The Forgotten Child

by D. E. White

  Holly’s phone rang and she took the call from Karen.

  ‘Just wanted to let you know that the boy has been released into foster care. The hospital will still need to see him as an outpatient, but he’s doing well.’

  ‘Thanks … Can I still go and see him? Did he say anything yet?’

  She could hear the sigh down the phone. ‘Let him settle in a bit first and then of course you can visit. The more contact he has with his family the better, but foster care is the only answer until we find out what’s happening with his dad.’

  ‘Okay …’ A tiny part of Holly wanted to ask Karen if she knew Harper was the boy’s grandfather, but she shut down on the secret. Now wasn’t the time. She said goodbye and ended the call.

  Stretching her aching limbs, feeling the bolts of tension run through her shoulders, Holly recalled Dev’s offer and suddenly knew exactly what she needed.

  ***

  Dev suggested they have a workout first and then they could talk properly afterwards.

  Holly drove down to Shoey’s, the rundown 1960s gym next to the Seaview. She didn’t have any proper workout gear anymore, so she’d settled for tracksuit bottoms and a tight, cropped T-shirt, wincing at her lack of muscle.

  A few lads crowded out the doors as she went in, but there was no banter. Shoey’s wasn’t some fancy gym with a stage and mums doing yoga. This was a boxing club and martial arts haven, and you only braved the stench of sweat, and the filthy changing rooms if you were serious about your sport.

  Memories came roaring back, taking her by surprise, as she turned right then left to the women’s changing rooms without hesitation. She even went to chuck her bag and coat into the same battered locker on the end of the row.

  So many years had passed since she had practically lived in this place, sparring with the best of them, arguing with Shoey himself. God, she had been an arrogant kid, but a talented one. Then when Larissa was murdered she had run away from everything that reminded her of her old life, turning her back on a good career, and signing up for university instead.

  It had been blind panic and determination to change into someone totally different, someone she herself didn’t recognise, that had led her to the uni course. As it turned out she’d met Tom in her first term and proceeded to screw up the new version of herself too. Funny how life turned out, and here she was, peeling back the layers to find ‘old Holly’.

  Donnie had been proud of her boxing skills, although he was less keen on her choice of men. He liked Dev but saw the Mancinis as pretty far below him and tried to encourage her to see one of the Nicholls boys, or the Balintas. Holly snorted to herself as she tied her laces. The closest she’d ever got to getting physical with any of the Nicholls boys had been here at the gym. There had been a nasty little incident when one of Joey’s nephews, Charlie, had gone down to her in the ring. He’d waited for her late one night after that as she walked back from Dev’s place, grabbing her arms, forcing her back against the wall.

  She’d almost forgotten about it, but now she smiled as she recalled the round kick that had sent him flying. As well as boxing, she’d done a fair bit of martial arts training. Her world had been so different then.

  There was a stained, chipped mirror still up on the end of the lockers and before she went out for her session she looked hard at the woman in the mirror. Black hair scooped up in a high ponytail, green eyes and olive skin, nothing like her fair-skinned, blonde brother, who she had always thought took after Donnie. Had George had blonde hair at some point? She only remembered it as grey … Back to the mirror, blocking out the thoughts. Holly was tall, solid, and there were still muscles, but they were slack from lack of use. She flexed an arm and smiled, feeling blood rush as the anticipation hit.

  ‘Well, look who’s back?’ A man shuffled into the changing rooms, giving scant regard for the fact that this was the women’s area. His face was shrivelled, head bald and shining, but whilst his skin was wrinkled and creped in the folds of his joints, a grubby red vest and black gym shorts showed off a sinewy body and bulging muscles.

  Holly had often thought about coming back here, had wondered how awkward it would be coming face to face with her old mentor, but now the time had arrived there was only one thing to say: ‘Looking good, Shoey.’

  ‘Yes, I know, darling.’ He ran his eyes over her body, professionally assessing. ‘You look like shit. Still, we’ll soon get you ripped again. Get your arse out in that gym. Dev’s been in for an hour already, so don’t be surprised if he knocks you out in the first round.’

