Walking the Crimson Road

by Perrie Patterson

  “Look who’s finally awake, New York Girl. I love the necklace you got me. Thank you for that,” she says, smiling at me.

  Sitting up in bed, I yawn and stretch my arms over my head. “I’m glad you like it. I didn’t want to get you anything that was too touristy.”

  Bella laughs. “Like a foam Statue of Liberty crown?”

  I nod and smile. “Yep, exactly.”

  “Tell me all about New York, and don’t leave any details out.”

  I lean my head back against the wall remembering every detail.

  “First, when we were on our way to our hotel, Mom pulls out tickets to Hamilton, the hottest show on Broadway, next to impossible to get tickets for.”

  “How did she get them?”

  “Lane sent them in the mail.”

  Bella’s eyes are like saucers.

  “Yeah, I know, right? anyway, I texted him thank you a few times. So, we’ve technically talked a little, I guess you could say.”

  “I guess that’s good?” Bella looks concerned.

  “Well, it depends. I’m trying to get over him and move on, but I can’t.”

  I finish telling Bella about the New York trip then go online and look up assignments for the week and notice that Professor Brigg posted an announcement stating we can work on the assignment on our own and don’t have to come to class on Tuesday.

  I let out a loud “Yipee!” startling Bella. “Good news, girl, some good news, I’ll be sleeping in tomorrow.” I say, closing my computer.

  By Friday afternoon, I’m re-packing my bag. Bella and I are heading to Atlanta for Easter weekend. This will be her first time in Atlanta, so we plan to do all of my favorite things. We start on Saturday morning with the World of Coke, then go to the Aquarium, followed by the SEC Hall of Fame museum, all within walking distance of each other. We end the night at Krog Street Market, and we’re back home by midnight.

  “That was the most fun day I’ve had in a long time,” Bella says, falling back on my bed.

  “Me, too. I’m so glad you got to come with me this weekend. This is what I’m wearing tomorrow.” I pull out a new sundress I bought recently and show it to Bella.

  “Our church is really casual. I think you’ll like it. But it will be major crowded tomorrow, so we’re planning to leave thirty minutes earlier than we usually do.”

  I hear Lauren walk in from her date. I open my door, watching for her to walk past. “You’re getting home a bit late, aren’t you?”

  “At least I have a boyfriend.” Her tone reeks with sarcasm.

  As she walks into her room, I notice the dog following behind her. “Wow, she’s a grump tonight. But the dog is going with her, anyway. That makes me a little sad. Micky always used sleep on my bed.”

  “I wonder why Lauren is acting like that.” Bella comments.

  “I don’t know. She may think I’ve given Lane a raw deal. She thought I had the perfect set up, the perfect life, and I think she wanted things to work out between Lane and me. I’ll talk to her later.

  The next morning we’re up early for Easter. Mom cooks a fabulous breakfast and we enjoy the church service then brunch at Mom’s favorite restaurant in Milton. Bella keeps mentioning how shocked she was seeing so many thousands of people at one service. Now that we’re back at home, I want to find Lauren and ask if there’s anything bothering her. Although she seems totally fine now. It was obvious last night she was angry. I walk across the hall to her room and knock on her door.

  “Come in,” she says.

  Walking in, I say, “Hey there, I just wanted to talk to you for a few minutes before I have to leave again. Are you okay? I’m worried you’re mad at me. You seemed angry last night.”

  “Oh, that, I’m sorry, Bex. It wasn’t really meant for you. I’m mad at Brian. He’s talking about breaking up since we may be going to different colleges. He needs to decide if he’s going to Auburn or UGA, and I need to decide if I’m going to Alabama or UGA. I think he feels like our relationship is complicating his decision. And we had a fight.”

  “Have you decided which one?

  “I’m leaning more toward UGA, simply because it’s closer to home and I want my own identity. I thought I wanted to be at the same college as you, because your life there is so amazing. I realize I need to decide for myself what I’d prefer. I’m trying not to tell Brian my decision, because I want him to make his own choice. Since I wouldn’t tell him last night, he got mad. But I didn’t want my decision to change his mind and vice versa.”

