The Cowboy Songwriter's Fake Marriage
Page 10
Her mom and grandmother had never gotten along, and the tension between them blanketed every holiday and birthday party of her youth. She didn’t want that for Cody.
There was a knock at the front door, followed by a squeak of the hinge and a high-pitched “Yoo-hoo!”
“Here.” Cody shoved the bread basket into her stomach and took off at a run for the front door.
She smiled after him, thinking of the kid who’d rarely gotten off the couch when she’d moved in just a month ago. He was a bundle of energy now, constantly wanting to run, bike, swim, hike, and play until he zonked out.
“Grandma!” Cody’s voice was so full of joy that a small bit of jealousy spiked through Emily. She quickly brushed it aside. Every kid should be that excited to see their grandparents.
She set the bread basket on one end of the table and made her way to the front entry. Xavier came from the kitchen, where he was filling the water pitcher with lemonade. He gave her hand a light tug and then let go.
His gesture was probably meant to reassure her that everything was going to be all right, but all it did was unleash the butterflies in her stomach. Every time he touched her, they went nuts, and she couldn’t seem to stop it from happening. It didn’t matter that she’d sat them all down and explained the situation. They thought Xavier was totally hot, and they were going to flap their wings like crazed fangirls.
She glanced down at the shapeless dress she’d chosen. It landed just above her knees and was in style with a floral print and cap sleeves. It just wasn’t really her style. She would have chosen a flirty skirt and a tee with a huge necklace and bangles on her wrist. But this dress felt like a shield—though what she was shielding herself from, she wasn’t sure. She had chosen to wear her hair down for the first time since she’d done yoga on the deck. She’d fought against the natural waves for years, but now she kind of liked the volume.
When she made it to the foyer, the look on Xavier’s face said that he liked it too. His eyes had a smolder that lit an inferno inside her chest and a slow burn in her lower belly. Her world tipped and she stopped walking lest she trip and make a fool of herself.
Introductions were quick, considering Cody bounced around them all like a jackrabbit. Emily moved to hug Eleanor but was met with an outstretched hand and a stiff smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
She stumbled back and recovered quickly, giving a firm handshake in return. “The pleasure is mine.” Feeling rebuffed, she offered her hand to Zayne.
He pumped her arm as if he was looking for oil. “Welcome to the family, little girl.”
Little girl? She glanced at Xavier for help. He was all smiles, as if this were a normal family meeting. Maybe it was in his family—she came from a long line of huggers.
“I hope you’re hungry.” Even if she hadn’t won them over at introductions, her dinner would do the trick.
“Oh, we had a late lunch on the road.” Eleanor flapped her hand, dismissing all of Emily’s hard work without even knowing it.
“Besides, it’s this guy we really came to see.” Zayne reached down and picked up Cody, who patted both of Zayne’s cheeks.
“You should see him ride his bike.” Emily forced a smile. “He’s mastered the twelve-inch jump.”
“Really?” Both grandparents turned to Cody for confirmation.
He pressed his lips together and nodded once.
“I’d like to see that,” said Zayne.
Cody began to wiggle out of his hold. “Come on. It’s in the driveway.” He grabbed Eleanor’s hand and tugged her back to the door.
They laughed at his enthusiasm. “I’ll get his helmet. I think it’s in the mudroom.” Emily headed that direction before Xavier could offer to get it for her. He’d opened his mouth as if he was going to do just that, but she wasn’t ready to be alone with his parents. And if she was honest, she was ticked off that she’d gone to so much work to prepare a meal just to have it swatted away.
She found the helmet and swung past the kitchen to check the hens. They’d dry out if she didn’t add more chicken stock. Steam floated out when she lifted the lid. She quickly added a half cup of liquid and checked the heat settings on the rest of the dishes. Eleanor didn’t know about dinner. She couldn’t fault them for eating if they were hungry. She sighed heavily and headed for the driveway.
