VI.
BURLESQUE OF SHAKESPEARE.
Travestie of the drama and things dramatic has naturally played alarge part in the history of English stage burlesque. Side by sidewith the producers and interpreters of tragedy, melodrama, and playsof sentiment, have been the possessors of the humorous spirit,who--whether as writers or as actors--have been quick to see thepoints in which works of serious plan and treatment have been opento the shafts of ridicule and raillery. As we have seen, most of theearliest efforts in English stage burlesque were directed against theextravagant tragedies of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries. Astime went on, and the limits of the serious drama became more extended,so did the limits of burlesque expand, and, from the days of JohnPoole downwards, the large variety of serious dramatic production hasco-existed with a corresponding variety in the subject and style of thetravesties submitted to the public.
Among those travesties a prominent place has been taken by the piecesdevoted to the burlesque of Shakespeare--not because they have beenparticularly numerous, for they have not been so--nor because they havebeen uniformly successful, for the earlier specimens were singularlyweak--but because of the general daring of the attempts, and becausealso of the genuine sense of fun exhibited by such baiters of "theBard" as Gilbert a'Beckett, Francis Talfourd, Stirling Coyne, WilliamBrough, Andrew Halliday (Duff), F. C. Burnand, H. J. Byron, and W.S. Gilbert. The business of burlesquing Shakespeare has never, sofar as I can see, been taken up in a wholesale or an intentionallyirreverent spirit. The seventeenth and eighteenth-century satiristsleft "the Bard" severely alone, and it was not until 1810 that thefirst formal travestie of Shakespeare--Poole's "Hamlet Travestie"--sawthe light.[36] The author then made all due apology for his temerity,at the same time pointing out the absurdity of the idea that any amountor kind of burlesque could possibly sully the fame of the dramatist.Two years later, in the course of his preface to the fourth editionof his work, Poole ironically congratulated "those who, on its firstappearance, were apprehensive for the reputation of Shakespeare," uponthe fact "that, notwithstanding Three Editions already before thepublic, he is neither expelled from our libraries, nor banished fromour stage."
[36] It was performed at Covent Garden in 1813, with Mathews as Hamlet, Blanchard as the King, Liston as Ophelia, and Mrs. Liston as the Queen. It was revived in 1874 on one occasion with Mr. Odell as Hamlet, and shortly afterwards with Mr. Leonard Boyne as the Prince, both actors indulging in an imitation of Mr. Irving's performance.
The truth is, a brilliant burlesque does harm to nobody; and abad burlesque does but recoil upon the head of its author andhis exponents. Poole's "Hamlet Travestie" is marked by the bestintentions, but, as a whole, it makes dreary reading. The openingcolloquy between Hamlet, King Claudius, and Queen Gertrude will give,to those who have not already perused the piece, a notion of thequality of the dialogue:--
_King_ (_to_ Hamlet). Cheer up, my son and cousin, never mind--
_Ham._ A little more than kin, and less than kind.
_King._ Why hang the clouds still on you? Come, have done.
_Ham._ You're out, my lord; I'm too much in the sun.--
_Queen._ Come, Hamlet, leave off crying; 'tis in vain, Since crying will not bring him back again. Besides, 'tis common: all that live must die-- So blow your nose, my dear, and do not cry.
_Ham._ Ay, madam, it is common.
_Queen._ If it be, Why seems there such a mighty fuss with thee?
_Ham._ Talk not to me of seems--when husbands die, 'Twere well if some folks seem'd the same as I. But _I_ have that within, you can't take from me-- As for black clothes--that's all my eye and Tommy.
_King._ Cheer up, my hearty; though you've lost your dad, Consider that your case is not so bad: Your father lost a father; and 'tis certain, Death o'er your great-grandfather drew the curtain. You've mourn'd enough; 'tis time your grief to smother; Don't cry: you shall be king some time or other.
_Queen._ Go not to Wittenburg, my love, I pray you.
_Ham._ Mamma, I shall in all my best obey you.
_King._ Well said, my lad! Cheer up, no more foul weather: We'll meet anon, and all get drunk together.
It was part of Poole's method to put the soliloquies into the form ofsongs, and so we find the lines beginning "O that this too too solidflesh would melt!" appearing in the following form:--
A ducat I'd give if a sure way I knew How to thaw and resolve my stout flesh into dew! How happy were I if no sin was self-slaughter! For I'd then throw myself and my cares in the water. Derry down, down, down, derry down.
How weary, how profitless,--stale, and how flat, Seem to me all life's uses, its joys, and all that: This world is a garden unweeded; and clearly Not worth living for--things rank and gross hold it merely. Derry down, etc.