  “Okay, well, I’m going to say with conviction, honesty is the best policy. I know I need to talk to Mom and Dad about a lot of things. You may think I’m the last person who should be talking to you about honesty after lying to Mom and Dad about spring break.”

  “I appreciate you talking to me about this. I’m going to call Brian today and tell him my college choice and let him know that it has nothing to do with where he wants to go. Either way, I’ll still care about him.” Lauren looks at me seriously, “What have you decided about Lane?”

  “I haven’t decided anything yet. I’ve tried to get over him, and I guess I think avoiding him all together will allow me to do that and move on. If I don’t see him, don’t talk to him, I’ll eventually get through it. Again, you can see why it’s so important to be honest with each other,” I say with a frown.

  “I don’t know, Bex. I’m not convinced you should get over him,” Lauren says with a knowing look.

  “I don’t really know what to do, and I want to talk to Mom about it, and if I do that, I’ll have to confess that I lied about where I went for spring break.”

  “I know you think you can push this aside and get through the last few weeks of school without dealing with it, but I don’t think you can. I think you need to talk to Mom and go ahead and get this all off your chest.”

  “You’re right, everyone has been telling me to talk to Lane and give him a second chance, but all I’ve wanted to do is talk to Mom, but I’m so scared of what she and Dad will think. But I’m going to. I’m going to find her now and tell her before Bella and I leave. Thanks, Lauren. You, know you’re a lot smarter than you think.”

  “Well, I’ve had the perfect big sister showing me the way for years.”

  I lean in and hug Lauren tight. When we pull apart, we both have tears in our eyes. I wipe the corners of my eyes with the sleeve of my shirt. I stand and give her another quick hug before popping my head into my room to see what Bella’s up to.

  “Hey, Bella, I’m going to talk to my Mom for a few minutes. After that we can head out, okay?”

  “Sure, I’ll be ready when you are. I’m about to call my Mom and tell her happy Easter.”

  I walk downstairs in search of Mom and find her in the kitchen putting cookies into a to-go container for us to take with us when we leave.

  “Hey, Mom, can I talk to you somewhere private for a few minutes?”

  She sets the cookies down and says, “Of course, honey, let’s go to my room. Dad’s in the garage looking at your oil and checking your tires.”

  Mom shuts the door and sits on the bed and pats the spot next to her for me to sit. I sit down and face her and start to cry. She holds me for a while before I lift my head.

  “Rebecca,” she says, wrapping an arm around me. “Sweetie, talk to me.”

  I take a deep breath. “I’ve done something that I thought was going to be okay. I thought I needed to grow up and be on my own and do things my own way and live my life without being so cautious about everything. And when I met Lane, I couldn’t help how I felt about him. I love him, Mom. I really do, but I lied to you guys and went with him on his private plane to his family’s vacation home in Cape Cod over spring break.” I bite my lip.

  “His whole family was there even his niece and nephew. I had my own room and bath, so it wasn’t like we shared a room or a bed or anything. But I felt I couldn’t ask permission because I was afraid you guys would say no. He really wanted me to meet his family, an
d they’re great. In fact, they may be too great.” I pause and wring my hands.

  “The last day there, I stepped into their library, finding family photos, of the Kennedy legacy. He’s the grandson of a famous Kennedy and he had kept that secret from me. He told me he was trying to tell me while we were there but kept chickening out because he was afraid of how I would look at him and it might change our relationship and how I felt, and it scared him.” Mom rubs my back gently and pushes a strand of loose hair behind my ear.

  “But because he lied, I felt betrayed and hurt, and I wanted to forget him and go back to the way things were with Grant. He was safe and uncomplicated. Bella and Lexi introduced us because they thought he was perfect for me. But I wanted more and with Lane he was larger than life, I was drawn to him. He wants to work things out with me, and he’s waiting for me to come to him when I’m ready to talk. He waited for me when I was deciding between him and Grant. And Mom, there’s one more thing.”

