Guarding Gabriel

by J. A. Wynters

  I sagged. I could feel my body deflate like a punctured tyre. I was hoping for so much more.

  His knuckles touched my chin coaxing my head up. “Oh Jane, look at me.”

  I did. His moss green eyes like a deep forest to be lost in. I could run for miles in the hidden paths and never want to find a way out. Crinkled with tortured emotion they pleaded with me.

  “Go home, open your present.” There was more hanging on his lips, I could see the quiver as he fought words.

  The phone rang on his desk and his hand shot up to pick it up. He brought the receiver to his ear his eyes glued onto mine. “Thank you.” He huffed into the phone and hung it up. “Your taxi is here.”

  I stepped back, away. I knew Leon had endless resolve, but that still didn’t stop me from being disappointed.

  I started towards the door.

  “Jane wait,” I could feel him next to me, my heart leapt. Maybe…

  “I almost forgot.” He handed me a smaller box, it was wrapped just as beautifully. “Good night Jane.”

  “Thank you.”

  I didn’t turn back when I walked to the stairs even though I felt his eyes on my back. Following my every move. I stepped inside clutching onto my two boxes, my heart galloping in my chest. Disappointment turning to excitement. What did Leon buy me? I bit my lip knowing it would be hard not to tear the wrapping away in the taxi. I deposited them in my bag, their weight noticeable, a reminder.

  I swear I had the slowest taxi in the world that night. It felt like we circumnavigated the entire planet before arriving home. I hopped out and ran to the stairwell, there was no way I was going to wait for the elevator. Not tonight.

  I took the stairs two at a time and made a mental note to never walk up them again. The stink of stale urine and rot hung in the air. Barry seriously had to stop fucking everything that moves and start doing his job. I thought about reminding him about that next time I saw him. If I ever saw him again, that asshole.

  Since his disappearance, a part of me always wondered if it was my fault. Did he leave because the thought of being with me scared him that much? Did he change his mind? Or did he really get another girl pregnant? I winced and pushed Barry out of my head.

  I burst through my door and slammed it shut before running to the couch and digging into my bag. The beautifully wrapped packages looked out of place in this surrounding. Grotty old furniture and disintegrating curtains. I fingered the big box, tracing its edges, seeking out the lace bow. I pulled on the lace and it untangled itself, falling limply to the floor.

  “What’s that?” Gabriel walked into the room, his jeans hung low around his narrow hips and his chiselled upper body flexed as he moved.

  “A birthday present from Leon.”

  A cloud drifted across Gabriel’s face. He remained silent.

  I fought every urge in my body wanting to tear the wrapping to shreds, instead, finding the tape and peeling it gently, savouring my growing anticipation, the tingling of the fingers, the beating of my heart, my bated breath.

  The gold wrapping fell away to reveal a rectangular black box. Just like the wrapping, it was elegant and perfect.

  I opened the box letting the lid fall to the ground. My mouth fell open as I eyed my gift. I searched for the card. As before it was hidden behind the velvet interior of the box and was written in Leon’s handwriting on the same marbled white paper.

  Until I can fill you up with the real thing.

  Happy birthday Jane.

  I swallowed hard. How can he make me this wet without even being in the room? I fell backwards into the couch whimpering. I had wanted him for so long and now he had given me a piece of himself.

  “What the fuck is that?” Gabriel came to sit by me and eyed my gift.

  “It’s a dick Gabriel.”

  He gave me one of his ‘no shit’ looks, and balled hands on his knees.

  I found the smaller box and unwrapped it, this time I tore at the paper not caring about the delicate exterior.

  Two batteries fell from the box. I could almost see Leon smirking in his office.

  Leon.

  Was he thinking of me? Did he want me to call him? To thank him? Did he want to listen to me while I used his gift?

  Of course, I was going to use it, there was never a question, although the first time I was going to be with Leon, I had hoped it would be all of him.

  I loaded the batteries into my new dildo and switched it on. The hushed humming filled the room.

