I needed to feel his skin on mine. I reached for the buttons of his shirt, unbuttoning one after the other. He remained still, his attention unwavering his blazing eyes on mine. I pulled the hem of his shirt away from his pants, his shirt fanning open like wings.
I traced my fingers along the corrugated muscles of his flat abdomen, they rippled under my touch as he sucked in a deep breath. I followed the carved path of muscles to the trail of dark hair that disappeared beyond his pants.
I reached for his belt.
“Jane,” he whispered as I unbuckled him.
I reached for his pants.
The doorknob jiggled.
We both turned to look at the door as if the noise was just an illusion. We watched. My hands clasping on to the waistband, itching, bursting. His hands shot to my wrists halting my progress. The doorknob turned once more this time accompanied by a knock on the door.
Leon pushed me away. He grabbed his shirt and buttoned it up in a practised manner.
I tried to reach for him again, but his face turned cold, the resolve set.
“Get dressed.” His voice was strained. He cleared his throat while the pounding on the door continued. “Who is it?” he barked.
The pounding stopped immediately. “It’s Ruby, I just have to change.”
“Hold on.” He shot me a look that clearly said hurry the fuck up and do not mention what just happened here.
I grabbed a top not bothering with a bra. And slipped on my purple hot-pants to finish the look. He watched me dress in silence biting his bottom lip, taking long measured breaths.
When I was fully covered, he reached for the door unlocking it. He swung it open and turned back to me. “Marco will apologise next time he sees you.”
With that he stormed out of the room, his stride awkward. My body felt as if it had just been scorched by a fire that was put out by a glacier. Pain and steam seeped through every cavity, as embers still glowed beneath the ice.
It was once I was alone again that I saw Gabriel. More solid than the first time. Was he watching us the entire time? He flashed me a telling smile, satisfied and greedy, excited and needy.
“Did you enjoy the show?” I looked into his hooded eyes.
Ruby stepped into the room. “I didn’t see anything.” Her voice was sour and she gave me a long resentful look then reached for her locker and got dressed. She left in silence.
Gabriel’s smile stretched across his face like a wave, touching his eyes. He looked almost boyish when he winked, then vanished into the air. I smiled back at the empty spot and returned to work.
The rest of the shift felt like a chore. My body ached with need. Leon’s touch still warm on my skin, unanswered. I needed to go home.
I burst into my apartment and threw my bag on the couch. My phone rang in my pocket and I pulled it out. Leon’s name flashed on my screen.
“Hello?” I couldn’t hide the surprise in my voice
“I can’t concentrate on work. All I can think about is the locker room.” His voice was strained and hoarse. I could imagine the taut muscles of his neck as he looked up to the ceiling in his office.
Fuck. What am I meant to say to that? “Me too.” I bit my lip as he sucked in breath on the other side of the line.
“If Ruby hadn’t walked in…” His voice dropped away dripping of sweet promises and sour regret. “All I can do is sit here and think about your mouth Jane. Your heat. Wishing I was there with you now.”
My stomach coiled. “With me?”
“In you.” Fuck. My underwear just exploded.
“The way you make me feel Jane… You’ve fucking destroyed me.”
“Leon…” I whispered his name, my heart galloping in my chest, my body falling against the wall leaning against the cold wall seeking support.
“Jane,” he purred my name. “You’re lucky I have so much self-control or, I’d be driving over to your house right now to finish what we started.”
“I wish you would.”
“You know I won’t.”
“Leon –”
“Next time I kiss you, and I will kiss you again Jane, I am not going to stop.”
“Leon -”
“Good night sweet Jane.”
The line went dead.
My body felt like it was on fire. Echoes of Leon’s touch danced on my body, spreading heat right down to my core. I swallowed hard and pushed off the wall wishing to subdue the fire welling inside me. It needed an outlet and I knew where the fire needed to go.
