From Rags

by Suzanne Wright

  Luke rubbed his chin and sighed. “Only for a couple of weeks. There wasn’t much going on other than shagging. To be honest, I thought she was a bit weird but she was good in bed so that was overlooked; she was adventurous and imaginative when it came to games -”

  Jaxxon held up a hand. “Too much information, Luke.”

  “Not sex games. I mean, well, they were sex games but not like what you’re thinking. We’d go out to a bar and she’d pick out a bloke and I’d pick out a girl and then we’d dare each other to go after them. We’d try to get their phone numbers, a kiss, an invite back to their place…We never used to go, it was just a game we played. Whichever one of us got the farthest had control in the bedroom that night.”

  “But you didn’t try to get my number or a kiss or an invite to mine. You wanted me to go with you.”

  “Anita turned round one day and said, ‘Hey I dare you to go after Jaxxon Carter’. I said if we were ever out one night and you were there I’d approach you.” Connor growled but he ignored it, even though the sound chilled him. “But she said, ‘No, I’m changing the rules; you’ve got to approach her out of a bar and then get her to come back here’.”

  “Hence, the pretend-jog incident?”

  “She told me you walked your dog in the park on Saturday mornings.”

  The fact that Anita knew that didn’t sound good to Connor but he didn’t interrupt, he wanted every detail.

  “I had it all in my head what I was going to say to you,” said Luke, sighing, “but when I got up close it just all left me. I was just, well, mesmerised by you.” He was surprised when she looked confused about that. He wasn’t surprised that Connor growled. “Anyway she teased me for hours when I came back here without you and she wouldn’t let the dare drop. But, well, my ego was all sore and I didn’t fancy getting brainfreeze and making an idiot out of myself in front of you again so I told her to forget it. Then she said -” Here was where he suspected Connor wouldn’t be too pleased.

  Jaxxon arched a brow. “She said…?”

  “She said she had it on good authority that you were into threesomes.” As he anticipated, Connor growled again and spat a curse. “She said if I managed to get you back here then the three of us could…I mean come on I’m only bloody human.” He turned to Connor and Dane. “Don’t tell me you two wouldn’t have been intrigued by the idea.”

  “I’m married,” said Dane.

  “I never would have shared her no matter who it was with,” stated Connor honestly.

  “Whatever.” Luke turned back to Jaxxon. “I’d heard you and your mate talking about going to Frankie’s bar that night so I went. And, well, you weren’t easy to charm and then he showed up. And that’s when everything clicked into place. I remembered that Anita had been engaged to him ’til recently and I thought about how weird it was that she’d seemed so determined to get you here where she’d be waiting. When I went back home without you she was fuming. I asked if it had all been some revenge game for McKenzie and she flipped her lid, ranting about men and commitments and models and babies. Then she stormed out and I haven’t seen her or heard from her since.”

  Dane exchanged a look with Connor before he informed Jaxxon and Luke, “That was the night Anita turned up at mine in tears looking for somewhere to stay.”

  “So you know where she is?” asked Luke, not that he really cared.

  Nodding, Jaxxon smiled. “She’s at Dane’s house, she’s absolutely fine and she’s very pregnant.”

  Luke gaped. “She’s what? Wait a minute, it’s not mine. We used protection.”

  “Did she ever try to get you to go bareback?” asked Connor, now seeing where Jaxxon’s thoughts had taken her.

  He shook his head. “No, never.” Then a memory came to him. “We did go bareback once in the car because I had no condoms but she said she was on the pill.” Three sympathetic looks were directed his way. “You think this baby she’s having is mine?”

  Jaxxon sighed. She couldn’t help feeling sorry for the bloke. “The facts are that Anita was planning to ‘accidentally’ get pregnant with Connor’s baby but he found out and we were presuming he ended it before she had a chance to get the plan live and kicking. Then she told me a week ago that she was pregnant, but I can tell you right now Luke she was lying her arse off. Or, as it turns out, she was under the impression that she was. Yesterday she did a test and it was positive. I don’t think she’d have waited this long to do a test if it was Connor’s, it makes no sense. So if she hasn’t been able to come up with a positive until now then she must only be in the early stages of pregnancy. If that’s true, the baby can’t be Connor’s. But it could be yours,” she added more sensitively. “I think she thought she could pass off your baby as his; you have dark hair and dark eyes like him.”

  Luke clenched his fists. ‘Information overload’ didn’t even begin to describe this right now. He switched his attention to Connor. The man’s face was blank. “I’m not just going to presume this kid’s mine, I’ll be having a paternity test doing.”

  “Same here,” said Connor.

  He turned back to Jaxxon then. He felt so mixed up; he wanted to kill Anita for her deviousness and how she could play with people’s lives like this, but a part of him kept going over the fact that soon he might be a dad and he couldn’t find it in him to hate that idea. “I’m not going to say this is great news. But, still, I’m glad you told me. I wouldn’t want to have a kid somewhere and not know anything about it or be there for it.”

  She nodded. “Good. At least the poor little thing will have one parent who’ll care for it.”

  “And if it’s Connor’s…?”

