P.S. Never in a Million Years (Cupid in the City Book 1)

by J. S. Cooper

  “Well, you have a good evening, too.” I turned around quickly and walked away. My heart was pounding but there was a smile on my face. He was handsome, and he was interesting, and he was funny. Part of me was tempted to walk back and ask for his name and number and tell him to give me a call sometime, but there was no point. I mean, where could we even go from here? I’d lied about my job, and I’d lied about my friendship with Finn Winchester. No, it was better for me to just keep things the way they were and move on with my life. I had other things to focus on and worry about. I didn’t need to worry about some handsome green-eyed man who showed up in little dive bars in New York City. I’d have plenty of time in the future to worry about getting a boyfriend.

  Now was not the time to complicate my life even further.

  Eight

  I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. I should have been sleeping, but all I could think about was the green-eyed man from the bar. There was something unforgettable about his dazzling smile, and as I thought about his luscious pink lips, I wondered if I had made a mistake not asking for his name. I debated whether I’d acted like a scaredy-cat or whether I had been smart. Men like him could get any woman that they wanted. Men like him could break your heart in a million ways and walk away without looking back. But I knew I couldn’t live my life being scared of dating and rejecting every attractive man I met.

  I resolved that if I were to see him again I would ask him his name. I would go up to him and I would say, Hey, this is Marcia. Remember me? And he’d smile and say, Of course, because why would he say anything else? I smiled to myself at that thought. And then I’d ask him his name. And he’d say it was something exotic like Damian or Mario. And then he’d tell me he was a model or an actor or maybe he worked in a grocery store.

  I laughed out loud at that thought. There was no way my green-eyed man worked at a grocery store.

  I looked at my phone and groaned when I saw that it was two a.m. I had to get up in five hours. I definitely could not afford to be late. I wasn’t sure how I felt about my job at Winchester Enterprises. I didn’t want to tell Susie, but I wasn’t sure I was going to be happy there. I mean, Lilian and Shantal were amazing, but if everyone else was like Gloria then it was going to be an awfully uncomfortable work environment.

  I wanted to be out in the real world. I wanted to be with my camera I wanted to be shooting videos of people and asking questions and documenting lives. I wanted to be submitting my short films to film festivals. One day, I wanted to win an Oscar. I knew that was a long shot, of course.

  I knew Susie wanted me to achieve my dreams as well, but I also knew she was worried about money—and she had every right to be. I was also worried. I didn’t want to admit it to her, but I was nervous we would get evicted. I’d seen the landlord just a couple of days ago, and he’d told me that if we didn’t get our rent in on time this month, he was going to give us thirty days to vacate. That was why I’d gone to the temp agency. That was why I’d sucked up my pride and accepted the first job I could find. I knew that I would much rather be a temp, hating my job, than to go back to Florida and live with my parents. I loved my parents, but I was an adult now. And I absolutely hated Florida. I wanted to be young, single, and living life in the big city with Susie.

  So far, we hadn’t really been able to do that, but we were on the right path. We already had two new friends. I knew that Shantal and Lilian were going to be longtime friends. The way that we bonded, the way that they made me laugh, the way that we all just seemed to gel. We were all new to the city, and we all had dreams and goals.

  While I was nervous about the job and anxious about the rent, I was still optimistic. Things were starting to look up. Maybe everything was going to be okay. And maybe I’d be so excellent at the assistant position at the executive office that they’d offer me a permanent position even sooner than I thought.

  I should have known the training would be excruciatingly boring. Gloria had caught me yawning every ten minutes as she droned on about the hierarchy of all the different managers and different software programs that I’d never heard of before.

  “What coding programs do you know?” Gloria appeared to be reading from a script. “Do you know C++ and Python?”

  I had no clue what she was talking about. “Python like the snake?”

  “The coding program.” Gloria scribbled something on her pad. “Obviously that’s a no.”

  “I mean, I can learn it if I need to.” I had absolutely no interest in learning the program, but she didn’t need to know that.