I bolted to my bedroom and reached for my notebook which was tucked safely beneath my mattress. Splayed on the bed I wrote out the locker scene into my book, but instead of walking out, Gabriel fucked Mia across those lockers, they boomed and crashed against one another as his hips pounded against hers, as his hand slammed into the cold metal, the room rang with his grunts and her moans.
I lay on the bed letting the pen fall from my fingers. My breath heavy, my body still needy, unanswered desire quelled in my belly, throbbing, aching, seeking.
Gabriel eyed my notebook and rolled over to me. “He’ll never do that to you.” He whispered in my ear.
“He will, and it will be worth all the waiting.”
“And until then? You are so wet Jane, so needy.”
“I could call Barry.”
“So soon? He was only here two nights ago, don’t come off as too desperate.” He lay on my bed next to me, head cupped in his hand.
I studied him, he wasn’t quite clear back then, still a mix of what would later become perfection. He was still just a newborn in so many ways, confused and blurry around the edges. “What do you suggest?”
“Let me help you.”
“And how do you intend on doing that?”
Gabriel remained on his side. His face lit up. I had given him permission. He traced a lazy finger along my back letting it slip over my buttocks. In one fluid motion, he slipped his fingers beyond the fabric of my underwear and brushed a knuckle against my wetness. I could hear the guttural groan in his throat, it was the same one Barry had made that first time. It made every hair in my body stand with anticipation.
Gabriel circled his fingers between my legs, his attention focused solely on my face, my mouth, watching me, as he played and stroked, the sensation growing. I writhed with need, his pace matching my rhythm as he pushed me over the edge. I rode the dizzying explosion of climax and convulsed into a chain of spasms.
When I had settled, he pulled his hand away and put the fingers to his mouth. “You’re delicious Janey.”
“Maybe next time you should try tasting from the real thing.” I sucked on my fingers suggestively.
“Maybe next time I will.” He winked at me and got off the bed. I could see his erection pushing against the jeans he was wearing, they fell low around the V of his narrow hips. He stepped out of the room. I didn’t see him for another week.
2005
It was a Saturday afternoon. I remember this day very well, not because the afternoon sun drew lazy circles of light on the walls, and not because Gabriel and I had just finished discussing our next series. It wasn’t even because we did it naked and feral. But it was the day I met Björn. Officially that is.
I wasn’t expecting the interruption. A thin layer of cold milk coated my half drunk coffee as I rolled off the couch, Gabriel’s hands trying to pull me back, clutching at my thighs as I strolled off.
“Who is it?”
“Björn,” came the voice at the other side of the door.
“Who?”
“37B.”
Shit. I trudged to my door and looked through the peephole. He was wearing a white t-shirt with a low V-neck and a pair of dark blue slacks. His black hair was wild and untamed, and his chin sprouted a day-old growth. “What do you want?”
“I have your delivery.”
I looked again. A medium-sized box sat just behind him.
“Why the hell do you have my delivery?” Gabriel was at my side studying the pe
ephole, his jaw tightening.
“It’s a long story.” His accent dipped and rose in sing-song. “Open the door and I’ll tell you all about it.”
I should have told him to leave the box by the door, or leave. I could have said a thousand other things instead I went with, “Hang on.”
I rushed to the couch where Gabriel had peeled my clothes from my body and found them in a messy pile. I grabbed my skirt and bra dressing in a frenzy. I found my shirt draped over the couch and pulled my head through. When I popped out like a turtle out of a shell, Gabriel was standing in front of me with narrow slits for eyes and a tight jaw.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m letting him in.” I pushed by him as I searched for my underwear.
“Why?”
“Because he has my box.”
“So? Get him to leave it for us. We can grab it when he’s gone.”
I ran a hand through my hair throwing pillows about, looking and rearranging simultaneously. “I already told him to wait.”
“Tell him to go away.”
“How about you go away?” I threw my arms up in the air and marched to the door, fuck underwear, not like I need them anyway.
