Surprise Double Delivery
Page 9
He eyed Alexa.
‘You okay?’ he asked anyway, because he was a fool who hadn’t learnt a thing.
‘I’ve already said I’m fine,’ she said, but there was no heat in the words. If she were feeling herself, there definitely would have been heat in the words.
‘It’s just that—’ he tried not to show his surprise that she’d continued ‘—this is turning out to be a lot harder than I thought it would be. Everything is,’ she said in an uncharacteristically small voice as she lifted her head. ‘I wanted to get Cherise to work for me so I could go on maternity leave without worrying I was ruining my restaurant by having a baby. Leaving it vulnerable in some way. Maybe even to you and Lee. Now I have to do this course with you.’ She looked up at him. Her eyes were gleaming, but sharp. ‘No offence.’
He wondered if he should dignify that with a response.
‘Why can’t anything be simple?’ she whispered now. ‘Why can’t I have a family that doesn’t suck? Why couldn’t my chef have stayed on so that I wouldn’t have this stress during my pregnancy? Why couldn’t...?’
She exhaled. Waved a hand.
‘I’m fine.’
‘Clearly.’
She gave him a dark look. He preferred it to the sadness.
‘I can’t help you with—’
‘Any of it,’ she interrupted. ‘You can’t help me with any of it. But I appreciate the effort.’
‘I wasn’t going to say that.’
‘Oh, I know,’ she said, straightening now. She took a deep sip of water, but kept her gaze on him. ‘I know what you were going to say, Benjamin. It was going to be about what you could help me with. You might even have been considering stepping out of this race with Cherise because things would be easier for me then.’
‘I wasn’t—’
She cut him off with a single raised eyebrow. And because, of course, he was.
‘Where would it leave you, Benjamin?’ she asked softly. ‘You’d have to look for another chef. You’d have to answer to my brother. You’re clearly letting your personal feelings override how you feel professionally.’
‘There are no personal feelings.’
She looked at him strangely. The confusion cleared in seconds.
‘Oh, no, I don’t mean for me. Of course not.’ There was a beat. ‘I meant you’re letting your desire to fix things for people cloud your professional opinion. Which should be that you should do that three-day course and fight to have her work for you.’
She grabbed her purse, threw some notes onto the table.
‘That’s what I’ll be doing.’
Then she was gone.
He sat, bemused, until the waiter came to the table, saw the money Alexa had left, and asked if he wanted the bill. He said yes, stuffed her notes in his wallet, and paid with his card. Then he walked. Not to his car, where he probably should have gone. He had work to do.
But his thoughts demanded that he pay them heed, and he couldn’t do that when he was driving, or working. So he walked. Away from the bustle of the Waterfront, where tourists shopped and locals ate. Down, past the docks, until he was simply walking along the edge of the Waterfront, waves splashing against the rocks beyond the railing.
The conversation he’d had with Alexa...
Well, he couldn’t exactly call it a conversation. More a monologue, with the occasional pauses. He couldn’t be upset with her though; she was right. There’d been a moment, and not a brief one, where he’d thought about giving up the fight for Cherise.
A lot about that bothered him. The first was, simply, that it was stupid. He’d spent a long time trying to find her. Speaking with his contacts at restaurants she’d worked in and at the Institute. Making sure she had the skills a chef in his kitchen would need.
He’d started out as the head chef, back when Lee had reached out to him years ago. Though that was tainted now with the knowledge that Lee had done it to get back at Alexa, Benjamin could still recognise his luck. Because Lee had been the one to help him make the transition once he’d discovered his passion went beyond the kitchen.
Since Lee had multiple businesses, he couldn’t invest much time in the restaurant. So when Benjamin had decided to switch gears and spoken to Lee about his desire to branch out, Lee had offered to train him. For two years, they’d done just that. This was the first year he’d taken on the responsibility fully, and he wanted to make Lee proud. Hell, he wanted to make himself proud. Giving away his chance because he wanted to help out a woman who didn’t need his help was definitely stupid.
The second thing that bothered him about wanting to was that she’d seen through him. She had the uncanny ability to do so, which she’d displayed at lunch today and at the quarry the other night. He could blame the ability on the fact that she didn’t seem to want his help. Despite what he’d first thought about her, Alexa wasn’t using him. If she was, she would have said it by now. She was disturbingly honest like that.
Which was why he couldn’t be dishonest with himself when it came to her. She didn’t see through him because she didn’t want his help. Well, not only because of that. It was also because she knew him, could see him, and he didn’t like it.
He had a persona to maintain. An important one. The moment his parents realised he felt responsible for looking after them, they’d stop him from doing so. The moment his mother saw that he’d seen another future for himself because of the fake relationship with Alexa, she’d do anything she could for him to have it.
But he couldn’t have it. It wasn’t compatible with living at home, helping his father around the house, spending time with his mother. If Alexa saw through him, she might see the things he didn’t want anyone knowing, too. What if she mentioned it to his mother? To his father? And just because she wasn’t using him now didn’t mean she never would. Look at what his friends had done. His cousins.
