Walking the Crimson Road

by Perrie Patterson

  “What are you writing your article on?” Lane asks, setting his bag down.

  “I think I’m going to take a poll on Netflix binge watching. Is it good or bad? Once I have all the interviews, it’s a matter of writing the article and laying out pages and photos. I can do that while on break if I don’t finish before I leave.”

  Professor Brigg walks in, and class begins. He lets us know to be on the lookout for an email next Monday as to whether class next Tuesday will be cut. After class, Lane and I walk up the stairs together.

  Standing outside the lecture hall, he takes my hand, kisses it, and says, “I’ll be at the game tonight thinking about you.”

  Grinning back at him, I say, “Thank you, I appreciate that.”

  He gives me a wide smile as he leaves for the opposite side of campus. I walk on to my boring math class, but math doesn’t get me down. Tuesday has become my favorite day of the week.

  I finish classes for the day and arrive back at Phi Mu in time for lunch. I set my bag near the stairs and walk into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. I see Lexi eating lunch, so I sit next to her.

  “Hey, Lexi,” I say, setting my tray down.

  “Hey, how’s it going? Ready for the game tonight? I hear a lot of people are coming. Bella and I, of course, I think Cat and some of the softball team are coming. Ryan and some of the other baseball players will be there, too.”

  “Fun,” I say, biting into a chip.

  “Yeah, we’re going to have a big cheering section for you during your halftime performance tonight.” She laughs, and in a playful voice says, “I bet Grant and some of his Chi Phi brothers or swim team friends will be there.”

  “Yeah. I think Lane will be there, too. He told me this morning in class.”

  “Oh, wow, big cheering section, for sure.”

  “It’s a big game against Duke. It’s not really me they’re coming to see.”

  “Ha. Oh, it’s definitely you some of them will be there to see.”

  Finishing the last bite of my soup, I turn to Lexi. “See ya tonight. I’ve gotta get ready for pre-game fan-fare.”

  Bella, Lexi and Cat are waiting for me after the game. Since we played Duke it was a loss but fun to watch, especially when our forward dunked on Duke’s point guard.

  Bella says, “Cat and Ryan left for Heat Pizza to save tables. We’re going to meet everyone there.”

  As we’re walking to the car, we see Jack and Patrick, and notice a few more DKE’s in the parking lot. And I see Lane. He’s walking with that same girl I saw him with several weeks ago at Innisfree. They don’t really look together, and they’re with a larger group of people, so I guess I shouldn’t think anything of it. Bella and Lexi wave to Jack and Patrick, which causes Lane to notice, and he waves back at us.

  “Oh, my gosh guys, did you see that?” I ask.

  “Yes, we finally got to see Lane in person. He is very attractive,” Lexi says.

  Bella smirks. “Yeah, but it’s also dark out here.”

  “Really, Bella? Always the sceptic?” I say, giving her a shove.

  Heat Pizza is hopping. Grant has saved me a seat next to him. We order five pizzas to share and enjoy a very casual fun evening together. Everyone is having a great time, and I’m enjoying being with my friends and Grant.

  Grant asks, “Do you want to go to the Young Life event tomorrow night?”

  I nod since I have pizza in my mouth. “Yes, I’ve made plans to go with Bella and Lexi.”

  “Great, I’ll see you there.” He smiles and brushes his hand across my knee under the table.

  I give Grant a hug and kiss on the cheek as we say goodnight in the parking lot. I’m hoping he doesn’t think anything about me just giving him a hug and a peck on the cheek. After all, we’re in a parking lot with a lot of people around, so maybe he thinks that I’m being shy, polite, or very lady-like. In the back of my mind, I know I have to talk to him tomorrow. On the way home, I explain my plans to Bella and Lexi.

  “I’m planning on talking with Grant alone at some point tomorrow during Young Life.”

  Lexi says, “I’m praying for the best for you in that situation.”

  Bella chimes in, “I understand that’s what you need to do, and after talking to Grant you’ll feel a lot better.”

  “I’m sure I will,” I say, although I don’t feel certain about anything just yet.

