Case of the Poodle Doodle

by Erik Schubach

  She reached past the screen and grabbed something and then held a piece of paper up to the screen, her fingers daintily holding the corners as not to crinkle the paper. “This is the artwork the powers that be here told me to create to show I'm just like a normal child.”

  I looked around, and the three ladies cocked their heads and furrowed their brows as I said in appreciation, “It's beautifully structured and well defined.”

  Jess placed her chin on my shoulder as she squinted and said, “It's a very pretty... is it... a plate of spaghetti, or...”

  Luce and I both pulled back and looked at her incredulously and said in unison, “It's a Mandelbrot fractal.”

  They all looked blankly at me, and I explained, “They are a mathematical pattern which doesn't diverge from a bounded absolute value. The beauty of them is that they're...”

  Luce completed my thought, “Structured and predictable.”

  I nodded.

  Kerry deadpanned, “I thought it was a pony.”

  We saw the first smile on Luce's face at that, and it transformed her. Leave it to my dense helicopter jockey friend to coax it from her. Though I'm pretty positive she knows what a fractal is, you gotta have a teensy bit of education to be a pilot.

  Jane was oddly silent as she kept looking from the screen to me.

  I said to Luce, “They're ill-educated savages, but I love them.” I approved as she set the well-executed drawing down on the small table beside them, taking a moment to make sure it was perfectly parallel to the edge.

  Then she looked up, and she said, “I've read that you can't choose your family. But that flies in the face of conversations like this. It's all a bit confusing.”

  I just nodded, grinning at the assumption Jess and Ker were part of my family. Well, I guess they are in all but blood. I really liked how direct she was. You knew exactly where you stood with her.

  But then the girl made a distressed sound when Mrs. Doyle, with a curious look on her face, picked up the picture, crinkling the bottom as she tried to make sense of the pattern. Luce snatched it from the woman's hand and started yelling in distress, “Stop! You've ruined it!” Then she knelt at the table and frantically tried smoothing out the crinkled paper. I wanted to reach out to the girl.

  The woman tried to calm her. “Luce,” and made the mistake of placing a hand on her shoulder. The girl shimmied away from the touch, and I could hear her breathing hastening. No... that was mine. Jane's hand in mine brought a sense of calm, and I inhaled, taking in her scent. Lilacs, leather, and gun oil.

  The girl started into a rant but then froze when I felt Calvin's breath on my cheek as he let out a little whine. He had climbed partially up the spiral staircase and was stressed over my peaking anxiety, so was leaning in to give me support.

  The paper fluttered from Luce's fingertips as she crowded her screen and whispered under her breath with wide eyes. “Canis lupus familiaris.”

  The girls all started looking around then at me as I nodded with a grin that threatened to break my face. “Yes. His name is Sir Calvin Cornelius Fluffytoes. He's a...”

  She whispered as she got even closer to the screen, eyes wide, “Border Collie. They are a working and herding dog breed developed in the northern Scottish region for herding livestock.”

  Again I was nodding. “Yes, and they are acknowledged to be the most intelligent of breeds. And most Border Collies today can trace their lineage back to...”

  She whispered as her hand reached forward, “Old Hemp,”

  I think she was touching the screen. Calvin had made a connection with her. I glanced back at him and curled a hand up around his neck to hug him as he cocked his head at the screen.

  I said, “Cal, this is Luce. Say hello.”

  He cocked his head the other way then held up a paw as if to shake.

  She said as she looked on in amazement while she smoothed down her shirt sides, “Hello, Sir Calvin.”

  Then I smiled mischievously and said as I leaned toward the screen conspiratorially, “Calvin and I own a dog rescue, and we get to deal with various breeds every day.” I added quickly as her eyes widened, “I don't know if they told you this, but I'm a dog walker by trade.”

  She shook her head and then reached off screen and pulled a little white chair to herself, then took a few moments to position it directly in front of the screen, checking it twice, then sat almost primly. “You get to work with canines all day? How does one go about getting a job like that? Did you like canis lupus familiaris when you were a little girl? I think they are more honest than people.”