Two months have scarce pass'd since dad's death, and my mother, Like a brute as she is, has just married his brother.-- To wed such a bore!--but 'tis all too late now: We can't make a silk purse of the ear of a sow. Derry down, etc.
The time-honoured "To be or not to be" is sung in this version to thetune of "Here we go up, up, up":--
When a man becomes tired of his life, The question is, "to be, or not to be?" For before he dare finish the strife, His reflections most serious ought to be. When his troubles too numerous grow, And he knows of no method to mend them, Had he best bear them tamely, or no?-- Or by stoutly opposing them, end them? Ri tol de rol, etc.
To die is to sleep--nothing more-- And by sleeping to say we end sorrow, And pain, and ten thousand things more,-- Oh, I wish it were _my_ turn to-morrow! But, perchance, in that sleep we may dream, For we dream in our beds very often-- Now, however capricious 't may seem, I've no notion of dreams in a coffin. Ri tol de rol, etc.
W. S. GILBERT.]
'Tis the doubt of our ending all snugly, That makes us with life thus dispute; Or who'd bear with a wife old and ugly, Or the length of a chancery suit? Or who would bear fardels, and take Kicks, cuffs, frowns, and many an odd thing, When he might his own quietus make, And end all his cares with a bodkin? Ri tol de rol, etc.
The "annotations" appended to the text of the burlesque are in parodyof the performances of the commentators, who at least are fair game forchaff of this sort, and on whom Poole, in his preface, lavishes someexcellent indignation.
Of subsequent burlesques of "Hamlet" there have not been many, butsome of them have been really clever and commendable. There was, forinstance, Talfourd's, published at Oxford in 1849; there was the"Hamlet a la Mode" of Messrs. G. L. Gordon and G. W. Anson, performedat Liverpool in 1877; there was the "Very Little Hamlet" of Mr. WilliamYardley, seen at the Gaiety in 1884; and last, but assuredly not least,we have had the "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern" of Mr. Gilbert, which,written originally without thought either of public or of privaterepresentation, has been enacted at a benefit _matinee_ during thepresent year.
In "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern," which is an unpretentious little"skit," covering only some sixteen or seventeen printed pages, Mr.Gilbert supposes that Hamlet is the son (not the step-son) of Claudius."Rosencrantz is a lover of Ophelia, to whom Hamlet is betrothed, andthey lay their heads together to devise a plan by which Hamlet may beput out of the way. Some Court theatricals are in preparation." Now,once upon a time, Claudius had written a tragedy, which was damned, andto which no one is allowed to make reference on pain of death. "Opheliaand Rosencrantz persuade Hamlet to play his father's tragedy before theking and court. Hamlet, who is unaware of the proscription, does so;and he is banished, and Rosencrantz happily united to Ophelia."
In the first act, Rosencrantz,
who has never seen Hamlet (apparently,because the former has been abroad), asks Ophelia what the Prince islike, and that gives Mr. Gilbert an opportunity for some characteristicsatire. Ophelia says of Hamlet that he is "alike for no two seasons ata time":--
Sometimes he's tall--sometimes he's very short-- Now with black hair--now with a flaxen wig-- Sometimes an English accent--then a French-- Then English with a strong provincial "burr." Once an American and once a Jew-- But Danish never, take him how you will! And, strange to say, whate'er his tongue may be, Whether he's dark or flaxen--English--French-- Though we're in Denmark, A. D. ten--six--two-- He always dresses as King James the First!
_Guild._ Oh, he is surely mad!
_Oph._ Well, there again Opinion is divided. Some men hold That he's the sanest far of all sane men-- Some that he's really sane, but shamming mad-- Some that he's really mad, but shamming sane-- Some that he will be mad, some that he _was_-- Some that he couldn't be! But, on the whole (As far as I can make out what they mean), The favourite theory's somewhat like this: Hamlet is idiotically sane With lucid intervals of lunacy.
In the second act, the Queen, observing that Hamlet is about tosoliloquise, urges Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to "prevent this,gentlemen, by any means":--
Anticipate his points, And follow out his argument for him; Thus you will cut the ground from 'neath his feet, And leave him nought to say.
The result is as follows:--
_Enter_ Hamlet; _he stalks to a chair, throws himself into it_.
_Ham._ To be--or not to be!
_Ros._ (R. _of chair_) Yes--that's the point! Whether he's bravest who will cut his throat Rather than suffer all--
_Guild._ (L. _of chair_) Or suffer all Rather than cut his throat?