  “So, Marcia, We’re gonna have to have you take a vocabulary test today.”

  “Excuse me? Why do I have to take a vocabulary test?”

  “Because that is one of the requirements of working for the CEO, Finn Winchester.”

  “I think it’s derogatory and degrading that you’re going to ask me to take a vocabulary test period. How come you didn’t ask everyone else to take a vocabulary test?”

  “Because no one else was working in the executive office.”

  “I didn’t ask to work in the executive office, thank you very much. I would have much rather have worked with Sebastian and product management.”

  “Yes, I could see that, the way you were throwing yourself at him.” Gloria gave me a disapproving look.

  “This is absolutely ridiculous.” I pressed my lips together before I said anything really regrettable.

  “Oh and also…” She was silent for a few seconds.

  I frowned, wondering why she looked so uncomfortable. Gloria didn’t seem the sort of person who was uncomfortable saying or doing anything.

  “Yes, what is it?”

  “We’re going to need you to sign a contract stating that you won’t try and seduce Mr. Winchester.”

  “You what?” I stared at her. “You want me to sign a contract saying what?”

  “I do believe that I spoke English, Miss Lucas.”

  “You want me to sign a contract saying I’m not going to seduce Mr. Winchester? Are you out of your mind? I have absolutely no interest in Mr. Winchester. I’ve never even met the man before in my life.”

  “Yes, well, Miss Lucas, Mr. Winchester is a very eligible bachelor, which I’m sure you know, and as such, we need to ensure that you will not try and get your hooks into him.”

  “I’m not interested in him. I saw him in the newspaper last year, and frankly, he looked like a beast. And I’m not one of those women that’s interested in the Beast. I’d much rather have a handsome prince.”

  “I can assure you, Miss Lucas, that Mr. Winchester is no beast. He has dated the finest models from France and Milan—”

  “Gloria, I couldn’t care less who he’s dated. Are you sure you’re the one that’s not trying to seduce him?”

  “How dare you, Miss Lucas?” she gasped, looking deeply offended. “You will sign a contract stating that you will not seduce him. You will sign a contract stating that you will not fall for him. And you will sign a contract stating that you will not dress in inappropriate attire while you are at work in the offices of Winchester Enterprises. Do you understand?”

  I stared at her in shock. I had never seen her so animated in the three days that I’d known her. Finally, I simply nodded. There was no point getting in an argument with her, and I didn’t want to lose my job just because I didn’t want to sign a contract about falling for a man I never even met before in my life.

  “Miss Lucas, I need to hear an answer.”

  “That’s fine, Gloria, if you want me to sign a contract saying that I don’t want to bang Chewbacca then sure I will.”

  “Chewbacca?”

  “You’ve never seen Star Wars?” I raised an eyebrow. To be honest, it didn’t surprise me that she hadn’t seen Star Wars. She seemed like the sort of person that only watched cooking and antique shows.

  “Miss Lucas, I’m going to be quite frank with you. If it were up to me, you would not have even made it to the second day. However, your resume i
mpressed someone in the executive office enough that I was ordered to ensure that you made it through the training process. But I’m going to tell you something. If you continue in the manner that you have begun, you will not last more than a month at this company.”

  I stared at her in shock. I wasn’t shocked at what she’d said, because I believed her. I was actually surprised that I’d made it this far. What shocked me was the fact that someone in the executive office really wanted me to stay. What had I put in my resume that was so impressive?

  I tried to remember what skills and qualifications I’d listed. I mean, there was nothing that special about me unless they really wanted someone with mediocre juggling skills, or the ability to balance ten books on my head without them falling off. I’d included those facts because I’d thought they’d make me stand out as someone with a good sense of humor, but I hadn’t actually thought they’d be skills a corporation was looking for. But maybe they were. Maybe Winchester Enterprises was trying to get into the circus space. I mean, I didn’t know why they would be, but it wasn’t up to me what they decided to do with their money. Let them make shitty investments.

