by J. L. Wilder
Jack and I are also getting along better these days. He’s quiet, standoffish, but I’m learning that it’s his personality and not anything to do with me. He’s the same way with Luka. In this way, he’s very different from Leo, who was engaging and outgoing. It’s fascinating to see these two different styles of alpha leadership, each effective in its own way. Jack’s mere presence puts us at ease. It’s as if he gives Luka and me permission to laugh and enjoy each other’s company simply by being in the den with us.
My mind is still stuck on Ryan as I fall asleep every night. Whatever happened between us was quick and intense and definitely a physical reaction. It was slightly painful. It was entirely powerful. But I’ve never felt anything quite like it before. I know that moment, that sharp shock when our fingers touched, must be the reason he’s avoiding me now. But why? Does he think I did whatever it was on purpose? Is he afraid it will happen again?
Does he know what it was?
If Ryan knows what it was, could the others know? Maybe my best bet is to ask them. A week has gone by since the incident, a week that has given me absolutely no answers or resolution. Conversation between Luka and Jack and I has grown easy and natural. I feel like I might be able to talk to them about this. But on the other hand, I don’t know what kind of answer I’m in for. What if that sharp jolt between us was something awful, or something of which my new pack won’t approve. It seems to have enraged Ryan. What if the other two react badly as well?
But there’s always the fact that Ryan chose not to tell them, and I have to believe that if he’d seen a chance to turn them against me, he would have taken it. That’s my safety net. If this is bad, it’s at least as bad for Ryan as it is for me.
I decide to tell them over dinner, when Ryan will be away, when bellies will be full, and everyone will be warm and happy and a little bit sleepy. It will be hard for anyone to get angry under those circumstances. I wait until the meal has been consumed and Luka and Jack are lounging on hides, both of them sinking into relaxation. Then I clear my throat. “I was wondering if I could talk to you two about something.”
“What is it?” Luka asks.
Before I can answer, we’re all distracted by the sound of heavy footfalls approaching. A moment later, Ryan appears in the mouth of the cave. He’s in human form, but he’s stark naked, and I know that means that moments earlier he was in his bear form. I try not to let my eyes linger. I’ve never seen any of the men nude, nor have I shifted with them. This is more intimacy than I’m accustomed to with my new clan.
“Ryan,” Jack says, brusque and alert, already on his feet. “What is it?”
“Wolves,” Ryan responds. “In the forest. A whole pack. They caught my scent, and they’re on their way. We’re going to have to fight.”
Wolves. A shudder runs down my spine. They found me already. I’ve only been here for two weeks. I thought I’d be safe longer than this. I thought the prospect of facing the Hell’s Bears would scare them off, at least for a while. It seems, I was wrong. They found me, and they’re attacking right now.
I know I should be afraid. If they get me, the things they’re going to do to me will be horrible. And there’s no way I’m going to get through this without Jack, Luka, and Ryan finding out I lied to them about what brought me here. This is the worst trouble I’ve ever been in, and I can’t see any way out. But for some reason, all I can think about is my clan. They’re about to face terrible violence, and I’m the one who brought it to their door. If they’re harmed in this fight, it will be because of me.
There’s only one thing I can do. I close my eyes and shift.
In bear form, my thoughts are uncomplicated and pure. I know my clan mates are staring at me, wondering, but that doesn’t matter now. My feelings are simple. My gut is telling me what to do, and that’s all that matters.
My gut is telling me to put as much distance between my new family and my old enemies as possible. And there’s only one thing that will do it.
I run.
I have to lead the wolves away. It’s my scent they’re tracking. Maybe they’ve picked up Ryan’s, but they’ll leave him alone as soon as they know I’m here. They’d rather pursue me, their true quarry, than engage in a fight with the Hell’s Bears.
