Bloodlust

by Michelle Rowen

  “Just a little bloodlust and an aversion to sunlight.” I grimaced. “Sounds like a fair trade.”

  “I’m not sure about that.” Declan pulled his silver blade from the leather sheath at his hip.

  So much for my heartfelt admission. It hadn’t made any damn difference. He was still going to kill me. “You don’t have to do this. You need to untie me, and then we have to find Matthias and get the hell out of here.”

  “I find it difficult to give a shit what happens to Matthias, actually.”

  “My connection to him is no different than your connection to Kristoff. A means to an end, that’s all.”

  His eye narrowed. “The only difference is I didn’t have to fuck Kristoff for our connection, I just had to drink his blood.”

  I stared at him. “I didn’t have sex with Matthias.”

  Surprise flickered in his gaze. “I don’t believe you.”

  “It’s true.”

  He pulled back enough that I could see his shadowed face and that fiery look in the black as midnight eye. “I don’t know how he can be so close to you and not lose control of himself.”

  I eyed the sharp knife he held. “Maturity. Practice. Self-denial.”

  “It was a rhetorical question, but it’s great to know you’re such a fan of the former vampire king.”

  Anger burned away anything else I was feeling. “I’m sick of talking, Declan. I’ve had my say. Do it. Get it over with.”

  “Okay.” He raised the knife.

  So much for my bluff. I couldn’t die, not before I knew Meg and Julie were okay. “No, wait! You’re not the same as the others. You can control yourself. You’re not like Noah was last night. And Kristoff has no power over you. He’s your father, but that doesn’t mean a damn thing. I know you, Declan, and I know I’ve hurt you, but you don’t have to—”

  “I’m not going to kill you, Jill. I never was.”

  I sucked in a mouthful of air so deeply I nearly choked on it as his words registered with me. I glared at him. “Then stop fucking around and untie me.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He moved behind me to slit the ropes with the knife, freeing my hands. I rubbed my rope-burned wrists gingerly as he sheathed the knife. I didn’t move an inch from where I stood. Neither did he.

  “Tell me again why you asked Kristoff to sire me,” he said softly, raising his gaze from my wrists to my eyes.

  I blinked. “Because I need you.”

  “Why else?”

  “Because I didn’t want you to die.”

  “Why else?” He slid his hand down my right cheek and wiped away a tear there.

  I touched his hand, still warm unlike Matthias’s cool skin—the difference four hundred years as a vampire would make. Relief washed over me. “Because I love you so much I knew I’d die if you did.”

  He shook his head. “That’s your bond with Matthias, not ours.”

  “Maybe on paper. But not where it counts.”

  His frown deepened and the dark veins were still there on his face. “He’s better-looking than me, richer, more powerful. And he can control himself around you.”

  “I’m sure you’re trying to make a point, but it’s lost on me.” I flattened my hands on the broad, muscled slabs of his chest. His warmth was more a relief than I thought it was. I guess vampires took time to cool off, since Declan was still hot to the touch.

  His expression showed dark hunger as his mouth closed over mine. I kissed him, pulling him against me. He growled against my lips and it sounded pained and uncertain.

  “Fuck,” he whispered harshly against my lips. “This is pure torture.”

  I tried to catch my breath. “You don’t have to be this close to me.”

  “Wrong. I’ve dreamed about this for days. About you.”

  My fear from earlier had been replaced with something else, something like cautious optimism and relief. And as he kissed me again, I felt a deep aching need inside me. I wanted him so badly, and I never thought this could happen again between us. Especially not now that he’d been changed.

  But he hadn’t changed that much. He just had a couple more issues to deal with now.

  He grabbed the sides of my black dress and pulled it up over my hips, then hooked his fingers into the sides of my panties and pulled them down over my legs so I was naked from the waist down. He grasped my buttocks and pulled me against him firmly so I could feel his erection straining against the front of his pants. He’d barely stopped kissing me the entire time. He ground himself against me as if he couldn’t control himself. The bedpost dug into my back, but I barely felt it. I just felt him. And he felt good.

