Sacrifice of Love

by Quinn Loftis

  “He needs to get the rage out,” she had said. "If your presence, your touch, is not helping, then he needs to somehow exonerate it. For a male wolf, that would be fighting or something less violent, if you get my drift.”

  Jacque had blushed furiously even though she commented, “Yes, well that’s not doing a damn bit of good for either of us, so let’s talk about fighting.”

  “You said he is angry with Costin because he is the male who was in your mind from the curse, right?”

  “Yes,” she had answered.

  “Then he needs to fight Costin.”

  “Excuse me?” Jacque had been completely dumbfounded, more so, because it was Jen’s suggestion and now the good doctor was on the same page.

  “I know it sounds crazy, but if Fane can fight the object of his pain then it may be enough to bring him closure, to heal a wound that just continues to fester.”

  The sound of the door opening brought Jacque back to the present. She watched as a battered looking Fane walked in, shutting the door quietly behind him. He looked at her from across the room and his lips lifted in a small smile. Her heart flipped and her stomach tightened from something so small but so needed.

  “Feeling better?” she asked hesitantly.

  “I don’t know if better is the term I would use, but being able to release some of the pent up energy has brought me a sliver of peace.” His voice was slightly more emotional than the monotone he had exhibited as of late and that too gave her hope. Maybe he could just fight anyone and begin to heal; maybe it didn’t have to be Costin.

  She felt the growl from across the room before she heard it. And when her eyes met Fane’s they werewolf blue.

  “Why is his name in your thoughts, Jacquelyn?” Fane’s voice was now laced with a totally different kind of emotion. She hadn’t realized he was listening in. She would need to be careful to keep her mind separate from his when she was talking about his problems to others, but the small amount of joy she had experienced at seeing her mate’s smile had caused her to let her guard down.

  “Fane,” she said as she stood slowly from the bed. She took cautious steps toward him and kept her eyes from meeting his own. “I was not thinking of him in a romantic way. You know better. You feel what I feel and see what I see. There is no room for doubt in our relationship.”

  She continued forward until she was standing mere inches from him. Her hand reached up and, just as it would have made contact, she began to drop it.

  “Don’t stop.”

  Her hand froze in midair at his desperate plea.

  She finally met his eyes and sucked in a sharp breath at the change she saw. They still glowed, but no longer with anger. Now it was something much more intimate. She felt his hands on her waist as he pulled her closer until her body was flush with his. He leaned his head to the side until her hand was cupping his cheek and he let out a shaky breath.

  “I need you like I need my next breath. The way I want you is like a dying man in a desert wanting even the smallest drop of water,” he whispered and she felt his warm breath against her face.

  “I have felt like you needed space from me, Fane.” Jacque tried not to sound upset or hurt, but when she saw his jaw clench, she knew she had not succeeded.

  “That is my fault. I have been too proud to ask you and too arrogant to think that I could handle this alone. Even after we talked I still tried to keep it from you.”

  Jacque reached up with both arms and wrapped them around his neck. Her fingers wove into his dark hair as she pulled his head down until their foreheads were touching.

  “Are you ready to let me help? Are you ready to deal with your anger at Costin?” she asked gently.

  He growled again. “Please don’t say his name, not right now. The only name I want coming from your lips is mine. For the rest of the night, it is just you and me.”

  Jacque trembled under his possessive tone, and as his hands slipped under the hem of her shirt and moved tenderly up her back, all thoughts of anything but Fane fled.

  “Jacquelyn,” his lips grazed her skin as he lowered his head to her neck and breathed deeply. A soft moan slipped through her lips and she heard him chuckle. It had been so long since she had heard that sound and her desire for him soared.

  She pulled him towards their bed and as she laid back, she tugged on his hand until his body blanketed her.

  “So all it takes is my laugh to get you in bed?” he smiled at her and nipped at her lips with his teeth.

  “All it takes is you,” she told him with a sincerity that took Fane’s breath away. When she pulled his head down for his mouth to merge with hers, he gave no resistance.

  Fane felt his mate’s relief at having him touch her. He felt her complete and total trust that he would show her only love and care with that touch. With every graze of his fingers, each touch of his lips, she seemed to glow brighter and brighter. He watched in awe as she gave herself to him absolutely without reservation and it humbled him.

  She whispered to him as he loved her and her words began to mend the brokenness inside.

  “I love you Fane,” and then she kissed his shoulder.

  “I need you,” a kiss to his chest.

  “I’m yours alone,” he kissed her deeply at that last declaration and he took everything she gave him, soaking her up greedily.

  “Mine,” The word rumbled from his chest as he watched his wife, his mate, bask in their shared passion.

  “Vasile,” Adam bowed his head slightly to the alpha as he grabbed his shirt from a chair in the gym.

  “Adam, how did things go with my son this evening?”

  Adam could tell there was something very different about Fane. He had become very distant and the easy demeanor that he once carried had been replaced with a stony wall.

  “He did well. He is very powerful and worked very hard,” Adam answered.

  Vasile’s eyes narrowed. “What was his temperament?”