Cody clipped his helmet in place and grabbed his bike. He liked to leave it lying on the grass by the front porch. She had no problems with that. He loved running out the door and having it right there so much that she didn’t see much harm in indulging him. Although, now she questioned her leniency. Would Xavier’s parents think she was slacking as a mother because she hadn’t taught him to take better care of his things?
Her stomach twisted. Perhaps skipping dinner was a good idea after all.
Cody did several loops around the circular drive before running up the jump and launching his bike. He landed perfectly and kept going as they applauded his skills.
“He’s really taken to it,” Eleanor said with amazement.
Xavier put his arm around Emily’s shoulder. “That’s all Emily. She rides with him every day.”
She held back the desire to melt into him and place her hand on his chest. He just felt so right, so strong, so solid that she could use him to lean against tonight—and maybe until his parents left again.
“That’s nice,” muttered Eleanor. She glanced at Xavier’s arm around Emily and glanced quickly away.
Emily smiled and stepped away from Xavier.
“Watch this!” Cody braked quickly and bounced on his front tire. They clapped and cheered. Emily felt a swelling of pride. They’d worked on that move for three days. Xavier opened his mouth, probably to tell his parents that exact thing, but she shook her head quickly, shutting him down.
A while later, when Cody needed a drink, they went inside. The hens smelled amazing, and Emily’s stomach rumbled. She hadn’t had a late lunch, and her body wanted sustenance. “It smells like dinner’s ready, should we eat?”
“It smells lovely, but I’m still not hungry.” Eleanor turned to Zayne. “Are you?”
“I—”
“Can we play Go Fish?” asked Cody. “It’ll be funner with more people.” He sniffed and swiped his nose.
“I’d love to play Go Fish.” Eleanor put out her hand, and Cody used it to drag her into the living room. Zayne and Xavier followed. Emily sniffed the hallway one more time, her body telling her that if she waited much longer, there would be consequences. Determined to be gracious and kind, she followed the group into the front room.
Cody counted out cards for everyone, and they played two games.
Eleanor clapped her hands for him. “I can’t believe you’re growing so fast. Last time we were here, he could count one, two, three, and now he knows so much!”
“Emily reads with him every day, and he’s already devouring books.”
Emily smiled woodenly. She was beginning to feel like a car on the lot, with Xavier as the salesman intent on getting her out the door with this lovely couple. Zayne won the game with six sets. Cody had two. She had none.
Xavier gathered up the cards.
“The place looks nice,” offered Zayne.
“That’s Emily again,” Xavier started.
Before he could launch into her abilities to wield a vacuum cleaner, Emily stood up, drawing everyone’s attention. “Dinner will be on the table in two minutes.” She took off, leaving them no room to argue with her.
She’d done a ten-mile trail run that morning, barely eaten out of nerves, and now she had to put something into her body or she would implode. In short, she was hangry. Which meant that she wasn’t at her most gracious. Dang it, she should have eaten a roll.
In the kitchen, she stuffed a fourth of a roll in her mouth and moaned with relief. Chewing quickly, she donned oven mitts and transferred food to the table.
“I don’t know. We don’t usually eat this late …” said Eleanor.
&
nbsp; What was with this woman? Was it an affront to eat Emily’s cooking, or did she have some serious stomach issues? Which Emily could totally get behind and support if she knew what they were. Instead of prying, she said, with a flap of her hand, “That’s okay. We’ll just enjoy having you at the table. I’d love to hear some stories about when Xavier was a kid. I’m sure there’s more than a few good ones.”
Zayne laughed all rumbly and deep in his tummy, but Eleanor scowled. “Oh, we have stories. Xavier has a long history of making bad decisions and changing his mind slowly.” She turned on her heel and left them all standing there holding her words as if they were prickly balls they didn’t know where to set down.
Emily glanced at Xavier. He shrugged as if he didn’t know what to do about his mom either.
Zayne recovered first. “This looks delicious. Can I help with anything?”
