Tools of the Devil

by Barbara L. Clanton

  “Uh, anyway,” Lisa interrupted. “I have to go. Nice to see you all here.” Without waiting for a reply, Lisa turned and headed toward Marcus.

  “What’s wrong?” Marcus said. “You look mad or something.”

  Lisa blew out a sigh, shook her head, and said, “People can be idiots.”

  Marcus burst out laughing. “That’s why we’re here, Lisa. That's why we’re here.” He waved his hands around to include the podiums, the cameras, and the big crowd of people.

  Marcus and Lisa went over their notes and felt good about their strategy. After a kiss for luck from their respective girlfriends, they were ready to take on Alivia and Ronnie. Jordan called for order which took more than a few minutes as chairs were moved and snacks procured. It was as if people were getting ready to watch a movie. He went over the ground rules again, and made it perfectly clear to the audience that they were not to react either way to the arguments presented and that he’d clear the room if they did.

  “Debaters, are you ready?” Jordan asked from behind the cameras.

  “Yep,” Lisa said.

  “As we’ll ever be,” Ronnie said.

  “Ready, Anne?” Jordan asked. At her nod, he said, “The Not-a-Sin side has the first go. Two minutes to present.” Jordan turned and said something to the camera operators who all nodded. “Okay, ready?”

  Lisa nodded again.

  “And action.”

  “Our opponents,” Lisa nodded toward the opposition, “will most assuredly bring out the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. Two out of many towns that fell out of favor with God and were struck down. But why did the towns fall out of favor?”

  “We find out about God’s displeasure with Sodom in Genesis 13:13,” Marcus said and then read from his Bible. “Now the people of Sodom were wicked, great sinners against the Lord.” He nodded his head slowly. “We see it again in Genesis 18:20-21.” He read, “Then the Lord said, ‘How great is the outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah and how very grave their sin! I must go down and see whether they have done altogether according to the outcry that has come to me; and if not, I will know.’” Marcus closed the book. “But it still isn’t exactly clear what those sins were, is it?”

  Lisa picked up the point. “Ezekiel 16:49-50 reads, ‘This was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy. They were haughty, and did abominable things before me; therefore I removed them when I saw it.’ Other than not sharing with the poor and needy, we don’t know what other abominable things they did. It’s not clear.” She looked down at her notes for a moment and continued, “Then, of course, there was that fateful day God sent the angels to Sodom. These are the passages that seem to get everybody’s panties in a wad.” The kids in the room burst out laughing despite Jordan’s best glares. Knowing the time clock was ticking, Lisa read from Genesis 19:45. “But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house; and they called to Lot, ‘Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, so that we may know them.’” Lisa raised her eyebrows. “And we all know what the phrase ‘to know them’ means. If you don’t know, Google it.”

  Even Freddie and Rebekah laughed along with everyone else. The crowd stifled itself quickly, though, because Jordan looked ready to blow a gasket.

  Lisa cleared her throat. “Let me shorten this story a little. Lot pleaded with the men of the town to back off, they wouldn’t, and then in verse nine they said to Lot, ‘This fellow came here as an alien, and he would play the judge! Now we will deal worse with you than with them.’”

  Marcus leaned forward to make a point. “Back in history, victorious armies would often humiliate leaders of the losing army. And I don’t mean to sound crass, but many times this involved rape. Oh, sure there were beheadings and body parts mounted on sticks to scare off other enemies, but it seems to me that the issue with the men of the town of Sodom is not consensual and loving sex between men. Not even close. It was intended rape.” Marcus pounded his fist on the podium. “Rape!”

  Lisa jumped at the violence of it. They had not rehearsed that.

  “Time!” Anne called.

  Lisa blew out a sigh and turned to face Marcus. “That was epic.”

  “Sorry, I have a cousin who was raped, and I just got really mad thinking about that.” “That sucks, Marcus,” Lisa put a consoling hand on his arm.

  “I’m sorry that happened.”

  “Thanks.”

  Jordan turned to Alivia and Ronnie and said, “You have ten minutes to prepare your rebuttal.”

  “Yes, sir,” Ronnie saluted his boyfriend. He scurried off with Alivia to the table where Karl and a couple of other kids sat.

  Lisa and Marcus joined Sam and their friends at their table.

  “Great job, you guys,” Sam said.

  “Really good,” Julie said. “I’m so proud of you.” Julie tousled Marcus’s hair and his blush returned.

  Lisa smiled at them. They were so cute together, and they were so amazingly awesome for helping out with the debate. Lisa was just about to suggest they figure out a Leviticus strategy when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

  Jessica stood there without smiling. “Um, hey, listen, we’re gonna get going, okay?”

  “Come on, Jess,” the girl with the blonde braids whined from the doorway. “This is so boring.”

  “Sorry about that,” Jessica said quietly to Lisa. It was obvious that Jessica was embarrassed by her friend’s outburst. “I’ll see you in school tomorrow, okay?”

  Lisa held her lips tight together and simply nodded. She almost felt sorry for Jessica. Almost.

  Alivia and Ronnie used their full ten minutes to prepare their statements. Jordan called them back to their podiums, checked on the camera operators, and exchanged a nod with Anne.