  She shrugged. “That’ll be his business.” He didn’t even want her to be part of his life, he would hardly want her to know his kid if he did have one. She thought it was sad that Connor had resigned himself to a life totally marriage-free, love-free, and children-free. Connor would make a good dad, he was protective and caring though he didn’t seem to see it. Maybe one day he would, like Dane, meet someone who meant enough to him to stop him from boxing himself away from all that stuff.

  It was while Dane was driving Connor and Jaxxon back to Connor’s apartment that he finally asked, “Do you want kids one day, Jaxx?” Quickly he corrected: “Jaxxon?” Connor still growled.

  She nodded. “Yeah, I do. I never had much by way of family. I’d like to start my own someday. And I need to keep the Carter blood going. The world wouldn’t be the same without us Carters.”

  Dane laughed.

  “I think you might be right there,” said Connor, smiling. It was a smile that covered the pain he felt knowing that one day she’d have that family…but it would be with someone else.

  “What about marriage?” asked Dane.

  She shrugged again. “Maybe.”

  Connor gawped unattractively. “You always said you’d never get married.”

  “I know, but that’s because I never saw a marriage that worked. Every relationship I’d ever seen was a mess. But after seeing Lily and Tony together it made me realise what it can be like. I suppose, like everything else, it’s what you make of it.”

  “You’re right there,” said Dane, nodding. “It’s not easy, you’ve got to work at it. But it’s worth it.” He smiled as a thought occurred to him. “I’d be interested to see what kind of wedding you have. I just know it wouldn’t be anything traditional or even normal.”

  “Probably not. I couldn’t have a big princess wedding in a huge church surrounded by a load of people I don’t even know. I don’t think I could cope with the serious atmosphere either, I’d end up laughing.”

  “What about an Elvis wedding?”

  “Now that might be fun.”

  “That big hound of yours, Bronty, could give you away.”

  “That’d save me from having to choose between Ollie, Richie and Tony.” All of whom she thought would probably vie for the position but only after they’d lectured her on her choice of bloke. She got the impr
ession that they had no problem with the blokes around her until it looked as though some bedroom action might get going.

  “You could have Anna and Warren as your witnesses. All that’s missing is the groom. Although I don’t think you’ll have much trouble finding one.”

  “Ah but not all blokes are comfortable with having their bollocks at risk on a daily basis. As Anna said, I’d need a man-man.”

  “A man-man?” echoed Connor, not enjoying this conversation whatsoever.

  “Someone who won’t be intimidated by me or be all submissive. Oh and who’ll have a healthy sex-drive.”

  Feeling suddenly defensive, as if needing to compete with this hypothetical bloke, Connor very nearly pointed out that he wasn’t intimidated by her or submissive and he had a healthy sex-drive. Then he realised that if he had, then he would have, in effect, been calling himself a perfect match for her. He’d like to think that he was but, in the end, it didn’t matter because he couldn’t offer her anything. Again he found himself wishing he could.

  Something else that had his stomach knotting was that, seen as there was no way of being around her without wanting her, they couldn’t even keep in touch when things were over. There would be no way he could be in the same room and not touch her, and there was no way he could hear her voice over the phone and have a purely platonic conversation. At some point the words ‘I need to fuck you’ would come out and then the call would be abruptly put to an end by Jaxx. No, there was no way he could fit her into his life after this was over, but how could he not have her in his life to some extent?

  He really had had enough of the bollocks that went through his head.

  Anita was glad when Connor answered the door to his apartment with a beer in his hand. Maybe him being under the influence might make the seduction easier. But she wasn’t going to play the injured soul or the in-need-of-a-rescue-princess this time. No, because now she had something she could hold over him, something that would make her be the one in control. That idea brought her confidence and gave her the spunk she needed to face him and his abruptness down. “Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

  Connor hmmmd. “No, I don’t think I will.” Although Dane had warned him she was coming he hadn’t been able to work up the patience to deal with her.

  “You should. This is important, Connor.”

  “Then you better spill it and quickly because you’re letting in a draft.”

  She placed a hand on her hip and arched a perfectly plucked blonde brow. “I suppose, if you really do want your private business aired before your neighbours, we could just have this conversation here in the hallway. But I think you’ll want to be sitting down for this.”

  He sighed and then strolled away, leaving her to let herself in and close the door behind her. He squeezed onto the sofa next to Bronty. “Alright, I’m sitting down. Tell me what this is all about.”

  “You’re not even going to offer me a drink? And when did you get a dog?” It was more like a donkey. And it didn’t appear to like her. Well that was a mutual feeling. Come to think of it, the creature looked a bit familiar –

  “Anita, get on with it.”

  “If you insist,” she said cockily. The idea that soon she would have him right where she wanted him made her smirk. She relaxed into one of his armchairs and crossed her legs.

  “Did I say you could sit down?”

  “You know what, Connor, you’re going to have to grow out of this immaturity. And soon.”

  “Why’s that?” His tone made it clear that he was absolutely bored.

  She leant forward, flashing him her cleavage. “I’m pregnant, that’s why.” She waited for that ‘I’m going to be a dad?’ smile. This was a guy who had grown up without a family – of course he would be overjoyed to now have one! But the smile didn’t come.