_Ham._ (_annoyed at interruption, resumes_) To die--to sleep----
_Ros._ It's nothing more--Death is but sleep spun out-- Why hesitate?
(_Offers him a dagger_.)
_Guild._ The only question is Between the choice of deaths which death to choose.
(_Offers another_.)
_Ham._ (_in great terror_) Do take these dreadful things away. They make My blood run cold. (_Resumes_) To sleep, perchance to----
_Ros._ Dream. That's very true. I never dream myself, But Guildenstern dreams all night long out loud.
_Guild._ With blushes, sir, I do confess it true!
_Ham._ This question, gentlemen, concerns me not. (_Resumes_) For who would bear the whips and scorns of time----
_Ros._ (_as guessing a riddle_) _Who'd_ bear the whips and scorns? Now let me see. Who'd bear them, eh?
_Guild._ (_same business_) Who'd bear the _scorns_ of time----
_Ros._ (_correcting him_) The _whips_ and scorns.
_Guild._ The whips and scorns, of course.
(_Hamlet about to protest_)
Don't tell us--let us guess--the whips of time?
_Ham._ Oh, sirs, this interruption likes us not. I pray you give it up.
_Ros._ My lord, we do. We cannot tell _who_ bears these whips and scorns!
The third act opens with a passage in which the turns and rhythm ofShakespearean prose are happily imitated:--
_Enter_ King _and_ Queen, _meeting_ Rosencrantz.
_Queen._ A fair good morrow to you, Rosencrantz. How march the Royal revels?
_Ros._ Lamely, madam, lamely, like a one-legged duck. The Prince has discovered a strange play. He hath called it "A Right Reckoning Long Delayed."
_Claud._ And of what fashion is the Prince's play?
_Ros._ 'Tis an excellent poor tragedy, my Lord--a thing of shreds and patches welded into a form that hath mass without consistency, like an ill-built villa.
_Queen._ But, sir, you should have used your best endeavours to wean his phantasy from such a play.
_Ros._ Madam, I did, and with some success; for he now seeth the absurdity of its tragical catastrophes, and laughs at it as freely as we do. So, albeit the poor author had hoped to have drawn tears of sympathy, the Prince hath resolved to present it as a piece of pompous folly intended to excite no loftier emotion than laughter and surprise.
After Poole published his "Hamlet,"[37] Shakespearean burlesqueslumbered until 1834, when Maurice G. Dowling produced at Liverpoolhis "Othello Travestie." In this dull production, the Moor of Venicefigures as "an independent nigger from the Republic of Hayti," andtalks in "darkey" dialect (as does the same writer's Clifford in "FairRosamond"). Here, for example, is this Othello's address to the Senate(written and sung to the air of "Yankee Doodle"):--
[37] In "Hamlet Improved," by Colonel Colomb, a Mr. Mendall is supposed to have revised the last act of "Hamlet" in accordance with modern notions. Polonius is alive, having been only wounded by Hamlet; Hamlet's father also is alive, having only pretended to be dead. At the close, the King, Queen, Laertes, and Ophelia, all come to life again. Hamlet is represented by a stuffed figure, the actor chosen for the part having refused to enact it.
Potent, grave, and rev'rend sir, Very noble massa-- When de maid a man prefer Den him no can pass her. Yes, it is most werry true, Him take dis old man's daughter; But no by spell, him promise you, But by fair means him caught her.
'Tis true she lub him berry much, 'Tis true dat off him carry her, And dat him lub for her is such, 'Tis werry true him marry her. All dis be true--and till him dead, Him lub her widout ending-- And dis, my massa, is the head And tail of him offending.
Dis old man once him lub me too, Do' now in rage before ye, And often say, "Come Othello, And tell us pretty story, About der time when yon young child, (You naughty lilly child ye), And when you 'bout de wood run wild, And when you sold for slavey."
Den ebery day him tell all dis, And sometimes lilly lie, too, And him look in de eye of miss. And den him hear her sigh, too, Den missee meet him all alone, And den him ax her wedder, Him make de both two hearts in one, Den off dey run togedder.
W. J. Hammond played Othello in this piece, both at Liverpool, andafterwards at the Strand Theatre, where popular Miss E. Daly was theDesdemona and H. Hall the Iago. What can these presumably capableactors have thought of their _roles_? The text of the burlesque isalmost wholly without humour, of which, however, there is a gleam inthe complaint made by Cassio that he has been ruined by a pint ofbeer:--
My reputation's lost--my reputation! I'm bother'd, sir--I'm bother'd quite with thinking; I've lost my reputation, sir, for drinking. I, who to good brown stout ne'er yet turn'd tail, Drunk and bedevil'd with a mug of ale! Was ever man in such a situation? My reputation, sir--my reputation!