  I ran the tip of my fingers along Gabriel’s thigh. “Would you like to come and help me test it out?”

  “No,” it was a cold and deafening rejection. “I won’t fuck you with someone else’s dick.”

  “It’s just a mould.”

  “I said no.”

  “Suit yourself.” I shrugged and attempted to get up.

  Gabriel held me down, his nostrils flaring, his face twisted in an ugly scowl.

  “Let me go Gabriel. Now!”

  Gabriel wrenched my face to his and his mouth latched on to mine. His tongue sliding beyond my teeth, invading, sweeping, colliding. His fingers slid over my breasts, following the curve and shape of them, his thumb finding my hardening nipple, teasing it through tight cotton.

  His other hand pried my legs open, a single finger slid beyond my underwear and across my wetness. Gabriel sucked in a breath and bit my lower lip. I knew what he was asking. Was I this wet for him or for Leon? I could never answer that question, not when Leon has always been part of Gabriel’s make up.

  He took the dick from my hand and pushed it to my lips. I opened for him as he guided it into my mouth. I could feel the textured silicone, the dips and lines of veins and skin. I closed my eyes, imagining Leon, the low grunts, the taut cords of his neck.

  Gabriel’s fingers brushed over my underwear, the moisture already soaking the red lace I had worn for Leon. Gabriel’s pace increased, deliberately teasing, timing his feathered touch to inflict desire and need, but provide no release.

  He pulled away from my mouth. He pried my legs further apart, resting the dildo at my opening, allowing the vibrations to roll over me. He teased a nipple. I arched my back, pushing myself against Leon. Gabriel, pulled him away, not allowing me a reprieve. Savouring my torment.

  “Please,” I begged through ragged breaths.

  Gabriel ignored my pleas, dragging his hand across my chest. Worshipping my nipples with his tongue, his teeth, swirling, sweeping biting. The vibrations searing my senses, as I clung to pleasure.

  “Please.”

  “Please who? Who are you fucking Jane?”

  I didn’t want to answer the question, not when his mouth was clamped around my nipple, his tongue forcing a gasp from my mouth, my back arching towards him, so that he could have more of me, all of me.

  “Please Gabriel.” It was Gabriel, that was teasing and pleasuring, but as he eased my new birthday gift into my pussy, I knew I was thinking of another.

  The dildo slipped into me and I bucked my hips wanting Gabriel to go deeper, the humming on my throbbing clit intoxicating, delicious.

  He pulled out again, his movements measured, slow, agonising bliss.

  He entered me again. Overloading my senses, his hungry mouth still at my breasts, the grip on my body tight.

  I was his prisoner. Chained by need and lust. Tortured by desire.

  Gabriel and Leon melted into one as he buried the moulded dick inside me again and again, thrusting in measured, fixed movements that elicited too much pleasure. Too much.

  “Gabriel,” I begged.

  He plunged the dildo into me and allowed the vibrations to push me over the edge while he ravaged my nipples. In a burst of ecstasy, my body arched and clenched, I screamed my release, a sob at my throat. I rode the waves of pleasure, until my body calmed.

  Gabriel released me and ever so gently pulled the dildo out. He switched it off, the hum dying away. Only the sound of my heavy breathing filled the room.

  “Did you l
ike that Jane?” his voice was sweet, but I could hear the undercurrent of malice just beneath. “Is this what you want? For me to fuck you while you think of everyone else?”

  “Gabriel,” I tried to reach for him but he flinched away.

  “This is the last time I will let this dick come between us.”

  I pushed myself off the couch, the pleasure that drowned me moments ago falling away like melting snow. “Gabriel, you are forgetting who you are. I love you, but I will see and fuck whoever I like, and you will do as you’re told.”

  He gave me a scathing look then dropped his head.

  “You’re right Jane. I’m sorry. I just hate sharing you.”

  “I know Gabe, but you have to remember, you’re not really here.”

  I called in sick. I didn’t know how to face Leon. He would have questions, questions I didn’t want to answer, not to his face anyway.