  I almost sighed as any remaining anxiety I had left in me just bled away as I sat in the desk chair and smiled while I started to share my experiences with my first dog, Puddles, and how she inspired my choice of careers.

  I think Jess said something about making some coffee as the three women moved away to sit at the kitchen table for some reason.

  It was an hour and a half later when Mrs. Doyle interrupted us. “Miss O'Conner, it's time to say goodbye, it is time for breakfast in the resident hall cafeteria.”

  Aww... I almost snorted when she echoed my thought. “Aww... just a few more minutes? Finnegan was about to share how she prepares for each day. She's a label maker to organize. Does the orphanage have a label maker available for use?”

  Jane stepped up beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked over to the table, and the other ladies were sound asleep, drooling. I felt immediately guilty, “Oh... I'm sorry, I monopolized her time.”

  My wife chuckled lightly and kissed the top of my head. I waved to the camera, as a put out looking Luce, turned back to the camera after being denied by the counselor, “Goodbye Finnegan, Jane, Sir Calvin. It was a pleasure speaking with you.” Cal's ears perked up where he was sleeping on the step over my shoulder and leaned his nose in and whined once, wagging his tail like a flag.

  I nodded. “The pleasure was ours... or mine. I should have let Jane speak.”

  Jane shook her head. “No, it was fine. You two were lost in your own world, and it was actually a joy to watch.” The ladies stirred and looked up to see us saying goodbye, so they stood, stretched, and wandered over.

  Then Luce asked, a little resigned as she cast her eyes down, “Will you... will you call again? I enjoyed speaking with you.”

  I just kept nodding like my head was detached. “Of course. I could tell you about a little trouble I had with some long-haired dachshunds.”

  “I'd like that.”

  “Me too. Have a wonderful day.”

  She looked from us to the wrinkled drawing on the little table, like she wanted to see if she could straighten it farther. Then nodded to us. “You too.”

  Then Mrs. Doyle said to us, “I will contact you later today, at a more respectable time in New York to discuss a possible continuation.”

  Jane smiled almost wistfully. “Thank you, Mrs. Doyle, we look forward to it.” Then their half of the screen went blank.

  I leaned in closer to look at the other side of the screen, where Miss Smythe had laid her head on her arms about an hour ago. Was she snoring? I whispered, “Miss Smythe?”

  Jess snickered and reached over to disconnect. “Let her sleep.”

  Then I was trying to smooth out the skirt I wasn't wearing, so instead started wringing my fingers. “So? What did you all think? I don't know why they said she is so difficult because of her Aspergers. I didn't see any of the quirks they mentioned at all, she was intelligent and engaging.”

  They shared a chuckle, then Ker straightened. “Oh... you're serious?”

  “Of course, I'm serious, she was a delightful girl.”

  Jessie cocked an eyebrow as Jane turned me around to hug me in a silly side to side manner while Red Snarky Hood stated, “Fin. She was like your Mini-Me. Of course, you got along.”

  I scoffed. “She's nothing like me. She was very well adjusted, mature for her age even. And so well articula
ted. She understands the importance of organization and structure... borderline OCD...”

  Ok... maybe I could see it a little. Shut up.

  They all shared a chuckle at my expense, then I started wringing my fingers again, looking around, and spying their coffee cups on the table. I started for them, to wash them and put them away, but Jane held me back. I exhaled then turned my attention to them and whispered, “I really liked her.”

  They were all nodding then Jessie opened her arms wide. I'm not stupid, an Amazon offers a hug, you go get your hug. All of us moved in and executed a group hug. Then I whispered, “Did... did you like her, Jane?”

  When the group snuggle was done, my girl turned me to make sure she had my full attention and said clearly, “I loved Luce.”

  And I sighed in relief as Calvin yawned from the stairs. I yawned back and said, “Just a second boy. Let me clean up after the masters of disaster here, and we can go to bed.”

