Surprise Double Delivery

by Therese Beharrie

  ‘No matter what you think of me, I wouldn’t ask you to move out of your own house.’

  ‘You’re not. It’s my decision.’ It was the last vestige of control he apparently had in this relationship. This time, if things were ending he wanted it to be on his terms.

  Chapter 11

  When Cal had left, Izzy had thought she’d never stop crying. Somehow she’d managed to throw away her one chance of a real family. Her own damn insecurities and inability to trust had caused him to cast her in the same mould as Janet. She couldn’t blame him when he’d given her everything and all she’d done was take. The irony was that the second he walked out the door she knew exactly what she wanted. Cal. The babies. A family.

  The only ember of hope she had left that that could still be a possibility was that he hadn’t thrown her out on the street. It was typical of Cal to let her stay in his house and make himself temporarily homeless, even when he was mad at her. She didn’t know why she’d ever doubted his integrity. Oh, wait, it probably had something to do with a series of unreliable guardians and one flaky boyfriend. Things that had absolutely nothing to do with Cal and everything to do with her personal baggage.

  It had been days now since he’d walked out, and she felt every second of it. She’d grieved more over losing Cal than she had for Gerry. Which highlighted the differences between the two relationships and the two men involved. Not to mention the strength of the love in her heart for one over the other.

  The relief and renewed sense of purpose she’d expected on her return to work had been overshadowed by the sadness at seeing Cal there, not being able to touch him or tell him how much she loved him. She didn’t even know where he’d been staying because he hadn’t stopped long enough to utter more than two words to her. He could barely look at her and she didn’t know what she could do to fix everything she’d broken.

  Every time she tried to initiate a conversation he’d simply say, ‘Not here, not now,’ and expect her to back off without complaint, and she had done until now.

  They couldn’t carry on avoiding each other for ever. She cornered him in the staffroom, which he had a habit of retreating into so he could avoid her in the radio room. One of her dagger looks in the direction of the other crew members he was using as cover and they scurried off, knowing where they weren’t wanted.

  Izzy stood in the doorway, blocking Cal’s escape route, so he had no choice but to acknowledge her or attempt to push past her, and he was too much of a gentleman to do that.

  ‘Cal, please talk to me. Shout at me, tell me to get out of your house or kiss me senseless and tell me we can work this out. Anything has to be better than this limbo we’re in.’ Okay, that last one was more of a fantasy than an option, but she’d spent these last days running through every scenario and that was the one she preferred.

  ‘This isn’t—’

  ‘Don’t tell me this isn’t the time or the place when you haven’t given me any choice. You can’t stay away from your own house indefinitely and we can’t go on ignoring each other at work. It’s killing me.’ It wasn’t fair to leave her wondering if they still had a chance if he’d already made his mind up it was over. If they couldn’t resolve the issues she’d caused she’d have to do something drastic, like leave her job rather than seeing him every day and realising what she’d thrown away. With the babies coming, job security wasn’t something she took lightly but there was no way she could carry on here with a reminder of everything she’d lost staring her in the face every day.

  ‘You don’t think those things you said to me didn’t almost destroy me? I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a little time out when you accused me of being some sort of conman simply because I loved you?’

  He tossed the newspaper he’d been reading onto the chair as he got to his feet and slammed his coffee cup on the table, sloshing the contents everywhere. Cal had every reason to be angry and Izzy was almost grateful to see this blazing fire in his eyes that said all might not be lost after all. He’d said he’d loved her and that wasn’t something a person could turn on and off at will. Whilst she was still able to rouse such a passionate display of emotion in him there was hope he hadn’t stopped loving her altogether.

  ‘I was scared, Cal, afraid history was going to repeat itself. That my dream of my little family was going to be taken from me again.’ Her voice was cracking with the threat of tears, not at the memory of how people had treated her in the past but because she’d got it so wrong this time. She’d let the past steal away the one person who had actually loved her.