Emily gave him a thankful smile. “It’s all ready. Please, have a seat.” She motioned to the chair across from hers. She’d placed Xavier at the head of the table and Cody at the end.
A half hour later, Zayne leaned back in his seat and rubbed his belly. “That was amazing, Emily.”
Emily smiled—for real this time. No more having to fake her pleasure at having Zayne around. Not only was her stomach pleasantly stuffed, but he’d shared several funny stories about Xavier as a kid. None of them involved soccer, but one did involve his first girlfriend. His bumbling attempts to leave a Valentine anonymously on her doorstep were sweet and spoke of his romantic heart. She only wished she had a right to see more of that side of him. Maybe …
Zayne pushed off from the table. “I’m going to find Eleanor and get settled in for the night.”
“Want a bedtime story?” Cody asked, his face alight with hope.
“That’s a great idea, champ.”
The two of them wandered off to find Eleanor, leaving Emily alone with Xavier. She sighed as she stacked the dishes—one setting still sparkling clean. “That wasn’t exactly the meeting we were hoping for.”
Xavier reached for her hand, covering it with his own warm one. Her heart thudded so loud she was surprised the neighbors didn’t call to complain. “I’m sorry. It’s not you. It’s not even personal. They’re worried that I’ve screwed up my life. I could have married the heir to the English crown, and they’d be worried.”
She huffed a laugh. “You do know Prince Charles is married and like 70, right?”
“What, you don’t think I can get a prince?” he teased.
Her cheeks hurt from smiling. “Stop! This isn’t funny.”
He shook his head at her. “I like laughing with you.” He picked up her hand and threaded their fingers together. The action somehow snatched all the oxygen from the room. “So this thing with my mom …”
“Yeah?” she asked, all breathy. Where was the air?
“I think it’s the marriage of convenience that bothers her. I don’t think she understands how well we work together as parents and friends.”
His words were like a cold bucket of water dropped over her head. Friends. Convenience. Co-parenting. Nothing about love. Nothing that would validate the hammering of her pulse. His words were absolutely true, but they left her feeling empty inside. She rallied. After all, she wasn’t going to tell him she was falling for him and wanted a physical relationship on top of everything he already offered. She’d seen plenty of married couples at the physical therapy clinic that couldn’t laugh together. What she and Xavier had was better than fleeting attraction that would fade with time. She should be content.
“Right!” She slipped her hand from his grasp and used it to accentuate her words. “Once Eleanor sees how compatible we are as partners and co-parents, she’ll relax. Can you imagine what we’d do if Cody came home with a wife?”
He shuddered dramatically. “He’ll be six forever, so we won’t have to worry about it.”
She laughed and shoved him. “You wish.” She would be content with this life. Here she was, talking about their son’s future. She and Xavier were working together to solve this problem, just like a married couple should. This was a good life, and she should be happy. She was happy. There was just a small part of her that wanted … more.
17
Xavier
Xavier paced his bedroom, unable to climb beneath the comforter. Emily had been so upset at dinner. Oh, she masked it well, but he could see the tightness around her eyes, the forced smiles. He hoped he’d given her the assurance that things would work out with his parents.
But he just didn’t know.
So he swung open the door and headed to his parents’ room. He’d had his mom pick out the colors for this small suite when he’d built it, hoping they would feel welcome anytime. Now he wondered if Mom felt like she had precedence over Emily because she was here first. That just wouldn’t do. No matter how much he loved and respected his mother, Emily was his wife and the first lady in his life.
He knocked on the door, and his mom answered, wearing her robe and slippers. “Hi, honey.”
“Hi.” The shower was running in the adjoining bathroom. “Do you want to go for a short walk?”
“In my robe?” She gathered the garment on front of her neck.
“We are in the woods. No one will see you in your robe. I’ll get mine if it will make you feel better.” He gestured to his cotton pajama bottoms and matching tee.