They pretended to spend time with him, be his friend, but they only wanted things. Money, free food, help with an event. It was predictable in its consistency. As predictable as his ability to fall for it. Because they needed him.
He had reasons to stay away from Alexa. To not give in to the pull he felt between them. Good reasons. Professional and personal reasons. He only had one reason to see her: he had to get Cherise to work for him.
One more reason, a voice in his head reminded him. He almost groaned.
Yes, he had one more reason to see her. He was also supposed to be in a relationship with her.
Chapter 10
A fortnight later Alexa arrived at the Institute early, ready to get the first day of the course over with. Perhaps not a winning attitude, but the best one she could muster under the circumstances. She’d been to the doctor the day before for her thirteen-week appointment. Apparently, she’d been blessed with twins.
It did not seem like a blessing at that moment.
She’d known it was a possibility, of course. She’d read many articles about fertility treatments; her doctor had pretty much repeated the information to her verbatim. But she hadn’t once considered that she’d have twins. Twins weren’t for someone who needed to find a chef for her business so it wouldn’t fail or be vulnerable to attacks by a sibling or for someone who didn’t know how to raise one child, let alone two. Two! What had she done to deserve this?
Well, a voice in her brain said, quite reasonably, you’re at odds with your family. You’re pretending to date a man and lying to the people you care about. Your only friend isn’t talking to you because of the lie, and you refuse to tell her the truth. You also haven’t told her you’re pregnant—with twins—and you’ve pushed away anyone who could possibly come to care about you.
It was a long list of her flaws. Surprisingly long, considering her own head had provided them. Although that the list was there at all wasn’t a surprise. She wasn’t perfect. The fact that she was prickly, bull-headed,
and stubborn wasn’t news. But since those characteristics had helped her survive her family and build her business, she could see the good in them, too.
So maybe twins were her punishment for her irreverence.
Not that her children were a punishment. Of course not.
‘Sorry,’ she murmured to them. ‘I’m just surprised. And worried. What if I’m not a good mother to you? There are two of you now, so I’ll be screwing up twice as much.’
She let out a huge breath, and sipped the herbal tea she’d bought before she’d left for the Institute. The warmth of it gave her some much-needed comfort. The rap on her window did not—nor did seeing who it was.
She opened the window. ‘I’ll be sending you my hospital bills.’
Benjamin gave her a half-smile, almost as if he expected her to give him a hard time. Almost as if he liked it. ‘For what?’
‘My heart attack.’
She grabbed her things, closed the window, and got out of the car. He hadn’t moved far away, so when she turned, she found herself in his bubble. His musky scent didn’t make her nauseous, as she’d expected it to, since it was in the window of her morning illness time. Maybe because her other body parts had woken up and decided to respond to it.
When she’d read that pregnancy would make her more...sensitive, she’d laughed. She hadn’t been sensitive to anyone in such a long time. She couldn’t even remember who the last person she’d been sensitive to was. And yet what she was feeling now was anything but amusement. She was incredibly aware of the smell of him. Incredibly aware of his body only centimetres from hers.
He looked delicious in his black T-shirt and jeans; his standard outfit in the kitchen, even when they’d been studying. Again, she noticed his shoulders, his chest. His body was muscular and strong and she wondered what it would be like if he scooped her into his arms. Would she feel light, even now, pregnant with twins? Would she be annoyed that he’d dare do it?
Or would she be amused, attracted? A playful combination of both that would have her inching forward to kiss him...?
‘Oh,’ she said, and leaned back against the car.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked, moving even closer.
‘Yeah. You’re just...um...awfully close.’
He looked down, seemingly only noticing it now. His lips curved into a smile that had her heart racing. Not because it was sexy and sly. Of course not. It was because she knew what that slyness meant.
‘Are you having a tough time because I’m close to you, Alexa?’
Oh, no. He was speaking in a low voice that was even more seductive than the smile.
‘No.’ She cleared her throat when the word came out huskily. ‘I’m having a hard time because I’m pregnant. I need air and space and...stuff,’ she finished lamely.
It was a pity. He’d believed her until she’d said that. Now he was smirking, which was quite annoying. But it gave her an idea.
‘It’s probably good that I’m close to you though. I’m so dizzy.’
She braced herself, then rested her head on his chest. The bracing didn’t help. Not when his arms automatically went around her, holding her tighter against him. His heart thudded against her cheek, her own heart echoing. She closed her eyes as she realised her mistake.
‘It’s okay,’ he said softly. ‘I’ve got you.’
The words had a lump growing in her throat. She looked up, defiantly, she thought, because she didn’t need him to have her. But she completely melted at his expression. It was soft and concerned and protective. Then he ran the back of his finger over her cheek, his gaze slipping to her lips, and she was melting, all right, but for the wrong reasons.
‘I should...sit down.’
‘Yeah,’ he said shakily, stepping away.
He’d been as affected as she had.