  He pulled back a little to look into my eyes. “Jill . . . this isn’t easy for me . . .”

  “I know.”

  “I want to taste you.”

  Panic fluttered in my chest. “You can’t. Declan . . . maybe this is a mistake. It’s too soon—”

  “Do you want me to stop?” His face was so tense for a moment.

  “No.” I slid my hand from his shoulders up over his face, tracing one of the dark veins. It was flat against his skin and looked like a tattoo this close up. “I just don’t want you to lose control and bite me.”

  “I’ll try.”

  “That’s not good enough.”

  “I won’t bite you.”

  I smiled. “That’s better.”

  He swallowed, his Adam’s apple shifting as I brushed my lips over his throat. “Tell me what you want, Jill.”

  “Other than you not biting me?” I kissed his mouth again. “I want you inside of me.”

  That blunt request made him swear harshly under his breath.

  I slid my hands down his broad chest, over the hard ridges of his abdomen, to the waistband of his pants. I unbuttoned and unzipped and slid my hand inside, wrapping my fingers around his length while I worked his pants down over his hips. His breathing became more erratic as I began to stroke him.

  He swore under his breath as my mouth met his again, nearly hard enough to bruise, and a low groan escaped his throat.

  Moving a little away from the bedpost, he leaned me back on the waiting bed, pulling my dress off over my head, breaking the kiss only long enough to do so.

  Maybe this was only a dream. When I’d asked Kristoff to turn Declan into a vampire to save his life, I was convinced he’d be different, more monstrous, only interested in feeding and filled with rage that I’d made this decision for him. He’d been confused, of course. He didn’t know my motivation. He knew it now. I loved him, fangs or no fangs.

  Being a dhampyr must make the transition easier. Some dhampyrs got worse, more violent and uncontrollable, as Kristoff said—but maybe he was just saying that to scare me. Or maybe Declan was the exception. He’d been sired by a king—a centuries-old vampire who’d been conserving his strength for thirty years. Declan had been sired by his real father. That had to make a huge difference.

  I moaned as I felt Declan’s weight cover me, his hands stroking my inner thighs as he spread my legs. I fumbled to grasp his thick cock and guide it against me. He growled, his lips curling back to show his fangs, and he grasped my wrist to pull my hand away from him, bringing both of my arms up over my head.

  “It’ll be over too soon if you keep touching me like that.”

  I grinned a little, but it faded as I felt him push against me, stretching me as he guided himself inside slowly . . . so slowly. He released my wrists so I could grip his shoulders as he filled me.

  I held his face between my hands and stared up at him. We stayed exactly like this, unmoving, just feeling—skin to skin, his body deeply inside of mine—for a few moments before he began to rock his hips against mine.

  I gasped. “Declan . . .”

  “You have no idea how this feels.” His voice was raw and ragged against my ear. “Pleasure and pain.”

  “Fifty-fifty?”

  He brushed his mouth against mine. “Sixty-forty.”

  “Better.”

 
I was shocked at how this night had ended up. I half expected a fit of rage to take him over like last time, but nothing happened except for the exquisite sensation of his body sliding in and out of mine.

  “Just . . . don’t . . . bite me,” I managed to whisper against his lips.

  He made a broken sound and it could have been a laugh. “I’ll try my best.”

  I groaned as he suddenly pulled completely out of me. “What are you doing? Is something wrong?”

  His mouth was on my throat, kissing me there. I tensed so I grabbed his face and brought him up a little so I could look into his eye. He looked serious and his breathing was labored.

  “What?”

  “I thought you were lost to me.”

  “When?”

  “Kristoff told me about Matthias’s claim on you.” He pressed his lips to my collarbone before moving his hands and mouth to my breasts. I felt the sharp edge of his brand-new fangs against my left nipple and it made me jump.

  “Be careful,” I warned.