  ‘Yeah, whatever. We’re not competing anymore – this is just pad work.’

  He laughed, strange and high-pitched like a hyena. ‘You two was always in competition, darling. It won’t be any different now.’

  She smiled, and as she went past him, he closed a hand on her wrist, bringing her to a gentle halt, his voice a mere breath in her ear. ‘Be careful, darling, something’s going down and you need to watch your back. You’re okay here. Nobody fucks with you in my place but take care of yourself. Especially round Gareth.’

  He released her, patting her back, sending her on her way before she had a chance to reply, and when she looked back at the door he had gone. A shiver of fear slid across her spine, making her hunch her shoulders as though a blast of cold air had taken her by surprise. She had managed not to think about Gareth’s warning most of the day, but his face was often there when she woke at night.

  Dev was in the corner, lifting weights, and she watched him for a moment before walking over.

  ‘So you have you come to work out properly, or did you just come to perv over my fit body?’

  She grinned, despite herself. ‘Get over it, Dev. Listen, I’ve got something to tell you. You want to grab a drink before we start?’ They wandered over to the water fountain, dodging grunting and straining combatants. The stench of sweat, and rubber, the whir and cough of the broken air conditioning unit, and the mats underfoot, all came back in an instant. She felt more at home here than she ever had at university.

  After she’d told him Lydia’s revelation, he bent down and took a gulp, wiping water from his face and neck. ‘So what are you going do now?’

  She took a swig, licking the excess from the corners of her mouth, and wiping her own face with her towel. ‘No idea. You don’t seem that surprised about Jayden?’

  ‘I sort of guessed there was something between him and DI Harper. Harper kept bailing him out, looking out for him. I’m not sure anybody else noticed, but I was with Jay so much … I never would have guessed about your mum though. How do you feel about that?’ Devril ran both hands across his head, then leant down to a rucksack and pulled out an energy drink.

  ‘Weird. I mean, she’s this totally different person to who I thought she was. She was shagging Harper and trying to take down the Nicholls, and none of us ever noticed? Which reminds me. Have you heard anything from Bailey?’

  ‘No. He’s gone a bit quiet, which is a bad sign. He was just about ready to go.’

  Shoey appeared in front of them, treading lightly across the mats with his elastic gait, his expression thunderous. ‘Lazy fuckers, get over there and start warming up. Come on, Holly, I’ll start you off!’ He was grinning now, watery grey eyes alight with mischief and challenge, and Holly felt a lump in her throat. God, she’d missed this. It was like stepping back in time.

  By the time she was on her sixth rep she remembered the muscle burn perfectly. Her breath was coming in gasps and Devril was drawing ahead, the bastard.

  After an hour they got the pads out, and Holly surprised herself. She might be unfit but the muscle memory was there, and Shoey had stopped shaking his head in despair at her lack of fitness.

  After eighty minutes she was dripping with sweat, every single fibre of her body hurt, and she felt great. ‘I’ve had it now, Dev. I need to do some stretches and grab a shower.’

  Shoey drifted off to yell at some women on the mats in the far corner, leaving Holly and Dev to
warm down in silence. Gradually, as she pulled her body through the half-remembered stretches, Holly’s heart rate began to slow and her breathing returned to normal.

  It felt so natural, leaning out over the mat, feeling Dev next to her doing the same, knowing that instead of a gushing hot shower, there would be only a trickle of cold water, and she would have to pick her way around the patches of grime on the floor.

  ‘Do you want to come back to my place for lunch?’ Devril asked now, grabbing his kit bag, shoving his gloves back inside. Holly had left hers behind years ago, and had to suffer the humiliation of borrowing an ancient threadbare pair from Shoey. It made her feel like a beginner again. She resolved to invest in some decent kit as soon as she got paid at the end of the month.

  Before she could answer, Shoey yelled happily across the gym, ‘Showers are fucked again so go home and use your own!’

