First Love: A Single Dad Second Chance Romance

by Amy Brent

  “Then why didn’t you take me with you? Why didn’t you talk to me? Or come back to see me?” I asked.

  “You wouldn’t take my calls. You were so angry, and I couldn’t blame you. You were settled into your schools, and you had your friends already established. You were a thriving sixteen-year-old boy. I couldn’t yank you from your life like that. Stick you in another school halfway through your high school career. What kind of mother would that have made me?” she asked.

  “Why didn’t you pick up the phone whenever I called? Why didn’t you call me back?” I asked.

  “Did your father not tell you?” she asked.

  “Tell me what?”

  “The agreement between us was to split all of your costs down the middle. Fifty-fifty. The only job I could find was working third shift in a factory. I couldn’t ever call at a decent hour, so I took to writing you letters. Did you not get my letters?”

  “No. I-I never got any letters,” I said.

  “Well, your father’s never been perfect,” she said as she dropped her hands.

  “You wrote me letters?” I asked.

  “Every morning after I got off work. I’d get them in the mail before I went to bed to sleep before my next shift.”

  My mind was spinning. All this time, I thought my mother had abandoned me. I thought she hated me, that she didn’t want me. I thought she left because of something I’d done and wanted nothing to do with me. But all this time, she was just a woman in a marriage that wasn’t working. A woman who wanted to spread her wings but couldn’t.

  “Why didn’t I get your letters?” I asked.

  “I suppose your father probably has them. He was so angry with me leaving. He wanted me to stay, but he didn’t want to do anything to make it work. He didn’t believe in therapy or re-dating or any of the other things I suggested,” she said.

  “I’m so sorry, Mom,” I said.

  “It’s not your fault. It never was your fault. I could’ve done more. I could’ve come by more to see you. But I knew it would spark arguments with your father, and I didn’t want you to see us fighting. I never wanted you to see any of the hurt we’d caused one another over the years,” she said.

  “I get it, Mom. I get it. It’s all right, okay?”

  I took her hands within mine and brought them to my lips again. I stood up and wrapped my arms around her, pulling this frail woman close to my chest. She cried for me, and I cried for her, setting free the emotions we’d kept back for so many years. But even as we cried and even as she stood to hold me in her weakened arms, Emma’s words kept chanting in the back of my mind.

  She’s got her own shit to deal with.

  I needed to know what was going on with Sarah. I needed to know what was crumbling my strong, beautiful counterpart. I helped my mother back down into her chair and gave her a kiss on her cheek, and the words that came flowing from her mouth were startling.

  “Whoever she is, that’s where you need to go next.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “I may not be the best at many things, but I know when I see someone in love. Whoever she is, that’s where you need to go now.”

  I stood there, rooted to my place as Emma darted her head over to me. At once, all the foreign emotions I’d been feeling slowly slipped into place. My need to be around Sarah. My incessant pandering to try and find what hooked me to her. The ecstasy I felt buried between her legs. The pull to always be around her. To always know what’s on her mind. This desperation to know what was plaguing her.

  I was in love with Sarah Williams.

  I walked back into the house while Emma talked to our mother. I used my mother’s phone to call Sarah, hoping she would pick up. It didn’t shock me when she didn’t.

  Did she have my mom’s number? May be she was busy…or hurt…or unwell…

  Even though, we made an agreement to have some space from one another for a couple days, I needed to talk with her.

  I needed to see her.

  I needed to tell her everything.

  “I can take you into town,” Emma said.

  “I just need you to take me back to my car,” I said.

  Emma raced us back over to her townhome, and I immediately jumped into my car. She was bombarding me with questions, but I didn’t have time to answer any of them. I flew down the road heading back into Dallas as I reached back for my phone. I ignored all of Tony’s missed calls and messages and tried getting Sarah on the phone again, but all it did was continue to ring. I pulled up behind her apartment complex and slipped in when someone slipped out, rushing up the steps to get to her floor.

  Soon, I found myself banging on her door like I had Emma’s.

  “Sarah, open up. We need to talk.”

  I listened for anything. Any sound or any grunt that might tell me she was there. I started banging again, trying desperately to get her to open up as my heart flooded my body with nerves and adrenaline.

  I needed to see her now.

  “Sarah, please! Come on, open up.”

  But still, no one came to the door.

  I kicked it, frustrated at the position I had now been put in. The one woman I wanted to see, the one woman I wanted to wrap my arms around, was nowhere to be found. She wasn’t taking my calls, she wasn’t answering her door, and I had no idea where the fuck to go next.

  I stood there with my heart in my hands, and I had no one to give it to.

  Chapter 31

  Sarah

  I should’ve opened the damn door. I sat there in my room, listening to him bang down my door, and I just should’ve opened it. We had an agreement, right? An agreement to take some time away from one another. He said he would follow my lead, and I trusted that. I trusted that he would stay away, no matter how hard it was.