  Cal took a step forward and for a moment she almost believed he was going to take her into his arms and tell her everything would be all right. Then the alarm rang out for all standby crew to head to the hangar and any notion of a reconciliation vanished.

  ‘I have to go.’

  There was never any doubt a call would take priority over Izzy, but she didn’t want to let him go without some assurance that they’d made some progress today after she’d opened her heart to him. ‘But you’ll come and see me when you get back, yes?’

  He looked as though he was about to refuse her, and she had to swallow the ball of disappointment lodged in her throat. Then he gave a quick nod before disappearing out the door.

  That one spark of hope that she could salvage her relationship with Cal, along with the future for her and her children she’d been afraid was too good to be true, let her breathe again. Suddenly all that pent-up tension and worry ebbed away, taking with it what little energy she had and leaving her doubled over like a ragdoll.

  Pain zipped across her belly, along with the feeling of being caught in a vice. Contractions weren’t to be expected at this stage, it was too early. She tried to call out for Cal, but another sharp pain stole her breath away. Tears blurred her vision as she staggered over to grip the chair he’d vacated only moments earlier. Another spike of agony and with it a trickle of fluid running down the inside of her leg. Her waters had broken.

  This was everything she’d feared come true. The twins wouldn’t survive being born now and she was frightened and alone. She needed Cal.

  * * *

  ‘Isobel Fitzpatrick. Where is she?’ Cal knew he’d probably broken all kind of rules in his desperate hurry to get to the hospital, but he didn’t care about anything other than getting to Izzy.

  ‘Are you her partner?’ The woman at the desk didn’t seem to understand the urgency of the matter as she kept tip-tapping away at the computer instead of immediately whisking him through to Izzy’s bedside.

  He leaned on the desk, trying not to act on the impulse to swipe everything on the floor. ‘Yes. Her waters have broken.’ Get me to her now!

  Saying the words made his stomach roll again the way it had been doing since Mac had broken the news to him that she’d been taken to hospital. As soon as he’d heard that on his arrival back at base, he’d jumped to his car and high-tailed it to the hospital, cursing himself for not staying with her earlier. If he’d stayed to have that talk with her he would’ve been there for her. He would’ve been the one to get her the help she needed and comfort her when she would’ve been frightened about what was going to happen to the babies.

  Then again, if he hadn’t moved out in the first place he might’ve seen the signs something was wrong earlier, but he’d been too busy licking his wounds in a budget hotel for the past few days to notice. He hadn’t even taken the time to check in with her at work to make sure she was eating properly and looking after herself because of his damn pride.

  Yes, she’d questioned his commitment to their family, as he had done during his time out, but he hadn’t stopped loving her. He wanted the best for her and the babies and should have prioritised their welfare over his bruised ego. Now the stress he’d put her through, thinking he was going to leave her, had probably caused her to miscarry, as the babies wouldn’t be considered viable at this stage and there
would be no medical intervention to strengthen their lungs. They were already so precious to him and Izzy. If it wasn’t for those babies the two of them would never have realised how much they loved one another.

  ‘Are you Cal?’ A nurse at the desk seemed to take more interest in his arrival than the woman he was talking to.

  ‘Yes. I’m looking for Isobel Fitzpatrick. I was told she’d been brought here.’ If someone didn’t take him to her soon he was going to do a loop of the corridors yelling her name until she answered him back.

  ‘She’s been asking for you. Come with me.’ The nurse exchanged a few words with the receptionist before marching him down towards one of the wards.

  The fact Izzy hadn’t sent out an alert to the staff, banning him from the premises, was promising that she was willing to forgive him for walking out on her the way he had. Although that could change if the babies came early and suffered as a consequence. He would never forgive himself if the worst happened so he wouldn’t blame her if she never wanted to see him again in those circumstances.

  ‘How is she?’ He was running after the nurse, begging for more information like any other anxious partner or father-to-be.

