BOSS: The Wolf

by Jolie Day

  I can’t explain to my mum the reasons why I found it so hard to resist him, which only makes me feel more ridiculous about it. I let my sexual attraction to him throw all reason and logic out the window.

  “I was reckless,” I explain, looking back over the whole ordeal like it was a terrible nightmare. Only I’ve woken up with a very big and very real souvenir growing in my womb.

  “I suppose I could say the same about when I met your father.” Her gaze drifts off in memories. “I was surprised when he left and never came back, but really…no, that’s not it. I had a feeling all along that he would end up being bad news for me. When it came true, I was angrier with myself than him. But, I got you out of it. So, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.”

  “You would?”

  “In a heartbeat,” she repeats with a smile.

  “Even after this is what I’ve done with my life?” I quip, scoffing at myself.

  “A million times over,” she assures me with soothing confidence. “There’s nothing you could ever do that would make me not love you. And no matter what, I’m proud of you. You can do well on your own. You’ll be perfectly fine without a man. You’ll see. You’ll feel it, too, with that little peanut.” She scrunches her nose towards my belly.

  I want to argue scenarios in which I’m certain I’d prove her wrong—like murdering someone, for example. But she’ll just say more nice things and make me feel worse. What matters is that she’s taking me under her wing, and maybe eventually I’ll feel well enough for all her reassurance to actually break through the wall of dread I’m carrying with me now.

  We sit and talk a few more hours until I’m exhausted enough to topple right out of my seat. “Gosh, I’m feeling knackered.” She insists on carrying my luggage up the creaky stares for me as she leads me into my childhood bedroom.

  “You know, not much ever changes around here.” She stares at me from the doorway as she plops my bags down. “So, you should be able to find anything you might need. And of course, I’m just down the hall if you can’t.”

  I nod and glance around the room, desperate for some time alone again. But she can’t resist scooping me up into one final hug.

  “Get some rest. I bet you’ll feel a million times better after a few hours of sleep.”

  Once the door is gently closed behind her, I begin rummaging through my dresser drawers until I’ve found an oversized pink tie-dyed T-shirt with a unicorn on it. It’s the only thing left of my high school clothes that likely still fits, so I begrudgingly slide it over my head and take a look around.

  Being back in my room causes a lump to form in my throat. I look at my desk, still scattered with old journals, and the photos and artwork strung across the walls. I can’t help but laugh at my pitiful design sketches from before I realized I was better suited to working on the business side of fashion, rather than creating garments myself.

  I’m flooded with the nostalgia of being a young girl within these walls and all the things I dreamed. I wonder what sixteen-year-old Charlie would have said if someone told her I’d be back here now under these circumstances. It’s laughable and enough to make me start blubbering again, but thankfully, I think I’m finally all cried out.

  I climb into my bed, glancing at my cell phone before I close my eyes. There’s a flurry of missed calls and texts from Joel, but I ignore them. Mum’s right. I’ll be fine by myself. Surprisingly, there isn’t any news from Nora about the annulment paperwork. I was hoping to hear something so I could get that squared away first thing in the morning. I hope she was able to get to them before someone else in the office did, but regardless, it all feels so far away now. Even if everyone in the office caught onto our scandal, I’m tucked away safely in London where none of it can get to me.

  And as for Joel, my mum’s right. It does take two to tango, and whatever he faces if our secret gets out—then it serves him right. No reason I should be the only one to fall under all this regret on my own. Why should he get to walk away free and clear?

  Once I get comfortable, it’s hard not to wonder if things could have been any different. I cringe at the thought of having him stumble into one of our child’s birthday parties after he hadn’t been around for a while, maybe with another fling on his arm.

  No, I’m far better off right where I am, blissfully unaware of how his face would look all bent into shock over the news. Probably still adorable. Ugh. And I’ll never have to feel the blow of his apology when he tells me he can’t be a husband and father—when he reminds me this little one-off was just that, and nothing more to him.

  The exhaustion of everything mixed with jet lag settles in, and I finally drift off into a deep sleep.

