by J. L. Wilder
Jack carefully props Ryan up against a rock and hands him a water skin. He drinks, moving carefully, wincing as he does so. Some of the color is returning to his face now, but it still upsets me to see him like this. Ryan is the strongest of us, the best in a brawl. It’s horrifying that the wolves were able to neutralize him so easily. And it’s heartrending to see him in pain. I rest my hand on my midsection without thinking about it as my thoughts turn to our unborn children.
“He’ll be all right,” Luka says, his voice tight with stress. “The wound wasn’t too deep. It should heal quickly, as long as he doesn’t exert himself.”
“I am right here, you know,” Ryan says, a note of exasperation in his voice. It’s a relief. If he has the energy to be annoyed, then Luka must be right. The wound can’t be all that bad. I breathe a sigh of relief. Whatever happens next would be infinitely worse if we lost Ryan.
“What happened?” Luka asks. “You said something about wolves?”
“It’s a clan of shifters,” Jack clarifies. “Five of them. They got the drop on us. We smelled them, of course, but we thought it was just wild wolves. We gave them a wide berth, and we didn’t think they’d bother us either. Our hunting paths hadn’t crossed. But they changed direction and came right for us, even though we were in bear form at the time. It should have been enough to keep them away. It would have, if they’d been regular wolves. They wouldn’t have wanted to tangle with another predator who wasn’t in competition with them for food.”
“And that’s how you found out they were shifters? Because they changed their target?” Luka frowned. “That doesn’t seem conclusive. Maybe they were tracking something you hadn’t picked up on.”
“They were definitely shifters,” Ryan says, and hisses a little with the effort. His eyes slide closed, his face tight with pain. “One of them shifted in front of us.”
Luka stares. “You mean, shifted back to human form? While everyone else was still in their animal form? Why would they do something like that? It’s inviting trouble.”
Jack shakes his head. “There were enough of them to keep the human one safe. The others stood in front of him, protected him. He was never in any danger.” He sighs. “They outnumbered us too greatly. Five to two? We didn’t have a chance against them. It’s a miracle we even made it back here, especially once Ryan was injured.”
He still hasn’t looked at me. None of them are looking at me. They’re telling the story as if I’m not in the room. It’s terrifying. I haven’t felt like so much of an outsider since my first week with the Bears. I can feel my breath coming too fast, my head starting to spin. This isn’t going to end well.
“What did they want?” Luka asks.
I know Jack knows the truth before he speaks, but the words are still a punch to the gut. “Cami. They’re here for Cami. As soon as he’d shifted, he asked for her. ‘Where’s the girl?’ he said, and when we didn’t tell him, he clarified, ‘Where’s the omega?’”
Luka glances at me now, frightened, confused. “But what do they want with her? I don’t understand.”
I have to tell them. I have to tell them everything, right now. I don’t know how much Jack knows, whether the story he’s gleaned from his encounter with the wolves will reveal the depth of my betrayal. But if there’s even a chance of it, I know that the truth has to come from me. If the others are ever going to forgive me for what I’ve done, they’ll need evidence of how deeply I regret it. They’ll need to see that I didn’t wait to get caught, that I gave myself up, even if I only did so in the eleventh hour. It’s better than nothing. It has to be.
And if, by some miracle, Jack doesn’t know the whole story, I still want to tell them. I feel a rush of unearned pride at the realization. The safest possible course of action now is to make sure everyone is fully informed. They can’t fight the wolves unless they know why the wolves are here. If learning the truth makes them decide to run away together and leave me to my fate...well, then that’s what I get. The idea makes me shudder. But I can’t let my bears sacrifice themselves for my sake. I love them. I love them all. I have to do this.
So, I speak up. “They’ve been following me since before I came here,” I say quietly, surprised that my voice is steady. I keep eye contact with Luka as I speak—he’s the easiest to talk to, the least frightening, but even his eyes are hard right now. “They killed my clan. I lied to you. When I told you my old clan died of a disease, it was because I knew you wouldn’t take me in knowing I was being hunted. I needed protection. I needed a clan. So, I lied to save myself.”
