BIG BAD BOY (Big Men Series Book 1)

by Penny Wylder

  “Fuck, Jenna, you are so fucking incredible at this.”

  I steal peeks at him from under my lashes too, enjoying the way his teeth are gritted, his head tilting back as he starts to lose himself too. I press my tongue up against him, swirl it around him while he fucks my mouth, and reach between his legs with one hand to toy with his balls, my other hand still gripping his ass hard, and I dig my fingernails into his skin, wanting to mark him.

  A groan escapes him, deep and throaty, and I can tell he’s being driven wild. I love that I do this to him; that I’m the reason he loses control.

  “Fuck yeah, suck me with that sexy mouth of yours,” he hisses between gritted teeth. “Grab my balls, Jenna.”

  I obey, reaching up to roll his balls between my thumb and forefinger, and shift my tongue around him in slow circles, digging my tip in along the sides of his shaft, and flicking it across his sensitive tip whenever he draws back out of my mouth to slide between my lips again. I feel him tense, his muscles tightening in anticipation.

  “I’m gonna come in your mouth, dirty girl. Swallow my cum.”

  I clamp my lips around him harder, rock against him so his cock slides all the way down into my throat with each thrust, ignoring the occasional gag that escapes me—he seems to like that anyway, his cock jumping between my lips every time I nearly choke.

  “That’s right, take it, Jenna.”

  I moan around him, letting my lips vibrate around his shaft, and that does it. He pulls me against him for one last deep thrust and groans loudly, a sound that’s practically a growl, as he comes in my mouth. I swallow around him, drinking him in, savoring the hot wet taste of him.

  “Fuck,” he sighs. He moves to draw back, his fists relaxing around my hair, but I keep going. I lick the whole length of him clean, from base to tip. I’m still going when he starts to soften a little. Then he reaches down and cups me under the chin. Tilts my head up to face him. His thumb brushes gently across my cheekbone, protective. “God you’re fucking amazing,” he whispers.

  I stand then, and he bends to kiss me, our tongues entwining as he tastes himself on my lips, all throughout my mouth.

  When we pull apart again to breathe, he’s gazing at me like he’s never seen anything like me before. “Jenna.” His hand slides down my body to my stomach. He traces his hand across the plane of my belly, and only then do I remember what brought us here. What a mess this has all become.

  But he’s not looking at me like he’s angry, or even sad. He looks like he’s… happy.

  “What are you thinking?” I murmur, studying his expression, confused.

  He smiles, answering the question already. It’s a genuine, huge smile, one I’ve seen before—the last time we got together. I didn’t know if I would ever see this look from him again. “I’m thinking I’m the luckiest fucking man on the planet right now.” His hand remains pressed flat against my stomach, as he pulls me closer to him, into his arms. “And I’m thinking I never want to let you out of my sight again,” he murmurs against my hair, before he kisses the top of my head.

  Everything I didn’t expect out of this encounter. I tilt my head back to study him, and I know there’s confusion written all over my face.

  “What about you?” he asks then, with a little frown of concern. “What are you thinking?"

  13

  Gil

  “What are you thinking?” I ask her, and already I’m bracing myself. Because I remember the cold act she put on earlier today. The way she pushed me away. And despite the very sexy thaw we just experienced, I haven’t the slightest clue how Jenna feels about. . . everything.

  The way she clearly hadn’t planned to ever tell me about the baby—our baby. When we’re together, I feel like there’s nobody else in the world, like nothing else matters. But does she feel that way too? Our chemistry is clearly off the charts, but why is she looking at me like this now, her brows drawn together in a deep frown? I barely know anything about her life outside of our time together in this cabin, and she’s going to be the mother of my child. I can’t ever remember feeling so unsure, so completely at someone’s will.

  “I’m just wondering how you can be this way,” Jenna finally murmurs.

  I blink in surprise. It’s not what I was expecting. “What do you mean?”