H. J. Byron's "Rival Othellos" (played at the Strand in 1876) was nota travestie of the tragedy; but it gave opportunity for some cleverburlesque of tragic acting.
We come now to the first (and, so far as I know, the only) travestie of"King John," which happily was essayed by the capable pen of GilbertAbbott a'Beckett. The year was 1837, the _locale_ the St. James'sTheatre, and Hall the representative of the title-part, with Mme. Salaas Lady Constance. The play was lucky in being dealt with by so deft aworkman. The subject was not very promising, and all was done with itthat was possible. The scene in which the King incites Hubert to getrid of Arthur was thus travestied:--
Hubert, my friend, I had a thing to say. But let it pass--the sun is shining bright: To suit my purpose, it had needs be night, If where we stand could be a railroad tunnel, As if we looked at Tartarus through a funnel; If you could only scent what I propose, Yet let it not smell rankly in your nose, If you could, or if I--Hubert
, my lad, Who made that coat?--indeed, the cut's not bad.
_Hub._ Great king, you know I always lov'd you well, Then why not in a word your wishes tell? Why roll your troubled eye about its socket? My lord, your heart is in your breeches pocket. Though it would cost my life, what is't you need? I'll do your bidding--
_K. John._ You're a friend indeed! But Hubert, Hubert, Hubert, throw your eye On that young lad, that now is standing by; I'll tell you what, my friend: that boy, I feel, Is, in my path, a piece of orange peel, And wheresoe'er I tread he'll throw me down, And if I fall, you know, I crack my crown.
(_Taking out his snuff-box_.)
You are his keeper--are you up to snuff?
_Hub._ I am! I'll keep the urchin safe enough.
_K. John._ Remove him----
_Hub._ He shall die!
_K. John._ Egad, I feel So merry, Hubert, I could dance a reel. What shall I give thee?
_Hub._ What you please.
_K. John._ Then let it-- Stand over, gentle Hubert, till you get it.
Here, again, is the perversion of the famous scene between Hubert andthe boy:--
_Arth._ Hubert, good Hubert, how are you to-day?
_Hub._ I must not listen to his childish chatter, For if I do he'll melt my heart like batter. (_Aside_) Look here, young Arthur (_gives warrant_): can you understand This paper, written in a large text hand?
_Arth._ Oh, can I read it?--oh, unhappy youth! Must you with pinchers then take out my tooth?
_Hub._ Young boy, I must.
_Arth._ And will you?
_Hub._ Yes, I will.
_Arth._ Oh, it's too bad--when you were taken ill, Who was it to the chemist's ran full gallop, To get a penny dose of salts and jalap! And when I've seen you, after dining out, When you've made free at some hot drinking bout, Have I not always been extremely willing To give for soda-water my last shilling? And you'll take out my tooth? If you will, come-- I'll not resist,--here is my tooth, by gum!
_Hub._ Young boy, I've sworn to do it--do not flinch: These instruments must help me at a pinch. Come forth! (_Stamps_.)
_Enter_ Ruffian, _with a pewter basin_, _towel_, etc.
(_To_ Ruffian). Do as I bid you.
_Arth._ Hubert, stay: My tooth is out--do send that man away. (Ruffian _seizes_ Arthur.)
_Hub._ Now for the pinchers--now for one bold tug.
_Arth._ Why be so boisterous? I will hold my mug. For Heaven's sake, Hubert, send that man away, And not a word against it I will say. Hubert, thy word indeed shall be my law; My tooth is out: see, I will hold my jaw!
_Hub._ (_to Ruffian_). Go, stand without; I by myself will do it.
_Ruffian._ Indeed 'twould make me ill were I to view it.
[_Exit_ Ruffian.
Elsewhere King John sings, to the air of "The Light of other Days,"this excellent parody:--
The robe of other days has faded, Its gloss has from it pass'd; For dust with little specks has shaded The stuff too fine to last. The robe of velvet made of cotton, For wear much better pays; But, alas! how shabby this I've got on, The robe of other days!
The coat that is not worth a stiver, An old and worn-out thing, When touch'd with black and blue reviver, Like a new one up will spring. You may dye the coat of one that's needy, Of stuff as coarse as baize; But the robe is done for when 'tis seedy, The robe of other days.