  19

  #TBH

  Bella, Lexi and I walk into Young Life as a worship band is playing a familiar song from North Point ministries. We sang this a lot on Sunday evenings during my high school worship services. It has beautiful lyrics. Everyone is worshiping and singing along, so I join in singing softly and feel emotional at the touching truthfulness of the words from the song.

  Oh, your grace so free, washes over me, you have made me

  new, now life begins with you. It’s your endless love pouring

  down on us, you have made us new, now life begins with you.

  By the second verse I have tears running down my cheeks, but I continue singing, worshiping and praising.

  Ash was redeemed only beauty remains, my orphan heart

  was given a name. My mourning grew quiet, my feet rose to

  dance when death was arrested, and my life began.

  Free, Free forever we’re free. When death was arrested and my life

  began.

  I needed this uplifting tonight. I know being honest with Grant about my true feelings is the right thing to do, but I feel sick. After the worship band finishes, the leader for Young Life speaks for a few minutes. The talk is about loving God, living differently, and leading the way for others to follow. Reminding us to keep up a strong streak with God, with a Snap Chat reference, that brings a crowd of laughter. The ending statement he leaves us with is that God is our strength and our foundation.

  We break into small groups for discussion questions and prayer requests. The high school students each have a college group leader they’re paired with. I follow Cat and Lexi, who volunteer together. They lead a group of high school girls from Tuscaloosa Academy. We gather in a circle, and Lexi opens with a short prayer. I pray a silent prayer for myself to make good choices. It’s hard to know if you’re on the right path. Sometimes knowing which road to take or which road will lead you to happiness or a positive future is almost like a guessing game. I suppose that’s why we need to be reminded to keep a strong streak going with God and know he’s our rock and foundation when we have an unsure path or a hard decision to make. I’m feeling this struggle tonight with my decision about Grant.

  After our groups break, we have a few minutes of social time. Some people wander into the game room to play pool or ping-pong. The high school students cluster together with animated conversations and selfie taking. I tell Lexi and Bella that I’m going to find Grant and ask them to wait for me. Bella squeezes my hand. I see Grant with his group. They’re just breaking up from their small group session, so I walk over. He notices me and smiles. I ask if we can go somewhere to talk. We walk into the next room and find a quiet corner.

  I’m nervous as I begin, “I’ve been thinking about what to say for weeks. I really like you a lot. I feel I need to be totally honest with you. This is hard for me to say, but I have strong feelings for a guy in my creative writing class. His name is Lane, and I met him on the first day of class, and we’ve recently told each other we like each other.”

  Grant’s expression changes and he reaches for my hand and puts his hand on top of mine.

  I’m starting to sniffle but continue, “I feel like I haven’t been fair to you the past few weeks. I have confused feelings for you, but I care about you. I like you a lot. Recently, I’ve come to the decision that I have stronger feelings for this guy in my class, and these strong feelings grew when I found out he had feelings for me, too. I felt I needed to say something to you about it.”

  I am crying now and Grant wipes a tear from my cheek, but I keep talking.

  “I’m so
sorry, I don’t want to hurt you in anyway. I feel so bad, but I know I need to tell you the truth.”

  Grant looks mournful and says, “I am glad you told me. I have strong feelings for you, Bex. I was hoping you felt the same way about me.”

  “I’ve been confused and unsure of what to do. But I know I have to be upfront about what’s happening, and I’ve been thinking about what to say and when to say it for several days. I wanted to be able to talk to you about it in person. I am still confused about my feelings, but because I have stronger feelings for someone else, I just don’t think we should continue to see each other. I want to be fair to you.”

  I’m still crying, and Grant looks teary, too. I reach over and give him a hug.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whisper.

  “I care about you, Bex, I’ll always think you’re a great girl. I’m glad you were honest with me.”

  I stand, tell him bye and to have a good Thanksgiving. I walk into the game room, find Lexi and Bella, and ask if we can leave.

  On the way back to the house, through my tears I tell them everything I said to Grant.

  “How did he take it?” Lexi asks.