  Lisa and Marcus were ready to take notes on whatever was thrown at them. Sam and the rest of their friends gave them a thumbs-up even though there was really nothing to give them encouragement for at that moment. They had to wait and see what Ronnie and Alivia had up their sleeves.

  “Everyone ready?” Jordan asked. At their collective nods, he said, “And, action.”

  Ronnie held up his Bible for effect. “It’s quite clear what sins the Bible was referring to in the Sodom story. Jude 1:7 in the Old Testament reads thusly, ‘Likewise, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which, in the same manner as they, indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural lust, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.’” He shook the Bible and said, “They pursued unnatural lusts. Unnatural. Now,” he grabbed the edges of the podium and looked straight into one of the cameras, “In the spirit of full disclosure, the words ‘unnatural lust’ were translated from the Greek words that mean ‘went after other flesh.’ And sure, sure, sure, our opposition says that same-sex relations are completely natural. Look at the animal kingdom, they said. It’s common in nature and a simple matter of biology.” He grew quiet for the barest of moments. “We researched their claims. No, seriously, we did. And, you know what? It’s true. I know, I know, it’s hard to believe, but animals really do have gay sex. Even hedgehogs which is almost cute, but we want to remind you of something.” Ronnie stepped back to make room for Alivia.

  Alivia said, “The scripture I am about to read is from Genesis 1:26, the very first chapter in the very first book of the Holy Bible.” She opened her Bible and read, “Then God said, ‘Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness; and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the wild animals of the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.’” She closed the book softly. “It is clear here that God created humankind separately from the animals. It’s also clear that He intended for humans to rule over them.”

  Ronnie continued. “This separation is made cl
earer in Genesis 1:28. ‘God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.”’ As you can see, God did not create humankind to be like animals, therefore, this biology theory put forth by our opponents, is simply not valid.”

  Alivia stepped back up. “So you see? Our opposition is grasping at straws. They’re bending the word of the Lord to suit their needs. They—”

  “Time,” Anne called much louder than necessary. She must have been as annoyed with Alivia as Lisa was.

  Jordan called the four debaters into a huddle. “This is amazing. The energy in here is fantastic. We still have a little time; do you guys want to keep going?”

  Marcus looked at Lisa and shrugged. Lisa said, “It’s their turn to bring up a new argument, right?”

  “Yup,” Jordan said.

  “I guess if they’re ready to give, then we’re ready to receive.” Lisa looked at Ronnie, purposely not Alivia.

  “What do you think, beautiful lady?” Ronnie asked Alivia.

  It took all of Lisa’s strength not to roll her eyes.

  “Let’s go for it,” Alivia said.

  “Yay,” Ronnie bounced up and down and clapped his hands like a three year old.

  “It is done,” Jordan said. He turned to the crowd that had miraculously remained still, and announced that they would keep going with the debate. Apparently it was a popular decision because the room filled with cheers.

  “Ronnie, Alivia, do you want ten minutes to prepare?”

  “Nah,” Alivia said smugly. “We’re ready.”

  “Can we have five minutes, Jordan?” Marcus asked. “We weren’t expecting this and need to reprioritize our notes.”

  “That’s all you need? Five?”

  Marcus nodded and Lisa agreed. They scurried back to their table and said, “Leviticus,” in unison causing everyone to laugh. They hastily scribbled Bible citations on their note cards and checked to make sure their pink Leviticus-defense post-it notes were in place. Pink had been Marcus’s idea.

  “Are we ready?” Lisa said to Marcus. The butterflies in her stomach were multiplying.

  “Better than ready,” he said with confidence.

  As they headed back to the podium, Lisa was excited, but wondered if it was boring for people in the audience. Maybe not, because, except for Jessica and her crew, everyone was still there. Oh well, religion and the Bible weren’t for everyone, but, even Marlee, the atheist, was interested.

  “Places everyone,” Jordan called. “Quiet on the set.” He waited a few moments for the conversations to die out and asked, “Ready?” Four heads nodded in unison. “And action.”

  Alivia practically shouted, “You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination. Leviticus 18:22.”

  Ronnie said each of his words slowly and deliberately. “‘If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death.’ Leviticus 20:13.”

  They stood in silence after that, looking straight ahead. The silence began to grow longer and more uncomfortable with every second.

  Jordan stood up and whispered, “Is that it?”

  Ronnie nodded.

  Lisa and Marcus waived their right to a ten-minute planning period and let loose with everything they’d gathered to refute many of the ancient and outdated laws from Leviticus. They had their pick of the ridiculous, like the one from Leviticus 25:44 which said, “As for the male and female slaves whom you may have, it is from the nations around you that you may acquire male and female slaves,” or Leviticus 10:6, “Do not dishevel your hair, and do not tear your vestments, or you will die and wrath will strike all the congregation sent.” Lisa and Marcus hammered the opposition with bizarre law after law. Two minutes was not enough time for everything they had, and time was called before they were done.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.”— Mark 11:25

  LISA LAY HER head down on her arms at their usual lunch table. The sounds of the cafeteria were getting more raucous with every passing minute.

