by Doyle, Dawn
Not anymore.
Kaia’s lips quirked up in the corners, her cold stare softening. “That’s a story for another time, Mad-dog,” she teased. “One that’s so magnificently messed up, I doubt you’d believe it.”
I don’t have to, cupcake. I already know.
Chapter 13
Kaia
I twirled my pendant through my fingers while flicking through the books on the desk. The professor hadn’t entered, but some other students had begun filing into the lecture hall, their noisy conversations carrying in from outside. The text was clear, but I couldn’t see it. My mind was occupied with other thoughts; memories of the weekend I wouldn’t forget.
While I’d stuffed myself with the best cake I’d ever tasted in my life, Maddoc talked, telling me all about Willow’s plans for her bakery. I’d had a pang in my chest as he’d spoken about her with pride, fully supporting her dream, and even helping her to find the best culinary school for her when she graduated high school. It was clear he was definitely not a fan of honey cookies, and had retched a few times, making me laugh.
After dropping me off at mine and Daria’s apartment, we’d said our goodbyes, and that was that.
Three days, and I hadn’t seen him since. Not anywhere, not around campus, not the library, and definitely not in the halls where I could spot him above everybody else in an instant. He’d sent me a couple of texts, telling me that he had practice, and that he’d see me in class. I responded with my short and sweet, ‘okay.’
Daria had wanted to know everything, from the moment I got in the truck, to the time I got out at home. Even when I was emptying my case, she asked more and more questions. There was only so much I could say. How could I tell her that the huge smile on my face when I walked in was because I’d had fun with Maddoc? How could I tell her that my happiness was because my aversion in all things Maddoc Dass had nothing to do with him, and everything to do with me; that he’d shattered my misconceptions in less than a day?
But, sharing my thoughts, the reality of my still fucked up situation, was more than I was ready for. Only Daria knew those details.
“Cupcake!”
I jumped when Maddoc practically threw himself down in the seat next to me. “My heart!” I complained, clutching my chest over my red sweater. I grabbed the extra material in my fist before releasing it slowly. “I could’ve died.”
Maddoc rolled his eyes. “Dramatic as usual.” He dumped his books on the desk and then turned to me, his arm resting on the back of his seat, his face so close to me that I had to lean back so I could think straight. “If I’d have stopped your heart, babe, I would’ve brought you back. I know mouth-to-mouth.”
My jaw dropped. “Don’t you mean CPR?” I tried not to imagine his mouth on mine, but the second my attention dropped to his lips, that’s all I could think about.
Damn him.
Mischief danced in his eyes when his uninjured brow flinched, the corners of his lips tilting up. “My way is more interesting,” he replied, his tone deep and gravelly as he leaned closer. He pumped both brows then sat up straight, adjusting his long, black denim covered legs under the desk, extending them out to the side. Stylish rips in the knees exposed his skin where they bent, and a dusting of short light hairs. “Don’t you think?”
I snapped my eyes up to his face, his own still on mine. “Whatever you say, Maddoc.”
A quiet chuckle came from next to me, and I looked at him in my peripheral vision, seeing his hand tap a pen on the desk, and continued up his navy sleeve, to his shoulder. The white body of his raglan shirt rested over his chest, and curved inward against his flat stomach where he’d relaxed.
He moved toward me again, this time sideways, his thick arm almost brushing my shoulder. “Did Daria give you the third degree when you got in?”
I turned my face to him. “What?”
Maddoc slowly faced me, too, our noses a few inches apart. “Daria. Did she ask about the weekend?” I made the mistake of breathing in while he was invading my safe space. I was serious. I could sell that stuff and become an overnight millionaire. “You can say it, cupcake.”
“Say what?” My heart rate increased ten-fold. Had I blurted something out? Had I leaned in for another fix?
“I smell good. I know you think it, but you’re too shy to admit it.”
Here comes the fire… Burning me from the inside out.