  She breaks from my arms to step away, across the room. She crosses her own arms over her belly. “I mean, given everything you found out today—aren’t you mad at me? Don’t you resent me for all of this?”

  “Well, I wish you’d told me sooner.” I take a step toward her. “But Jenna, why would I be mad?”

  Tears glitter at the corner of her eyes. My heart beats faster at the sight. I would do anything to stop those tears. I want to sweep her off her feet, wrap her tight in a blanket and curl her up in my bedroom, where nothing will ever be able to hurt her again. Because I won’t let anything bad happen to her. Not ever.

  “Well, I just…” She wipes at her cheek, angrily—though that anger is directed toward herself, I think. She clears her throat once, hard. “After what you said a month ago, Gil, I just don’t understand how you could be happy about this. About me being… I mean, about a baby.”

  “Our baby,” I correct her. Then I step toward her, closing the gap she’s put between us. “And Jenna, I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is unexpected, yes, but how could I not be happy about having a family?”

  She purses her lips. “Maybe because you told me you wouldn’t be? I believe your exact words were ‘Kids are too much work.’” She puts a hand on her hip, and I wince, suddenly remembering what she’s talking about.

  Of course. Our conversation the morning after our night together. “Look, kids are a lot of work. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to run away from this—”

  Jenna speaks over me. “You also said casual is your speed. Which I took to mean you weren’t interested in anything serious. Which is why I didn’t jump on the train to come track you down and inform you when I realized I was pregnant, Gil. The last thing I want to be is a burden, to anyone.”

  “Jenna, listen to me.” I step closer, and when she tries to dodge me again, I catch her hands and pull them to my chest, pinning her in place. “Stop talking and running away from me for a goddamn minute, will you? I said that stuff after we hooked up because I thought it was what you wanted to hear from me.” I gaze into her eyes, deadly serious. “You aren’t from here, you said you were just passing through. And, I’ll admit, at the time, I was just having fun. But it was a fucking lot of fun, Jenna, more than I’d had with anyone else in a long time.”

  She relents, just a little, and I use the slackening in her arms to pull her to me until we’re chest-to-chest, my nose inches from hers.

  “I said I wasn’t looking for a family because I’d never met anyone I could picture myself with. Not because I hate the idea of kids or because I don’t want to eventually marry. But look at me.” I wave one arm around the cabin. “You said it right, that morning. I live like a complete bachelor out here in the woods. There’s nothing in this village but trees and now a bunch of people who suspect me of murder.” I snort at that, and despite herself, a faint grin touches the corners of her mouth, too. “What could I possibly offer a child? That’s what was running through my head that morning in the kitchen, Jenna. I thought a kid would be more work than I can handle.” I hesitate. “Probably because… I’d never met the right person to handle that work with me.” I cup her cheek. Trace my thumb over her cheekbone, as she gazes up at me with those big, sexy, easy-to-lose-myself-in eyes of hers. “But now?” I glance from her face down to her belly, where our future awaits. “You and this baby are my everything now, Jenna.”

  She swallows hard. Holds my gaze steady, eyes shining a little too brightly in the lamplight. For a moment, those full, lush lips of hers part, and I think she’s about to say something. It feels like my entire future hangs in the balance of what she’s going to say next. Is she about to tell me I’m right, or t
hat she understands now, maybe?

  Instead, she twists away from me, and gently tugs her hands from mine. “This is too much, Gil, too fast.” She crosses her arms again, retreats to a safe distance away. I watch her move, feeling helpless. “I came back here to help identify the murderer. That’s all. I’m going to give the police whatever else they need—the photos they asked from me, and any more interviews they want. Then that’s it. I need to go back home.”

  “Jenna, I’m not leaving you. I’m not going to abandon you and our child.”

  “You said it yourself, Gil.” She flings an arm at the cabin around us. “There’s nothing out here but trees and potential murderers. I can’t stay here; we can’t raise a kid in this village.”

  “Whatever we decide, we do it together, Jenna. I’m going to protect you. Keep you safe.”