I sniff the air as I go and detect the sour dog scent almost immediately. They’re close, and Ryan was right—they’re drawing closer. I run directly toward them, coming as near as I dare before taking a hard right. They’ll have smelled me by now. Their noses are more keen than mine is, and they’re faster too. They’ll be on me in moments.
I have to hide. But there’s nowhere here that would conceal a bear, so I shift back to human form. Immediately, doubt and regret rushes in. What was I thinking? I’m in the middle of the woods, all alone, pursued by the wolves who killed my family. I can already hear them, their paws crunching through the snow, their snarls of rage as they draw close. I know they won’t kill me, but in their hands, I might as well be dead. And once they’ve got me, there’s no guarantee they won’t go back and seek a fight with my family for daring to conceal me from them in the first place.
I have to hide. I have to find somewhere to conceal myself quickly. It’s my only chance.
I grab the low hanging branch of a nearby tree and pull myself up. Getting off the ground might be the best hope I have. The wolves won’t be able to climb. Of course, if they resume their own human forms, they’ll be up the tree right after me and there will be very little I can do, but I’d rather face a group of crazy humans than a group of crazy wolves.
When I’m about twenty feet off the ground, the first wolf steps into view. He’s small and sort of mangy looking, with sharp teeth that are bared in a snarl. Right away, he’s joined by two more. They have no trouble catching sight of me, and they circle the tree and pace, looking up, waiting for me to make the next move.
I remain still, watching.
One of the wolves lunges at the tree as if trying to climb it. His claws get no traction and he skids back down to the ground, but his attack throws me off my balance and I almost tumble down myself. Just in time, I latch my arms around the trunk and hang on for dear life.
Why aren’t they shifting? Are they doing this to torture me, knowing that they’ll eventually starve me out? I resolve not to come down for them, no matter what. I’ll die up here if it comes to that. It would be better than turning myself over to this band.
Then, with a roar that shakes the earth, a brown bear emerges from the trees.
No.
The wolves turn to face the newcomer immediately. The bear roars again and charges toward them. He swipes a wolf across the face, drawing blood, as another leaps onto his back and sinks its teeth into his shoulder. Seconds later, two more bears appear, and I lose track of who’s who in the brawl below. Fur is flying, and I can see blood and I want to scream or cry, but all I can think is that my actions have caused this to happen and if anyone is hurt or killed, it’ll be on my conscience.
I should never have come here. I should never have imposed my presence on the Hell’s Bears. They were happy and whole before I arrived, and I’m going to leave them in pieces. Just like I did with my old clan. Wherever I go, people die. Anyone who’s close to me dies.
I was just starting to care about them....
And then, as suddenly as it began, the fight is over, and three wolves lie dead on the ground.
Wolves.
They haven’t shifted back. When a shifter dies, I know all too painfully, he resumes his human form. These haven’t. Which means, they were never shifters at all. These aren’t the wolves I’ve been running from. They’re just...wolves. Regular, Alaskan wolves. Which means, this fight would have happened even if I’d never come here. It never had anything to do with me.
The men shift back. Ryan is bleeding profusely from his shoulder, and I realize he was the one who was bitten. Other than that, however, they look basically unharmed. They’re naked, of course—we all are, now—but I don’t car
e. I’m so relieved to see them alive and safe that I immediately climb down from the tree.
“What were you thinking?” Jack demands. “You ran right toward them. You couldn’t have thought you had a chance at taking them on alone.”
“I just...,” I hesitate. “I wanted to draw them away from the cave.”
“You could have been killed.”
“Any of us could have been killed,” Ryan says quietly. He’s looking at me as if seeing me for the first time. “Nobody was. Isn’t that what’s important?”
Jack looks from Ryan to me. I feel like he’s looking into my soul, somehow seeing something about myself that I don’t even know. Finally, he speaks. “Don’t ever do it again.”
I nod.
“Let’s go home,” Jack says, and turns toward the cave. The rest of us follow without saying a word.