  “When is this test?” I’d have to rush to the bookstore and get some SAT vocab books to brush up. And maybe a dictionary.

  “In three days.” Gloria smiled sweetly. “It will give you some time to prepare for the tests.”

  “Tests? As in multiple?”

  “Oh, yes. We need to test the skills you list on your resume…” She gave me a pointed look. “We already know you exaggerated your Excel skills.”

  “I told you, I’m used to working on a Mac, not a PC. That’s why I forgot some of the commands.” I knew I was being insubordinate and was just waiting for the ax to fall.

  “Certainly, Miss Lucas.” Gloria headed for the door. “You have a fifteen-minute break now.” And with that she left the room, leaving me to wonder what I’d gotten myself into.

  Nine

  “Oh my gosh, Shantal. I am absolutely going to flip the script if Gloria does not get off my back.” I walked up to my new friend as she sat behind the receptionist’s desk chewing on a chocolate bar.

  “Oh, no. What happened now?” She gave me a sympathetic look.

  “Gloria just told me that I’m going to have to take a vocabulary test and that I have to sign a contract stating that I will not try and seduce Finn Winchester.” I rolled my eyes. “I haven’t even met the man, and she’s worried I’m going to try and seduce him.”

  “No way!” Shantal’s eyes went wide. “I’ve never heard of anything like that!”

  “So … this isn’t normal, then?” I’d been offended, but I’d thought it was par for the course for people working in the executive office.

  “Girl, I’ve never heard of anyone having to sign any sort of contract.” She shook her head. “But then maybe you’re going to have to sign an NDA as well,” she shrugged. “And I guess if you sign an NDA, then technically you’re not meant to be talking about it.”

  “Oh, boy. So does that mean I’m in trouble already?”

  “Well, you haven’t signed anything yet.” She smiled. “Plus, you told me, and I’m not going to tell anyone. Well, no one that works here.”

  “Shantal, who are you going to tell?”

  “I mean, I might tell my best friend, Benny.”

  “Your best friend, Benny?”

  “Yeah, her real name’s Bernadette. But she goes by Benny for obvious reasons.”

  “Obviously,” I laughed. “Okay, and why would you tell her?”

  “Because I tell her everything, and that’s kind of funny.”

  “It’s not funny. It’s offensive! Like, who does Gloria think I am that I would try to fricking seduce Bigfoot?”

  “Oh my gosh. He’s not Bigfoot!” Shantal laughed. “You really haven’t seen Finn Winchester?”

  “Girl, I told you I saw him in the newspaper from when he was hiking.”

  “Yeah, but haven’t you seen any other photos of him?”

  I shook my head. “No, the only other photos I saw was when he was young with his family, and that doesn’t really tell me much.”

  “Yeah, he is very private,” she nodded. “Surprisingly, because he’s always going out with—”

  “Don’t tell me. Models and actresses from Milan and Rome and London.”

  “Um, I was going to say he’s always going out with famous women,” she laughed. “What’s up with the models and actresses from all those exotic destinations?”

  “Oh, that’s what Gloria said to me. I think she might be in love with him.”

  “That wouldn’t surprise me,” Shantal said. “Maybe that’s why she’s got such a stick up her ass.”

  “Tell me about it,” I said. “So, you think he’s cute?”

  “I mean, he’s not really my type.” She shrugged. “But he’s pretty fly for a white guy.”

  “Oh, Shantal. That’s so funny.”

  “I mean, he’s cute, I’m not going to lie, but it’s not like we run in the same circles, right?” She shook her head. “I sit at the front of the office as the receptionist. He’s upstairs in the executive suites with champagne and caviar in his fridge.”

  “He has champagne and caviar in his fridge?”

  “I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I just mean it’s two different worlds.”

  “I mean, I thought I knew people who had money when I was in Florida, but not like Winchester money. I guess he’s, what? A millionaire?”

  “Girl, I think he’s a billionaire if the newspapers are right. And if the whisperings around the office are correct.”

