promised that we’ll start going through your training soon, and we will. I’ll take you to the clearing in the woods where my father used to take your uncles and me.”

  “I’d like that,” Michael said, brightening.

  “And no more running off, or leading your brother astray.”

  “Yes, Dad. Sorry.”

  Megan watched the exchange between father and son. All she wanted was a semi-normal life for them–as normal as a lycanthrope family could be, anyway.

  * * *

  Tess paced the kitchen floor. Her legs and hands still stung, her ribs still throbbed. She shouted out her pain, stamping her good foot on the tiled floor. It had been more than an hour now since Nicholas had set out in search of his nephews, and none of them were back. The weather was suffocating the estate in a cold embrace, with no sign of easing.

  She’d thought about talking to Alistair, asking him to go and find them, but changed her mind when she heard him shouting in the study. Instead, she rubbed her arms and waited impatiently. She muttered to herself, grumbling about the stupidity and arrogance of men. If Jacob would just make up with Zane, there would be less tension, and they might be able to work together.

  Her brain raced through every possibility. What if they’d got lost in the storm? What if they were injured? What if Nathan had found them? What if they were all dead and Nathan was on his way to finish off the rest of the pack?

  Ben scurried past the kitchen door, laughing as he went. So innocent…

  Tess stripped out of the rest of her clothes and draped them on the kitchen chair. She opened the back door, letting the icy fingers of an early winter rake through her hair and over her skin. Goosebumps pricked at her arms. Every hair stood on end. Her stomach quivered. She stepped outside and shut the door behind her. Immediately, her bones began to crack, and her joints dislocated. Her skin stretched. Her nails elongated and curved into sharp claws, and her teeth grew to a tapered point. Saliva built in her mouth, drooling over her lips and freezing against her newly-appeared fur. The scent of the world came into focus.

  She burst out into the twilight. A bright-white fog blinded her. She turned away from it, steadying herself and finding her feet. As she dug her claws into the ground, the snow came halfway up her legs. She took a deep breath and jogged onwards. She lifted her muzzle and let out a howl, then waited for the returning call.

  None came.

  As she ran, tall pines and firs provided some shelter from the swirling snow. She gave another howl, hoping someone would hear her.

  Someone did.

  A huge black wolf sprang from the shadows and pinned her to the ground. Tess yelped and rolled out from under him. They stalked each other in a tight circle. His eyes shone like the colour of the morning sun. He lunged, and razor-sharp claws ripped through her skin as though it were made of tissue paper. Tess yelped as blood gushed from the wounds.

  There was a roar. A grey wolf leapt over her and landed on the black one. Nicholas. He tore at his opponent’s flanks, ripping out flesh and fur. Tess got up and ran with all her might. She ran and ran until her legs gave out and she collapsed in a heap of exhausted limbs and open wounds. She shivered. She cried. The wolf gave way, revealing her human self. She didn’t feel pain. She didn’t feel anything.

  “Zane…” Her voice cracked. The heavy lids of her eyes closed.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Do what you have to do, but get him here. Dead or alive, I no longer care. Get him here and make him pay!” Alistair’s angry voice echoed through the house and was followed by the slam of a door.

  Jacob sat at the end of Tess’ bed, watching over her as she slept. Soft sounds left her parted lips. She looked… peaceful.

  He got up and prodded at the fire with an iron poker. Bright orange embers spat into the air and floated up the chimney to blend with the sky above.

  “Zane?” Tess sat up. “Jacob.” Her disappointment was evident. “What are you doing here?”

  “I promised I’d sit with you until you woke up.”

  “Where’s Zane?”

  “With Megan. He wanted to give her a thorough check over now we know she’s… pregnant.” The word caught in his throat. He was happy for them, he was. He loved his nephews and welcomed the idea of more children in the family, even if he didn’t always show it. But Nicholas had mentioned a girl and the thought of his brother having to deal with what their father went through…

  He closed his eyes against the harrowing memories.

  They didn’t talk about their mother, and he knew Zane blamed himself for her death. It was a fact that haunted him and coloured his relationship with his younger brother. He had Derek–a twin brother to share everything with when they were growing up. Zane’s twin sister had died at birth, taking their mother with her.

  Too many secrets.

  Tess hissed a breath and touched her ribs, blinking away the pain. “Have they found him yet? I heard Alistair yelling.”

  “No, but they will. Drake caught a scent earlier and is tracking it.” He paused. “Tell me what you found in the files.”

  “Someone has been watching us. It looks like they’ve been feeding information back to CAPA—and to Nathan at a guess. Whoever it was got him a new ID and arranged the ticket to get here. I don’t know who, but I think it might be someone connected with Sa
nguis Luna Law. Maybe someone in the New York office? I thought…” She bit her lip. “At first I thought it might have been you or Nicholas. I know it’s not, though. And I’m sorry. It was wrong of me, and I—”

  “That’s understandable, everything considered. I’ve been a dick.”

  She winced. “That’s an understatement. I just… I have to question the way Nathan escaped custody. After all the charges that were brought against him, and all the guards on him, it just seemed,” she took a breath, “too easy.”

  “What were you doing out there?” He went back to the bed and plumped up her pillows, allowing her a little more comfort.

  “I was looking for you. It had been over an hour. I was worried.”

  “I’m touched,” he said sarcastically. “You should have stayed inside. Nathan is dangerous, and we have more experience than you.”

  “I realise that.”

  “It wasn’t a dig. It’s the truth.”

  Tess nodded and slumped back into the pillows, pain, and anguish contorting her face.

  “I’ll get Zane. Maybe he has something stronger than paracetamol and ibuprofen in that stash of his.”

  “Don’t disturb him. Megan’s more important, and I don’t want the kids to worry about their mum.” Her eyes widened. “What’s happening with them? Oh, God. If they saw anything, it would be all my fault.”

  “They’re safe,” he assured her. “They were playing in the dining room when it happened. They’ve gone to bed.”

  “And Nathan? Nicholas—”

  “Tore him up.” He snorted a laugh.

  “It doesn’t make sense. That’s twice Nicholas has lost him.”

  “You think he’s something to do with this so-called spy, don’t you?”

  “No… I told you. I think it’s something to do with the New York office. I have access to all Nicholas’ emails and phone lines.” Her cheeks glowed pink. “His computers and phones are all clean.”

  Jacob gave a slow nod. “Not much we can do now anyway. We’ve only got power because the generator has kicked in. The phones and internet are down, and mobile service is always shit. You should get some rest and let your body heal. I’m going to get you a cup of tea and more painkillers.”