Discovery

by Douglas E Roff

  Let them talk, he said. This kind of talk needed no response; the only conceivable loser would be her. Misti tried hard to follow this advice but often found it difficult. She could be very defensive around family, but, unlike Adam, was lacking in the ability to ignore slights and just let matters drop.

  Misti had been around the huge assembly of relatives since birth; Adam was, by contrast, a virtual tourist. She doubted whether pointing this out would change anything in his mind but at least Adam would have a finer appreciation for Misti’s own real-life experiences among the hostiles. What she would never share with Adam was her total delight in moving to Barrows Bay and away from old history in Seattle. She found her family cloying; certainly, it was one of the major factors in Carlos’ decision to move away too.

  But Adam truly loved his faux in-laws and relatives and had no idea how tongues wagged about him when he wasn’t around. It wasn’t in his nature to appreciate or even apprehend the malicious nature of gossip and jealousy about him. But it was well within Misti’s capabilities to understand all those undercurrents and to keep Adam warm and safe within the warm cocoon of his fantasy world. Misti would do nothing to dispel Adam’s naïve view of life and the family he adored. What could possibly be the point of that?

  Looking down the trajectory of her own life, she vowed that when her own kids began to arrive, she would find a way to go no further south than Blaine. Until then she would honor and support her husband’s wishes and allow him to come to the truth, if indeed that was what it was, on his own.

  When the whirlwind weekend of never-ending family bullshit was over, she would return to her new home and new world where she knew she finally belonged. In Barrows Bay, Misti was emotionally safe, feeling both loved and appreciated. Misti believed she had spent all her life until Adam playing a part, a role: first as loving and caring daughter to her deeply disturbed mother and angry father, then as disciple and acolyte to Edward. In between she engaged with family, though often reluctantly, at Edward’s urging. Her mother died bitter and unhappy; her father couldn’t wait to escape from Seattle Family Penitentiary. Misti was filled with anxiety and simmering rage and was reaching her emotional limit with her confined world when suddenly everything changed. Adam had been completely unexpected; not everyone in Seattle wished Misti or the young couple well.

  This she knew and considered prominently when thinking of just how much her life had so suddenly turned a corner. Like Adam, but for significantly different reasons, Misti understood on some deep level that her life in Barrows Bay represented the only world that could ever truly exist for her. And this was, after all, the world and the life that Edward had always foreseen and promised her.

  Misti needed no vows, no Church and no family for her union with Adam. That was the foundational truth upon which she would construct the balance of her life. She wouldn’t be just his wife; she would be the basis of his future happiness and the instrument of his success. Her job, as had so often been described by Edward to her even as a child, was to love and eventually protect him; protect him from others and even himself. She would be as essential to him as food, water and air. She believed and trusted Edward in this matter with all the dogmatic and religious fervor she could never muster from her own Catholic faith.

  Misti sometimes wished she was different and less self-aware and of the world around her. She truly wanted to have Adam’s simple faith and clear understanding of his own reality. Life was less complex for him, something he himself failed to comprehend in all its varied nuances. The depth of his darkness was no less than hers; both faced their demons daily. But where she had almost reached the end of her psychological tether by the tender age of twenty-three and was prepared to do some serious acting out, Adam had arrived just in time to alter that potentially disastrous course of events.

  At the beginning of this relationship, Misti had been an emotional mess, though she tried to never show her apprehension or any mental or emotional weakness to Adam. The one episode with the FBI guy had rattled her, fearing, as she did, a repeat of the incident in the park; Misti did not wish to become the everlasting trigger for Adam’s over protective response and eventual downfall. But she had recovered quickly when she suddenly realized that she had waited all her life for him and was unwilling to endure a life without him. They would talk it out and find a way to curb and restrain some of their natural impulses to protect each other – sometimes violently.

  Misti was happy but realized that while everything had seemed to work out according to Edward’s master plan, it had to be a mere coincidence, an illusion; nothing more than a lucky set of circumstances.

  Edward hadn’t actually delivered anything within his power; he had simply been fortunate that things had worked out as they had. It wasn’t Edward; it was just as likely Providence, a force Misti did not really believe in. Edward deserved some credit but nowhere near as much as he thought he deserved. All he had done was create the right set of circumstances allowing fortuity to enter the equation.

  Nevertheless, she felt that something, perhaps God, had truly blessed her when she needed it most. While she wouldn’t quibble with the result, she was unlikely to waste any more time on the question of causation. In truth, she didn’t care.

  With Adam, she was strong and focused. With Adam, she could sleep peacefully at night. With Adam, she was no longer afraid. She knew he felt exactly as she did; the emotional relief and calmness of spirit she experienced could not be measured. By either of them.

  They were finally together; only that result mattered.

  ***

  A new weekend was now within sight and the couple prepared for their getaway to the Lodge. Adam had mentioned that they were also expected in San Francisco the following weekend, or perhaps the weekend after, but that was away from family and involved some aspect of his work. Why they were going on a weekend made no sense, but Misti assumed that Adam had some new surprise for her and wouldn’t admit it. While Misti had no chance of interpreting Edward’s frequent fabrications, she had no such problem with his son.