  But he sounded so desperate, and I almost caved.

  I fell asleep that night with the sound of the door ringing in my ears. I cried myself to sleep, knowing I’d fully pushed Mason away. There was a part of me that needed space from him, that needed this time to process what the fuck I was going to do next.

  But the rest of me wanted to figure that out with him. The rest of me wanted to yank him into this room, shut my door, and lose myself in him. I knew he could help me find a way out of this. I knew he could help me dig out from underneath the rubble that had come crashing down on us.

  I wanted his presence so badly, but I didn’t know how to ask for it.

  Things had gotten too crazy and too out of control too quickly. In the span of a few days, I’d ruined my relationship with my best friend, I’d ruined my relationship with the public, I’d ruined the reputation of my show, and I’d demolished the relationship I had with Mason.

  Well, the arrangement I had with Mason.

  I pulled myself out of bed and began packing up all of Emma’s things. Mason wasn’t calling or texting me anymore, which meant I could breathe a little easier. At least I’d made that decision easier on him. He would’ve left me anyway once he discovered what was wrong with me.

  Discovered the secrets I was hiding.

  I picked up the box full of Emma’s things and lugged it all the way to my car. I drove over to her place and dropped it on her doorstep, knocking on her door before I turned to leave. The least I could do was return her things, so she could give them to whatever new friendship she developed.

  I’d run out of ways to repair ours, and I simply had to admit defeat and keep going.

  “Sarah? What the hell’s all this?”

  I stopped in my tracks when I heard her voice. I slowly turned around and saw her standing there, looking more beautiful than I’d ever seen her. She’d showered and put on makeup. She was wearing an outfit I hadn’t seen her put on in quite some time. The light behind her eyes was back, and the sight of her filled me with a joy I hadn’t felt in days.

  “That’s the stuff you had at my place,” I said. “Figured you’d want it back.”

  “Why?” she asked.

  “B
ecause we aren’t friends anymore. I figured it would be the right thing of me to give you back your stuff.”

  “When did I ever say we weren’t friends?” she asked.

  “When you stopped taking my calls, told me all my relationships failed because I was damaged, and shut out your brother,” I said.

  “First off, I’m sorry for all that shit I said to you. It was wrong and uncalled for, and you didn’t deserve any of that. What I’ve been trying to tell you and Mason is that I just need time wrap my head around things. Sarah, I fucking found out from the news. Cut me a bit of slack.”

  “Yeah, I guess so,” I said.

  “Look, if you want to be with my brother, go ahead. He’s a strange one, I’ll give him that. But I’ve seen a good side of him lately, one I didn’t think existed.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “And he likes you. He’s happy with you. If the two of you want to be together, I’m not going to stop you.”

  Her words hit me like a ton of bricks as she picked up the box off the ground. He was happy with me? What the hell did that mean?

  “A good side of him?” I asked.

  “I know. Seems weird, right. When all this blows over, we’ve got a lot to talk about,” she said, grinning.

  “Sounds like it,” I said breathlessly. “How do you know he’s happy with me?”

  “Because he told me. Well, I could see it in his eyes after our mom called him out on it.”

  “Your mother?” I asked.

  “Told you we had a lot to talk about,” she said.

  My mind was running at a thousand miles a second. Suddenly, I felt the desperate need to track Mason down. I was finally standing in the shoes he’d been standing in for weeks, and I felt my fingers trembling as the feeling washed over me.

  I was in love with Mason.

  “A word of advice?” Emma asked.

  I turned my head toward her as tears flowed down my cheeks.

  “Tell him your secrets. I may have already mentioned you had some serious baggage going on, and now he’s curious. Plus, if you want things to work out, you’ve got to let him in. You haven’t done that with any of the men you’ve ever dated. Whether I set you up with them or not. You just hold them at arm's length and let your fame do all the work. If you want it to work with him, let him in. Fully.”

  I felt my entire body shaking with anticipation and fear. Emma was right. I’d never let any of them in. I never told them the things I kept close to my chest. I never told them the things that kept me up at night. I never told them the source of my sadness and anger. What really fueled me to reach for the success I strived for on a daily basis.

  “I know I don’t know Mason well. Hell, all I’ve seen is what’s in the headlines. But even the press has never seen him like this before. He really cares about you, Sarah. He doesn’t chase women, not like he’s chased you. I got a taste of his incessant perseverance when he was knocking down my door to talk with me. If he’s been doing that to you for however long this has been happening, then it’s serious with him,” Emma said.

  “Serious,” I said, whispering.

  “Go home and think about it,” she said as she stepped back into her home. “I’ll call you in a few days.”

  “Okay,” I said mindlessly.

