First Touch

by Laurelin Paige

  But it didn’t mean I didn’t also want to kick him in the nuts a little.

  His finger entered my tight rim first. It was cold with lube, which he’d applied liberally and was now spreading over the walls of my asshole. I was already moaning, my heart already pounding like a stampede inside my chest. It felt so good, and I wanted more, yet was unsure at the same time.

  It didn’t really matter what I wanted anyway, because Reeve would tell me like he told me everything.

  Damn him for deciding I wanted this.

  But then, he surprised me. He removed his finger then stretched his body lengthwise over mine. His mouth at my ear, he said, “Tell me to stop, Emily.”

  I cursed silently. So much for him deciding.

  “Tell me to stop,” he said again, “or you’re choosing this.”

  Seriously, he was brilliant. I’d told him that he couldn’t trap me like this, and yet here he had trapped me in all sorts of ways. He was forcing me to tell him yes or no. Whichever answer I gave him, I would either be asking him to stop or asking him to fuck me in the ass. He was forcing me to set this limit. He was forcing me to either move on from Bridge or not.

  “Tell me to stop,” he repeated.

  The trickiest part of it all was that even while he was telling me what to say, I knew what he really wanted me to choose. And while that would normally be what I automatically chose – to let him do this, to not stop him – our earlier conversation had put a different frame on anything I chose for him to do versus something I let him do. If I chose this, then it meant I trusted him. Then it meant I loved him.

  Fucking trapped.

  He was waiting for me to respond.

  Well, I didn’t have to answer. “I’m not saying anything.”

  “Then you’re choosing this.” He crawled back down my body. I heard the bottle open and shut again. Then it was his cock pressing at my rim, his crown alone feeling impossibly big against my hole. “You’re choosing this, Em. If you don’t stop me, this is your choice.”

  It had been years, but I knew the drill. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in and out. Concentrated on relaxing. Readied myself to push out as he entered me.

  And as I prepared, I asked myself what I really wanted. If it weren’t a trap, if I didn’t know what would make Reeve happy – what would I choose?

  He pressed into me, slower than when he usually drove inside my pussy, but by no means gently. His crown hit the point of resistance, and, without pausing to let me adjust, he pushed past it.

  I gasped from the pain, tears leaking down my cheeks.

  “It hurts, doesn’t it?” Reeve taunted me. “I know it hurts. Tell me to stop.”

  He thrust in farther. Pain seared through me, waking every nerve in my body. It hurt – so much – but it was nothing like the nightmare that Bridge had put me through. This hurt, but it hurt good. It hurt, and I knew what I’d choose.

  It hurt, and I would still choose this.

  “Tell me —”

  “Don’t stop!” I cried.

  As soon as I said it, as soon as I chose, he was different. He stilled, letting me get used to him as he lay over me.

  “I won’t stop, Blue Eyes,” he said, stroking my cheek. “I’m not going to stop. And I’m not going to be considerate because that’s what I want, and I know that pleasing me makes you happy. But I’m also going to make sure you find pleasure in it too.”

  More tears spilled, less from pain now and more from emotion. He scooted back to his knees and urged me up to all fours. By the time he had me in the position he wanted, I’d adjusted to him. Which was good, because, as he’d said, he wasn’t considerate. He dug his fingers into my hips and pulled back slowly, pulled back like the car of a roller coaster trekking to the summit. And then he was over the crest, plunging back in with speed, his hips thrusting with wild abandon.

  I screamed through gritted teeth, balling my hands in the sheets below me as the pain tore through my ass, lighting the nerves on the opposite wall. It was agony, but as it stretched and yawned, it reshaped, transforming into overwhelming ecstasy. It grew like a ball of fire in my lower regions, the source no longer identifiable. It was almost impossible to tell what parts of me were even being touched. Because everything felt touched, every part of my sex organs shouting with the sensation of having been rubbed.

  Then he reached around to press a finger against my clit, and I exploded, bucking underneath him as every single neuron in my body shot off like dynamite. It was too much. Too much, everywhere, all at once. Rainbow-colored stars flashed across my vision, goose bumps rippled over every inch of my skin, and cum poured from me like water from a fountain.

  Reeve said words as he chased his own orgasm, dirty words, words of praise, curse words, words I didn’t understand or remember. I was still coming, or coming again, I wasn’t sure, when he stilled, grinding hard against my backside, still tender from being whipped in the barn.

  He pulled out of me, and I collapsed on the bed, completely spent. Completely transformed.

  Reeve fell on his back next to me. His eyes danced as he let out a content sight. “Next time we do this, you’ll be on top so I can finger fuck you at the same time.”

  If I weren’t so exhausted, I would have laughed. Already planning for next time, was he? So typical.

  He exhaled once more then turned on his side to face me. He drew me to him, tilting my chin up to study my face. “How are you?”

  I answered truthfully, “Perfect.”

  “Yes,” he smiled. “You are perfect.” He kissed my forehead then my eyes. Then my nose. Then his mouth found mine. My lips molded to his as if they’d been made to fit each other. The way every part of my body was made to fit his. He was perfect like that, too. Perfect for me. And I told him that as perfectly as I could in the form of the most perfect kiss.

  I’d just begun to doze, my cheek pressed to Reeve’s shoulder, when something occurred to me.