  “He was sad. We both were. He was understanding. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, but I feel a weight has lifted off my shoulders knowing I was honest with him about my feelings.”

  “Bex, you did the right thing by being honest. I hope you made the right choice and things work out for you and Lane,” Bella says, glancing in my direction as she drives.

  When we get back to the house, I pass out a few of my Netflix poll questionnaires for the magazine article. I text Cat about my article and ask if I can get a few Tri Delts to take the poll. I tell her I’ll meet up with her in the next few days. I also need to pass a few out in class tomorrow. I think I have about twenty done, so far, and I want to get at least forty more.

  Bella and I head up to our room. She changes into her Pj’s and sets the alarm on her phone then puts it on her side table and turns off the lamp and says, “You doin’ okay?”

  “I’m feeling better,” I say, as I crawl under the covers.

  “I know you did the right thing being honest with Grant. I want you to know I support your choice, because you’re my friend and I want you to be happy.”

  I look over at Bella in the dark. I can barely make out her face, but I know she’s looking at me. “I’m going with my gut, and I don’t want to hold back. Lane makes me feel alive, and beautiful, and he’s very attentive to me. Not that other guys weren’t in the past. There’s just a feeling that I get when I’m around him like an electric charge. I’m drawn to him. I don’t know why, but I think he’s the sexiest, the hottest, and the coolest guy I’ve ever met in my life.”

  “Bex, girl, I know you’ve got it bad.”

  20

  #Zaddy

  ESPN is set up on campus this morning for the Iron Bowl. Lexi and Bella leave early to play for the pep rally on the quad. The game is at 2:00, and the campus is electric with reporters and camera crews filming “Game Day” live from our campus. I’m feeling lazy this morning and glad I didn’t have to wake up as early as Bella and Lexi did for the festivities.

  We have plans with my parents and Bella’s family for dinner after the game. I texted Mom yesterday and told her I was planning on sleeping in this morning but would come to their tent to have lunch with them. I’m thinking about getting out of bed when my phone dings a text. Thinking it’s probably Mom, I casually glance at it. The caller ID says Lane, my stomach does a flip.

  I’d love it if u could sit with me at the game today.

  I can. I talked with Grant a few nights ago about how I was really feeling, and I told him the truth. My fingers shake nervously as I type out the text.

  How did that go?

  As good as can be expected.

  It makes me happy u told him, I’m hopeful u feel better.

  I feel less confused for sure. I’m thrilled u texted me.

  Can I pick u up?

  I’m meeting my parents at their tent for lunch. I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to bring u to meet them just yet. They just met Grant a few weeks ago.

  I understand. I’ll meet u in the stadium. See u soon.

  After lunch with my parents, I remind them to come to the house after the game so we can drive to dinner together.

  Mom asks, “Where should we go tonight?”

  “One of the restaurants near the river close to the Amphitheater will be nice. I’ll see you guys after the game.”

  I put on my black pea coat and button the top button. I stick my Ray-Bans in my coat pocket and hurry across the street into the stadium to the loud roar of a hundred thousand fans as I make my way to the student section.

  I pick up a few shakers and stuff them down the side of one of my black boots and walk up the ramp. As I walk into the bright sunlight, I scan the student section for the DKE’s and pick Lane out in the crowd easy. As I make my way over, he notices me, smiles and reaches for my hand. He pulls me into his arms, kissing me softly then whispers into my neck, “You take my breath away.”

  I breathe in his scent and feel as if I’m high in the clouds suspended in time. My stomach has monster butterflies. He takes my hand and kisses it. The stadium explodes into Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd. The student section erupts in singing along and shaking our red and white pom shakers to the beat. All you can see is red and white moving in unison, all but the section of orange and blue Auburn fans.

  Lane has a monogramed flask of whisky in his coat pocket and pours a little into a cup of Coke. He offers me a sip. I’m not fond of whiskey or scotch or whatever it is, but I take a sip and it warms me up. A feeling of calmness washes over me. I’m glad the game is in the middle of the afternoon. It’s a beautiful late November day with the sun bright and warm on our shoulders.