  My phone rang five minutes after I called Sammy.

  “You’re unwell again?” his voice was a combination of irritated and worried.

  “No Leon, I’m fine.”

  “So why did you call in sick?”

  “I’m avoiding you.”

  After a short silence, he asked, “Why?”

  “I think you know.” My mouth felt dry.

  “Did you like your gift?”

  “I did.”

  “Did it fit?” his voice was a low rumbling thunder.

  I bit my lip, heat rising to my cheek. “It was a little tight.”

  I heard the sharp intake of breath on the other side of the line.

  “Jane –”

  I cut him off, “See you on Tuesday Leon, I need the day to test out all the holes my birthday gift can fill.”

  I hung up, a triumphant smile on my lips. Fuck him. Two can play this game.

  It’s hard to describe the moment that you see more than a single zero in your bank account. I was broke before I started work at The Hot Bird, and although I was earning great money, there were old debts and necessities.

  I needed new clothes for work, a desk, some new bed sheets, you get the idea.

  I was spending nearly as quickly as I was earning. I saved what I could by foregoing meals to ensure I had a safety net for later.

  So, to wake up and see four zeros behind a single number in my bank account almost sent me into cardiac arrest. The thing was, this wasn’t my advance. I got that two months before, this was my first pay cheque. My series hit the shelves two months prior and flew to number one in its first six weeks. It was still at number one, and Clarice assured me it would be likely to remain there for a while yet. She also reminded me that nothing sells your first book like the second one. I assured her that I was nearly done with the second book. She asked me to send her everything I had.

  After doing a victory dance around my apartment I grabbed my phone.

  “I don’t need your job anymore. I can make my own way.”

  The message was seen. The small tick beneath the message glared at me. He didn’t reply. Not after an hour or after two.

  I paced my apartment like a caged animal. What was that asshole doing? He should have called, texted, sent a bloody singing telegram. His silence was gnawing at me.

  I got dressed for work. I had half a mind to call in sick again, but I owed Sammy, leaving her in the lurch because her boss was a total asshole just wasn’t fair.

  I applied my makeup ensuring to put on an extra coat of Fire Breather lipstick. I smacked my lips together and headed for the door.

  When I got to work Sammy gave me a lingering look, that smile of hers stretched across her face and she walked right over and threw her arms around me in a warm embrace. It was affectionate and beautiful like a sister would. I held her for a moment and she released me.

  “Leon wants to see you upstairs.” She flashed me her pearly whites and turned to the bar.

  Later it would dawn on me that this was her goodbye.

  His office was brightly lit. He was leaning against his desk, staring at the door. His hair, as always, immaculately brushed to the side. He wore a black tailored suit that was designed to show off all his best features. He stiffened as he saw me enter his office, and clasped his hands in front of him.

  “Jane.” Leon straightened up and pointed to the seat in front of his desk. “Please sit.”

  I did as I was told.

  Leon rounded his desk and fell into his seat. He stared at me for a long moment and picked up a pristine white envelope that was placed neatly before him.

  “Jane Miller. You have worked here for approximately two years. In that time your work ethic has proven to be below par, taking unscheduled time off, slow at your evening tasks and your appeal with customers has worn off.”

  “Hey!” I cut him off, but he raised a hand silently.

  I crossed my arms in protest and stared at him.

  He cleared his throat. “As I was saying, due to your performance I must inform you that your job here has become redundant effective immediately. Here is your severance pay, you will find it more than generous.”

  He held out the envelope. I stood up attempting to snatch it from him. Instead, he grabbed my wrist and held it pulling me over his desk. Stretching me so that I was almost completely bent over.

  “Fuck Jane, I have wanted you bent over that desk for so long.” I swallowed hard at his words as he released me and handed me the envelope. I pulled myself up and adjusted my skirt. I opened the envelope and eyed my severance.

  “You don’t have to do this.”