  I lifted my head and rested my chin on the back of my hand, which was on his arm, so I could look at him better. His opposite arm was draped over his eyes so I couldn’t see if he was already sleeping, but I said anyway, “You didn’t tell me who the other woman was you loved, the second one.”

  “Mm,” he said, then was silent. His breathing was steady underneath me, and after a few seconds, I laid my head back down, deciding he was too out of it to talk now.

  I’d ask him later, I decided. Or not at all. If it was important, he’d tell me. I let my lids close.

  But then he said, “The problem with her is she’s the first one’s best friend.”

  My eyes flew open. “What?”

  The phone by the bed started ringing, sounding through the dark room with an unusual tone. The kind of tone that signaled the call was from someone specific. The front gate, maybe. Or Brent. In the middle of the night, it had to be one of the ranchers.

  But even with the blaring of the phone, all I could hear was the siren in my head shrieking its own alarm.

  “Wait,” I said, as he reached for the phone. “What did you just say?”

  He seemed to consider my question for a fraction of a second. Then he picked up the phone. “This better be important.”

  The distinct voice of a man buzzed through the line, but I couldn’t make out anything of what he was saying.

  Whatever it was, it alarmed Reeve. He bolted up to a sitting position. “When?” A slight pause. “How bad?”

  He jumped out of bed and cradled the phone on his shoulder while he put the jeans on he’d worn earlier. “Yes. Let him in. And get Jeb.” He tossed the phone on the bed and slipped a sweatshirt over his head.

  He was pulling on a boot now, obviously on his way out.

  I sat up. “Reeve, wait.” He glanced at me but didn’t say anything, putting on his other boot. “Where are you going?”

  “Stay here,” he commanded then rushed from the room, shutting the door behind him.

  I fell back onto the bed with a groan. He�
�d mentioned Jeb, the ranch vet. Likely an animal was sick or one of the pregnant cows was having trouble with her birth. Reeve had mentioned it was calving season when we were on our horse ride, saying it was the most stressful time of the year because of all the complications that could occur.

  It was just my luck that one would occur right when I was in the middle of one of my own.

  The panic that had begun gathering from Reeve’s declaration was swirling inside me, waiting to be calmed or stirred up further. Calmed was most appropriate. Surely I hadn’t heard him right. Maybe I’d been dreaming.

  But I’d been awake when he’d said it. And I didn’t think I’d heard him wrong.

  Which still didn’t mean he’d been talking about me. It was possible Amber had found a new best friend. In fact, it was likely, wasn’t it? It had been six years. More than enough time for her to have bonded with someone new.

  Except what were the chances that she’d had another friend that had hooked up with Reeve?

  So if he did mean me, if he was in love with me…

  Well, first of all, I was flabbergasted. And overwhelmed. And overjoyed too. I hadn’t even known how much I’d hoped that he felt that way until there was a possibility that he did.

  And I couldn’t think about that because if it was me he was talking about – then he knew about Amber and I and probably knew why I’d sought to get close to him in the first place and if he was still declaring that he loved me, did that mean he didn’t care?

  Dammit. I had to talk to him now.

  I flung the covers off of me and sat on the edge of the bed, thinking. I could go to my room, get dressed, and try to find him in the stables. One of the security guards would be awake and could tell me how to get there in the dark.

  Though, now that I thought about it, if there was a ranch emergency that involved the vet, wouldn’t he have been called before Reeve? And if I paid attention, I was pretty sure I could hear voices downstairs. An injured animal wouldn’t have been brought to the main house.

  The panic in my chest grew to a rattle. Something was wrong.

  Ignoring Reeve’s command to stay in the bedroom, I put on my robe and slipped quietly downstairs.

  The voices were coming from the front of the house. Staying in the shadows, I followed them to the foyer. There were several people to my right in the living room, but my eyes caught the familiar figure standing just inside the door.

  The panic washed through me now in torrents. It was Joe, his expression somber, his brow knit in worry.

  Joe had come looking for me. He’d said he would.

  Fuck.

  I should have gotten that burner phone from him so I could get a message to him. When I’d disappeared without a trace, he’d probably assumed I’d gotten into the same trouble as Amber.

  I probably should have been flattered, but I was too concerned with how I was going to explain him to Reeve.

  Joe must have caught sight of me in his peripheral vision because he turned toward me and made eye contact. He didn’t seem relieved to see me, however. Now, in fact, he looked even more concerned. He frowned then looked back toward the living room.

  My eyes followed his to the others now. Reeve was there and Brent and Jeb and three of the security men. Reeve was crouched down on the floor, the others huddled around him as they spoke in concerned voices over something. Over someone. A soft keening underscored their conversation, like the sound of a wounded animal.

  I took another cautious step into the room so I could see better and stopped cold in my tracks. There, in Reeve’s arms, was the injured creature. No, human. Her blond hair was matted and her face bruised, the V of her tattoo exposed on her shoulder, her sobs quiet, but clear now that I recognized what they were.

  And then I was sobbing along, my breathing in tempo with the shuddering of her body, my fists clenching and unclenching as she gripped onto Reeve’s shirt. There were no words for the overwhelming elation that swelled through my body. No words for the jolting dread as my entire world collapsed under me in the resurrection of the woman he and I both loved and hated. Amber.

  Table of Contents

  Reviews for First Touch

  About the Author

  Also by Laurelin Paige

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Acknowledgements

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28