  “Careful . . .” He slid his tongue between my breasts and down to my belly button, leaving a damp circle behind, as he moved even lower on my body. “Not sure I want to be.”

  Worry mixed with the pleasure he was giving me. “Promise me you’ll never bite me.”

  “I won’t bite you.” He kissed my inner thigh. “But I can still taste you.”

  I felt the rasp of his stubble a moment before the hot, wet slide of his tongue against me. I arched my back and cried out. His mouth on me was enough to send me right over the edge. It didn’t take long before the pleasure was too intense and my orgasm crashed over me, leaving me moaning and crying his name over and over. The world appeared to grow dark around the edges and I thought for a second I was going to black out.

  Declan gathered me into his arms, pulling me up off the bed so I was seated on his lap and I felt him slide into me again. I felt boneless and liquid and I clung to him as his thrusts became deeper and harder.

  “Jill . . . fuck . . . so good . . .” He kissed me, openmouthed and ravenous, and I tasted myself on his tongue. I’d forgotten everything apart from this moment. Nothing else mattered. I forgot that he was a vampire now, that he couldn’t bite me, that anyone had ever touched me before except him. It was his touch that burned. It was his touch that made me crave more.

  I hadn’t lied. I loved Declan no matter who or what he was—or even what the consequences might be.

  The last vestige of control left him as he approached his own climax. His lips curled back from his fangs and he dove for my throat. I feared for the worst, bracing for the pain, but he didn’t try to taste my blood. He roared against my skin as he came deep inside of me.

  I held him tightly, stroking his back, his face, wanting this moment to last forever, even though I knew it couldn’t.

  “I claim you, Jill,” he whispered hoarsely against my lips. “You’re mine.”

  He kissed me again—the dark web of hunger had never left his face for one moment while we’d been together. At that moment I was his, body and soul. But I knew he could never claim me completely.

  After all, another vampire had already gotten there first.

  19

  THERE WASN’T MUCH TIME FOR AN AFTERGLOW.

  “I need to get you out of here,” Declan said, handing me my dress. I grabbed it from him as well as my panties from the ground and put them back on.

  I eyed him as he pulled his pants over his legs. “Love’em and leave ’em, huh?”

  He smiled, but he looked worried. “Kristoff was sure I’d kill you or you’d kill me. Not sure he expected that.”

  “And yet he put us in a bedroom. I think your father is smarter than you give him credit for.”

  “He’s not my father.” His expression shadowed. “Nothing there except biology and that doesn’t count in my books.”

  “He had me kill Alex, the leader of the Amarantos.” The memory was painful and I still didn’t fully understand why Alex would bite me, knowing what would happen.

  He touched my throat gently. “The marks are already fading. You heal up faster because of your bond with Matthias.”

  I looked at my arm where the monster dhamp had scratched me earlier. It was only a faint pink line now. “Holy shit.”

  “What did he say to you before he bit you?” he asked, his thumb moving over the fading wound. “Did he tell you anything important?”

  “He wanted me to promise to help Matthias defeat Kristoff. He was definitely anti-Kristoff as king. Convinced he was evil incarnate. And then he just bit me knowing it was going to kill him.”

  “He knew and he still did it?”

  I nodded. “It was so strange. The guy had a death wish. He also wanted me to tell Matthias that he forgives him for . . . some bad shit that happened between them.” I paced to the other side of the dark room before I turned to look at Declan again. “We need to find Matthias. Then we need to get Sara and my nieces and get the hell out of here so we can figure out what to do next. It’s too dangerous to stay here.”

  Declan frowned. “Sara’s here? How is that possible?”

  I swallowed. “Emily’s . . . I’m sorry, but she—she’s dead. Kristoff found out where she was—”

  “How?” There was pain in his expression.

  “He has a mental bond with Matthias. He saw everything. Matthias knew where Sara was being looked after so that meant his brother knew it as well.”

