The Setup

by Rachel Van Dyken

  I frowned. “Personality flaws?”

  “The guy was pretty,” he started reading from his phone. “But dumb as a bag of rocks—her words, not mine.”

  The room erupted into soft laughter, me included.

  “So…” Lex shrugged. “I went in and reprogrammed a few things, and then I plugged in some information. Testing needs to be done in-house and fast.”

  In-house and fast, I highlighted and looked up to see Lex looking directly at me, while Ian looked directly at Finn.

  A bead of sweat made its way down my back. Oh no. I knew that look. That was the Lex look, the “I’m going to throw you under the bus, but I promise you’ll like it because I’m freaking Lex Luthor” look!

  “Finn.” Lex snapped his attention away from me. I exhaled in relief. “You’re the newbie, and since I need you to know this program like the back of your hand, I’m going to have you test the app for the next thirty days, plug in your ideal woman, go crazy, remember this is just like your old job, no actual dating, it’s not real, but you do need to make sure that you take extensive notes on what works and what doesn’t.”

  “Consider it done,” Finn said in a smooth timbre that had me crossing and uncrossing my legs like my body was confused why we weren’t sitting on his lap or climbing him like a tree.

  “And Jilly,” Lex said softly. “You’ll be doing the same thing, but you’ll be building your ideal boyfriend through the app.” I couldn’t breathe. “We need both male and female counterparts working on this; consider this your first big project Jilly. If you do good, you’re a shoo-in for the promotion I know you’ve been wanting. We don’t want to waste that UW Master’s in Business on managing these dickheads.”

  “You went to UW?” Finn piped up, embarrassing the crap out of me.

  I opened my mouth to speak when Leo interrupted him. “God you’re an asshole. She was only in a dozen or so classes with us for two years before graduating ahead of us. Sorry Jilly, he’s an idiot.”

  I didn’t know what to say.

  So, I just nodded and turned my attention back to Lex. “I assume we’re doing everything through TestFlight, and you’ll be checking on us weekly?”

  He frowned. “I don’t think you totally understand.”

  Oh, no.

  The grin was back as Lex locked eyes with me. “Finn’s spearheading this project, and you’re his one team member. You guys will meet the dates together and then summarize what worked and what didn’t. Then you’ll bring the information to the team every Monday until launch.”

  I gaped.

  Someone coughed in the background.

  “All right!” Ian grabbed a box of donuts. “Moving on, grab your donut, and let’s talk launch.”

  I sat in stunned silence for the next hour, trying not to look in Finn’s direction, but when the meeting finally ended, our gazes locked.

  His was one of mild curiosity.

  And mine was one of terror.

  Because I wasn’t sure, I would get a promotion if I was supposed to be spending all my free time with the one guy I’d crushed on in college, who never even knew I existed, despite borrowing pens from me for four years.

  Great.

  “Finn, a word?” Ian called.

  And just like that, the spell was broken, I scurried out of the board room like my heels were on fire and went to my desk.

  Still shaking, I typed up the notes and tried not to think of Finn’s mouth or the way he looked at me like I was a puzzle he thought needed solving.

  Whatever, two can play the ignoring game.

  If he wanted an equal partner, he was going to treat me like one, starting today.

  And like manna from heaven, Ruth from HR walked in and handed me his company badge, keys, the company black card, and the welcome packet. “Make sure Finn Titus gets this.”

  “Oh.” I took it and grinned. “I will.”

  I checked my watch.

  Right after lunch…

  Chapter Three

  Finn

  My first project and already my partner had run out of the meeting room like I was getting ready to throw her over my shoulder and growl at any person that came into my cave. I mean really, I wasn’t that much of an ass, was I?

  “Can’t believe you don’t remember her,” Leo said under his breath once everyone had cleared out of the room. “She sat by you for a year in business marketing.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You know how college was. If you gave a girl attention, she automatically thought that you were interested and ready to quit Wingmen in order to find a girlfriend.”

