The Wellington Bureau: A Quartermain Mystery

by Daphne Coleridge

one of his romances thus exposed. Perhaps he really did want to make a good impression on her. She decided to be kind and change the subject.

  “Why the books on stained glass?” The book containing the letter had been about English stained glass.

  “All to do with my job.”

  “Percy spends his days in museums conserving things...and writing love letters!” Toby added in a whisper.

  “It’s a glorified hobby,” Percy said. “Like Toby’s wine-merchanting. Except that I only get given pocket money.”

  “I always thought conservation work sounded interesting, but I don’t have the right temperament for painstaking work. I’d get cross and smash the whatever-it-was that I was trying to conserve,” said Anna.

  The door bell rang.

  “I’ll go,” said Toby.

  Percy came out of the kitchen again, smoothing his hair. He pulled a wry face and said in a low voice, “Don’t judge me too harshly!"

  Anna smiled.

  “Percy, darling!” Julia came in first and gave her host a hug. Caroline followed looking altogether more sheepish. “We didn’t bother about wine because we knew Toby would see to that,” Julia continued.

  “I can see that if I change my job and become a car spares salesman I’ll never get asked out to dinner again,” said Toby ruefully.

  “Poor darling!” Julia gave him a hug and a kiss.

  Percy did something to improve his image as a cad by smiling pleasantly at Caroline and saying that he was glad she had come.

  “I’d still ask you,” said Philip to Toby. “My motor’s flunked out on me. Here, I’ve brought a bottle.” He handed it to Percy. “The inevitable mineral water.”

  Anna was introduced to a tall, bony girl with auburn hair and a prominent nose.

  “This is Jane Duff. Everyone calls her Duffy,” explained Percy.

  Duffy gave Anna a firm handshake whilst Caroline smiled at her shyly over the taller girl’s shoulder. The smile was a friendly one and it made Anna determined not to give her any reason for looking as woebegone as she had on the last occasion that they met.

  “Pleased to see you again,” Warren too seemed shy, but Anna was left with the impression that he was blithely unaware that she had spent the better part of a week following him.

  “What about some drinks, Percy?” prompted Toby.

  “I’ll summon the butler!” quipped Percy. He disappeared and emerged again wearing an apron and carrying a silver salver. “What can I fetch for her ladyship?”

  “The wine list, if you please,” said Caroline.

  “Oh, that’s me!” said Toby, rushing over to her.

  “What have you got to offer?”

  “Something young and fruity?” suggested Toby, deliberately salacious in his tone. “Or something mellow and satisfying?”

  Caroline giggled.

  “Full bodied with an attractive nose?”

  “Ripe fruit with a tantalising delicacy,” Julia affected a voice of passionate longing.

  “Then I would suggest that your ladyship should sample a good Burgundy. Or perhaps Philip would suit your requirements!”

  “Who doesn’t want a G and T?” asked Percy.

  “I’ll have the T without the G,” said Philip. Nobody else admitted to not wanting one, so the drinks were duly poured and distributed.

  “I like to simplify things,” was Percy’s comment.

  “Caught your thief yet?” Philip asked Toby.

  “No. The plods were clueless. But we have a private detective on the case.”

  “Surely not!”

  “Oh, yes. No expense spared.”

  “He only means me,” admitted Anna, watching to see how Warren reacted to the subject. He was picking a piece of fluff off his jumper and she could not see his expression.

  Philip looked at Anna, raising one eyebrow. “Indeed! And have you tracked down the malefactor? What clues did he leave behind?”

  “It could be a she!” chipped in Julia.

  “There weren’t any very useful clues,” replied Anna, not particularly wanting to pursue the subject.

  “In that case it couldn’t have been a woman. A woman would have left the place riddled with clues,” said Percy, for Julia’s benefit. She rose to the bait and flung a cushion at him.

  “When do you hope to make your arrest?” enquired Philip. Anna had the feeling that she was being sneered at.

  “I’ll wait for him to strike again. Then I’ll pounce!” If he wasn’t going to take her seriously, neither would she.

  “Fascinating,” said Philip. “Won’t you feel guilty when they hang him? Or her,” he glanced at Julia with a sly smile.

  “They don’t hang people anymore,” said Caroline, earnestly.

  “They might, in this case!” said Toby.