  “I know, but I want to. Just like I want to do this.” Leon shot from his chair and was by my side in a matter of a few strides pushing me against the lip of his desk, his firm body like a wall against mine. Leon grabbed my chin wrenching my head towards his. His lips captured my mouth with hungry urgency. His soft lips devouring me in a long drugging kiss. When he released me, his broad chest was heaving, mimicking my own.

  “Jane,” he whispered my name like a prayer. He stepped back and held out his hand to me peeling me off his desk. I didn’t want to move. I wanted him to throw me onto that slab of wood and fuck me, take me, make me scream out his name.

  “Would you join me for dinner Jane?” his self-control back, his face revealing nothing.

  “Yes.” As long as he was on the menu.

  The car ride was charged, any wayward spark would have set fire to the back seat, an inescapable inferno.

  We sat in silence, his fingers stroked my thighs in deliberate long strokes that started just above my knees and ended beyond my skirt, close enough to feel the heat between my legs.

  We stopped somewhere in the city. The street was vibrant. Street lights tried to out-sparkle neon signs. The streets were flooded with people, colourful, odd, beautiful. Leon pulled me from the car and guided me towards a restaurant.

  The space was beautiful, elegant and stylish. I felt completely under dressed. My body froze. Leon paying no heed to my discomfort followed the waiter egging me on with a hand at the small of my back. Forcing me to put one foot in front of the other.

  “People are watching me.”

  “What else is new Jane?”

  “This isn’t work.”

  “It’s exactly the same. All the men in the room suddenly realised they want to fuck you and all the women wish they were you. The only difference is that they will not be throwing money at you tonight, and the only man that will get to touch you is me.” His face remained stoic while my stomach coiled and twisted, trying to hang on to my heart that was suddenly racing.

  The waiter led us along a long teppanyaki table. Hot plates and food lined the counter. Men in white chef’s uniform and tall white hats performed for the spectators. Clanging metal and laughter echoed through the space.

  The waiter indicated that our seats were at the end of the long table. Leon pulled out my chair and waited for me to sit before removing his jacket. He hung it on his chair and sat beside me.

  The waiter asked for our drinks order,
Leon ordered a beer for himself and a gin and tonic for me.

  “You make assumptions.”

  “I pay attention,” he retorted. I couldn’t argue. It’s all I ever drank at work.

  A tall skinny man dressed in white arrived at the hot plate. He introduced himself at Arihiro and told us he would be our chef for the night. He cracked a few jokes and poured oil on the sizzling plate, his metal scrapers clanging like thunder. Arihiro threw a series of vegetables on the hot plate, his practised hands moving in fluid perfect motions, like a practised dancer. Meat and rice were coated by sweet sauces and soon our meal was served in bowls, steaming and mouth-watering.

  Spending time with Leon seemed effortless when he was out of his office. His sleeves were rolled half way up his muscular forearms, and his tattoos peeked beyond the fabric.

  We laughed a lot.

  He laughed.

  It was warm and sweet, low and raucous and completely irresistible. There is something very sexy about a man letting down his guard and just being himself. His serious façade melted away as laughter lines creased his eyes. He seemed younger when he smiled. And that night he smiled a lot.

  We talked, and cheered and clapped our chef. Leon fed me sushi and tempura vegetables. We drank.

  I drank.

  Not enough to lose my senses, but enough to let some of my guard fall away. Enough so I could be free to be me. Enough so that I would stop being afraid of all the feelings and desires I had for this man.

  Throughout dinner, his hands were always on me. My thigh, my shoulders, my chin. His warm fingers never left me, like a constant reminder that he was near. Not that I needed it. My body reacted to him on its own. Like somewhere I had a switch and Leon knew just how to flick it and leave it on, burning, lighting up, heating up until all that was left is molten hot heat with nowhere to go.

  Dinner ended too quickly. I didn’t want it to end. It’s not that I didn’t want to see what happened next, but I liked the moment we were in, the happy bubble of beginnings. The hope that lay there under the surface. After we both got what we wanted, there might be more. So much more.