  Leo put his hand on my shoulder. “True, but that doesn’t excuse you from being an asshole. You stole her pencil one time.”

  I gasped. “I did no such thing!”

  “I saw you, dipshit, and then she let you have it. It had a unicorn—”

  “—tail on the top. Holy shit, I’m an asshole.”

  He nodded knowingly. “And your day’s about to get worse, HR probably dropped off all your company stuff, and the gatekeeper just happens to be…” We walked out of the meeting room, and he pointed my body in the general direction of our office manager’s circular desk.

  “Her desk is like a silver spaceship,” I muttered. “She’s sitting like a fucking general, Leo.”

  And she was.

  Sitting so ramrod straight, my lower back hurt.

  Her tuxedo jacket hugged her generous curves and made my palms immediately start to sweat.

  She was uptight.

  And I loved when a woman let loose.

  So why couldn’t I look away?

  She tucked her mousy brown hair behind her ears and then smiled at something.

  I choked on my spit a bit. Damn, her smile was gorgeous. It took up half her face, a perfect row of straight white teeth that grinned into space like she’d just won the lottery, and her face lit up like a Christmas tree as she opened something and then lifted it to her face.

  “A carrot?” I muttered. “Who the hell looks at a vegetable like it can give them an orgasm?”

  Leo just shook his head. “Go grab your shit so you can start your job and stop staring at Jilly. So, she likes carrots—I seem to remember a guy who had a fascination with Sesame Street body wash.”

  I clapped a hand over his mouth. “You wouldn’t.”

  He just grinned behind my hand then held up a middle finger.

  “And I’m the asshole,” I grunted, pulling my hand away while he turned and went back to his office, abandoning me to the girl who orgasmed with carrots.

  Okay, a mild stretch, but still.

  Was I so sexually frustrated that I imagined the whole thing?

  I mean I was finally able to date, and instead, I decided to jump right into work, the idea of going out on a date sounded so overwhelming that I wanted to slap myself in the face.

  I took a few steps toward Jilly’s desk and then stopped, leaning over the counter while she stared at her carrots, counted them, then took one small bite.

  Crunch. Chew, chew, chew. Crunch. Chew, chew, chew.

  I was six-three, there was no missing me.

  I cleared my throat.

  She looked up; her eyebrows raised as if to say. “Yes?” But still no words.

  “Jilly, hi sorry I think we got off on the wrong foot, I remember you now, I just tended to ignore any female who might possibly try to get the wrong idea about me, or us, or what I did.” I gulped, where the hell had my game with women gone? “And so…” Fucking hell, she just kept chewing. “Leo sent me over to grab my employee package?”

  She didn’t even blink.

  Was she human?

  With slow movements, she pulled out something and then set it on her desk and jabbed her finger at it.

  “Out to lunch!” it said with a little paper clock that she turned to 11:30.

  I checked my watch.

  It was 11:25.

  “Really?” I crossed my arms. “What? Do you need five more minutes to count your
carrots or something?”

  She pointed at the sign again.

  With a huff, I walked over to the waiting area and sat, while the sound of her chewing carrots for some reason had my body buzzing with awareness of the sexual sort.

  Bite. Chew, chew, chew.

  Bite.

  I adjusted myself discreetly as she looked over the counter. Our eyes met, hers were a hazel that had me momentarily transfixed.

  And then, bite. Chew, chew, chew, all the while watching me with disdain.

  I checked my watch and let out a rough exhale.

  Wasn’t I her boss? I mean, technically?

  Did I really want to pull that card right now?

  On day one?

  With my new partner?

  Finally, she took down the sign.

  I nearly sprinted toward her desk. “Jilly, can I please have my employee packet now?”

  “That depends,” she said in a voice that I felt all the way down to my groin. “Can you read a map?”

  “I think I can manage,” I bit out, trying like hell not to sound as offended as I felt.