Nobody speaks. I’m not surprised. What can they possibly say? They’ll never forgive me for this. I’ve put them all at risk. I feel sure at least one of them is contemplating hauling me out of the den and handing me over to the wolves right now. Maybe they’re all considering it. Maybe it’s about to happen. My stomach turns over at the thought.
Finally, Jack breaks the silence. “Why are they hunting you?” he asks. His voice is frighteningly cold.
“They knew I got away,” I explain. My mind feels like soup, a boiling broth of fear and guilt. I wish I could lie down and close my eyes for a minute. “I wasn’t home when the others were killed, and then I went on the run...they knew they missed me.”
“They’ve been tracking you all this time to kill you?” Jack shakes his head. “That doesn’t make sense, Cami. Why would anyone want to kill you that badly?”
I can feel something offensive in his words. There’s something about me specifically that he doesn’t think would be worth pursuing and killing. I don’t think he would be asking this question if the wolves had been tracking him all this time. He would accept that his own life was worth the pursuit, worth the effort to end. I want to object, but the fact of the matter is that he’s right. I’m probably not worth that much trouble to kill. At least, that’s not the motivation behind the wolves’ behavior. And I have to come clean.
“They’re not trying to kill me,” I say, and now I find I’m not able to maintain eye contact even with Luka. This part of the story is just too upsetting. I look down at the dirt and rock floor of our den, the place that has become my home. “They want to kidnap me. That’s why they killed my clan in the first place. That’s why they’ve been pursuing me all this time. I hoped they’d give up when they saw I was with you, or that maybe they would lose me on my way here. So much time went by, I let myself believe I was finally safe. That they weren’t coming back.”
“Why do they want to kidnap you?” There’s something strange in Ryan’s voice, a sort of strangled sound I’ve never heard there before.
“They want to breed with me,” I explain. The sheer horror of this idea feels somehow distant from me, enabling me to talk about it flatly. I could be handed over to the wolves at any moment, and yet my feelings about them are somehow deader the more I talk. It’s as if I’m surrendering myself in advance, dissociating my mind from my body, so I won’t have to be present for whatever happens next. “They want to cross-breed, creating a generation of...of I don’t even know what. Whatever happens when wolves and bears breed.”
A snarl rips out of Ryan, more animal than human.
“That’s sick,” Luka says, sounding revolted. “That’s really sick.”
Jack’s face is set. “Okay. We need to decide what we’re going to do about this.”
“I lied to you,” I say quietly. “I put you in this position. I’m so sorry. I never should have come here. I’ll leave. I have a bike now. Maybe I can put some distance between myself and them. I’ll lead them away from you and...and maybe I can hide....” I know, even as I’m offering the plan, how futile it is. There’s no way I’ll be able to keep away from the wolves, not if they’ve followed me this far, not if they’re willing to engage with the Hell’s Bears to get to me. I won’t stand a chance on my own.
“Absolutely not,” Ryan says. The snarl is still in his voice. It sounds like he’s ready to rip something apart, and for a moment, I’m actually terrifi
ed of him. But his eyes don’t linger on me. He turns to the others. “We’re not giving her up.”
Jack’s big hands land on my shoulders, surprisingly gentle. “Of course, we aren’t, Ryan. No one’s considering that.”
“God, Cami,” Luka says, shaking his head. “You thought we’d send you away with those monsters waiting out there to....” He closes his eyes, apparently unable to speak the words. “You’re one of us. We’ve imprinted on you. We’ll protect you with our last breath, all of us.”
“You can’t risk yourselves for me.” My whole body is shaking, suddenly, and Jack grabs a skin and wraps it tightly around my shoulders. “I lost my family to these wolves. I can’t lose you like that. I can’t go through that again.”
“It’s decided,” Jack says firmly. “We fight.”
Ryan’s watching me carefully. “Someone needs to stay with her,” he says. “She’ll run.”
“She won’t run.” Jack looks at me. “She knows better. Right, Cami? We can’t protect you if you take off.”