  I jump up in my bed, not entirely sure why I’ve been startled awake. It’s pitch black outside, and I feel like I’ve been sleeping for a thousand years.

  There’s some kind of commotion downstairs. My mum’s yelling at someone at the front door. My groggy, half-asleep brain passes it off as a salesman at first, but what kind of people make sales calls at this early hour?

  I flip on the lamp and stumble out of bed. As I get closer to my door, I hear a man’s voice that makes me freeze. It sounds chillingly familiar, but no. It can’t be. I must be dreaming. But the cold metal of the doorknob is painfully real, and the voices only become more distinct as I step out into the hall.

  “Please, if I could just come in and—”

  “Oh, no, sir!” my mum shouts in an angry tone. “I don’t know why you wasted your time coming all this way, but you are most certainly not welcome in this house!”

  My pounding heart suddenly feels like it stops completely. I’m afraid to look, but I know I have to. I take a few more steps, and feel my nipples harden from the cool air. I peek around the corner just enough to confirm my worst fear. Joel! It’s Joel—standing at my mum’s doorstep in the middle of the night. Rain is pouring down around him so much that they both have to shout over the sound of it, though my mother would likely be shouting regardless.

  I immediately retreat back a few steps to keep him from seeing me, my heart hammering against my chest. Bloody hell, what is he doing here? A phone call couldn’t have sufficed? Ugh, but then I remember he has been calling. And texting. But I haven’t answered or read any of the messages. Even still—what is there to say? As far as he knows, we only have this annulment to sort out, and that doesn’t require him hopping on a plane to London.

  The two continue arguing as I stand there frozen, hoping she’ll scare him off back to the states. But what if she doesn’t, and I have to face him? I wipe at my mouth, feeling bits of dried drool still stuck to the corners of my lips from how deep of a sleep I was in. My hair was already thrown in a messy bun on top of my head to begin with, and I can’t imagine how much worse it appears now. Then there’s the issue of my clothes—nothing but this horrendous pink tie-dyed unicorn T-shirt, not even long enough to keep my panties completely covered, nor loose enough to keep my nipples from peaking against the cloth.

  Maybe I can just bolt back into the bedroom quick enough to change, just in case. If I have to lie and tell Joel I never want to see him again, I can’t do it looking like this.

  “You have to understand,” Joel continues pleading. “I love your daughter.”

  The pounding in my chest returns. What did he just say? I can’t walk away now. I’d miss what’s going on, but I can’t pop around the corner, either. I’m frozen like a squirrel in the middle of the road—unsure of which way to run.

  “Pfft.” My mom scoffs, unimpressed. “I know how men like you are. You’re so in love until you get a girl pregnant—and then you vanish.”

  There’s a deafening silence.

  And some more.

  And some more.

  “You don’t have anything to say to that, do you? ’Cause you’re just like the rest of them.”

  It’s like a train wreck that I can’t stop. My mum just told him about the baby by blurting that out. And wait—did Joel really say
he loves me? My legs finally take control and send me throttling around the corner, but only to the top of the stairs.

  It’s enough to see the look of shock on Joel’s face—every bit as adorable as I imagined it would be.

  My mum is fed up and impatient, threatening to slam the door in his face, but he manages to snap out of it and get his wits about him just in time to thrust his foot against the doorframe to keep it from shutting.

  “I’m sorry,” his voice is thin and shaky. “Did you say…pregnant?”

  Finally, I bring myself to take a few steps further down the stairs, pulling my absurd T-shirt down as far as I can, but it’s no use. This is happening. This is really happening. I look like a hot mess in a pre-teen shirt with my hair full of knots, and Joel’s standing on the doorstep of my childhood home, grappling with the rather abrupt and less-than-ideal delivery of the news that I’m pregnant with his child.

  24

  Joel

  Charlie’s inching her way down the stairs in nothing but a T-shirt and those naked legs. Her mother’s face softens between us in embarrassment.