  “He remained detached throughout the training, but as we sparred his focus increased and he seemed to let go of whatever burden is weighing him down. He would be a dangerous wolf to fight. He is extremely powerful, but it is not a desire to learn or gain skill that is motivating him.”

  “His wolf is out of control,” Vasile said calmly.

  Adam shook his head. “No, not his wolf, Vasile. It’s the man that is out of control.”

  Vasile had no words for Adam’s statement. He just stood there watching as the fae left the gym.

  If Adam was right and it was the man who was out of control, then things were worse than Vasile had realized. When the wolf was in control, it was pure instinct. The wolf would be dangerous until his mate was safe. Once the threat was neutralized, he would once again be able to be calmed by his mate’s light and goodness. When the man was out of control, it wasn’t only instinct that was driving him; it was also emotion. Emotions could make people do irrational things. When the man was out of control, it made the wolf in him restless because he would be trying to figure out where the threat is that is causing the man to have such rage sweltering inside of him. Fane’s emotions were keeping him from acting rational, from seeing true reality. He won’t allow his mate or his wolf to help him gain control.

  Fane was a ticking time bomb and Vasile was going to have to step in if he wanted to protect the pack and Jacque.

  Chapter 4

  “People seem to believe that when you find your soul mate, the one person who completes you, that things will just be lollipops and sunshine. I hate to stomp on your tootsie rolls, but being the right person for your mate does not suddenly turn you into this giving, selfless, loving, gentle, and all that other crap person. You are still the person you were without them; the difference is now when you aren’t any of those good things, you have someone who will love you anyway.” ~ Jen

  “Where are Fane and Jacque on this nice quiet evening?” Jen asked as she, Decebel, Sally, and Costin sat in the library. Jen’s feet were propped up in Decebel’s la
p and he was absentmindedly rubbing them. Sally and Costin were on the couch across from them and Costin lay with his head in Sally’s lap while she ran her fingers through his hair. Both couples had inadvertently wound up in the library together. Now seemed like the perfect time to plan an intervention for their best friend and her wolf.

  “I think they decided to go to bed early after the meeting,” Sally answered.

  Jen let out a hard breath as she pulled her feet from Decebel’s lap and sat up on the couch. Her baby bump was still small enough that she could lean forward and put her elbows on her knees.

  “I would love to take that statement and turn it in to some graphic sex talk that would make Sally blush, but the reality is, they probably just went to sleep.”

  “What’s wrong with that?” Decebel’s deep voice rumbled from beside her.

  Jen’s head turned slowly to look at her mate. The look she gave him could have burned a hole through a brick building. “Did you seriously just ask me that?”

  Decebel didn’t say anything. He just sat there meeting her stare.

  “When have we ever just gone to…,” she was cut off by a growl from her mate.

  “Jennifer stop,” Decebel’s voice was tight with irritation.

  A smile spread across Jen’s face and nothing in that smile was friendly.

  “You’re right Dec I should stop. That’s a dumb question for me to ask, since the answer is every night for the past two weeks.”

  Decebel stood up abruptly and his power radiated throughout the room. “Why are you always discussing the details of our sex life in front of every person we know? Have you ever thought that maybe I don’t want you to discuss it? Have you ever once considered how I might feel about it?” His voice was so deep that it vibrated in Jen’s chest.

  Jen stood from the couch slowly. Though she wasn’t huge, she still was getting used to having weight protruding from her stomach and she lost her balance a lot. She swayed slightly once on her feet and when Decebel reached out to steady her, she snarled at him and slapped his hand away. “Keep your damn hands off of me. That shouldn’t be too hard for you since it seems to be what you want anyway.”

  After several heartbeats she looked up at his face. She mentally prepared herself to stay calm. Just keep it together Jen, she told herself.

  “You forget that I am in your mind B. I am a constant shadow and I know how you feel and what you think,” she paused and gritted her teeth to keep from crying. Damn pregnancy hormones. “That is until now. So now that I can’t see what’s going on inside of you, I have to draw my own conclusion as to what has suddenly made you act like a pissed-off four year old whose ice cream has just splattered to the ground. And I’ve come to the conclusion that I must not be doing it for you anymore.”

  She took a step closer to him and reached up to poke him in the chest. “How I figure it, Decebel, is that as long as I’m raving about how amazing you are so you can puff up like a proud peacock..., wholly crap that’s a good one,” she said with a tone of regret in her voice, but then shook it off and jumped right back in to her tirade. “As long as you look like a freaking sex god, a mind blowing fantasy for women everywhere, then you don’t mind me spouting off to everyone who will listen. But as soon as you start to lag in that area, as soon as your ability is put to question, then you are suddenly uncomfortable with your hot mate discussing the now sore issue.”

  The room was wrapped in silence but the residue of Jen’s words rung out loud and clear. Jen stood there waiting for her mate’s response. Waiting to see if he would contradict her, yell at her, or decide to throw her over his shoulder and prove her wrong. She was hoping for that last outcome. She might as well have been hoping for the Fates to suddenly appear and say you got punked; you can keep your kid.