  “What does that have to do with me?”

  “Don’t be an idiot, Connor. You know this baby’s yours.”

  “Do I? We weren’t exclusive or anything.”

  “So now you’re accusing me of sleeping around on you?” She should have expected that he might have a brief moment of denial. “How could you say something like that?”

  “As I’ve just said, we weren’t exclusive.”

  “Maybe not to you, but we were to me. I loved you. Still do.”

  Connor gulped down more beer. This woman was one of a crazy kind. “Oh and you’re willing to take me back, I suppose.”

  “For the baby’s sake,” she finally said, “I’m willing to try again. But no more ‘I don’t do marriage’ idiocy, Connor; you’ll do right by us. And there’s to be no other women, do you hear me?”

  Connor whistled to himself, shaking his head. “Can’t I even keep Jaxx?”

  “Especially not her.”

  “Why especially not her? You don’t like her?”

  “She’s not important,” she snapped. Softening her tone, she added, “Only we are; you, me and the baby.” She flashed him her innocent smile.

  “You’re certain this baby, if you’re even having one, is mine?”

  “Of course I’m having one, and yes I’m certain.”

  He let a good twenty seconds pass before responding. “You know what, I’m just not convinced. I’ll have my solicitor arrange a paternity test.”

  Anita kept the panic from manifesting on her face. “How can you be so hurtful, Connor?” She wrapped a protective arm around her stomach. “This is your child.”

  “Tell me, Anita, why would you think that being pregnant would make any difference to how things are? Maybe in your little world of fantasies a bloke marries a woman who’s having his baby but in the real world it just doesn’t always work that way. Would I want my kid to grow up watching its parents in a meaningless, loveless relationship? No, that would only make it miserable.”

  “It wouldn’t be meaningless,” she said through her teeth. “This is because of her, isn’t it? You care about her, don’t you?”

  “I wouldn’t have her staying with me if I didn’t.”

  “And here was me thinking you were just being hospitable, Connor,” said Jaxxon as she entered the room and strolled over to him.

  Connor curled an arm around her waist and brought her onto his lap. Feeling her calmed him, and he needed that. What he didn’t need was his dick coming to life but, in his defense, her hair was still all wet from her shower and she was in that black, silk robe and quite possibly nothing else.

  “Anita, isn’t it?” said Jaxxon. The beautiful crackpot seemed frozen with shock. “Ah, pregnant again?” There was still no movement at all from her. “You look surprised to see me here. I would’ve thought you’d have worked it out when you saw Bronty. Didn’t you recognise him?”

  Anita’s gaze flicked to the dog who, looking very disgruntled about having to share the sofa, was now trotting out of the room. “Why would I?”

  “I thought you might since you’ve watched me walking him in the park, haven’t you.”

  Anita was beginning to really hate this girl. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Well then it’s a good job Luke Winston was such a well of information.”

  “He’s interested in seeing the results of the paternity test too,” said Connor.

  Shit, shit, shit. “Who?”

  Jaxxon cocked her head as she continued. “One thing he couldn’t help me out with is why you wanted him to get me back to his house. Oh I know you told him it was because I was into threesomes but as for the real reason…Would I be right in assuming you were going to get some snapshots of me and Luke, the father of your baby, together to give to the papers or maybe even Connor?”

  Oh yes Anita officially hated her. Fury like she’d never before known was whizzing through Anita’s system and burning her from the inside out. She could feel her cheeks reddening. Her acrylic nails were digging deep into the skin of her palms but she couldn’t relax her balled-up hands.

  “If I thought you cared about Connor I’d feel sor
ry for you – only to a small extent, but still – but you don’t at all. You just don’t know how to handle not getting what you want. You got desperate. And somewhere along the lines you got this insane idea that you have the right to meddle with people’s lives. Even to make a baby with one person and then pass it off as someone else’s.”

  Twirling a chocolate-brown curl around his index finger, Connor gave a disapproving tut. “Something tells me Luke won’t be up for that, he’ll want access to his kid. You might want to think about handing over custody of the baby to him because, to be frank, I’m not convinced you’re one-hundred percent sane.”

  Anita knew there was nothing innocent about her expression now as she glared at Jaxxon Carter. “I suppose you’re very pleased with yourself. I pity you if you are. You think you have him, but you don’t. He’s too closed off to belong to anyone. And when he’s all done he’ll wash his hands of you and move on to another tart, just like he did me.”

  “Yeah your good mate Lotti already explained. Good of you to warn me though.”

  “You think you’ll be an exception?” she scoffed.

  “That’s the thing, Anita: I know I won’t be. I don’t live in a fantasy world like some of us do, so I’m under no illusions.”

  Stuck, that’s what Connor was. Hearing Anita’s poisonous words he had the same urge he had when it was Bruno being a twat; he wanted to deny the words, override them, insist that it was different with Jaxx. But to do that was to imply something more could happen and he refused to give Jaxx false hope, he refused to make the mistake he made when he was sixteen of telling her what he thought she’d want to hear. “You know what, I think you might just be bitter because your devious little plan hasn’t worked out.”