  She runs a hand through her hair. Her gaze drifts to the windows. They’ve gone dark, since it’s well into the evening now.

  “At least stay here tonight,” I say. “It’s not safe to be walking around this village late at night. God knows poor Bradley Myers found that out already.”

  She grimaces and shuts her eyes, pressing a hand to her temple for a moment. “I’ll stay tonight.” Then she opens her eyes again, catches my eye, and shakes her head. “That’s all, though, Gil. I’m not promising anything more. Not right now.”

  “Okay,” I say, slowly. “I can deal with that. Gives me one night to prove myself to you.”

  She lets out a huff that’s somewhere between a sigh of exasperation and a laugh of amusement. “How can you be so passionate about this? How can you be so quick to give up your whole way of life, everything you had planned for yourself? You don’t even really know me!”

  “I know enough about you, Jenna, and when life hands you a plate of gold, you don’t throw that plate back in life’s face,” I say simply. Because to me, it is that simple. I didn’t know if I wanted a wife and kids—I didn’t know if I could handle it. I’d never pictured myself staying with any one woman that long.

  Until Jenna. Until now. Until she showed up in town carrying my baby, and the whole world shifted beneath my feet. Because I suddenly realize, it doesn’t matter if I’m ready. I have to handle it. For her. For both of us. For our child.

  And because if I don’t, for the rest of my life, I’ll regret letting her walk away.

  Jenna is running that hand through her hair again, and I try not to get distracted by the way her breasts shift when she raises one arm to run her fingertips through that silky hair of hers. Hair I want to grab again, as I pull her in for another of our scorching hot kisses. “Well, I’m glad one of us is sure how to feel,” Jenna finally replies, almost laughing. “Because I sure don’t. I mean, I only just found out about this baby, and it’s so early yet, things could… I mean, who knows what will happen with the pregnancy, let alone… anything else.” She lets her hand drop with a groan. “And we barely know each other, Gil.”

  “We know we have chemistry,” I point out. “That’s a start.”

  “Chemistry can’t sustain a whole relationship,” she counters. “All one night stands start with chemistry.”

  “Well, we know we both trust one another. The way you defended me to Merill at the hotel… you didn’t have to guard my back like that, Jenna. You did it because you believe me, when half the people in my own town don’t.” I move toward her again, unable to stop myself.

  She drifts toward me, too, drawn in the same way I am. We’re irresistible to each other. And I for one am sick of fighting this magnetism. I’d much rather just enjoy the fuck out of it, go with the flow, where our bodies take us. But, “What were you really doing that night, Gil?” she whispers, and I catch her gaze, hold it.

  “I told you, Jenna. I was looking for you. I saw you watching me earlier, when I was talking to customers. I watched you pretend to hide behind your camera, but I knew what you were doing. And I wanted you, too, from that moment on.” This time, when I raise a hand to caress her cheek, she lifts hers to tangle her fingers in mine. “And, when I saw you heading off into the forest by yourself, I’ll admit, I was worried about you. I didn’t want you to get lost or hurt. These woods can be unforgiving, even to locals like me who have grown up running around in them. You weren’t from around here; you were in even more danger.”

  “More danger than you even guessed,” Jenna murmurs, her gaze shifting for a moment, going distant. “Like that poor tourist guy.”

  “Like that.” I grimace. “Jenna, I know this is a lot to take in. And you’re right, this is all happening very fast.” I tilt forward until our foreheads touch, so I can gaze into her eyes from an inch away. “If you don’t believe I’m a good man, that’s all right. But at least give me the chance to prove it to you. Let me prove I can take care of you, that I can protect you and this baby both. Give us a chance to be a family.”

  She closes her eyes.

  My heart leaps into my throat, as I wait for an answer. I need her to agree. I need to prove myself. A chance, that’s all I need. There’s no way I’m going to fuck this up, not with a woman like her. Not with our baby on the way.