  At halftime we’re beating Auburn by seven points, so it is anyone’s game, and the stands are full of cheering fans. As the band performs their impressive halftime show, I point Bella out in the trumpet section. I tell Lane that my other sorority sister Lexi plays the flute. I remind him that they’re friends with his fraternity brothers Jack and Patrick. As the band makes their way back to their section to the right of where we’re sitting, I stand and wave to Bella. She sees me and waves back. The sun is low in the sky and will be setting a crimson sunset soon. As the sun gets lower, it’s in our eyes for a moment so Lane pulls his Wayfarer sunglasses out of his coat pocket and puts them on. I search my coat for my Ray-Bans. When I put them on, I glance at Lane. He looks like he just walked off a movie set, and it makes my heart skip a beat. He turns and kisses me on the cheek and nuzzles my neck.

  With a sly grin he says, “Can I take you to dinner after the game?”

  I frown, disappointed. “My parents and Bella’s parents have plans to get together. Maybe we can see each other a little later this evening?”

  He gives me a big smile and kisses my hand he’s holding.

  The third quarter begins, and Auburn has the ball. They score a touchdown, and we hope to block their extra point. We don’t, now we have a tied game. We get the ball back, and our QB sets up for a pass. He throws downfield and lands it right into the receivers’ hands, a perfect catch. He breaks a tackle and keeps running. He runs all the way and scores. Whoo Hooo! Roll Tide! We make the extra point, and we’re up 21-14. The fourth quarter approaches and we kick off to Auburn with a roaring Roll Tide. Auburn moves the ball down the field on the next play, they get to 4th down at the 30 and decide to kick a 47- yard field goal. They miss, and we get the ball back. The stadium erupts in singing Dixieland Delight----the student version, of course. We score again and beat Auburn 28-14.

  In Alabama, this rivalry against Auburn is huge. We don’t feel we need to tear down goal posts, rush the field or roll toilet paper in trees. We win, and we win big. We’re grateful for our traditions and our fans. We believe in playing with grace, class, blood, sweat and tears, things p
assed down from Bear Bryant about winners never quitting and quitters never winning. Hard work and determination win games. Attitude, passion and teamwork prevail. We believe in our team, our commitments and our goals. Winning is a fact of life at Alabama; it’s just what we do. As the final seconds tick off the clock, the student section leads the stadium in our final chant and cheer of the night… “Hey, Tigers! We just beat the hell outta you! Rama Jamma Yella Hammer, Give’em hell, Alabama!”

  The sun setting behind the stadium washes the sky in a gorgeous shade of crimson. Lane and I follow the brick paths over to Phi Mu. He kisses me and tells me bye, but we’re still holding hands, not letting go, so we kiss a little more. Short sweet kisses that long for more. In between those kisses he whispers, “I miss you already.”

  “I miss you more.”

  One more kiss and we stretch our arms out, fingers barely touching, finally letting go. I watch as he walks away.

  Making my way into the living room, I see Mom, Dad, Bella’s parents and her younger brother Cade enjoying each other’s company. I ask if Bella is back, but just as I say that, she and Lexi walk through the front door. They walk over to us, still in their band uniforms, and we talk about where we’d like to go for dinner. I ask if Lexi wants to go, too, but she says she has plans with her parents and grandparents tonight. Bella and Lexi run up to the room to change into something more comfortable. I hang back with the parents and introduce everyone to Lexi’s family while we wait.

  During dinner it’s hard for me to keep from smiling. I’m thinking about Lane and how happy I am that I got to spend the day with him. My parents ask me about Grant, and if he’s already left for Thanksgiving.

  “I believe he’s leaving in the morning to go home to South Carolina for the rest of the week.” Fortunately, they don’t ask anything more.

  Bella’s parents are funny. We spend a lot of the evening laughing at their stories. They invite us to come to their home in Louisiana and enjoy the French Quarter and maybe even come during Mardi Gras. Alabama may end up in the National Championship game in the Super Dome New Year’s Day. It would be perfect for us to go then. Bella’s parents offer to make plans for us to stay at their home before the big game.