The first burlesque of "Romeo and Juliet" was brought out at the Strandin the same year as that which saw the birth of A'Beckett's "KingJohn." The author was Maurice G. Dowling, who succeeded in producingsomething worthy to rank with his "Othello." In his "Romeo and Juliet"Montagu and Capulet are rival basket-makers, "Mr." Mercutio beingforeman to the former, who also has "Mr. Ben Volio" in his employ.Tybalt is a fireman and ratcatcher to the Duke of Mantua; "Mr." FriarLaurence, a "black-and-white-smith" at Gretna Green. Romeo talks inilliterate fashion, and at one point sticks a pin into Paris's back!Miss Daly was the Juliet, and she and Hammond (as Romeo) had to speak,in the balcony scene, such lines as these:--
_Enter_ Romeo _over wall_.
_Rom._ He just knows nothing who's been scratched with pins, Unless he's felt the pain of broken shins.
(Juliet _appears at balcony with lantern_.)
Oh my! what light is that upon the wall Rising like yeast? Crikey, if she should fall! Come down, my duck: the moon can't stand no chance-- You'll easy stare her out of countenance. You're prettier far than she--I'm not in joke, Miss; what did you say? Oh, la, I thought she spoke! I wish she was in heaven, and then her eyes Would be two stars a twinkling in the skies. There! now she puts her hand upon her head-- I wish I was that hair--those curls instead, That she might comb me when she went to bed.
_Jul._ Oh, my! I wish that nice young man would come!
_Rom._ She speaks! a sign she isn't deaf and dumb.
_Jul._ O Romeo!--Romeo! perhaps you're not to blame, But it's a very shocking, ugly name; Go to your godfather, and refuse to wear it, Or if you won't, be but my love, and swear it; And I'll leave home, and go live with you, And be young Mistress Romeo Montague. The name is not so bad--what's in a name? A Rose if Garlick call'd would smell the same.
The Friar's directions to Juliet are given in the course of a song, ofwhich the following is the opening verse:--
Here's a bottle of gin--do take it, dear, Put it under your pillow, or somewhere near, And when the old Nurse to her bed is gone, First make yourself certain you're quite alone. Then take this bottle--drink part of it off-- 'Tis double distill'd, and may make you cough-- When presently through your veins will walk A comical tremor--a wish to talk, Oh, the bottle of gin!
When, in 1859, Andrew Halliday produced, at the Strand, a "Romeo andJuliet Travestie, or the Cup of Cold Poison,"[38] he did better, Ineed hardly say, than his predecessor. His treatment of the balconyscene, for instance, was at least not vulgar:--
[38] This was the piece in which Miss C. Saunders played Romeo, and Miss Marie Wilton Juliet. Maria Simpson was the Mercutio, J. Clarke the Nurse, Rogers the Apothecary, Bland the Friar, and Miss Bufton the Paris.
Romeo _appears on the top of the wall and comes down ladder_.
_Rom._ He jests at scars, who never wore a patch, Or mounted garden wall and got a scratch From row of broken bottles.
(Juliet _appears on balcony_.)
_Jul._ Ha! 'tis he!
_Rom._ Juliet!
_Jul._ Romeo! ah, yes! 'tis he!
_Rom._ Oh, say that name again!
_Jul._ Oh, me! oh! Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
_Rom._ Well, 'pon my soul, my love, my sweet, my dear, I haven't got the most remote idea; My father perhaps----
_Jul._ Deny him.
_Rom._ Then my mother. She does not know I'm out.
_Jul._ Oh, what a bother!
_Rom._ What is a bother, sweet?
_Jul._ That you, My Romeo, should be a Montague, And I a Capulet--and yet what's in a name? Were you called Jones, I'd love you all the same; You'd be no worse: mark this, I do entreat-- The Serpentine by other name would smell as sweet.
_Rom._ Would I were some one else----
_Jul._ But fate assigns A bitter lot, and rules the hardest lines.
_Rom._ (_sneezes, and as if with cold in his head_) It's getting chilly, dear, but hear me swear-- By the boon, green cheese of heaven--look there
, Shining as brightly as a silver spoon.
_Jul._ (_sneezing, and with a cold_) Swear not by the boon--the inconstant boon, Who changes oft, and twelve times in a year Hooks it like a tenant in arrear.
_Rom._ What shall I swear by, then, to gain a seat In your affections?
_Jul._ Oh, do not swear, my sweet, At all. A good rule we now commence with: We take our seats--the oaths we do dispense with.
For the rest, the burlesque followed many lines of the original closelyenough,[39] save that, at the end, Romeo, Juliet, Mercutio, Tybalt,and Paris, were all revived, much to the indignation of Shakespeare, astatue of whom appeared, with finger held up in a menacing manner.