I narrowed my eyes and adjusted my position to give me a little room to take in oxygen instead of Maddoc Dass’ scent. “Are you trying to annoy me? Because if you are, it’s working.”
He licked his lips, his tongue working slowly, moving out, over the top then the bottom, pulling the soft skin inside his mouth before releasing it. “Just admit it, babe. The first step to recovery is to acknowledge you have a problem.”
“I don’t have a problem,” I scoffed, but I so did, and it was growing worse the longer he insisted on sitting next to me.
He held his arms out, his elbows bent. “Cupcake, come on. We’re friends, right? Friends share, and if you need to get it off your chest, I’m all ears.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, shaking my head in disbelief. “Share what?”
“Okay, first”—he held up his finger—“I’m glad that you didn’t deny we’re friends—now we’re getting somewhere,” he held up another finger, “and secondly, you’re a terrible liar.”
“What am I lying about, exactly?” I folded my arms over my chest, giving myself a little more distance.
Maddoc beamed, his megawatt smile blinding me, and then the asshole darted his tongue over his lower lip again while he grinned. “Just say it. You’ll feel better for it.”
It was useless arguing with him, I knew that much. Whatever I said, he’d come back with something else, some other way to get under my skin like he usually did. But, instead of me hating him for his flirtatious personality, it heated me. The bastard had me warming inside against my will, my stomach fluttering wildly with butterflies dancing, and my pulse spiking to a whole new level. I was no longer immune.
You never were.
“Fine,” I groaned.
“Hang on,” he said, and rested his elbows on the desk, facing me, his fingers under his chin, waiting for some big reveal. “Okay, I’m ready, cupcake.” He blinked once while nodding, and rolled one hand for me to speak. “I think it’s time.”
“You’re impossible.”
“Yes, but that’s nothing new, is it? This is your twelve-step program for our blossoming friendship, babe, and you’ve already passed the first.”
What was I going to do with him? It didn’t matter that just the sight of him had my mind shutting down, he was still the same immature jokester he’d always been. And hell did I find myself smiling in spite of it.
“You’re not gonna stop until I give you what you want, are you?”
Maddoc’s green eyes flashed, his expression hardening for a split-second. “Cupcake, do you not know me at all?”
I dropped my head for a moment, looking away to give myself the courage to say it, to avoid lighting up the room with my trademark blush. “You smell good, Maddoc.”
“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that,” he said, cupping his ear toward me. “Could you repeat it?”
I sighed in frustration. “You smell good, okay?”
Maddoc chuckled, and sat back in his seat. “I know, you already told me.”
My eyes bugged out of my head, and I stared incredulously as he acted like I’d just told him the time. “I did? When?” Oh, fuck, when the hell had I said that? I never spoke to him, I never told Daria, or anyone else for that matter.
He leaned to the side, tilting his chin, and looking up at me, his lashes almost touching his thick brows. “Like I said, you’re hilarious when you’re drunk.” He moved quickly when I swatted his arm. He took a deep breath through his nose, and closed his eyes. “God, you smell good,” he said, his tone higher than before as though mimicking me.
“Yo
u’re an asshole,” I growled between my teeth.
Maddoc continued chuckling. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me, babe.” He winked, then reached toward me. He took a lock of my loose hair and held it up. “And if we’re being honest here, you don’t smell too bad yourself.” He brought my hair to his nose and sniffed. “Just like a super sweet, sugary cupcake, with extra frosting.” He let go, then took ahold of the diamanté band holding my hair back. He gently pulled it off and placed it on his own, the clear beads pushing down his sexily messed hair. “Mixed with violets.”
“Mr. Dass, you look…sparkly,” Professor McNulty said as he approached his long desk at the front of the room. He stared in confusion while putting down his brown leather bag.
“Thank you, sir,” Maddoc replied, gently elbowing me. “I think it brings out my pretty eyes, or so I hear.”
I slinked down in my chair, placing my hand over my face. “Oh, dear God.”