  Adam was simply a terrible liar. When confronted with a dicey situation, Adam would almost invariably just blurt out the truth. His clarity of thought and logical reasoning normally prevented him from acting otherwise and he found deviousness to be terribly taxing and vexing waste of time. He could dissemble and did. But pure malicious deception and outright fabrication were not in his DNA.

  Unfortunately for him, Adam thought he was magnificent when it came to fooling his wife in addition to the world at large; Misti saw through virtually every ruse, artifice and device he had thought was so awfully clever. He was adept at keeping secrets, as was everyone else in Barrows Bay, so she never really knew what he was up to, just that he was up to something. As it was usually something sweet and thoughtful that he did to make her happy, she was content to allow him to live out his delusion.

  They departed for the Lodge a day early, on Thursday, and drove Misti’s Mustang down to their isolated sanctuary in southern Oregon, near the California border. Because the Lodge was remote and hidden among the tall pines of a large forested estate, and because of the electronics which had to be installed, there was a caretaker who occupied the home whenever they weren’t in residence. The caretaker’s quarters were in the basement and the gent hired to watch over the place would be given some additional time off to visit his small family in nearby Coos Bay.

  They talked about everything and everybody on the journey south, though Misti held off from asking why they were on their way to the Lodge and why he had invited her girlfriends to their hideaway. She couldn’t pinpoint his motivation, though he was certainly up to something.

  ***

  Patty Pinciatti and Ellen Yost were girlfriends from college, though they never took the same classes, roomed together or even attended the same schools. They had met one summer in Europe and became fast friends. They travelled together during free time and, at the end of the summer, spent a delicious
two weeks in Amsterdam at the residence of a professor none of them knew personally but who was himself travelling abroad. Edward had made the arrangements and the ladies were deeply impressed with their new friend and her wealthy connections.

  “You’re always welcome to join us,” Patty said. “We aren’t possessive, and we would like you to join our little club, if you’d like.”

  Misti drank deeply of them that summer and coupled with each, and both. She was ravenous as a partner and insatiable as a lover.

  When she was never fully satisfied, she would roam the streets of Amsterdam late at night looking for her idea of amusement. Her new friends worried for her safety but for no good reason. Misti was quite capable and safe while looking for something the girls couldn’t provide. Afterward, if properly charged by her nocturnal exploits, Misti would expend her new store of erotic energy with the girls on her return.

  The girls loved the depth of Misti’s creativity and boldness. A freak, they both agreed. But our freak, and a lovely and sweet one at that.

  ***

  They arrived well ahead of their guests. “Why are we here, Adam? What’s this all about?”

  “I want to talk to you about the honeymoon.”

  “We could have done that on the way down. Or at home.”

  “And I wanted to show you a glimmer of what our life will be like from now on.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “We aren’t like other people. Not you and me. Not really. We have to live a certain way to be law abiding citizens, and we have no choice in those matters. We must learn to live in the world as it is, not as we wish it to be. I struggle with that notion, but I accept those limitations as necessary to prevent the complete and utter destruction of western civilization. That being said, in every other norm, we are free to choose whatever way we wish to live no matter how circumspect or how outrageous. The boundaries of social conduct in Canada and America are wide and broad; real tolerance and a more liberal social structure are facts of life. I hope, anyway. But there are still limits and restraints on the boundaries of our desires at times. For now, anyway.”

  Adam continued, “The world in which we wish to live does not, at present, exist. It probably never will. At least not in our lifetimes. We are unique, precious and rare. But not all our tastes, desires proclivities should be up for review by family, friends and colleagues. There must be some part of how we live that is just for us. Free from scrutiny and bothersome good intentions.

  “We have this place in Oregon as our treehouse and refuge. Now it’s time to use our personal freedom to explore the outer limits of our passions, our darkness and our demons. I’ve been waiting all my life for you, not even realizing you were always so near. And we’ve been cheated out of years together that we can never get back. I won’t look back; I never do. But I won’t dally either when there is something I think we need to explore.

  “I have never loved anyone the way I love you and I insist that you be as free to explore your own darkness, wherever that takes you. I want to be with you on that journey, even if I’m just a spectator. I know all about Patty and Ellen and your summer abroad. I do wish you had taken me along, but I was probably writing code while you were getting laid. Doesn’t seem fair, but again, why look back? Can’t change anything. Best not to try.

  “This is down time for us, and I’m eager to meet your friends and explore their fantasies with you. I’m told that you are quite imaginative, so I can’t wait to sample a taste this weekend. The girls were both anxious to hook up with you again and Pammy Jensen was quite clear about your appetites in this regard. Thus, here we are.”

  Misti looked at Adam in amazement, never thinking this would be the real goal of the weekend. She assumed it was just a get together with good friends before the “wedding”. Sweet, but just a weekend learning about the friendship the three have shared over the years. An innocent stroll down memory lane with intimates.

  Misti began to tear up and drew him near, arms now lazily draped around his neck.