  Finally, her eyes open again, and fix on me, as gorgeous and distracting as ever. “We’ll see how it goes,” is all she says, though. Then she approaches me once more, leans up to kiss me on the lips, quick and light, not with our usual searing fire. “Just give me time, Gil,” she murmurs. “Please.”

  “Okay,” I reply. Then she brushes past me into the bathroom, and I’m left alone in the bedroom, staring at the walls, wondering where on earth I go from here.

  14

  Gil

  We don’t talk much after that. I offer to sleep on the couch tonight, but she stares at me like I’m crazy. “Don’t be ridiculous, it’s your house,” she says. “If anything, I should be the one on the sofa.”

  Now it’s my turn to stare. “Jenna, you’re pregnant. And even if you weren’t, what kind of man lets a woman sleep on the couch while he takes up the whole bed?”

  The corners of her mouth twitch. She almost smiled there, I know she did. But all she does is sigh in defeat and retreat into the bedroom. “Sleep in the bed with me, if you’re so adamant I can’t handle one night on couch cushions, then,” she calls over her shoulder.

  But after everything we talked about, I’m not ready to sleep just yet. My head is still buzzing, still wide awake, running through scenario after scenario. Ways I can prove how much I want this with her. How to show her that I’m the right man for her; that I’ll be whatever she needs me to be, both for her and for our child.

  “I’ll be in later,” I call to her. Then I push through the back door of my cabin and stride out into the yard. I cross it, into the only place where I’m always able to think straight. My workroom.

  On the bench sit the pieces of the table I was supposed to begin assembling tonight. So much for that. I stare at the wooden pieces, legs and a flat plane to make the base of the table, while I pace back and forth through the workroom.

  I know Jenna and I only just met recently. And no wonder she has reservations about pursuing something serious with me, given the impression I gave her last time. But that was before. Before I knew she was pregnant, before I knew this was a real tangible possibility.

  Hell, even I wouldn’t have guessed I’d react like this. But something has awakened inside of me, and there’s no denying that just like that, Jenna’s changed me. Without even trying. Suddenly I see a future of possibilities.

  I sit down at my workbench and stare around the shed. For years now, this has been my whole life. Building furniture, making things for the locals and the out-of-towners who order from me online or at the festival each year. And I’ve been happy with that. It’s not like I was sitting around here feeling like my life was empty and meaningless. I loved it. But now, I feel wrestles.

  Until Jenna came along and struck me with this lightning bolt, I didn’t realize that I’m ready for a change. I’m ready for the next phase
of life. I’m ready to build more than just tables and chairs and furniture.

  I’m ready to build a family.

  Without Jenna, without this happy accident, I don’t know if I ever would have realized that. I would have continued plugging along here, in the same old life I’d always lived, happily ignorant of how much I was missing, how much more there could be to life than just work, and hiking, and weekend drinks with the guys at the local watering hole downtown, or pulling cute girls who are up in the village for a weekend retreat.

  Without Jenna, that would’ve been my whole future. The rest of my days.

  Now… Now, there’s so much more ahead of me. A baby to care for, a woman to call my own, to build a life around. I want to learn everything about her. Fuck. How the hell did a guy like me get so damn lucky?

  The only thing I need to do is find some way to prove to Jenna that I’m serious about this. To show her, instead of just telling her, how much I care.

  I continue staring around my work shed like an idiot for at least another half an hour before it hits me. Inspiration. How did I not think of this sooner? I look around again, with new eyes, at all the wood I have stacked around, the supplies I’d stocked up on in preparation to get started on this commissioned table.

  And as I study all the pieces, an idea begins to form…

  15

  Jenna

  The next morning I wake up and Gil’s already in his workshop. I don’t want to bother him, but my anxiety about the murder investigation and all my confused thoughts about Gil and the baby are driving me crazy, so I pop my head into his workshop to ask if I can borrow his truck. I need some space. I can tell he’s totally in the zone, sanding some intricately carved spindles, but he looks up at me and answers, “Sure. Keys are on the kitchen table. Will I see you later tonight?”