“In fact,” Maddoc continued, glancing at me, “I heard more than somebody thinks.”
I couldn’t go any lower in my seat without slipping off the edge. My elbows were almost as high as my shoulders, my hands covering my scorching face as I tried to hide my shame. What the fuck had I said to him? Had all my secrets come out? That was the worst I’d been drunk in my life, my thirst for alcohol due to Maddoc and his effect on me, and only small flashes had come back after that day. I couldn’t remember getting in the truck, or getting home. However, I had a faint recollection of being lowered gently to my bed by thick, strong arms.
“There you go,” Maddoc whispered in my ear as he fixed my pillow.
I didn’t know why he was there, but his deep voice whispering to me like that was hot. I grabbed at my top to let the heat escape, but I couldn’t move it.
“I need to get these clothes off of her,” Daria said, tugging at my arms. “She’ll flip out if she sleeps in them.”
“Whoa, let me get out first, Dar,” Maddoc said. “I don’t think Kaia will appreciate me standing here while you remove her clothes.”
“Shit, you’re right.” She stopped trying to lift my arms. “I’m sorry, babe, I almost showed Maddoc the ladies.” Her laugh sounded, making me grumble in annoyance.
“Go away, I wanna sleep,” I groaned, swatting whoever was near me. The solid surface I came into contact with didn’t move at all. “I don’t want to think about Maddoc.”
“Babe, be careful what you say, yeah?” she asked cautiously.
“It’s all good, Dar,” Maddoc said, his voice even more alluring. There was a hint of sadness in his tone, and I tried to open my eyes to see why, but he was already walking away. “Don’t worry about it.”
The bed jiggling had me complaining again.
“Kaia, I need to get these off of you,” Daria said, stripping me out of my clothes as I clumsily helped, then replaced them with goodness knows what.
God, I’d drank far too much, and would never again. I hated feeling out of control, and as the room spun at a million miles per hour, I felt it more than ever.
“Dar?” I asked when she pulled my covers over me.
“Yeah, babe?” she whispered, and stroked my hair.
“Why does he have to be a great dancer?”
Daria chuckled. “He is?”
“You know he is,” I groaned. “It’s not fair.”
There was silence for a short while after Daria left my room, and just as I was submitting to the darkness, I heard a light noise of somebody placing something on my nightstand, and something else next to my bed.
A hand swept the hair from my face, pushing it back over my head, and staying there for a couple of seconds before pulling away.
“Sweet dreams, cupcake.”
I gasped loudly and all eyes turned to me. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!” I whispered in blind panic.
Maddoc chuckled beside me. “What’s up? You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost there, babe.”
I whipped my head to him, my eyes bulging, my face hotter than it had ever been, and turned back to the front, screwing my eyes shut. “Shit.”
“Oh, have you just had a flashback?” Maddoc belly laughed, and Professor McNulty expressed his dislike for the sudden outburst. “I didn’t think this day could get any better, cupcake, but it just has.”
“Go fuck yourself, Maddoc,” I whispered.
“No, thank you,” he replied through his laughter. “That wouldn’t be anywhere near as fun as this right here.”
Maddoc
“Come on, don’t be mad,” I said, placing my hand on Kaia’s slim shoulder and playfully shaking her. The second my palm landed on her, her warmth seeped through the blood-red knitted fabric. “I was just teasing.”
“No,” she ground out, “you weren’t teasing, jerk, you were embarrassing me again.”
I took my hand back from her shoulder when she looked pointedly at it, and I slapped my hand to my chest, noticing how her eyes followed the movement. She averted her gaze once she caught herself staring. “Hey, I was just repeating what I heard—what you told me. If that’s embarrassing for you, then you shouldn’t have said it.”
“I was drunk,” she bit out, glaring at me, the fire in her eyes sexy as fuck.