The door swung open. I wanted to smile but Gabriel had gotten under my skin, so when I opened the door my ‘hey sexy neighbour’ smile turned into an irritated ‘what the hell do you want’ grimace.
He took a small step back then righted himself. “Nice to see you too.”
“I’m sorry, just…” Just what? Had a fight with my imaginary boyfriend over you? “Long day…”
He nodded slightly and I could see his eyes roaming my face, my body, my after sex with Gabriel hair, and underwear-less skirt. I wonder if he could smell the sex. The distinctive musk it leaves behind.
“Come in.” I moved out of his way at last and leaned on the door swinging it open.
He picked up the box. Through his shirt, I could make out wide shoulders, rounded with muscle. He stepped into the apartment and his eyes swept the room as if he was looking for something. Or someone.
“Where would you like this?”
“Just put it down by my desk,” I pointed and instantly regretted it. On the screen was a picture of a mostly naked man, only a gloved hand hiding his manhood, pubic hair peering from beyond. My notebook lay open on my desk with the words dick and fuck and suck spilling from the pages. And then just as I thought it could not get worse, I found my underwear. It was splayed across my keyboard like a hooker with her legs spread open.
I just about tackled my desk and swatted the underwear off, hitting keys bringing up more pictures. I buried my head in my hands. Don’t get me wrong, I have never been embarrassed about what I do or what I write except when it came to Grish obviously. But you must understand how this must have looked to a complete stranger.
With my underwear now safely on the floor by Björn’s feet and at least four mostly naked men on my double PC screen, he placed the box on the floor, his eyes sweeping over the open notebook. I slammed it shut as a wide grin spread over his face.
“It’s not what you think,” I said through a sigh.
His smile stretched and grew bigger until he began to chuckle. Heat rose to my face and my ears tingled.
“How could you possibly know what I think?” he stood facing me, his beautiful face still split in a perfect smile.
What could I have possibly said to that? So many options. I may have opened my mouth a few times in an attempt to make words but nothing came out.
“It’s OK Jane, I know who you are.”
“How the hell do you know my name?” I went from hot to cold in a matter of milliseconds.
He patted the box. My name and address clearly labelled.
“Right.” I thawed.
“I’m Björn Hellström.” He extended a hand which I took tentatively, he closed his palm around mine and we shook.
Gabriel growled behind me and I pulled my hand away. “Coffee?”
“Yes please.” Björn flashed me some more teeth. I turned to Gabriel giving him a warning grimace then turned to the kitchen.
I could feel their eyes on me as I dropped a capsule into the coffee machine, the gurgling of water spewed into the cup. Gabriel growled and strode over to the counter sitting next to Björn, his eyes daggers.
I rolled my eyes and placed a second cup under the machine, the drilling noise echoing in my oversized apartment.
When I placed the coffee and sugar on the counter, I leaned forward and studied my guest. His glacial blue eyes peered into mine.
“So, Jane.” He grabbed the sugar and scooped a heaped teaspoon throwing it into his coffee. “What do you do?” the tinkling of metal against porcelain resonated against the walls as his eyes flickered to my desk and his lips curled up around the edges.
I cleared my throat. “I’m an author.”
His eyebrow raised. “Anything I would have heard of?”
“Doubt it. You don’t look like my target market.”
“That’s a big assumption.”
“Not really.” I slurped the top of my overfilled cup and licked the foam from my top lip. “My market is 96% women.”
“Well I’m no math genius, but seems to me, four percent of your market is still plenty.”
“I guess.” My lip twitched watching Gabriel’s face change. Did he just realise a bunch of men have been looking over his body, jealous of how he touched and fucked so many women?
“So, are you going to tell me what you write? Or am I just going to have to wonder about those things on your desk?” His eyes flickered to my underwear and I could feel the heat return to my cheeks.
“I wrote the Guarding Gabriel series.”