  “I’m not wicked. I’m not. I’m a good girl,” Misti said defensively.

  “You are a good girl, the best; that’s why I married you and why we’ll marry all over again. But you are exceptional in exceptional ways and that is a simple but inescapable fact. We are primal creatures and only we can make our rules. And we will, starting this weekend. I will have you, and we will have your friends. No limits. Not this weekend.”

  “No restraints?”

  “Only the ones I brought,” said Adam, chuckling to himself.

  “What about the honeymoon?”

  “A mere detail. We’ll figure that out afterwards, on the way home.”

  Misti heard a sound coming up the asphalt driveway. “I think I hear the Limo. Can you do that mind trick thingy? I’ll be a greedy girl once they arrive.”

  “Then let’s get you warmed up for their arrival. Come sit here on my lap little girl.”

  “Yes, Daddy. Whatever you say.”

  Chapter 22

  “What time is our flight?” Misti asked, as she finished up packing for their imminent trip to San Francisco.

  “The float plane leaves from Victoria in just about four hours, then we connect through YVR an hour and a half after that. We should be in San Francisco by around three and be ready for dinner as soon as we feel like it. Then we can go hunting if you feel up to it or leave our recreation until Saturday night.”

  The purpose of their trip was business, just not anything connected to the work that Adam or Misti did for a living. This was Adam at it again, this time wanting to experience and become a partner in the perceived rush he would feel participating in Misti’s sporting interests. She was keyed up for a hunt and hyper as all get out. Adam could barely contain his wife, which only elevated the ambient tension. She hadn’t hunted in over a year and was nervous about being out of practice. Adam assured her there was nothing to worry about and he was happy she was allowing him to come along.

  “If this goes all as planned, we can do this more often.” Misti said. “We can find new ways to keep it fresh and maybe up the degree of difficulty.”

  “Let’s do this and see how I do. If I can control myself, then we can plan outings whenever you feel the urge. I’m pumped. You’re going to have to find a way to settle me down.”

  “Just follow my lead and do what I say when I say it. Can you do that? For me?”

  Adam said, “I hope so. I don’t know. I haven’t had any recent outings, so I may be off my game. My experience has always been in going solo and with a way more lethal outcome. I’ve never left the evidence alive.”

  “Bullshit. You worked out in Seattle not long ago. Put that guy in the hospital. Didn’t kill him.”

  “Doesn’t count. That was different, and I probably would’ve killed him if his friend wasn’t there. Besides, you were there, and the game wasn’t the same. This time it’s me watching you work. Very different.”

  “Then just do your part and let me handle the prey. I’ll fix you up later. My treat.”

  “Will you tell me the story about the Berlin clubs again? Every time you do, I can see it just as if I was there. It’s so real, I can taste the blood and …”

  “Adam! No! You must stop your fucking visualizing for now. You’ll be useless otherwise and I know just how far overboard you can go when you get like this. I need you in control. It’s the only way this works.”

  “OK, OK. I’m fine. Back in focus.”

  “Where are we staying again?”

  “The Elysian Grand Marquis. Lobby bar, club and two other lounges. We’ll recon the building for ingress and egress, then prioritize the locations. Most likely target destination will still be the club. Crowded, lots of booze and men looking to score. Should be no problem.”

  “Easy peasy. No worries, just watch and enjoy.”

  “Will do. You have your stuff? The new stuff I got you for the trip?”

  “I do.
By the way, I love the enhancements. Nice touch. What made you think of the details?”

  “Easy. I’m a guy, and I know what certain guys are looking for and how they operate. It isn’t rocket science.”

  “Or computer science, either. I’m impressed with your creativity and planning. Never suspected my computer geek was such a depraved sociopath.”

  “Then you obviously don’t know me as well as you think. I give geeks high marks for perversion. As far as I’m concerned, I just want to be useful. Hold up my end of our bargain.”

  “You set the stage and wrote the plot. I’ll give an impromptu performance that you will appreciate for the acting talent alone.”

  “Yeah, like it’ll be the acting that gets our prey’s attention and not your tits.”

  “Just remember that if the guy doesn’t make any of the moves we discussed, we let him go and start over again somewhere else or the next day. But no worries, I can spot the ones that need a lesson. I don’t hunt gentlemen; I hunt predators.”

  “Do we have time before…”

  “Always for you sweetie, whatever you want. Here? Now? What’s your depraved little id demanding this time?”

  “Come here woman. My depravity is asking for you. Here, now and always.”

  “We should never disappoint our Mr. D. He’s our eccentric little friend.”

  “Or she. Let’s not be sexist,” chuckled Adam.”

  “I swing both ways, so Mr. and Mrs. Depravity will be equally pleased. So, will you.”

  “You are amazingly and wickedly decadent. Is that why you agreed to marry me?”

  “Si-mon, querida. Plus, I can spot a wanton degenerate like you a mile away.”

  “Really?”

  “No, of course not. It takes some research and some time. You just got lucky, mister. I hit the jackpot. Things just happened to work out. Could’ve been a disaster.”

  “Thank God for perversion.”

  “Amen to that.”

  ***