“I don’t want you to protect me,” I say. “That’s what I’m trying to say. I don’t want any of you hurt because of me.”
“You see what I mean?” Ryan says. “She’ll run. She doesn’t want us to fight for her. We already know this. Remember when we met those wild wolves and she ran off to lead them away from us? She thinks she knows best. She needs a guard.”
“That’s you, then,” Jack says.
Ryan frowns. “I’m the best fighter.”
“You’re the one with a slashed torso,” Luka counters. “That wound will open up again if you strain yourself, and then you’ll be no good to anybody. Guarding Cami is the best thing you can do.”
“Wait a minute.” Everything seems to be coming together too quickly. I’m feeling panicky. I’m running out of chances to talk them out of this. “You’re talking about just the two of you going out there to fight them?” I look from Luka to Jack. “You can’t do that, Jack. It will be the same as it was when it was just you and Ryan, and look at him now. Five against two. You won’t be able to manage them.”
“It’ll be different this time,” Jack promises. “We’ll be prepared. We’ll have a plan of attack.”
“No, you can’t—”
“I’m with her,” Ryan says. He sounds furious. “We need to think this through. The two of you against those wolves? It’s not a good plan, Jack. We can come up with something better. You can’t hope to beat them by yourselves.”
Suddenly, horrifyingly, I find myself wishing the Hell’s Bears did have a gun.
“We’ll figure it out,” Jack says. His voice is soothing. “We’ll figure out our plan of attack. We’ll split them up somehow and pick them off. We’re all good hunters, and now we know exactly where they are and what they want, so we have the advantage. It’s going to be fine.”
I wish I could believe him, but I can’t quell the terror washing over me in waves. Luka pulls me into his arms and rubs my back as I continue to shiver, and my mind shrinks away from the confident voices above me, shielding myself as they continue to formulate their plans. If they’re killed trying to protect me after everything I’ve done, I don’t think I can live with it.
I close my eyes and try to relax, but all I can see is Berto’s lifeless body.
Chapter Twenty-One
I’m not much use to the clan for the rest of the day. Jack and Luka huddle together by the fire, planning their attack, debating angles of approach and methods of dividing the wolves. Ryan sits with them, weighing in from time to time. I can tell he’s frustrated nearly to the point of defiance by the fact that he’s going to be left behind. Every time Luka and Jack seem to have a plan in place, Ryan carefully picks it apart, pointing out all the flaws. It’s useful, I know—they shouldn’t go out with a plan that isn’t foolproof—but I think Ryan’s also getting some satisfaction demonstrating that this just can’t be done without him.
“Why don’t we wait?” I suggest, after this has gone on for a few hours without any great success. “Ryan will recover in a few days. He’ll probably be healthy enough to go out and fight.” I don’t want Ryan to go, of course. I don’t want any of them to. But if they all fight together, the odds are probably better of all of them returning. I don’t think there’s any way Luka and Jack can hope to fight this battle by themselves.
But Jack shakes his head. “We can’t afford to wait,” he says. “The wolves have probably figured out where our den is. They followed us back after they attacked us. I don’t think they know where the entrance is, or they’d be in here already, but I’m sure they’re looking. And we don’t want the fight to happen in here, on their terms.”
“How do you know they’re not just waiting outside, guarding the exit?” I ask. “They could be standing there, prepared to slaughter anyone who comes out.”
A shadow of worry crosses Jack’s face, but when he answers, his voice is relaxed. “They’re not out there. We’d be able to pick up the scent from the tunnel.”
“Cami has a point,” Ryan says. “This fight will be much easier with three than with two. Look...,” and he pulls a few loose pebbles and begins arranging them, illustrating his idea. “One of us could go sprinting out to the bikes,” he says, and indicates by flicking a pebble away. “When the wolves give chase, the other two could follow behind and pick them off.”
“It’s a good plan,” Jack says. “But it will work just as well with two people. I don’t want to give them time to find us, Ryan. And someone should stay behind with Cami anyway. There’s always a chance that when the rest of us run off, they won’t chase after us at all. They’ll just stay where they are, waiting for her to be unprotected.”