  ‘Frightened, tearful, and stubbornly refusing to let these babies come early.’ The half-smile gave him an idea of how hard Izzy was fighting to stay in control of this pregnancy.

  Good.

  ‘That’s my Iz.’ Those babies needed to hold on as long as possible. If they couldn’t stop the labour the babies wouldn’t survive, and it would be the same outcome if too much amniotic fluid had been lost. It was simply too early to do anything other than wait. There were so many things that could go wrong at this stage, but he knew everyone here would be keeping Izzy calm and comfortable until they had a clearer picture of what was going on.

  ‘In here.’ The nurse opened the door and led him into a side room where Izzy was lying on the bed. As soon as she saw him she burst into floods of tears as though she’d been holding them back all this time, waiting for him to come and be strong for her.

  ‘Oh, Fizz, sweetheart.’ He was on the verge of breaking down himself, seeing her lying there vulnerable and helpless and so unlike the woman he knew and loved.

  ‘Cal? I’m so glad you’re here...’ She stretched her hand out toward him before lapsing into more sobs. He took the seat by the bed and smoothed her hair back from her forehead.

  ‘Shh. It’s all right. Everything’s going to be okay.’ It had to be.

  ‘This is my fault. You told me I was overdoing it and I wouldn’t listen. I’m just too damn stubborn for my own good and now we’re going to lose the babies.’

  ‘Now, if anyone’s to blame, it’s me. I shouldn’t have left you on your own. I’m so sorry.’ He kissed her forehead, refusing to let her feel guilty when he’d been the one who’d made her worry she might have to find somewhere else to live with their two children before they’d even been born. Now he’d happily hand over the keys to his house for ever if it would ease her mind and stop this nightmare.

  ‘We’ve already talked about this, Isobel. This isn’t anyone’s fault. It happens. Now, the scan showed that both heartbeats are strong and though baby number two is surrounded by less amniotic fluid than baby number one, there’s still plenty there. We’ll keep an eye on that but hopefully, if there’s no further leak and no sign of infection, we’ll be able to send you home soon.’ The midwife did her best to comfort them, but Cal knew that was a lot of ifs. The statistics weren’t in their favour for survival when the amniotic sac had ruptured this early, but Izzy Fitzpatrick was much more than a statistic.

  ‘Thank you.’ He was grateful they’d been here for Izzy when he hadn’t, and luckily Mac had been the one to convince her to get to the hospital without delay. It meant they had every chance of getting the right outcome for Izzy and the babies.

  ‘I’ll leave her in your capable hands while I go and see about these test results and getting some antibiotics. Press this buzzer if you need any assistance in the meantime.’ The attentive midwife unhooked the buzzer from behind the bed and left it on the bed for Izzy. It was a moment of privacy and a chance for a conversation he was no longer willing to avoid.

  ‘Thank you for coming, Cal—’

  ‘I’m so sorry for everything, Izzy—’

  Their words tumbled over each other and he knew it was because of the seriousness of the situation. All the stuff that had caused the rift between them no longer mattered. They smiled at each other and she reached for his hand again.

  ‘I thought I’d lost you.’

  ‘Never. I was hurt but I meant it when I told you I’d never abandon you, Izzy. I love you. I don’t care if you don’t feel the same way about me, I just want to know you’re all okay.’ He was willing to put his feelings aside if that’s what she wanted, if it meant he could remain in her life.

  ‘Of course I love you, but I saw the way you looked at Janet with the baby. I thought you’d still rather be with them than us.’

  He shook his head vigorously, unable to believe she could ever think that when everything he’d ever wanted was right here. ‘Seeing them made me realise how lucky I was to have you. I never loved her the way I love you, Izzy. I can’t wait to raise our family together.’

  ‘Does this mean you’ll move back home?’ She was smiling now, those worry lines having faded away along with her tears.