  Chapter 6 – Arrest

  The next morning was hectic, mostly because we all slept in a bit because we were up so late. What? We don't have the resiliency of twenty-one-year-olds partying until the crack of dawn anymore. Well, fine, I never partied until the crack of dawn when I was twenty-one... or really partied at all, but you get my point so button your yap or I'll label it shut for you.

  I felt like I was failing the ladies when all I was able to whip up for breakfast were bagels stuffed with scrambled eggs and cheese. They were quick to prepare and mobile since they all took them on the run. I beamed and swished in my white sundress as each gave me a peck on the cheek as they scurried off to their respective jobs.

  I stopped Jane before she left and asked, “Which hospital is Floof's dad in? I'd like to go to the hospital and put Mr. Beckett at ease that his pup is well taken care of after I finish walking my clients.”

  She furrowed her brow as she recalled the information without having to look at her notes. Her memory is kind of impressive at times, almost as impressive as her observational and situational awareness skills. “Mount Sinai, room 32b.”

  I gave her a beaming smile then my smile faltered as I changed the topic while she moved out the door. “I know we were anticipating a baby or toddler... would an older child be so bad?” Luce had been on my mind all morning. I felt as if I had connected with her, and she had me seriously thinking that even though she was already on the cusp of her teens, that someone like her would make an awesome daughter.

  Jane caught my eyes with hers, and when she knew she had my full attention, she just smiled and said, “Whoever we choose, I know we will love them.”

  I nodded then she stole a kiss from me, saying, “I'll be home around five today.” Then she told Cal, “Keep her out of trouble?”

  I growled at her as I shut the door and then pressed my ear against it, not hearing her receding footsteps. I smiled at that she was so protective, and it made me feel safe. I locked and unlocked the door a few times, then tugged on it to make sure, then I heard her footsteps in the hall heading for the stairs.

  I whispered conspiratorially to my silly lieutenant, “She loves us.” His swishing tail and cocked head told me that he agreed.

  “We have twenty minutes before it's time to pick up the boys for their walk, what should we do?”

  My cell started buzzing on the table, and I said with a chuckle as I went to retrieve it, “Let's start with answering the phone. What do you say?” Doh, I had lost his attention already as he made his way out to the little patio to watch Jane walk down the street to get her SUV from the underground parking garage on the next block up.

  “Finnegan May, dogs walked and pampered, how can Finnegan Walks be of service to... Oh, Miss Smythe, hello. Sorry, I hadn't looked at the screen before I answered.”

  My heart started beating faster, and I pushed some loose curls over my shoulder as I listened. “Yes... yes... that would be great. What? No... I don't see why. She's a delight. That would be wonderful, but let me check with Jane really quick. She won't be home until around five. But with the time differences, I know how difficult scheduling can be. No... no, let me just text her now.”

  I sent a quick text, telling Jane that Mrs. Doyle from the Sydenham Home for Girls wished to set up another teleconference for three in the afternoon our time, which would be eight PM in Ireland.

  It sounded as if the woman was surprised we hadn't run away screaming and said we were the first people to have broken through Luce's cynical armor so she wanted to see if we couldn't get her to open up more before she shut down again.

  Jane shot back, “Take the call, love. I'll have other chances.”

  I shared that with Miss Smythe, “She says it will be fine, that she'll have other chances to talk with Luce. Ok... thank you, speak with you at three.”

  Why was I smiling so wide as I hung up? Then I paled. By the sacred squeaky toy, this was going to be a busy day. Walking the clients, visiting Floof and then his owner, taking the call, and getting dinner ready for the troops. Gah!

  I packed our things and headed over to the patio doors. “Come on, boy, we gotta get a move on.” He flowed through the doors and streamed around my legs as I shut and locked the french doors. I never used to do that until we had an uninvited guest who had gained entry through them. I operated the deadbolt three times and tugged on the doors to satisfy myself that they really were locked.

  Don't look at me like that, I know logically that they lock the first time, it just doesn't feel like it in my head unless I repeat it at least three times. I'm not OCD! I'm going to post your quirks online if you don't stop grinning.