  “It’s okay, you can tell me. I’m not going to be upset with you. I’m glad you’ve come to talk to me about this.”

  “Ok, well, we went out on his sailboat, and we were alone down in the cabin room after he anchored the boat. Things got very physical, but I stopped. I told him that I wasn’t ready, and that I’d planned to wait until marriage to have sex. He was gentle and sweet, and told me that that was one of the reasons he fell in love with me because I was so different from the other girls he’d dated. He told me he thought it was a good choice. He apologized and told me he hadn’t planned on anything happening, and he just got carried away.”

  “Please don’t tell Dad any of this. The lie has been a burden on me and when I found out that Lane lied to me and wasn’t a hundred percent honest, I just wanted out. I wanted my life to go back to the way it was. I wanted to forget I’d ever met him. I felt really stupid.” I roll my eyes and wipe them with my back of my hand. Mom gets up and goes to the dresser to get a box of Kleenex. She hands it to me. I blow my nose before continuing.

  “I’m worried about what his parents will think about my story when they read it in The New Yorker. I don’t want them to think I wrote it because of who Lane is, and I don’t want them thinking the reason I dated him was because he’s from a famous family. I’ve been running from a lot of feelings and assumptions. I’m glad I finally got the courage to talk to you.”

  I look into mom’s eyes. She has a huge smile on her face.

  “Whew, Rebecca that’s a doozie. I’m so glad you came to talk to me before you left to go back to school with all of this weighing you down. I understand why you thought you had to lie to us, but you shouldn’t have. If you had come to us first and explained why you were going to Cape Cod, what the plans were and the sleeping arrangements, your Dad and I would have been receptive to allowing you to go. You never know until you ask.” She smiles then takes my hand in hers.

  “You’re nineteen and in a few months, you’ll be twenty. You’ve been on your own away from us living your life, doing your thing at college for two years making us proud of you. We love who you’ve become. You’ve grown into a woman with a good head on her shoulders. I think you can make choices that you think are best for yourself then when you need to, come to me or to Dad whenever you have questions or doubts or need advice. We’re here, and we’ll always be here. I won’t tell Dad any of this if you don’t want me to, it can stay between us. But you need to talk to Lane and figure out what you really want.”

  She pauses and puts her hands on either side of my face, pulling me close to her, looking me straight in the eye.

  “You choose what you want. You are so smart, Rebecca. Trust your heart.”

  Just then Dad walks into the room wiping his hands on a towel. He looks at us and asks, “Oh, was I interrupting something?”

  “No, Dad. Mom and I were just chatting, girl stuff, nothing you’d be interested in.”

  He laughs. “Okay, hon, your oil looks good, and I checked your tire pressure, everything is A-ok, and I filled up the tank for you.”

  I walk over and give Dad a hug, and Mom joins in kissing me on the top of the head.

  “I guess Bella and I will head back now.” I say, pulling out from the group hug.

  50

  #GUCCI

  On Monday, life seems better, and my head seems clearer. My talk yesterday with Mom gave me some clarity, so I feel a huge weight lifted, and I can breathe again. The late April sun is out, bright and shining. All over campus, spring is in the air. People are sitting out on the quad, and everyone is talking about going to the cliffs on Lake Tuscaloosa to hang out. I’m working on an assignment on my computer at my desk when Bella walks in.

  “Hey, are you going to the cliffs with us this afternoon?” she asks.

  “I can’t today, maybe later in the week. I’ve got to turn in my assignment for my journalism class before 9:00 tomorrow. I’m also meeting with my advisor today to go over my internship package and all my classes for next year. She’s pushing me to double major—— journalism and creative media with a minor in Spanish. The other thing I’m planning to do today is get my application turned in for working at the Young Life camp this summer with you guys.”

  Bella’s face lights up. She hugs me and says, “I’m so glad we get to spend the summer together. It’ll be so much fun. Which area are you going to say you’ll work in?”