“People tend to tell the truth when they are,” I countered with a shrug, and Kaia’s face turned scarlet. “It’s like their inner monologue comes flying out of their mouths.” And didn’t I know it. I’d been on the receiving end of a drunken speech more than a few times, but it was anything but funny when the scathing words were aimed at me. When Kaia didn’t say anything, I smirked, and let the last of my statement really hit home. “In all fairness”—I gestured down the length of my body, from my face to my feet—“just because I have pretty eyes, smell like a small fortune, and can dance like Magic Mike, it doesn’t mean you like me.” Although what I’d seen over the weekend said something else entirely, I wasn’t about to out those details; they were mine.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. “Now? Why didn’t you just say something the next day when I took off on you for being there?” Her brows tipped up in the center, the corners of her lips turning down the slightest bit. “Why did you keep your mouth shut when you could’ve easily shamed me in front of Daria and Cash? You could’ve said anything.”
I leaned over, loving how she stiffened when I did and seemed to be holding her breath. “I’m not that much of an asshole, Kaia. You would’ve gotten so much more shit from them than I got from you—I wasn’t about to do that to you.” I straightened but kept my gaze firmly on hers. “We have our secrets, babe.” I winked and shot her my best smile, then stupidly shifted my focus when she pulled her lower lip between her teeth. “And they’re only ours to tell.”
“Thank you.”
I tipped my head to the side. “Why are you thanking me?”
“For not saying anything to Dar.”
I grinned, and rested my arm over the back of her chair. “I’d hold off on thanking me, my frosted cookie. I never said I wouldn’t be repeating them to you at every chance I get.” I batted my lashes, then more-so when I saw the flash of trepidation in her features. “But don’t worry, nobody else will know.” And nobody else would know when I came clean to her. I hadn’t figured it out yet, but when I did, I had to make sure she knew I wasn’t fucking around.
Kaia shot up out of her seat, grabbed her books from the desktop, and shoved them hurriedly into her bag. “For a second, I thought you were actually gonna stop.”
I stood, too, and started collecting my own stuff. “Wait, Kaia, I’m sorry.”
She rounded on me, covered the small distance between us from where she’d begun to walk away. “No, you’re not, Maddoc,” she hissed, her head tipped back so she could look up at me. “You just wanna see me riled, don’t you? Do you get a kick out of it? Some weird satisfaction of knowing you can do it with no effort at all?”
Okay, that hurt, for real, and the sharp dip in my gut had me backing t
he fuck off. I held back the urge to say I enjoyed watching her skin flush, that I liked how her pulse throbbed in her neck when she was frustrated, and when she held back from tearing my fucking head off, it was a glorious sight to behold.
“Maybe,” I admitted finally, and held my palms toward her when she raised her hand, possibly going for a slap. “But, it’s only because it doesn’t mean anything. Do you think I’d do that if I thought it would hurt you?”
“It does,” she whispered, her chin trembling and her eyes glistening with moisture.
My gut damn near dropped out of my ass. “What?” I barely whispered.
“You have no clue about how I feel, Maddoc, about anything. What you might think is a harmless joke, I don’t find funny in the slightest. Did you ever stop to think that what you laugh at might be something so personal that I don’t want it shoved in my face at every opportunity—that you joking about it might actually hurt me?”
“Damn, Kai—”
“It’s not funny, Maddoc. Yes, I might think those things. Yes, I might have said them when I was wasted, but that doesn’t mean it gives you the right to throw it in my face, regardless if nobody else knows.” She took a step backward, and swiped at her face while I shoved my hands in my pockets, feeling like a fucking dick. “It’s not anybody else that it affects, is it? But as long as it amuses you, who cares, right?” She turned around, paused, then faced me again. Her movement was so quick, I didn’t have chance to react. She reached up, snatched the band from my head that I’d worn all the way through class, and then left.
Willow was right. I’m definitely an asshole.
***
“Just make sure she doesn’t go anywhere once she gets back,” I said, scanning the crowd to make sure Anton wasn’t around. “I’ll be over soon.”