[39] Juliet was sent to sleep, not by a potion, but by a perusal of the latest work of Mr. Tupper.
The piece was well stocked with puns; as, for example:--
Who doubts Mercutio's courage him mistakes: He hates a _broil_, but he will fight for _stakes_.
And again:--
By reason of this _bunion_ on my toe, This _pilgrim's progress_ has been very slow.
After "Romeo and Juliet," the first of Shakespeare's plays to beburlesqued was "Richard III.," of which Charles Selby, the comedian,and Stirling Coyne, the well-known man of letters, each perpetrated atravestie in 1844. Selby's piece[40] was founded on the Colley Cibberadaptation, and introduced Henry VI., who, at the end, was representedas coming to life again and quietly assuming the crown which Richmondwas about to take. Richard also is resuscitated, after a fashion verypopular in burlesques of Shakespeare. Of literary merit Selby's workhad little.
[40] Produced at the Strand, with Hammond as Richard, Wigan as Henry VI., Romer as Tressel, Miss L. Lyons as Lady Anne, and so on.
Take, for example, his arrangement of the scene in which Richard woosthe Lady Anne:--
_Lady A._ Well, I never! You ugly, naughty man, Why do you thus torment the wretched Anne?
_Richard._ Torment! sweet saint, recall that killing word, And substitute adore.
_Lady A._ Indeed! I've heard Old gossips say he's but a silly calf, Who fondly thinks to catch old birds with chaff. Look on that pattern of thy gentle love! (_pointing off_ R.)
_Richard._ I do, and weep, my pretty turtle-dove. And yet methinks I can excuse myself.
_Lady A._ Wholesale butcher!
_Richard._ Thou dost abuse thyself! (_Rapidly, with great passion_) Thou art the cause of all my peccadilloes-- Thy beauty (like Battersean billows, Which market barges smash to shivereens, And cheat the town of _sparrow grass_ and greens), Thy fatal beauty, for whose dear sake, Of all the world I'd Epping sausage make! Or kill myself--(if thou shouldst wish me die) One hour on that soft breast to lie.
_Lady A._ Nonsense! I don't believe you! get along!
(_hitting him playfully with her fan_.).
_Richard._ I know, dear love, I've done thee grievous wrong! But though by me thy husband's death was done, 'Twas but to help thee to a better one.
_Lady A._ His better does not wear a head.
_Richard._ He lives who loves thee better.
_Lady A._ Whom?
_Richard._ Nay, guess.
_Lady A._ I can't. I'm a dunce at riddle-me-ree. Some lunatic, of course?
_Richard._ Made so by thee! (_kneels_) Turn thy bright eyes on _this_ devoted head--
_Lady A._ Would they were _baganets_, to stick thee dead! (_crosses_ R.)
Richard. I would they were--that I at once might hop the twig! For now, with cruel scorn, they at me dig, And _homoeopathically_ mill me. If thou art determined, sweet, to kill me, This "Trifle from Sheffield" in my buzzum stick, And let the daylight through your loving Dick.
(_kneels and gives her his sword._)
Twenty-four years later, Mr. Burnand took up this subject. His work wascalled "The Rise and Fall of Richard III.," and was performed at theRoyalty. His treatment of the wooing scene may well be contrasted withthat of Selby. For instance:--
_Richard._ I see that you a passion for me foster----
_Anne._ Passion for you! High, mighty, double Glo'ster.
_Rich._ Oh, call me double Glo'ster, if you please, As long as I, in your eyes, am the cheese.
_Anne._ A cheese! Why, then I cut you. (_going_)
_Rich._ I've the daring To ask you to consider this cheese _paring_.
_Anne._ You are hump-backed.
_Rich._ Oh, hump-bug!
_Anne._ And knock'd knee'd.
_Rich._ A friend in-knee'd, ma'am, is a friend indeed.
In puns, and good puns too, this piece is particularly prolific. Thus,Richard's mother says of him that
He as a child took early to the bottle, As all our family did, and my relations-- I can look back on many _ginny_-rations. Yes, and my ancestors--they never fought With greater spirit than at A-_gin_-court.
Buckingham says to Richard--
Don't be Protector, Richard--be Dick-tator.
Richmond says of him:--
There Richard lays;
whereupon Richard replies:--
To order sir, I rise; Who says "_he lays_" grammatically _lies_.
Of Richmond, the Duchess of York observes:--
His hair is cut so short where once it flowed.
_Richard._ Tis a French crop, like grass--'tis _a la mowed_.