  “You should go to bed Jennifer. I imagine you’re tired after your fit.” His jaw was so tense that it sounded as if the words had to be pulled from his throat.

  Sally’s mouth dropped open as she stared up at Decebel and then looked at Jen. She pushed on Costin to sit up and then stood, about to take a step towards her friend, but Costin’s arm snaked around her waist and pulled her back to his chest.

  “Not a good idea,” he whispered in her ear. She nodded, though it frustrated her that they had to tiptoe around the males when they went into possessive, butthead mode.

  Jen closed her eyes and counted to ten. That didn’t help so she tried counting to fifteen. Nope, that didn’t help either so she just gave up and gave into her fury.

  “You’re right, Dec. I need to go lie down.” Her voice was deceptively sweet as she stepped around him giving him a wide berth so as not to touch him.

  “I will be there shortly,” he told her gruffly.

  Jen stopped and turned slightly so she could see him, but it was more for his benefit, so that he could see her. She wanted to make this very clear for him.

  “I don’t know how they did things back when you were not over a hundred years old, but I know how we do things now. After the way you have just treated me, the chances of you getting near me, let alone while I’m in our bed, are about as likely as Peri putting on a tutu and pretending to be a fairy god mother. And if that doesn’t make it clear then this should. If you value any of your body parts you will stay away.”

  Decebel didn’t try to stop her when she turned and walked briskly from the room. He didn’t know what to say to fix what he had royally screwed up, so he decided to let her go so she could cool off. She would be more reasonable after she had calmed down.

  “Decebel what aren’t you telling her?” Sally spoke up breaking the silence that had descended once Jen left.

  He looked over at the healer and he knew she saw past his walls, past the façade that he had put in place to make it appear that everything was okay.

  “Some things are better left in the dark,” he told her gently.

  Sally shook her head. “You know that isn’t true. We can’t see in the dark. There is nothing to light the way, so we stumble. We grope around hoping to find our way safe and sound. But there is nothing to grasp onto, and in the dark we can’t see those who could help us.” Sally stepped out of Costin’s hold and walked directly in front of Decebel. Her eyes were filled with compassion and the need to help the wolves that were in her pack. But she could tell that Decebel was beyond help. “Nothing is ever better in the dark, Alpha. Darkness is for those who have lost their way. They have traveled off the road that they should take and the darkness wraps around them, pulling them in with false promises.” she paused again maintaining eye contact, which for all others, except a select few, would be impossible. Sally took a deep breath before she continued. “Now you listen to me, Decebel, Alpha of the Serbian pack, mate to Jennifer. You are pack, and because of that, the darkness cannot have you. You belong to us, and you know better than anyone that we do not give up what is ours.”

  Decebel watched in stunned silence as Costin took Sally’s hand and lead her from the room. He gave Decebel a brief show of his neck and then left.

  “Well, that’s a first,” Decebel said into the now empty room. “I’ve been put in my place by a gypsy healer.” He let out a low, weary chuckle that quickly faded away when he thought about the darkness that he was indeed walking into. He couldn’t tell Sally that his darkness was unavoidable because his daughter’s life was on the line. For that precious life, the life that his beautiful wife now carried, he would run with everything he had into the darkness without hesitation.

  Lilly stood just inside the entrance to the mountain. She still wasn’t used to the magic. From her vantage point, she saw only a normal foyer and front door. But anyone passing by on the outside would only see a mountain, rocks, earth, and shrubs. She refused to admit to herself that she was actually going to miss this place, though she had only spent a short time here. But in truth, it felt like home, or maybe it was just because Cypher was here and that made it her home. She ran a hand across her face as she fought against the tears that
had been relentlessly trying to escape her eyes. Crying wouldn’t do any good. It wouldn’t change anything and it would only make her look like a weak ninny. So instead, she stood rigid, trying to appear nonchalant while she waited for Peri to arrive.

  She had actually been relieved when Cypher had told her that Peri would be escorting her to the airport. But the relief was overshadowed by the fact that Cypher didn’t plan on going with her himself. But then again, what had she expected? The man was kicking her out. Why on earth would she want him to wave to her as she boarded the plane? Oh I don’t know, Lilly, maybe because you love him and want him to see you at the airport and realize he is making the biggest mistake of his life. Then, in the last moment, he would run to make the plane stop and board it to beg you not to go. Lilly groaned at her inner dialogue and pathetic scenario, which she thought must actually be from some sappy romantic comedy she had watched. She had to get a grip, and what better way to do that than by being distracted by an eccentric, ancient, and quite dramatic, fae?

  “All right,” Peri nearly yelled as she suddenly appeared out of thin air beside Lilly who, for her part, yelped and jumped into the air.

  “I hear you have been evicted and must vacate the premises immediately.” Peri didn’t acknowledge Lilly’s jumpiness. Instead the fae just looked at her as if she hadn’t just nearly given Lilly a heart attack while simultaneously reminding her that she was being kicked out of her man’s house, or in this case, mountain castle, which she loved.