  “Oh, what are the whisperings around the office?”

  “Well, let’s just say that one of the reasons why the executive office is looking for someone so badly is because…”

  “Oh my gosh, he slept with his last assistant?” I rolled my eyes. “Well, there you have it.”

  “No, girl. He didn’t sleep with her, but—”

  “Oh my God, what? They had a one-night stand.”

  “Girl, a one-night stand would be sleeping with her.”

  “I know, but—”

  “No, just listen. So, at the Christmas party, she left Mr. Winchester a note that said meet me in some office.”

  “Okay.”

  “Well, she had a plan to seduce him.”

  My eyes widened. “Okay, go on.”

  “So she’s in there, waiting. The lights are out, and she hears the door open.”

  “Okay.” I lean forward eagerly. “What happened next?”

  “Well, she hears a cough, and it’s male. So she grabs him. He tries to say something, but she puts her hand over his mouth and she starts kissing him.”

  “No way!”

  “Yep.” Shantal was grinning now. She leans forward and whispered, “And then…”

  “What?”

  She looks around. “I don’t know if I should really say this.”

  “Oh my gosh, you cannot start a story like this and then stop!”

  “Fine, but I’m not really meant to be engaging in office gossip sitting at the front of the building representing the company.”

  “Really, Shantal? You sit here gossiping all day long.”

  “I know,” she grinned. “But trust me, when my bosses are around, I have to look professional.”

  “I know, but hurry. I’ve only got five minutes before I have to get back in the office.”

  “Well, let’s just say Jane—”

  “Who’s Jane?”

  “Jane’s the assistant that left the note in the office.”

  “Okay, okay.”

  “Jane wasn’t wearing any panties.”

  “Whoa. Okay.”

  “And let’s just say she was wearing a dress, and she lifted the dress up and stuck his hand you know where.”

  My jaw dropped. “No, she didn’t!”

  “Yes,” Shantal snickered. “Yes, she did.”

  “Oh, shit.”

  “
And let’s just say they had sex.”

  “She had sex with Finn Winchester in a dark office, and he didn’t even know who she was?”

  “Well, that’s what the story would have you believe, right?”

  “Um, yeah. That’s the story you just told me, Shantal.”

  “Yeah well, get this. Jane ends up pregnant.”

  “No way,” I said loudly and then clamped my hand over my mouth. “Oops, sorry. Oh my gosh, so then what happened?”

  “So then she goes to Mr. Winchester’s office.”

  “Okay.”

  “And she has a pregnancy test.”

  “Okay.”

  “And she tells him.”

  “Oh my gosh, what? What?”

  “She tells him, ‘Excuse me, Finn.’” Shantal puts on a snooty accent.

  “Yes, and?”

  Shantal started laughing.

  “Oh my gosh. What? Tell me.”

  Shantal was laughing so hard now she could barely talk. “She says, ‘Excuse me, Finn. You are the father.’”

  “No way. So he had a baby with his assistant. Did he even realize it was her?”

  “Girl, no. Get this. This is the best part of the story.”

  “Um, okay. What?”

  “It wasn’t Mr. Winchester that went into the office that day at the party.”

  “What?” This was like something on television. “No, please tell me you’re joking.”

  “No, girl. It was the janitor!” Shantal started laughing hilariously.

  My eyes felt like they were about to pop out of my head. “What? No.”

  “Yeah, girl. She slept with the sixty-five-year-old janitor. He nearly had a heart attack when he found out.”

  “What? Oh, my gosh. How did he find out?”

  “So basically, when Jane went into the office with the pregnancy test, obviously Mr. Winchester had no idea what she was talking about. So she explained how she’d left the note for him and he’d come and met her after the Christmas party, and he told her that he’d never seen any note. So anyways, they finally figured out that the janitor had cleaned up the desk and the office and had seen the note. He went to go and talk to her because he thought that she was putting herself out there in a disrespectful way.” Shantal grinned. “Well, I guess he felt like it was okay for her to be disrespectful with him.”