  “I’m going to select journaling and lead one of the book study sessions.”

  “That sounds perfect.”

  “Yeah, one of the books they list is I Choose the Sky by Emily Wilson. I’ve been wanting to read that anyway.”

  “I’ll see you later, Bex.” Bella grabs her towel and a drink, leaving me to finish my work. Hopefully, I’ll be able to enjoy lake time later this week.

  I finish my assignment and submit it. As I’m gathering my things for my appointment with my advisor, there’s a knock on my door. Opening it, I find someone standing on the other side, holding the largest bouquet of flowers I’ve ever seen. I set them on my desk where’s there’s barely enough room for them. My large bouquets of dead roses have been retired to the upper shelf of my closet. I haven’t been able to bear parting with those, even though they’re dead. It’s nice to have a beautiful, fresh, fragrant arrangement. I open the card, already knowing who they’re from.

  Bex, I miss you greatly. I wish I could talk to you one last time.

  Love, Lane

  As I walk out the door to go to my meeting, I send Lane a text.

  The flowers are beautiful. I love them. I agree we should talk, and I know I’ve been putting it off. Maybe later this week?

  His text back is quick. See u later.

  When I walk into the house after my meeting, Amanda greets me in the foyer.

  “Pack a bag.” she tells me.

  “What? Why?” I look at her weirdly.

  “Pack an overnight bag. You’re coming with me.”

  “Coming with you where?” I ask, with an almost hostile tone.

  “A special end-of-the year party.”

  “What special end-of-the-year party?”

  “Bex, just be ready to leave in thirty minutes and don’t ask so many questions.”

  I grab a small Vera Bradley duffle and throw a couple of changes of clothes and shoes inside.

  Bella walks in, looking a little sunburnt and asks, “Where are you heading off to?”

  “Amanda said something about a special end-of-the-year party.”

  “I thought your Crimson Cabaret party was on Sunday night?”

  “It is. This is something else. I’m not even sure what it is,” I say quietly. “I’ll be back sometime tomorrow, I think, in time to go to Cat’s softball game. I only have one class tomorrow, which is good. I won’t miss much. And I finished my assignment and submitted it. Good thing I didn’t go to the lake today,” I say, feeling encouraged.

  “Okay. Be safe and have fun with whatever it is.”

  I wave bye to Bella and walk downstairs to find
Amanda waiting for me in the foyer. We walk outside and see a stretch limo waiting for us. Inside are six more girls, and now I realize this special end-of-the-year party has “secret society” written all over it. There are small white gift boxes tied with crimson colored ribbons for each of us.

  The ride takes about three hours, and we have a total dance party in the limo on the way down. We’ve been playing our favorite songs and drinking champagne along the way. When we pull up to the house, it looks like it’s as big as Lane’s vacation home in Cape Cod. It’s enormous. I ask where we are.

  “Mobile Bay in Fairhope. Nick’s parents left for Europe today,” Haley says, bouncing up the front stairs.

  We grab our bags and walk inside. The home is beautiful but furnished very comfortably. Walking toward the back of the house, we hear loud music and what I think may be a gunshot. Following the girls out onto the screened porch, I notice the beautiful lagoon-style pool. I’m wishing I had brought a swimsuit. Hopefully someone brought an extra. I bet Amanda did. We walk past the pool to a beach path that leads to a wooden walkway out to the bay, which ends at a boathouse hosting a double decker porch on the dock.

  About ten guys are on the deck atop the boathouse, shooting skeet, smoking cigars, and drinking expensive scotch when we walk up. Two of them have shotguns in their hands and are wearing safety glasses. I notice one of the guys with the shotgun is Lane. I hear Lane yell, “Pull” and a skeet flies up and over the water. He shoots it and it smashes into a bazillion pieces.

  I call out, “Good Shot.”

  He turns and looks at me. “Hi, Bex,” he says, and I melt into a pile of goo right there on the dock.