“Oh, fine. Kids these days have no sense of propriety.”
“None at all,” he agreed while offering his elbow for her to take. She smiled fondly at him and took his arm as they made their way out the front door. The evening air was warm and humid. The stars smattered across the sky like pebbles in a river of ink.
They walked the driveway and then took the route with the even slope, sticking to the pavement. They didn’t have sidewalks up here, just a paved road and then driveways that led behind patches of trees. He’d never met any neighbors up here and only occasionally saw other cars.
Mom took a deep breath. “I love the smell up here. It’s so clean.”
He followed her example and noted the strong scent of pine, which made him laugh.
“What?”
“Pine-Sol.”
“What?” She turned to look at him.
“It’s smells like Pine-Sol. That stuff you used to use to clean floors.” No wonder she felt good up here. It smelled like a clean house.
She shook her head ruefully. “I guess it does.”
Now that the edge had been taken off, he was ready to face the big issue. “Listen, I wanted to clear the air about Emily.”
Mom stopped walking. Her eyes narrowed and her jaw tightened. “She’s not your type.”
He’d considered the differences between Emily and Nora many times. They were two different types of women. Where Nora was refined and picky; Emily was fun and easy to get along with. Where Nora was formal and refined, Emily was cuddly and open.
He’d had to stop comparing them when he’d grown angry at Nora for always being so uptight. The comparisons weren’t fair to either woman, and he didn’t need to justify his feelings for either of them. They were their own beautiful package, and he could appreciate Nora for being the one for him at that time in his life. Had she lived, his life would be very different right now. Not worse, not better, but different. The thing that he took from all his introspection was that he was out of mourning for what he could have had. He no longer had those kinds of thoughts, no longer believed God had stolen his future when He’d called Nora home.
“I married her to be a mother to Cody.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Not my lover.”
Mom gathered her robe around her neck again. “But the way you look at her … it’s so … intimate.”
“Because we share a good portion of each day together, and we’re working closely to ensure Cody is taken care of. I don’t know how two people can be a team and build a family without becoming intimate.” The word was thick on his tongue—like forbidden candy.
“Yes,” he said without hesitation.
She scowled. “What if this sham marriage falls apart? Then what? What will happen to Cody? It’s bad enough that he didn’t know his mom, but to care for Emily and then have her leave?”
“Emily’s not going anywhere.” He bristled at her choice of words to describe his marriage. A sham! He and Emily honored their wedding vows. “I assure you our marriage is legal—there’s nothing false about it.”
“Marriage should be about love. What are you teaching Cody by sleeping in separate bedrooms? What will he grow up believing is a healthy relationship?”
He hadn’t thought about that. Still … “He’ll grow up knowing that there are two people who love him and are rooting for him to succeed in life. Two people he can count on. And!” He felt himself building up into a dither. “There are tons of married couples who don’t have sex—who live separate lives and sleep in separate bedrooms. They stay together for their children—how is this different?”
“Because—” Mom threw her arms out, her face turning red. “—it is. It just is.”
“Honestly, Mom, I’m a better father because Emily is here. She brings out parts of me I didn’t know existed.”
“Oh?” She began walking again, her pace faster than his. “And what about you? I know you, Xavier. Your soul needs love to thrive and create. It’s why you stopped writing after Nora died. Your father and I talked about it for weeks, worried that you would lose everything you’d worked so hard to build.”
He hunched his shoulders, not ready to tell his mom that he’d been writing nonstop since Emily came into his life. It felt like a confession of love that he didn’t feel. Nor was he going to tell her how close she was to the truth. He had to sell a song, and fast. He could only guess what she’d read into that. “I had love. I can draw upon that to create.”
She shook her head sadly. They reached the end of the level road and turned around. “You are so full of love it comes out of you in music. You need to be with someone who fills your reservoir. But you’ve chained yourself to Emily, and now she’s in the way of you finding someone who will love you like that.”