Richmond, by the way, is supposed to be fresh from France, and talksbroken English. The Duchess aforesaid asks him:--
How are you, Richmond? well? or _Richmond 'ill_?
Buckingham says to Anne:--
I'll introduce, allow me, to your Grace, The Lord Mayor, the Recorder, and Jem _Mace_.
_Anne._ Their robes are beautiful. Oh, nicey, nicey! Especially the _Mace_--he does look _spicey_!
But perhaps the best pun in the piece is that which is made apropos ofthe fact that Catesby and Tyrell have fallen over the coal-scuttle onthe stairs and hurt themselves:--
_Richard._ My friends are hurt, so you'll excuse them grinning.
_Elizabeth._ Excuse! oh, they're more shinned against than shinning!
Talfourd's "Macbeth, somewhat removed from the Text of Shakespeare,"was first performed in 1847 at Henley-on-Thames during the regatta;next, at the Strand, in 1848; afterwards at the Olympic, in 1853. Atthe last-named theatre it had the advantage of the aid of Robson inthe title-part, of G. Cooke as Duncan, and of Mrs. A. Phillips as LadyMacbeth. It paraphrases the original fairly well until near the close,when, after Macduff has slain Macbeth, Duncan reappears (like Henry VI.in Selby's piece) and takes the crown from Malcolm. Similarly, Macbeth,his wife, and Banquo turn up again, and announce their willingness todie nightly.
In the first act Lady Macbeth comes in reading her husband's letter, asfollows:--
We met, 'twas on a heath, and on that day When victory had flushed us; really they Both turned our blood to _curds_ and stopped our _way_; Sally, report has said, and I have got A gothic notion, they know what is what; They called me, dear, all manner of rum things: While Cawdor's title in my noddle rings, Would you believe it? but a flunkey brings The news of Cawdor's death; I have to thank That queer old file for giving me his rank. One hailed me King--I pause to wipe my eye, For it's affecting.--Sally, dear, good-bye! Ever affectionately yours, till death Pops on his extinguisher,
SAMUEL MACBETH.
Lady Macbeth comments on this:--
Of all rum goes, this is about the rummest! Cawdor thou art, and shalt be--what thou'rt promised. Yet will thy scruples my intentions clog; To go at once the unadulterate hog
Is not thy nature. Thou'rt the style of buck That has the _will_ to sin, but not the _pluck_.
When Macbeth enters, she cries:--
Welcome, great Glamis!--welcome, worthy Cawdor! Nay greater! (_they embrace_).
_Macb._ Ducky! Duncan comes to-night, To stay and sup with us.
_Lady M._ Yes, that's all right. (_Significantly_) When _goes_ he hence?
_Macb._ To-morrow he'll endeavour.
_Lady M._ (_mysteriously_) Not if I knows it, Sammy-- trust me, never!
_Macb._ What mean you?
_Lady M._ Why, at such things you a muff are!
_Macb._ You wouldn't have me spifflicate the buffer? I must think more of this.
_Lady M._ Look (so thou wilt less Suspicion rouse) particularly guiltless-- Leave all the rest to me.
_Macb._ The _rest_? Don't fret at all;-- If I do this, no _rest_ for me--you'll get it all.
Then they sing a duet, to the tune of "There's a good time coming":--
_Lady M._ There's a good chance coming, Sam-- A good chance coming! If the King comes here to-day, We're not such flats as throw away The good chance coming!
_Macb._ But, my love, it's very wrong-- Nothing could be wronger Than such a thing----
_Lady M._ Well, hold your tongue, And wait a little longer!
The first burlesque of "The Tempest" made its appearance at theAdelphi in 1848. It was from the pen of the Brothers Brough, andwas entitled "The Enchanted Isle, or Raising the Wind on the mostApproved Principles." "O." Smith was Prospero, with Miss Taylor as hisdaughter Miranda; Miss Woolgar being the Ferdinand, with Paul Bedfordfor her father--the Ariel Mme. Celeste, and the Caliban Munyard. Someyears were destined to elapse before the subject again attracted theburlesque writer; and the writer then was Mr. Burnand, who gave to hiswork the name of "Ariel," submitting it to the public in 1883 at theGaiety. Miss Ellen Farren took the title-part, with Mr. Henry Monkhouseas Prospero, Mr. Frank Wyatt as Sebastian, Mr. Dallas as Alonso, andMiss Connie Gilchrist as Miranda. This "perversion" was in three acts,and was one of the productions which led the way to the New Burlesque.