  ‘Bailey’s left a voicemail. He thinks Joey is onto him.’ All the amusement had faded from Devril’s face, leaving his pale grey eyes blank and worried. ‘Fuck, this is bad. How can Joey know?’

  Lowering her own voice as they went into the corridor, Holly replied in a whisper, ‘I don’t know. What are you going to do?’

  ‘I’ll wait until he makes contact. It’s what we agreed if there was ever any trouble, just in case the Nicholls got hold of his phone. He’s super careful, and I’m stored under some random name, plus he deletes everything as soon as he’s read it.’

  ‘He’s got kids, hasn’t he? And what about his wife?’ Holly felt sweat start again, beading her face, moistening her palms.

  ‘Yeah. Shit.’ He slammed a fist against the wall, and Shoey, always on the lookout for trouble, shot into the corridor, spinning round in fighting stance.

  ‘What’s up with you? Don’t you go trashing my place, Devril Mancini,’ he said aggressively, but his expression was concerned and he lowered his fists. ‘Okay, off you go home! Go and jump in your own showers.’

  ‘What now?’ Dev asked, as they walked towards the changing rooms, dodging a group of sweaty lads.

  ‘I’m going to talk to Niko again.’

  ‘Not by yourself, you aren’t.’

  ‘He’s not going to hurt me. He’s as curious as the rest of us about Jayden’s son, and he’s after the fifty grand he says Jayden owes him.’

  ‘Fifty? Since when?’

  ‘He says Jay took all the money out of his secret account or something. Reckons it was stashed away ready for his release, and now it’s all gone. That’s the only reason Gareth is so interested in him and when he finds out Niko is as broke as the rest of us, and getting cosy with Donnie …’ She left the threat open-ended, but Dev nodded in agreement.

  He pushed a shoulder to the door, pausing to look down at Holly. ‘True. The Nicholls won’t even spit on him when they find out he’s got no cash to bring into the business.’

  ‘Yeah, which is driving him crazy.’ Holly couldn’t help a quick grin. ‘But seriously, I want to talk to him. He was shitting himself when I mentioned he would be on Jayden’s hit list for sure. I don’t think it had occurred to him.’

  ‘You think Niko’s next in line?’ Devril was sceptical. ‘Maybe he’s done Roman and Alexi and that was it.’

  ‘No, he would want to get Niko too. Without him sending his idiot brothers over, Larissa and her baby would still be alive.’

  ‘Point taken. But his other kid is still in hospital. When he’s finished and got revenge or whatever, he won’t leave without his kid, Larissa’s kid, surely?’

  ‘Yeah, I thought that too. But if Jayden doesn’t – or can’t – come back for his boy, then I’ll fight to adopt him or something. He’s just a kid and I feel like I owe Larissa. But I need to sort out this shit with my ex first – it’s driving me crazy. I’ve got to run and pick Milo up, but I’ll call you.’

  He was pushing his way into the changing room. ‘Sure. Call me anytime.’ Dev flung the words over his shoulder, and the door banged.

  She felt herself blushing. Crazy. There was no way she was going to get involved with Devril Mancini again.

  ***

  Holly picked Milo up from school, cheering him up with the news that they could go to the hospital for a check on the twenty-ninth, and if all was well, his cast could come off in two weeks’ time.

  He didn’t seem as pleased as she had expected. ‘Are you all right? Did you have a bad day?’

  He shrugged in the back seat, looking out of the window, so she waited until they were home, and she was taking his empty lunchbox out of his bag. ‘What’s up, Milo?’ Holly dumped the water bottle on the countertop, walked over to the sofa and pulled him close, but he wriggled away, eyes downcast.

  ‘We did this thing at school today.’

  ‘Mmmm.’

  ‘A man came in to talk about drugs and how we didn’t have to take them if we didn’t want to, even though lots of people on the Seaview do.’

  ‘Okay.’ She really couldn’t see where this was headed so she just let him talk.

  ‘You know I said about having a secret a while ago?’

  Holly cast her mind back. ‘I do. But wasn’t that about the man in car?’

  He shook his head.

  ‘You can tell me anything, sweetie, you know that.’