Chapter Seven
The next morning, Jack is up with the dawn, packing up the cave. I blink my way out of a haze of sleep and watch from my hides as he takes down the food that’s strung up on the wall. Neither of the others are anywhere to be seen. I can’t get my mind around what’s happening, but it feels dangerous. Unpleasant.
I’m not sure what to say, though, so I hold my tongue until Jack turns around and notices me watching him. “Good, you’re awake,” he says. “I need your help. Can you start rolling the hides? There are leather straps here to tie them with.”
I get up and move automatically toward him, taking the bundle of leather straps he’s holding in his hand. “I don’t understand,” I say. “Why are we packing everything up?”
“It’s time to leave,” Jack says. “If those wolves found us, others from their pack might be nearby, and we don’t want another fight. We’ll pick up and settle somewhere else, somewhere safer. It won’t be the first time we’ve gone in search of a new home.”
Not the first time for me either, of course, but I’ve grown used to the warmth and comfort of our den, and I don’t particularly want to leave. Still, I know there’s no use arguing with Jack. I turn and begin rolling hides into tight bundles, tying them closed with the leather straps and wondering what the future holds for us.
A motorcycle roars up to the mouth of the cave. The sound is familiar and reminds me powerfully of home, of the way it felt when my whole family started their bikes at once and we took to the highway. It was always just a casual ride with them, a ride for fun. The guys would race each other, weaving in and out to take the lead of the pack, a sort of posturing Leo allowed with good humor. I would let my hair down, riding on the back of someone’s bike, my arms around his waist, enjoying the sensation of speed and giving myself over completely to the trust I had in my clanmates, knowing they wouldn’t let me fall.
Now, I look at Ryan sitting astride his bike in the mouth of the cave and feel a surprising pull toward him. He’s looking right at me, his dark eyes intense, which doesn’t help matters, and I feel myself take a step toward him before I can hold back.
Jack nods. “Cami, you ride with Ryan. I’ll lead, and Luka will chase.”
I’m expecting an argument from Ryan, but he merely nods and jerks his head, indicating that I should join him on the bike. Hesitantly, I make my way over and climb onto the seat behind him. I’m careful as I settle in—I don’t want to put any pressure on his wounded shoulder, which is still heavily wrapped.
Luka roars up beside us. Jack emerges from the cave with our bundled supplies in his arms and begins distributing them. I end up taking the bulk of the food, stuffed into my backpack. When everything is piled onto the three bikes, Jack mounts his own and kicks it into gear, pulling out of the clearing in front of the cave. Ryan follows, and I cling to him tightly.
There is a path that leads to the highway that cuts through these woods, but it’s narrow and somewhat overgrown. It’s not the kind of path that attracts hikers. As we wind our way along it, I can only pray I won’t be unseated and thrown to the ground, a fall which might kill me. Just as the fear is about to overwhelm me, however, we emerge from the tree line and burst forth onto the highway.
And just like that, I’m back at home. Everything about this is familiar. Jack sets a speed that feels normal, fast and confident and wonderful. I press my cheek against Ryan’s back, so I can watch the people in the cars we pass, watch them look at us in shock or amazement or sometimes disapproval, but never, not once, disinterest. The only thing in the world that matches this feeling of sheer freedom is shifting, and I’ve wondered before if maybe that’s what pulls us to be bikers. Maybe we’re addicted to the rush.
But there’s something different about today too. Something about riding with Ryan instead of Berto. The closeness of his body. I can feel his muscles shift and flex under his clothes, and it’s not awkward the way it was when I rode with the old clan. It makes me want to pull closer to him, instead of farther away. It makes me short of breath.
We stop for lunch. I pull food out of my pack and hand it around. Ryan takes his and—predictably—stalks off the road and into the forest. I had hoped the fight with the wolves would be a turning point in our relationship, but it looks like that isn’t going to happen.
Luka watches him go, then turns to Jack. “Should we—?”
“No,” Jack interrupts. “He has to do it.”