  ‘Is that what you want?’ He daren’t hope for anything beyond her health and happiness but it would be a relief if she genuinely wanted him with her after these past days convincing himself otherwise.

  * * *

  ‘Yes.’ What Izzy wanted more than anything was to have her babies safely delivered at the right time and to go home, with Cal. She was grateful that Mac had been there at the base to make sure she’d got to hospital as soon as he had, but Cal was the only one she’d wanted.

  Gone were the days when she’d expected to battle these difficult times alone. They were a team and if it hadn’t been for their wobble after the parenting class he would never have moved out. She didn’t want to go through any of this without him.

  ‘Good.’ He gave her an adorable half-smile that made her fall for him all over again. She knew she was in love with him, that was the reason she’d been so scared they weren’t together for the right reasons. Now, having him here after everything she’d accused him of, she knew he was committed to this family. He’d told her he loved her, and this was the proof her twice-burned, baggage-carrying self had demanded before giving herself one hundred per cent to another man.

  ‘I’ve missed you.’ In case he didn’t already know how much he meant to her, she was going to make sure to clarify things before they left this building. The time had passed for misunderstandings and skating around important issues. They needed to be a cohesive unit to face whatever the future held for them and the babies. Their babies.

  ‘I’ve missed you too.’ His voice cracked a little and he gave an embarrassed cough to clear his throat, but it was an emotional time for both of them. She could see he shared her worries about the twins and how close they’d come to losing everything.

  ‘I’m sorry for questioning your motives for being with me. I guess I’m just wary of anyone who claims to love me but that’s not your fault. You’ve done nothing but show me what true love is.’ She’d pre-empted a disastrous relationship and almost willed it into existence because of her past experiences but all that had to change for the sake of her family. As long as Cal still thought she was worth the effort.

  ‘I had a part to play in this whole mess too, thinking I could never make you truly happy and someday you’d walk out on me too. That’s why I was afraid to let myself get close to the babies, thinking I’d never recover if you took them away from me. I guess it’s too late for that anyway. The second I knew you were here I knew I loved you all, wanted to keep you all safe. I’m sorry it took so lon
g for me to work it out, but I know my place is here, with you and the babies.’

  That was everything she wanted to hear, and she could almost feel her body settling down to see out the rest of this pregnancy with him, free from further drama. ‘Well, I’d prefer if we could do that doting partner thing at home.’

  ‘You won’t be allowed to lift a finger, you know. Do you think you can manage that?’ His teasing came with a hint of genuine concern and it was little wonder when she’d been so difficult thus far, but she’d learned her lesson and hoped she’d get a second chance at this whole pampered pregnant lady thing. This time she’d take full advantage of everything Cal was offering.

  ‘Complete bed rest. I swear.’ She crossed her heart and promised to let him fuss over her. After these past days, wandering around that big house on her own, she didn’t know why she’d resisted it this far. It was nice having someone worry about her and want to take care of her for once. A shame it had taken almost losing everything for her to appreciate that instead of fearing it.

  ‘And after the babies are here? What happens then?’ It was clear he was asking in terms of their relationship what would happen next, and though no one could predict the future she could be honest about her hopes for the future.

  ‘I am hoping we live happily ever after. I love you, Cal, and I’m sure the babies will love you too. Can we think of this as our new start, our little family finally coming together?’ It was something they’d both been missing out on and this pregnancy was a gift, giving them everything they’d dreamed about. With Cal in her corner she was optimistic they could persuade these babies to stay put until they were out of the danger zone.

  A smile slowly crept over his face until he was positively beaming. ‘You’ve never said that before.’

  ‘What? That I love you? I think I was afraid to say it out loud and acknowledge those feelings myself. Now I’ve said it out loud, I can’t take it back.’ She gave a little laugh, still nervous about entering into another serious relationship, especially when there were going to be two more wee people affected by her every future decision, but leaping into the unknown with Cal was preferable to a lonely life without him.