  ‘Dad said I wasn’t to tell you.’ The words came out in a rush, and he looked up, big green eyes filled with tears. ‘He said not to tell you, and if I kept his secret I could have a new toy every month.’

  Holly’s heart was thumping so hard her chest seemed about to explode, and blood seemed to be filling her brain. ‘Dad said that? It’s okay. You can tell me …’

  ‘I wouldn’t have told, but when I went to stay with him, you know, last month? When Beth was out visiting her friends, he put a film on. It was the new Star Wars, and it was great.’

  ‘I’m sure, but what upset you?’

  ‘I was watching the film with a bag of sweets, and I heard Dad’s mobile ringing, but I couldn’t find him, or the phone, so I followed the noise up to his office.’

  Tom had converted a large spare room in his new place into a palatial office, stocked with every electronic gadget known to man. Holly had only seen it once, when she dropped Milo off and Beth had insisted on showing her around ‘their’ new house.

  ‘He was doing the same as last time … He was snuffling up white powder. It went up his nose.’ Milo sounded a little puzzled. ‘Last time he saw me and he said it was an adult’s thing, and that it was a secret.’

  ‘But you knew it was wrong.’ Holly was so angry she wanted to march straight round and batter her ex-husband senseless.

  ‘Yes. He didn’t see me this time, and he was so angry last time, before he said about keeping the secret, so I just snuck away, and went back to the film.’

  Holly pulled him close. ‘You did the right thing telling me.’ She felt a terrible thud of darkness, of guilt. She had caught him at a party once, when she was heavily pregnant, snorting cocaine, and he had promised it was a one-off. A part of her was even relieved that she had a secret to keep for him, a confidence in return for what she’d told him. ‘A one-time thing’, he’d called it and she had never caught him again, and had chosen to believe him, despite having had a pathological liar and addict for a brother.

  How could she have been so stupid? How could Tom still be doing coke? And while he was meant to be looking after Milo. That was the worst thing. He was supposed to be looking after their child and he was doing a line in the next room! She had kept his secret as he had kept hers. But now, all bets were off.

  Chapter 25

  Holly rang Cathryn as soon as Milo had gone to bed and she was sure he was fast asleep.

  She ran through everything Milo had said, but Cathryn, although she agreed Tom was a fucking wanker, seemed distracted. ‘Sorry, Cath, have you got someone round?’

  ‘Yeah. Look, don’t do anything yet, okay? You need to work out whether to go and have it out with him and tell the bitch girlfriend, or jus
t go straight to the police or hell, even that cow from Social Services. She nailed it when Liam was giving me trouble. I’ve got her number somewhere. Don’t do anything until tomorrow, okay?’

  Holly went straight to the fridge and poured a large glass of wine. She hoped Cathryn wasn’t getting back with Liam. She was sure she’d heard a man’s voice in the background and her friend had been dead keen to get her off the phone, so it wasn’t a family visit.

  Despite flicking on the TV and scrolling through social media, Holly couldn’t settle. She was actually shivering with rage, and guilt. How could she have let this happen? Tom had always been able to argue his way out of anything. He had managed to convince her that for him, the drug use was a novelty, a fun way to pep up a party.

  Of course she had told him exactly why drugs ruin lives, had cited the dealers and addicts she had known since childhood, had explained about the Nicholls, her father and the rest. But she had been heavily pregnant, clinging to a relationship, to a marriage that she thought would change her for the better. And so she had forgiven him and he had laughed, telling her that now they knew each other’s dirty little secrets.

  Her phone rang halfway through a rerun of CSI, but when Lydia’s number came up, she ignored it. She couldn’t trust herself not to blurt out what had just happened, and her aunt had enough to cope with at the moment.

  Milo was slightly subdued the next morning, but she reiterated that he had been very brave to tell her, and there was no way he would get into trouble for it. Poor kid, carrying this around for weeks, and putting up with the aftermath of the accident. Every time Holly thought about it, it felt like a kick in the gut. Regret and stupidity would do nothing now though. Action was needed.