  “Hmmm.” If she grabbed that seventh carrot and bit into it, I was going to lose my shit, and fast.

  She grabbed it.

  I stared her down.

  She glared up at me.

  And without thinking, because I’m an idiot, I snatched the carrot out of her hand and shoved it in my mouth and chewed.

  She gaped at me like I’d just stolen a puppy and ran it over with my brand-new Mercedes. And as I chewed, I wondered why I was suddenly reverting back to middle school and stealing a girl’s food, so she’d pay attention to me.

  I chewed.

  Swallowed.

  Then grinned. “No more carrots.”

  “Not a fan?” she asked.

  “No, I’m just running out of patience. All I need is my employee packet, and I’ll leave you alone to mate with the carrots for all I care.”

  “Mate?”

  “Mate.” I nodded. “Seems you really like to bite and chew, but who am I to judge?”

  Her cheeks colored. “Yes, well, if one doesn’t chew one chokes.”

  I almost did choke at the way she said the word.

  “Wouldn’t want that,” I said huskily.

  Her eyes darted away briefly as she grabbed a thick packet and stood. “Follow me.”

  I couldn’t help it if my eyes trained on her ass at least twice before we made it into my office.

  It wasn’t as big as Leo’s, but it was still nice. With a leather couch in the corner, a huge desk with a view of the sound, and what looked like a minibar in the corner.

  She put all the items on my desk, then pulled out a paper and shoved it in my direction. “A map of Wingmen Campus. We rival Amazon in size, so memorize this, or you’re going to get lost, and we don’t give out free candy to kids who can’t find their parents.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I think I can manage.”

  She was so damn rigid standing there. Did the woman relax? Ever? She handed me the map then reached for another paper. “This is a list of all the local places to eat within a three-mile radius that accept the Wingmen company food card. Each employee gets a hundred a month in credits. Just try not to use it all on booze during your lunch hour. We’ll know.”

  “So, I’m an alcoholic now?” I wondered out loud.

  “And this,” she said, ignoring me completely, “is your company credit card. It’s for company expenses.”

  “Got it.”

  She held it out to me, then pulled it back. “I see everything that’s purchased, so does accounting.”

  I sighed. Could the day be over already? “Look.” I jerked the card out of her hand. “At the risk of sounding like a complete asshole, again, I’m a Titus. I don’t need to steal company money, and I’m not going to go out and put a prostitute on the company card.” She gasped as I took a step forward and grinned. “That goes on my Amex.”

  Another horrified gasp.

  “Jilly, I was kidding.”

  Her cheeks reddened as she lifted her hands innocently in the air. “Hey, who am I to judge if you have to pay a woman for sex?”

  My eyes narrowed. “More like they pay me.”

  She smirked.

  “Stepped right into that one, didn’t I?” I wondered out loud.

  “One hundred percent.” She nodded triumphantly, then chewed her lower lip. God, I wanted to see what her lips tasted like.

  What the hell was wrong with me?

  The room felt small.

  My suit too tight.

  “Anything else?” I rasped.

  Her eyes darted to my mouth, then back up. “Should we talk about the app since you have me in here?”

  I wanted her against the desk, but instead of saying that, I motioned for her to take a seat on the couch while I pulled up one of my chairs. “What’s your schedule look like this week?”

  “Other than feeding all my cats and going to a bikini wax appointment, I’m pretty free.”

  “I can’t tell if you’re baiting me again or serious.”

  Her smile didn’t falter. “I love cats.”

  “I’m not judging you.”

  “I’m married to my animals.”

  “Good for you.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “I go to Cat Con.”

  “How progressive of you, and why do I suddenly want to crash the party in a dog costume and raise hell?”

  She pressed her lips together. “Cats only.”

  “Damn story of my life.” I grinned. “And the bikini wax? I suppose that’s a weekly thing?”

  “Yes.” She nodded solemnly. “Because girls are such hairy creatures, we have to get waxed every seven days.”