She wrapped her hands around her cup. How was she still holding it? How hadn’t she dumped it all over Benjamin? She began to walk over the strip of stones that separated the car park and the grass. They settled on the bench under a large tree metres away, and she sighed at the view of the vineyard. Bright green and dark green with the brown of the sand stretching out in front of them. At the very end of the vineyard rose a mountain; tall and solid, it enclosed the area and made everything seem private. With the quiet of the early morning settling over them, Alexa realised she hadn’t come early to get the day over with as much as she’d come for this.
She could remember the days she’d done the same thing when she’d been studying. She’d still been living at home, paying her parents for the pleasure with the little she earned working part-time as a kitchen hand. She couldn’t wait to escape to this beautiful place every weekday. Away from the attention her parents had lavished on her about her goals in life. Goals that weren’t aligned with the ones they’d had for her life, which was why they had kept pushing.
Pushing and pushing, until she had been sure she would fall over from the stress of it.
‘Is it better now?’
‘Hmm?’ She looked over at him. Blinked. ‘Oh, the dizziness? Yes. Tons.’
He smiled, but apparently knew better than to comment. ‘What distracted you just now?’
‘I used to love coming here early. It’s so beautiful, and peaceful.’ She exhaled, forcing out the bad memories that came with the good ones.
‘It really is something,’ he agreed. Except he was looking at her. Intensely.
She cleared her throat. ‘Is...um...is this why you’re here so early?’
‘You know what they say. Early bird gets the best view.’
‘And maybe the station third from the front.’ She laughed at his expression. ‘We all know that one’s the best.’
‘Not true. Station seven is.’
‘Station seven’s left stove plate can’t simmer.’
He laughed. ‘How do you know this place so well?’
‘You mean, how is it that you can’t fool me?’ She gave him an amused look. ‘I pay attention.’
‘Yeah,’ he said softly. ‘You do.’
Somehow, she didn’t think he was referring to the stove. She sipped her tea instead of asking him, and nearly spat it out again when he said, ‘You’ve grown.’
Swallowing it back down proved challenging.
‘What do you mean?’
‘Your stomach is bigger,’ he said quickly. Which, of course, she’d known, but it was worth asking the question for that look of panic on his face. She hid her smile with another sip of tea.
‘Yes. This happens when you’re expecting.’
‘It’s only been two weeks. Is it supposed to grow so quickly?’
She laughed lightly. ‘I hope so. But my doctor is happy with everything. I saw her yesterday. I guess growing fast is what happens when you’re expecting two.’
Maybe a part of her had known he would react this way. Multiple blinks, mouth opening and closing, every muscle she could see frozen. He was in shock, and it felt like a vindication of her own reaction. It even made her want to laugh at her own reaction, which was probably as comical as his. No—most likely more. She was the one carrying the twins.
‘Two? As in twins?’
She merely raised her brows in answer.
‘Of course it’s twins. Two are twins.’ He stood, began to pace. ‘You’re sure?’
Though she hadn’t quite anticipated this reaction, she nodded, eager to see where it would go.
‘Man. Twins? Twins.’ His long legs easily strode back and forth over the distance in front of the bench. ‘I can’t believe you’re having two.’
‘I couldn’t either,’ she said slowly, ‘and I’ll actually be the one giving birth to them. Raising them.’
It took him a few moments, but he seemed to understand the implication. He stopped, gave her a sheepish smile.
‘Sorry. I guess for a moment
there I was...’ He broke off, confusion crossing his face. ‘I don’t know what I was doing.’
‘Maybe you imagined what it would be like if we really were dating,’ she offered. ‘Think about it. You started dating a woman who was pregnant, something you didn’t sign up for, but you’re too good a guy to let that keep you from developing a relationship with her. So, hey, maybe you can be a father to one kid if you liked one another enough. But two?’ She gave a slight shake of the head. ‘That would freak anyone out.’
‘Even you?’
She laughed. It sounded a little deranged even to her own ears. Not that that kept her from answering.
‘I always wanted a family. A good one, I mean. I realised about a year ago that I could only create that for myself. I couldn’t rely on my own family for that.’ She stared at that green in the distance, letting herself speak. She needed to say it out loud. ‘I thought someday I’d have another. I’d teach them to cherish one another. To be each other’s best friend, not competition. Not like my relationship with Lee. They would be different, how I dreamt siblings would be—always there for each other, so they would always know love.’
She rested her hands on her stomach. On the two lives growing there.
‘But I would have time between them. Two right away? It’s scary. What if I’m not cut out for this?’
She exhaled sharply; shook her head sharply. Now wasn’t the time to have a breakdown. She’d only found out about the twins the day before, and clearly she needed to process. But she wouldn’t do it now, in front of him. Well, more in front of him than she already had done. She wouldn’t say anything about her fear of her restaurant failing. Or failing the people who relied on her there. Less because she felt it—although she did—and more because she knew he’d feel sorry for her. Based on his expression now, he already did. And her pregnancy didn’t even involve him.