  “Oh, they wouldn’t!” said Caroline. “Not for something so trivial.”

  “Once upon a time they hanged people for stealing five shillings. Or for impersonating a Chelsea pensioner, come to that,” Percy informed her.

  “That’s just awful! How could they justify hanging someone for five shillings?”

  “Because stealing undermines the structure of society. Especially a capitalist society,” said Percy, the historian.

  “But what if the thief hadn’t even hurt anybody?”

  “The punishment had nothing to do with how morally reprehensible the crime was. It was simply to protect society. The rich made the laws and the rich were those with the most to lose.”

  “It was a pretty disgusting system,” said Philip, with feeling. “Caroline’s right, what matters is whether or not you actually hurt anybody.”

  “I’d find it pretty hurtful to be burgled,” said Julia.

  “Oh, I don’t deny that,” said Philip. “But what about if the thief was in real need. His family was starving. So long as he didn’t make a needless mess, I’d sympathise with him.”

  “You mean the reasons may justify the actions?” Duffy clarified his comment.

  “Yes, I think so. If you steal out of need from someone who can afford it, I think you are justified. If you smash up someone’s belongings out of jealousy, that’s different.”

  “Society would break down if the law didn’t punish thieves just because they were poor and their victims were rich,” Percy said.

  “Well, if I was in desperate need I’d rob a bank. You can’t hurt an institution.”

  “Just don’t do it whilst Anna’s around!” said Toby.

  “And hope that Percy isn’t the judge. He’d hang you for it!” said Julia. “You are a heartless brute, Percy.”

  “He’s not. He’s quite right.” Warren spoke for the first time. “And Philip’s right too. They are just talking from different points of view. From a moral point of view, what matters is not what you do but what your reasons are for doing it. It may be worse to lend someone money in the hope of getting a hold over them than it is to steal from them. But from a social point of view, what matters must be your actions.”

  “Toby’s looking bewildered. I think we’d better feed him.” Percy returned to his kitchen.

  For Anna, the evening was worthwhile just for that informative discussion. It was certainly the high point; over dinner everyone reverted to the time-honoured custom, so reviled by Andrew, of each talking about their own concerns and barely listening to what the others had to say. Toby and Julia were the worst culprits, and they dominated the conversation. Jane Duff was also a person who seemed to like the sound of her own voice and, Anna thought, had a tendency to pontificate. Warren, on the other hand, was particularly quiet and barely spoke during the whole meal. But Anna noticed that the few comments he did make were astute. He was a man of few, but carefully chosen, words, and she could not help admiring him.

  Anna was seated between Toby and Percy and she quite deliberately concentrated on Toby’s merry and entertaining monologue and left Percy free for Caroline. However, by the time they had reached the port stage she felt obliged to talk to hi
m.

  “You really are a quite excellent cook.”

  “I enjoy cooking.”

  “I can’t say that. I do. Bill has turned out to be a keen cook, which is as surprising as it is useful.”

  “He is one of the twins you took on?”

  “Yes. They are very nice lads.”

  “They were bank robbers for a good, morally acceptable reason?” He referred to their earlier conversation with a wry smile.

  “Well, I don’t know about that. I think they were bored and thought it was fun. Probably the worst reason possible. But I firmly believe that they won’t stray from the path again.”

  “Do you like living in London?”

  Anna thought how nice it was to have someone taking such an interest in her little affairs and decided that he really must have taken a fancy to her.

  “I don’t mind. There’s a lot that I miss. Especially the garden. I was never much of a gardener myself. I didn’t know all the Latin names. I just liked watching everything grow.”

  “I like flowers. I used to paint them. I don’t always admit as much. In fact, I hide the pictures!”

  “What a surprising young man you are, Percy.”

  “Am I? Good! I’d hate to be thought commonplace.”

  “You must miss not having a garden?”

  “No. But only because I’ve never had one of my own. I once did a sketch of the sort of garden I’d like; very formal, lots of clipped hedges and yew trees, and an elegant statue at the end of an avenue of trees.”

  “Now I should hate that. I don’t even like the formal informality of Capability Brown. I like the English cottage garden; lupins, delphiniums, antirrhinums, all muddled in with beans and cabbages. You’d probably have the beans lined up like soldiers on parade with canes to tell them in which direction