  “You didn’t tell him?” she half-squeaks and half-growls at her daughter through clenched teeth before turning back to me. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

  With that, she’s gone.

  Charlie nods sheepishly, despite her mother being long gone, her disheveled hair flopping around on the top of her head. Before I can make another move, my phone starts buzzing. It’s the tenth call I’ve gotten since I’ve been standing in this doorway.

  Everybody at the company is completely floored as to why I would have taken off right after telling them the IPO deal was salvageable without any further instructions. Clay and Eric know what I’m up to, but I asked them to keep their mouths shut and just wait to hear from me. Everybody’s on edge about it. If we don’t get the investors to come around soon, all the paperwork and every step of the process will have to start over again from the beginning, setting us back months.

  That would be important right now, combined with the sight of the woman I love standing there in that shirt and no bra, along with the next arousing sight, her panties, showing underneath. All of it would stir a lot more in me if there hadn’t just been a huge crack in the earth beneath my feet.

  “Pregnant,” I repeat in shock. “Did she just say…”

  Charlie looks angry, embarrassed, and heartbroken all at once. A pang of guilt hits me for not tracking her down in person sooner. I didn’t know what to make of her mostly ignoring my calls after Vegas. I should’ve told the lawyers to fuck off and gone straight to her apartment. But I didn’t know until now…and seeing the obvious hell she’s been going through alone for days, it’s killing me inside. I feel like an asshole.

  She sighs with acceptance. I’m here now, and she can’t just leave me out in the dark rain. Well, she could, and probably should. But thankfully she just waves me in.

  “Come inside. I just need a moment to change.”

  “I prefer what you’re wearing,” I joke on impulse, even though nothing feels that funny right now.

  I cut my eyes over to the dark living room to my left and her mother at the kitchen table to my right. I see an eager expression in her gaze when her eyes find mine. Almost like a combo of an awkward, hopeful, go-get-her look. I chuckle to myself. The irony isn’t lost on me that just a few minutes ago, Mrs. Walker wanted to throw my ass out, fighting me like I was Godzilla trying to kidnap her kid. Now she’s giving me an apologetic expression (fuck, she heard me laugh!), but it says more of a “go get her, but don’t fuck it up” look. Man, Charlie’s just like her mom.

  It’s a small house without many places to hide in. I won’t have a moment alone to process what I’ve just been told. But I know for sure I don’t want to be left alone with her mom.

  “Can I come up?” I ask.

  She groans a little and motions for me to follow behind, and I get a great view of her ass. I bound up the stairs and let her lead the way to her bedroom. We step inside of the pastel-pink room with black-and-white polka dotted sheets. It’s like a time capsule to her teenage years, complete with boy band posters on the walls. I’ve got to hide my grin. Freddie Mercury, T’Pau, Billy Idol?

  She grabs a pair of shorts from her dresser and slips them on, stopping for a minute to try and put herself together in front of the mirror. It takes everything in me not to wrap my arms around her from behind and tell her she’s perfectly gorgeous the way she is, but given the huge bomb that’s just been dropped, it doesn’t seem right.

  “Guess there’s no use in trying to look all pristine and perfect in front of you now.” She shrugs, giving up before turning to plop down on the edge of her mattress. “What are you doing here, Joel?”

  “What are you doing here?” I gawk, still stunned. “I ran into your friend, what’s-her-name…Nora, when she came to pick up the annulment paperwork. She told me where to find you.” I shake my head. “But I had no idea.”

  Her eyes looked hopeful minutes ago, but then she slips into something sullen. “Right, so you wouldn’t have come and professed your love for me to my mum if you’d known?”

  “What? No. No, that’s not what I’m saying.” I collapse down on the bed next to her. “Just give me a minute to take this in.”

  I rake my hands through my hair. This is all definitely real. I didn’t just fall asleep on the plane. Charlie’s sitting here next to me, and her mother just told me she’s pregnant.

  “You’re sure?”

  “I haven’t seen a doctor yet. But, I’m over a week late now, and I got a positive pregnancy test back in New York.” Her eyes start to fill with tears.