To Talfourd belongs the distinction of being the first to burlesque"The Merchant of Venice." He called his work "Shylock, or the Merchantof Venice Preserved: an entirely New Reading of Shakespeare, from anedition hitherto undiscovered by modern authorities, and which it ishoped may be received as the stray leaves of a Jerusalem Hearty-Joke."This came out at the Olympic in 1853, and again Talfourd had Robson asthe exponent of his principal character. Again, too, he followed hisoriginal with some care, burlesquing rather in detail than on broadlines. Take, for example, his "reading" of a portion of the trialscene. Shylock has been foiled by Portia, and wishes to leave thecourt:--
_Shy._ Give me my principal, and I'll away.
_Por._ Best _carry out_ your _principle_ and stay. Nay, Shylock, though you choose forgive the debt, You'd find the law had hold upon you yet.
_Shy._ I say, young man, your practice rather sharp is.
_Grat._ Not when he practises on the _Jews-harp-ies_.
_Ant._ Shylock, although your conduct in this case In its whole tenor has been thorough base, On one condition I won't press the charge, And you're at liberty to go at large.
_Shy._ At large? I feel particularly small, (_Aside_) But thank my stars that I can go at all.
(_Shylock is going, but is prevented by the officers of the Court_)
_Ant._ There are two points, though, that I must insist on: You'll shave your face and look more like a Christian, And take your daughter to your arms again.
_Shy._ Well, since you've got the upper hand, it's plain I must knock under--and I will, I swear, Receive my heiress and cut off my _hair_! (_Jessica and Lorenzo come forward._)
_Jess._ You pardon us, pa?
_Shy_. Yes, howe'er distressing To my paternal feelings, take my blessing. Fathers, I think, will own my case a hard 'un, She's done for pa, and now she asks her _par-don_.
Gratiano, in this version, is represented as a flunkey, in whichcharacter he makes love to Nerissa:--
Blush not that I'm a footman, I conjures; Let not my _plushes_ be the cause of yours. _You_ to the eyes--but, though more difficulter, _I_ to the knees plush as the _knee plush ultra_.
Everywhere the puns are as clever as they are bright. Portia says toNerissa:--
Mind, a maiden should Of kisses to a bearded man be chary.
_Nerissa._ Such a salute, ma'am, must be _salute-hairy_.
Launcelot, again, says to Jessica:--
But smile again, and all will sunshine be, Sweet Israelite, you _is real light_ to me!... Mock not my misery--I know full well I'm a poor _serf_ and _he's_ a heavy _swell_.
Once more, Shylock says:--
My only heiress, folks will say in mock, Fled like a _timid hair_ from a _Shy-lock_!... Unfeeling child, who's left her sire to sigh, Without a _tie_ or _prop_ or _prop-er-ty_.
We come now to the production, at the Lyceum in 1856, of WilliamBrough's perversion of "The Winter's Tale,"--"Perdita, or the RoyalMilkmaid."[41] This was fitted with a prologue in which Time sang aneffective song, descriptive of the author's aims and intentions, andwinding up with this ingenuous verse:--
[41] See pp. 39, 40.
This period to match, in each single snatch Of music to be sung, I've tried of The oldest tunes to get, including that as yet Unknown melody the old cow died of. And that all might be In antiquity Alike, I for my puns cry quarter, For I've chosen, good folks, The most ancient jokes For this worthy old dramatist's slaughter.
When Autolycus appears upon the scene, with his pedlar's box, he ismade to excuse his "conveying" propensities in a ditty suggested by thethen popular song called "Bobbing Around":--
The shopkeeper who gives short weight Is robbing all round, all round, all round; The grocers who adulterate, Like me go robbing all round.
The milkman in his lowly walk Goes robbing all round, all round, all round; When, 'stead of milk, he walks his chalk, And so goes robbing around.
The publican dilutes our beer, A robbing all round, all round, all round; With water, and still worse, I fear, So he goes robbing all round.
In all we eat, or drink, or buy, There's robbing all round, all round, all round, And tradesmen with each other vie, Who'll best do robbing all round.
Who'll first at me, then, throw a stone For robbing around, around, around? My trade's as honest as their own, Since all go robbing around.
Mr. Burnand has written two burlesques on "Antony and Cleopatra"--onebrought out under that title at the Haymarket in 1866; the otherproduced at the Gaiety in 1873, under the name of "Our Own Antonyand Cleopatra." A third travestie of the tragedy, called "Mdlle.Cleopatra," and written by Mr. W. Sapte, junior, was seen at the Avenuein the present year.
A Book of Burlesque: Sketches of English Stage Travestie and Parody Page 8