  It was amazing how Cal went from inquisitive and playful to serious and professional when we went to work, he stood like a pro as I put his harness, working bib, and leash on. Then we headed out. I'm not sharing whether or not I locked the door behind us.

  Fine... I did. A few times. I hate you.

  The day went by excruciatingly slow. First, we walked the boys before lunch and the ladies after. Both groups of my client's looked good. They all strutted their stuff through the busy foot traffic on the streets, and they owned the park. I strutted with them until I tripped on a curb when I was admiring their head-turning confidence in the reflection of a window.

  I looked around, hoping nobody saw as I smoothed my skirt then scurried off down the road as my cheeks burned. Only a few people noticed my bobble... or more. By the swishing tail and lolling tongue, kill me now.

  At two, after dropping the girls off at their homes, I was almost hyperventilating, just an hour before the call. I knew what would calm me down, and I told Cal as I pointed off in the distance, “To Central Park Tails!” He wasn't impressed with my theatrics. I could tell. But he was always excited to keep walking instead of heading home after we finished.

  Being around all the pups always had a calming influence on me, and we had to drop by CPT anyway to check on Floof. I smiled, one of the things that Luce fixated on because of her condition, was dogs. She was a walking encyclopedia of canine information last night, down to breed specific facts and grand champion lineages.

  She's the first person I could talk dogs with who didn't get bored in the first five minutes. She shared with me her earliest memory after I shared my first experience with Puddles. Her parents had died when she was just two, but she says she can remember this huge wolfhound for some reason, that and her mother's voice singing a lullaby to her.

  And she shared that she sees that wolfhound in her dreams. So ever since she was tiny, she has been obsessed with dogs and has learned everything she could about them. She can recall any fact she has ever read about them, no matter how obscure or how long ago she read it. I could relate. I had this odd obsession with order, so I can remember things I see in excruciating detail, mostly because I saw the disorganization or how unclean or imperfect space is.

  The heartbreaking thing about Luce's obsession is that no animals are allowed at the orphanage in case a resident has allergies,
so she's never had a dog of her own.

  As we walked, I got another call. I looked at the screen then grinned as I answered, “Mr. DiAngelo, how are you today? What? Yes, of course. Go ahead and just leave the keys on the entry table. Yes... yes, you have my explicit permission to enter my apartment with the spare key you have for emergencies. Thank you again. Bye.”

  I smirked, my surprise for Jess was ready. I admit that the first time I met Mr. D, I found him rude and abrasive. But over the years, I learned that he just likes to project the stereotypical Brooklyn ruffian attitude. He's actually very respectful and goes out of his way to accommodate his tenants while pretending to complain about it. His only real shortcoming is he's a bit greedy, but I can deal with that.

  Since I own my apartment instead of renting from him, he wouldn't normally keep a key to my apartment. But since he is also the building superintendent, I gave him a key for emergencies. And he wouldn't go into the apartment unless he had my explicit permission to do so. He actually does the same with the tenants.

  My smile was splitting my face as we arrived at CPT. I glanced up to mom's apartment, wondering if she was home or not. But seeing Killer milling about with the general populace in the rescue answered that for me. She had to leave him behind whenever she went out to work on an assignment on an article. Once Killer finishes his emotional support working dog training, then she'd be able to bring him anywhere like I do my Sir Fluffytoes.

  Ralph waved through the window as we moved over to the doors and entered. I unclipped Cal to go mingle with his adoring public. “Sup worker dude?”

  The man shrugged. “Same ol' same ol', boss.”

  “Don't call me boss.”

  “Ok, boss.”

  “Grr. Floof cleared yet?”

  He looked at the time as he said, “Yup, Doc cleared him last night, and he's fixed. He gets out of quarantine in the isolation room in about an hour, but we can fudge a little since you're here. Doc says he's in excellent health.”

  I pointed one finger across to isolation one and swung my other hand to cross my arms, pointing at isolation two and gave him a silly look.