  “You look miserable, Lisa.” Marlee threw her brown paper lunch bag on the table.

  “I am miserable,” Lisa mumbled into her arms. She sat up just as Julie and Marcus were joining them. “Hey, you guys.”

  Julie laughed and said, “You look like shit, Brown girl.”

  “Shut up, White girl,” Lisa joked.

  “We gave ’em hell last night, didn’t we, Lisa?” Marcus said as he pulled a sandwich out of his lunch bag.

  “Pun intended?” Lisa laughed.

  “Honey,” Julie said to Marcus, “that was a good one.”

  It was so cute how he turned red whenever she gave him attention. He was sixteen, but he was like a little boy sometimes.

  “You know what, guys?” Lisa said. “Even though time got called on us last night, I don’t think it mattered. I’m not sure we had enough substance to our Leviticus arguments.”

  “What d’ya mean?” Marlee said around a mouthful of cookies. She had gotten over her cookie trauma and was back to devouring chocolate chip cookies on a regular basis.

  “Okay, so we quoted all those other stupid laws from the Old Testament. Like the one in Deuteronomy that said that if a man sleeps with a woman that’s not his wife, they should both die.”

  “Harsh,” Marlee said moving on to her chocolate milk.

  “And the other ones about not letting animals breed with different kinds of animals or planting your fields with different kinds of seeds.”

  Julie chimed in, “Or wearing clothes made from different materials. Marlee, I think your shirt is a cotton blend. You’re going to hell, woman.”

  Marlee picked at the sleeve of her shirt. “Bummer.”

  “And I’m not supposed to cut my hair or shave.” Marcus ran his fingers across his chin. He didn’t have much, but there was some stubble there. “The Old Testament was all about ridding Israel of evil,” Marcus said.

  “There were so many laws,” Lisa said. “Laws that God wanted obeyed in order to purify the people he was bringing to the Promised Land. Laws that make no sense now.”

  “A lot of those laws you quoted were about sex,” Marlee whispered. “Like the one that said if a man has sex with a woman during her monthlies, then they were both thrown out of the town. Okay, really? Isn’t that going a little overboard?”

  “The laws are outdated,” Julie said.

  “And that’s the point we made last night,” Lisa said. “Tried to anyway.”

  “Do you think we should have done something different?” Marcus asked.

  “No, I’m not questioning our strategy.” Lisa sighed and tried to figure out how to phrase her thoughts. “I guess I wanted a big slam dunk, a grand slam, a hat trick, a—”

  “You’ve got a lot of sports cliché's in a row there, Lisa,” Marlee said in between bites of her sandwich.

  “I know.”

  “Next Tuesday we’ll be doing our final statements,” Marcus said. “It’s our turn to start.”

  Lisa pressed her lips together and smiled. “You know what? I think I’m just tired. And, ugh, I’m tutoring Missy this afternoon. I don’t know why I thought tutoring her was such a brilliant idea.”

  All three of her friends wore the same disgusted expression on their faces which made Lisa laugh, and she felt better. For a little while.

  BEFORE LISA EVEN made it inside the house after getting home from school, her mother was out the door. “Thank you, Lisa. I should be home by 7:30.” She got into the van parked in the driveway. “The meatloaf is in the oven,” she called back before slamming the driver’s door.

  “Okay. Bye, Mom,” Lisa said to the outdoor air, knowing her mother couldn’t hear her. “Have fun at work
.” Lisa headed in the house.

  “Lisa,” Bridget said and came flying at her big sister.

  Lisa quickly flung her backpack to the floor, scooped her little sister up, and twirled her around three times. Bridget’s giggles were good for whatever ailed you. At least that’s what her father always said. Lisa agreed.

  Lisa put her sister down and hung her coat up on her designated hook. They each had hooks with their respective names on them. It was a Mother’s Day gift a couple of years ago from all the kids. Lisa was about to pick up her backpack to stash in her room, when she let her eye see the house the way Missy would see it. She was mortified. The mass of coats and boots was disheveled and messy. Bridget’s toys and books covered the floor. The kitchen table still held a few dirty dishes and glasses from breakfast.

  Lisa set her Anatomy book and notebook on the kitchen table and then flung her backpack into her bedroom. She went into overdrive cleaning and straightening the living room and bathroom. She straightened anything that Missy might see. Bridget, bless her, helped in her own way.

  “Hey, Sweetpea, can you wipe the kitchen table with a rag the way Mama showed you?”

  “Kay.” Bridget ran to the kitchen to get the rag.

  Way too soon, the doorbell rang.

  “Shit,” Lisa said and immediately regretted it.

  “Shit, shit, shit,” Bridget sang. “Shit, shit, shit.”

  Oh. My. God.

  “Bridget, let me get the door, okay?”

  Bridget’s pout and quivering bottom lip almost broke Lisa’s heart. Oh, God, don’t let her start crying.

  “Okay, okay. C’mon, Sweatpea, let’s see who’s at the door. Put the rag on the table first.”

  Bridget did as she was told and then ran to the front door, her curls flopping behind her.

  Lisa undid the deadbolt and then helped Bridget open the front door. Missy stood on the front stoop looking less than pleased to be there.