  The entire way back home, I wondered if I should call him. The mere idea of him feeling the same way toward me filled my chest with delight. It filled so fast and sat so heavy on my lungs, I was struggling to breathe by the time I got home. I rushed up to my apartment and barreled in, immediately calling Mason on his cell phone.

  And I got my first taste of what it had been like to be in his shoes for the past few weeks.

  I hung up and called again, feeling my heart sink lower and lower as it kept throwing me to voice mail. I left him message after message, calling him ten or fifteen times before tears started trickling down my neck. I wanted him to pick up. I needed him to pick up. I needed to talk with him. To see him. To hear his voice even though we had that stupid fucking agreement. I needed him to knock on my door one last time.

  One last time and I would let him in. For good, if that’s what he wanted.

  I called and I called and I called, but eventually, it didn’t even ring. Eventually, it was just me and his voice mail, his voice echoing gently in my ear as I sobbed against my cell phone.

  I crawled myself onto the couch and cried myself to sleep that night. I’d missed my chance with the only man I’d ever truly fallen in love with, and I was all alone.

  Again.

  Chapter 32

  Mason

  I woke up that morning to the peaceful sound of the silent countryside. I stretched my limbs, feeling the emptiness of my bed as the heaviness of my heart slowly flooded back to the forefront of my mind. I’d finally called Tony back and told him I was alive. He updated me on some things with the business and told me some shit was going down in politics, so the media shit would finally be pushed from the forefront of the news. I was glad to hear it, but just hearing her name ached my soul.

  But when I reached for my phone and saw the dozens of missed calls I had from her, I began to panic.

  How the fuck did I not hear the vibrating of my phone? I never missed a phone call from her. Never. I always picked up when she called. Had something gone wrong? Was something wrong with Emma?

  Was something wrong with her?

  I immediately called her back, and my heart leaped with joy when I heard her pick up on the other end. Her groggy voice brought a smile to my face, and I slung my legs over the edge of my bed.

  “Mason?” she asked.

  “The one and only,” I said, grinning. “How are you feeling? Are you all right?”

  “Mason, I-I need to talk with you, okay?” she asked.

  “Anytime, anyplace. I’m so sorry I missed your calls. I didn’t hear my phone vibrating last night.”

  “I talked with Emma. She told me something that I need to ask you about,” she said.

  “What did she say?” I asked.

  “She said you cared about me. That-that you were happy with me. Is that true?”

  I felt my body freeze as my eyes looked out the window. The sun was rising high in the sky, illuminating the rolling hills of green as I closed my eyes. I couldn’t run from this any longer. We couldn’t do this dance any longer. I was tired of it, and all I wanted to do was get it off my chest.

  “Yes. It’s true,” I said.

  “So, you’re happy when you’re with me?” she asked.

  “Happier than I’ve ever been, Sarah.”

  “Okay,” she said. “Okay. Um, are we still, you know, spending time together?”

  “I fucking hope so,” I said, chuckling.

  “Then we need to talk. There are some things I have to tell you before we go any further. Because if we do, and the media catches wind of it, I want you hearing it from me before they dig it up and plaster it everywhere.”

  This must’ve been the baggage Emma was talking about. I felt my heart pounding in my chest as I rose to my feet. She wanted to talk. Sarah wanted to meet up and talk about all of it. I strode into the bathroom and put her on speakerphone before I started washing my face with soap.

  “When would you like to talk?” I asked.

  “Are you free tonight?” she asked.

  “I’m free anytime you need me,” I said as I dried off my face. “You just tell me when and where, and I’ll be there.”

  “Is the press still hounding your place?” she asked.

  “Nope. I think we’ve been officially bumped by politics this morning,” I said.

  “Then how about I come over around six?” she asked.

  “I’ll be ready and waiting.”

  The entire day I spent trying to knock out work. If she came over and decided to stay, I wanted to have the morning with her. I wanted to make her breakfast in bed and lie naked with her until it was time for lunch. I wanted to wake up with her in my arms and be able to dote on her be
auty as the sun streamed through the windows. I worked steadily through lunch before I turned in the last of my things around five thirty, and then I raced upstairs to get myself dressed.

  I was coming down the stairs when Sarah knocked on the door.

  “You look radiant,” I said as I smiled at her.

  “I don’t feel radiant, but thanks,” she said, sighing.

  We instinctively migrated over to our couch. She sat down as I grabbed her a glass of wine, her lips smiling with relief as she plucked it from my fingers. We sat there on that small love sofa that overlooked the backyard and sipped our drinks. The silence was uncomfortable, to say the least, but I was simply glad she was there. I was experiencing her warmth and her beauty once again, and for the first time since I’d met her, I hoped it wouldn’t be the last.

  “When I was in high school, I dated this guy,” she began. “He was everything a high school girl could want. Tall. Dark. Captain of the football team.”