“What’s going on?” It’s not unusual for me to feel lost when two of the Hell’s Bears talk in front of me, but I’ve gotten bolder lately about asking to be included.
“She has a right to know,” Luka says.
Do I? I look to Jack. His eyes are closed, and he looks deeply frustrated. “This isn’t our job.”
“She’s family,” Luka says.
My heart swells. This is the first time any of them have called me family. There’s a bitterness to it, of course—I had a family—but I’m pleased to be welcomed, pleased to know that Luka thinks of me this way.
If we are family, though, that means Luka’s right and I do have a right to know what’s going on. It puts me on an even footing with Ryan. I don’t have to tolerate his animosity toward me blindly. If the others know something about what’s causing it, as they certainly seem to, it’s my responsibility to investigate further. If I can find out what Ryan’s problem is, after all, maybe I can help to solve it.
So, I ask the question. “Why doesn’t Ryan like me?”
Jack sighs. “It isn’t that,” he says.
“Then what is it?”
“Have you felt...something strange with Ryan? Something electric? A spark?”
How did he know about that? “Yes,” I admit. “It was like a static charge, but stronger. And...strange. It lasted, even after he left. I can still feel it sometimes.”
“That’s because it wasn’t static,” Jack says. “It was something much more permanent.”
“What do you mean?” His voice is serious, and I feel a chill.
“Ryan’s imprinted on you.”
“Ryan’s what?” I can’t make sense of what I’m being told. “Ryan hates me. He hasn’t imprinted on me.”
“It’s never happened to you before, has it?” Luka asks, picking at his jerky.
“No,” I admit.
“It isn’t like falling in love,” Luka says. “It doesn’t matter whether he likes you or not. It’s physical. It’s chemical. It’s his body reaching out to yours and forging a connection, and it’s not something either of you has any say in or control over. That’s why Ryan’s been angry. He hates feeling like he doesn’t have control over his choices.”
I remember what Ryan said to me just before the imprint happened—he could choose not to be with me. He must be feeling like he doesn’t have that option anymore. I know what it’s like to have control of your life wrested away from you. I feel a sudden surge of sympathy for Ryan. “What happens now?” I ask.
“Now, you mate,” Jack says.
Luka frowns. “If you both want to.”
“They’ll do it,” Jack says to Luka, as if I’m not even here. “It’s science.
No one resists mating once they’ve imprinted. And Cami knows that her value to the clan is as a breeder, so she’s already given consent.”
“She’s allowed to revoke it,” Luka says. “She’s still a person. She’s not just a breeder. And Ryan might not want to either. You know he doesn’t always—” but he falls silent at a look from Jack. Doesn’t always what? It doesn’t look like I’m going to get an answer.
I raise a hand. “I appreciate it, Luka, but Jack is right. This is why I’m here. And I’m an omega. This was always going to be in my life. You don’t need to try to get me out of it.” Part of me wonders why he is trying. Shouldn’t he be happy about this development? If Ryan and I breed, it will be good for the clan.
“I just want to make sure you’re comfortable with it,” Luka says. “I know you and Ryan haven’t exactly hit it off.”
“There are plenty worse out there than Ryan,” I say, thinking of the wolves.
“Very true,” Jack agrees. “Luka, you ought to go tell him that she knows. He shouldn’t be kept in the dark about that.”
“Why me?”
“You’re the one who wanted to tell her.”
Looking exasperated, Luka gets to his feet and jogs off into the woods.
Jack gives me a measured look. “You can ride with me for the next stretch,” he says after a while. “It might be good to have some distance between you and Ryan while you each process what happened here.”
Probably a good idea. “Okay,” I agree. “Thank you.”
Ryan doesn’t even look at me when he and Luka emerge from the woods. “Let me take the lead,” he says to Jack, and by the tone in his voice, it’s just barely a request. I can tell his anger has only grown based on his conversation with Luka, and I hope I’m not going to have to bear the brunt of that later.