I swear Björn’s eyes grow slightly larger and he almost spat out his coffee, “You? You’re J.A. Wynters?”
I cocked my head not hiding my surprise. “In the flesh. You’ve read my books?”
“Well, no, like you said I’m not your target audience but you can’t walk past a bookshop these days without seeing your Gabriel character everywhere.”
I could see Gabriel bare his teeth like a wild dog at the mention of his name. The model they had on the cover, although handsome and sharp in all the right angles, muscular and taut in all the right places just didn’t compare with Gabriel’s perfection. No one ever could. Not really. Not even as he sat like a feral thing sniffing out his competition. My heart warmed at his jealous tantrum. It felt good to be loved.
“He is well loved.” My face split into a smile and I could feel Gabriel thaw.
“I might have to pick me up a book and see why.” The way he said it made my ass clench. “Get inside your head.” His tone suggested it wasn’t the only cavity he wanted to fill.
My coffee turned into charring coal in my mouth, as I pushed it down trying not to choke. I cleared my throat. “What do you do Björn?” I tried to pronounce his name in the same lyrical musical way he had, but instead of a magical melody, it sounded like I was skinning a cat.
He smiled at my effort and pretended I hadn’t just butchered the pronunciation of his name. “I’m in stocks.”
“Sounds riveting.”
“It is.”
“Mm mm.” I pursed my lips and nodded.
“It might not hold all the satisfying ins and outs of your job, but it’s satisfying in its own way.” A sly grin crept across his mouth.
“What is so pleasurable about numbers?”
“There is something very pure about taking two numbers. Two completely different, unique numbers and making them a single digit. One perfect number that solves all your problems.” His tone turned a shade darker, huskier and my skirt did all it could to hold on to my body. When did we stop talking about his job?
It’s strange to think about ice on fire. It is the cold intense blue flame in the centre of red heat that burns so hot, that is the only way to describe Björn’s eyes as they bore into me. I needed relief from the searing heat of his stare as I could feel
sweat prickle my forehead. My body shivering in the cold heat.
“It seems you also don’t do much reading in my target market. I am almost as famous as you, Jane Miller.” He said my name like a wicked secret, it made my stomach coil.
“Where would I have read your books? Blogs? Tweets?”
He chuckled at my sarcasm. “I have been featured in over a hundred financial magazines worldwide.” His chest swelled as he said it.
“A hundred you say?” I raised an eyebrow. “You must be very famous then.” I winked at him and he almost fell back laughing at my sarcasm.
“My readership may not be as big as yours, but it is just as loyal.”
“Big and loyal, two great qualities.” I smirked at him. His eyes grew wider, and he sucked in a sharp breath.
“So I hear.” He recovered quickly and gave me a dark look. If I had had underwear on. It would have exploded.
We both sipped on our coffee, while Gabriel’s mood soured around us.
“Tell me where you are from.” I ignored Gabriel.
“I am from Gävle. It’s a lovely town about two-hour drive from Stockholm.” I loved how his voice dipped and rose as he spoke in his melodic accent.
“Sounds exotic.”
“It’s not. It’s just where I grew up.”
“So why are you here?”
“I have asked myself that a few times.” He half shrugged while his face pulled back with that look you make when you’re uncertain. “Something about the land of opportunity.”
“And have you found your opportunity?”
His eyes shot to mine, glinting with dark ferocity. “I just might have.”
I swallowed hard. His lips stretched across his face in a wicked smile.
He took a long final sip from his coffee and put the empty mug down. “Tak.”
“What?”
“It means thank you.” He stood up and made his way to the door. “It was nice meeting you, Jane Miller.”
“It was nice meeting you too, Björn. Please try to refrain from accepting any more of my packages. I can handle them by myself.”
“I bet you can.” My mouth fell slightly as he winked at me.
“See you soon, Jane Miller.” He walked out of my apartment leaving my cheeks burning and my heart knocking wildly against my rib cage.
Guarding Gabriel Page 9