  “You weren’t going to tell me?”

  “Of course not!” She crosses her arms. “You said you didn’t want a relationship. I knew you didn’t want to get married in a million years. You even mentioned you didn’t want kids. I figured worst case—you didn’t care, and you’d break my heart. Best case—you’d pretend to care and end up resenting me and the baby.”

  I shake my head again, wanting to defend myself, but really—she’s got every right to think those things. I haven’t seen her or talked to her since Vegas, except for the short phone call about work. No wonder she feels this way. This grand epiphany that’s been building in my mind is all news to her.

  “I tried calling.”

  “Well, excuse me for not answering,” she snaps. “But I was in the middle of a ‘fleeing the country pregnancy crisis.’”

  I swing my leg up next to hers and take her hands in mine. There’s a spark of anger in her eyes, but that doesn’t make them any less beautiful. I’d only just come around to accepting that she’s the woman I love, and now I know I’m staring at the woman who’s also the mother of my child. It’s so overwhelming I almost have to look away, but I quickly swallow it down enough to get out the words I need to say.

  “You should know I remembered more about that night in Vegas,” I explain in a softer tone.

  She raises an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah?”

  I meet her gaze so she can see I’m sincere. “Yeah. It was my idea. The whole marriage thing.”

  “So, this is all your fault.” There’s a hint of teasing in her tone.

  “I’m afraid so.” I smirk. “But, Charlie…I don’t know how to say this. It’s all I’ve been thinking about for days. It wasn’t just some dumb drunk idea. I suggested it because I think part of me knew even then that…I’m madly in love with you.” The tears that had been welling in her eyes start streaming down her cheeks. “You said marriage should be like finding your partner in crime. Do you remember?”

  She looks away for a moment, seeming to rack her brain for any trace of the words. Then winces a little, hanging her head. “Oh, dear. Yes, I remember.”

  “Right, and when you said that I’d know when I’d found mine. It’s you. You’re the partner I want by my side for whatever adventures life brings our way.”

  It’s the perfect moment, or it would be if i
t wasn’t for the incessant buzzing of my phone in my pocket. “Dammit, I’m sorry.” I pull it out to shut it off. “It’s this IPO deal—the whole thing’s started to go to shit, and—It doesn’t matter. It’s not important right now.”

  “What do you mean? What happened?”

  “We don’t have to talk about that right now. I just want to talk about us.”

  “Joel,” she scolds. “Embry is a huge part of your life, and you’ve been working on this deal for months. Tell me what happened.”

  I sigh and reluctantly explain the whole thing, not really understanding why it matters now. But in my stress, I blurt out more than I meant to about my dad and the club. I just start talking and don’t stop until it’s all out there. I know I said too much. I can see it in her eyes.

  She just found out the father of her child comes from a biker gangster with a troubled past who couldn’t get his life straight before it was too late. Throw in the murder scandals, and it’s enough to make any woman run. And now I’ve got to pay the price for it in more ways than one. She’s got to be thinking I’ll turn out just like him. Just like I used to. But there’s no way I’d bring that same restless spirit to the table or break my loyalty to them.

  But instead, she takes me into her arms with the most warmth I’ve ever known. “I know how hard it is to grow up without a father. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to be in your shoes, Joel. I’m sorry.”

  “I’ll be better than that for our baby,” I promise her. “I can be. If you’ll give me a chance. Things can be different for him…or her.”

  I know. I know. This is the moment where I should probably tell her I don’t think I’m good enough and afraid I can’t be a good dad. That she’s young and should run from a guy with a shitty past and commitment issues, yada, yada, yada. Well, fuck that shit. I’ll love the hell out of that kid—our child. I can’t wait to be the best dad in the world. I can’t wait to give my kid warmth, love, and protection. I’ll be around. Same goes for her. She’s the woman I’ve been waiting for all my life. She’s the feisty woman I never knew I wanted. She’s mine and I’ll never let her go. I’ll give the kid and her a family, no matter what.