“Do they even know there are three of us?” Ryan asks. “That could be a huge advantage. It doesn’t make sense not to use it. They’re only planning to fight two, I’d bet anything.”
“We don’t have any way of knowing what they know,” Jack says. “For now, I like Ryan’s idea best. I’ll run to the bikes and try to pull the wolves away. If they take the bait, Luka, you go after them. Then I’ll double back to you and we’ll wipe them out together.”
A chill runs down my spine. I don’t like this plan at all. Luka is fast—he’ll be able to catch up to the wolves without any problem—but of the three men in my clan, he’s probably the weakest fighter. Not that he’s weak. I wouldn’t doubt his ability to take on a single wolf, or maybe even two. But five? He won’t stand a chance. If he’s on his own with them for any significant amount of time....
But Luka’s jaw is set, and I can see he’s going to go along with Jack’s plan. He’s not even going to make Jack order him to do it. Luka would never force Jack to make this an order, I realize, my heart sinking. He’s too compassionate. He’d volunteer to go to his death before he’d put Jack in that position.
Ryan, at least, seems to share my concern. “This isn’t going to work,” he says, struggling to get to his feet. “You have to let me fight with you. It’s the only way we stand a chance. Just let me be the bait. Then you two can do the bulk of the fighting.”
Jack holds him down easily. “You’re in no condition,” he says firmly. “You can barely sit up, Ryan. They’d catch up with you easily. They’d tear you apart.”
“At least that would distract them,” Ryan grumbles. “You two wouldn’t have any trouble if they were focused on me. And you know they’d keep their attention on me if I was out there. They’d want to go for the easy kill.”
A squeak of horror escapes me. “Ryan, no, you can’t.”
Ryan throws a pebble toward the fire, where it glances off a larger rock and bounces away. “This is not a fight that two people can win.”
“If it goes badly,” Jack says, “Luka and I will get to our bikes and lead the wolves a few miles south. If you hear the engines, take Cami and ride north, and we’ll try to lose them. Then we’ll double back and meet up with you as soon as we can.”
“You want us to separate?” Ryan as
ks, eyes blazing. “This is the plan?”
“This is the best we can do,” Jack says. “I’m trying to give all of us the best possible odds of surviving.”
I get the feeling Ryan would have been willing to keep going around in circles about this all day, but Jack seems to have decided the conversation is over. He gets up and walks away, over to the cave’s exit. For a heart stopping moment, I think he’s putting his plan into motion right now, but he lingers by the entrance to the tunnel and sniffs the air. A satisfied look comes over his face—it must be free of the scent of wolves. For now, at least.
Luka falls into his usual routine of preparing lunch, cutting meat into cubes and arranging it on skewers for us to cook over the flames. Ryan leans back and closes his eyes, and I know he’s trying to come to terms with the plan Jack has made for the fight and the fact that he’s going to be sidelined. I’m trying to come to terms with it too. Is Jack’s plan really the best one available? I have to admit, I haven’t heard any better ideas from anyone else. But that doesn’t mean the plan we’re going with is actually a good idea. It seems far too likely that someone might be killed.
I retreat into my alcove, needing privacy. Once I’m alone, I curl up with my back to the wall and my head in my hands. This is all my fault. The most likely outcome here is that the wolves will kill the Bears, just like they killed my last clan. If they do, they’ll surely take me away with them. It will be as if I had never come here, never discovered this new family—except for the fact that my actions will have gotten Jack, Ryan, and Luka killed.
It’s already hard not to blame myself for the deaths of my old clan. Every time I think of them my stomach twists with guilt. They died because of me, because the wolves were trying to get to me. But at least, in that case, it wasn’t any action of mine that provoked the attack. All I did in that case was exist. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t have done anything differently. In this case, I chose to inflict my presence on the Hell’s Bears, even though I knew a clan of dangerous wolves was pursuing me. If any of my men die, it’ll be my fault. I’m responsible.