  I eyed her up and down, nothing but smooth skin. “Dedicated. I like it.”

  “And you? What about your schedule?”

  “Ah, well, I have a few hours after work blocked out for ball scratching and watching porn, and then I grab a six-pack and sit in my front yard and heckle the neighbors, with binoculars.”

  “Of course.”

  “Right?” I agreed. “Other than that, and Sunday football where I sit in the same chair for twelve hours straight doing nothing but eating peanuts and drinking beer—I think I’m free.”

  “I’m amazed you’re single. Such a catch.” She laughed.

  “Right? What do you think does it more? The ball scratching or peanuts?”

  “Definitely the ball scratching.” She stood and eyed me suspiciously. “We have thirty days of this, don’t you think you could try to be less… you?”

  “No can do, cat lady.” I stood and offered my hand. “It seems you’ve met your match. Go over the app tonight, start building your perfect man, and I’ll start building my perfect woman. We’ll meet the first people the app matches with us this Friday.”

  “Seven?” She went white as a ghost.

  “Sure.”

  “Where at?” Her hands shook a bit at her sides.

  “Where will you not look ready to puke? Cause, wherever that is, is where we need to be for this to work.”

  The shaking stopped, color returned, and she rolled her eyes. There she was, the fight was back. “I’ll be fine, I’m just hungry because someone stole my last carrot.”

  “It was amazing too, so very crunchy.”

  She let out an outraged gasp.

  I just shrugged. “Let me know the place before Friday. Happy building, Jilly.”

  “It’s Jillian,” she snapped.

  “Okay, Jill.”

  With a groan, she left my office, and I found myself smiling like a fool for the rest of the day.

  Chapter Four

  Jillian

  I worked late for the next three days straight. It was already Thursday, and I still hadn’t done anything in my app. It was daunting, trying to build the perfect boyfriend. They asked about hair color, hand size. Heck, they even asked about teeth! It was like going shopping for a man!

  When
we went into personalities, I typed in polite, a gentleman, and then I hesitated.

  That’s what every girl wanted? Someone who was polite? Not an asshole like Finn, who just fed into every sarcastic conversation like he was born that way.

  I’d been lying about my cats, but instead of calling me on it, he took it in stride. He was the sort of guy to probably send me cat food in bulk until I confessed, I was kidding.

  I smiled to myself.

  Why were the hot ones always the ones that were bad? Or complete manwhores hellbent on breaking a girl’s heart?

  The only reason he was paying attention to me was because he had no choice, literally.

  “Jilly!” Knox, Slater, and Leo all called my name, causing me to drop my phone onto the desk and look up.

  Did all three of them have to approach at the same time? I mean, really, have a care for a girl’s heart!

  “Hey, boys.” I tried to appear bored when really my eyes were feasting on the male beauty in front of me, God help us all if Ian, Lex, and Finn joined them, I’d probably burst on the spot.

  Either that or my ovaries would straight up explode.

  “So, we were talking,” Slater started.

  I let out a snort. “Gossiping like girls, you mean?”

  “Yup, that.” Leo didn’t even hide it; then again, it was Leo.

  “And we wanted to know how far you’d gotten with the app testing?” This from Knox, who was a bit more serious than the other two.

  “Oh, that.” I picked up my phone, hit the app, then turned it toward them. “All I have right now is a tall gentleman with a nice personality. My perfect man is apparently tall—sorry Slater—”

  “Son of a bitch, for the last time I’m not short!” he argued.

  Six-five Knox looked down at him with a smug grin, Slater just rolled his eyes and glared at me.

  I held up my hands while they all looked at my phone.

  “At the rate you’re going, you’re not going to have a date,” Knox pointed out. “And Finn’s came back with at least sixteen different options for the next few weekends.”

  “Sixteen!” I squeaked. “What if I don’t have any? What if my perfect man doesn’t exist? Oh god, I’m going to get fired, aren’t I?”