  He rubbed his hand over his scalp and grief crossed his expression. “Fuck. I knew I shouldn’t have told him. I knew it.” He exhaled a long breath. “It’s too late to change anything. It’s done and there’s no going back, only forward. I’m going to assume you’re not willing to negotiate about leaving Matthias behind.”

  “No, I’m not. I don’t know what they’ve done to him. He was dragged away after being stabbed.”

  “Still alive.”

  I nodded. “He’s immortal even though he doubted it. It’s proven now. The ritual worked exactly the way Kristoff wanted it to.”

  Declan went silent for a moment, his eye shifting back and forth as he thought it through. “Then Sara’s in more danger than I thought she was.”

  “She is. Alex controlled the Amarantos, but now that he’s gone—I don’t know what will happen.”

  He nodded and raised his gaze to mine. “Then we need to find her father and get them both the hell out of here.”

  I almost smiled. “Sounds like a plan. There’s a problem, though. I have no idea where he is right now.”

  “Sure you do.”

  I frowned. “I do?”

  “You can use your bond to find him.” There was a thickness to his voice, an unpleasantness that sounded like jealousy. His gaze hardened and he drew closer to press his hand against my chest. “You can find him because your soul is bound to his now.”

  I gaped at him. “You make it sound like we’re soul mates.”

  “You are.”

  So that was what claiming actually meant. Even though I wasn’t in love with him, Matthias was my official soul mate in the least romantic way possible. There couldn’t be that many soul mates who became so because one wanted to use the other one for their blood. “I don’t feel any differently.”

  “You do. You said so yourself. You’re stronger. Healthier. And the poison doesn’t affect you any longer even though it still runs through your veins. Trust me, I know for a fact it does because your smell is . . . painfully tempting.” I watched as the veins slowly disappeared from his face and his eye returned to gray, although it was a shade lighter than it used to be when he was only a dhampyr.

  I chewed my bottom lip, feeling awkward again. “You don’t have to be jealous about the bond between me and Matthias.”

  “I’m not jealous. I’m concerned.” He hissed out a breath. “There’s no time for this. If you concentrate you’ll be able to locate him pretty much anywhere in the world.”

  “And he could do the same for me.”

 
; “Yeah.”

  “Forever.”

  “Pretty much.”

  While I appreciated the fact I wasn’t dying because of the Nightshade, this claiming felt much too permanent and intimate. He’d claimed me without asking me if I wanted it. I guess it was similar to what I’d done to Declan—I’d asked that he be sired even though I knew he’d have a harsh adjustment becoming the same thing he’d always hated. The same thing he’d hunted. Matthias had claimed me without asking me and he would have had to know I wouldn’t be entirely thrilled about this situation. No choice. No vote. Just a permanent change to my life.

  One thing at a time.

  I closed my eyes and thought about him, remembering how he’d looked when Kristoff stabbed him through his heart. He’d believed he was going to die, I’d seen it on his face. But he didn’t. He was immortal. And he was bound to me until the day I died.

  Matthias, where are you?

  There was nothing for at least a minute, but I tried to concentrate as hard as I could. I felt it then, like a thin, sinuous rope attached to me. I mentally grabbed hold of it and followed it into the darkness. I couldn’t see him, but I felt him on the other end of it. I drew closer.

  There he was. Matthias’s face was strained and furious, his hands pressed against a barrier only inches from his body. He was in pain, constrained in a tight space from which he couldn’t break free. I felt claustrophobic, desperate to escape this place. He was desperate to escape from it. It was an effort for me to keep him clear in my head.

  He stilled as if he sensed me.

  He was in horrible pain, in the darkness all alone. I felt his fear—for his daughter, for himself.

  “Jillian.” My name was barely audible, but it confirmed that he knew I was there with him on some level. Shame replaced his fear. He didn’t want me to know he was afraid.

  “I see you,” I whispered. “It’s going to be okay.”

  And then I felt myself pulled upward back along the rope until I opened my eyes and gasped for breath. Declan stood in front of me holding my arms.

  “You saw where he is?”

  I nodded. “I know where to find him.”