BIG SKY

by Wyatt, Dani

  I lower my phone from my ear, feeling sick.

  “Yeah. I’m okay,” I lie.

  I’m not okay. I’m so far from okay. I don’t know my way back to okay.

  I look down at my phone, re-playing over in my head the conversation I just had with Jeffery Conway.

  My eyes are burning and that hole I felt in my chest earlier now feels like the Grand Canyon.

  There was a massive earthquake off the coast of Thailand.

  The assignment has been postponed indefinitely.

  I’m on my way to the airport going nowhere.

  Some days, it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.

  That thought springs new tears to my eyes, remembering where I was and what I was feeling in bed this morning.

  It feels like a world and a lifetime away.

  I called Benjamin one more time after I couldn’t reach Garrett and had to decide before I knew the assignment was canceled.

  The band that’s been tightening around my chest has me fighting for breath, and as we drive by the last pasture leaving the ranch, I look up to see ten cows staring at the van as we pass, a sign on the side of the road reading, “You are now leaving Big Sky Ranch. Thanks for coming.”

  There’s a sharp pain in my chest as I think of the pun that the wording of the sign creates.

  I bite the inside of my cheek but fail to hold back the flood that’s forcing its way out of my eyes.

  Turning toward the other window, the tears begin to flow, blinding me. Blood rushes through my ears, and I stare down at the floor of the van, gripping my knees with my hands.

  How could I be this girl after three days? A sobbing mess over a situation I should have realized was not what it seemed.

  I look up, the stone pillars and gateway marking the end of the ranch property is just ahead. I press my fingertips into my eyes and try not to feel the throb between my legs that still reminds me of what I’ve done.

  And who I’ve done it with.

  I don’t know how much time passes; I am pushing my fingers into my eye sockets until I see stars when I hear Jessie’s voice.

  “Um, ma’am?”

  “Yeah.” I answer, not moving my hands from my face.

  “Thinkin’ you may want to look behind us.”

  I feel the van slow slightly and spin around in my seat, but it takes me a second to make sense of what I see.

  There’s Garrett, on Dorian, galloping up alongside of the van like a madman. As he passes us, Jessie slows, then comes to a stop when he angles in front of us and goes no further, Dorian rearing up on his hind legs and letting out a whinny as Garrett brings him under control. The horse clops back to the dirt, dust flying up around his front hooves, and there’s Garrett, staring at me through the windshield.

  “What the hell?” I grunt. “I can’t take this.” Tears spring new to my eyes as he dismounts. He leads Dorian over to the gate into the pasture, leads him in and closes it behind then grabs a leather satchel off the back of his saddle. He hops the fence and comes to the side of the van, sliding open the door. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going with you.” He tosses the bag onto the floor of the van. “Wherever that is.” He turns quickly to nod at Jessie then adds, “Call up and have Buck come get Dorian. Tell him where he is and to take him back to the barn. I’ll be gone indefinitely.”

  I look at Jessie who sits up straighter in the driver’s seat with a look of amused surprise. “Yes, Sir.” She glances my way then giggles.

  “Are you insane?” I shake my head at Garrett. “You’re not coming with me.”

  “Well, unless you are staying here I am.”

  I turn to Jessie, who looks back at me and shrugs. Garrett is standing outside the open door with one foot up on the opening.

  “I don’t think so. You have your life here, your buffet of girls and I’m not a side dish for anyone.”

  “We’ve got some tangled rope to straighten out, and no matter if I’m going with you or you’re staying here, that needs to happen. What you thought you saw was not what you saw earlier today. That other guest went and took one of our horses out of the barn without permission. I saw her riding in the pasture where she had no business. I rode up there and dealt with that, that’s all.”

  “Really. Does dealing with it include her hands all over you?”

  “How long did you stick around and watch? Because if you had kept your eyes on us, you would have seen me remove her hands and point her in the direction of the stable. I then proceeded to escort her back, give her a very clear understanding of the rules of the ranch, and sent her sulking back to her cabin.”

  “What about the phone? I called you.” My voice cracks. “You said you’d answer. You’d have your phone.”

  I so badly want to believe him, then at the same time I think it would be simpler not to. I can’t set myself up for this kind of heartache. After three days I’m a mess, what happens when I’m too far gone to come back? I won’t even know who I am anymore.

  “I’m an idiot, is what about the phone.” He looks down, then back at me. “I put it in my pocket, turns out it wasn’t even on. I didn’t check it. I never use the damn thing. I just figured it was like the house phone. Someone calls, it rings. You’re going to have to get used to some parts of me being backward, Mary Beth. I’m not from this century.”

  I puff a breath upward and try to gather a clear thought. The sun is shining around him, casing his face in these shadows that remind me of how he looked all last night. The things he said, the things we did, and I hate that my body reacts with a shiver and a flash of desire in my core.

  “Hey.” He looks at Jessie. “Put it in park.” Then back at me. “What time is your flight?”

  I think about lying but can’t. “It’s canceled.”

  “Canceled?” He pushes his hat up on his head, then reaches in and takes my hand. “So, you have time?”

  I nod, not sure what I’m agreeing to.

  “Mary Beth, I’ll get down on my knees if I need to, I’m not a proud man when it comes to you. Come with me. Come with me and talk with me. I told you this morning you’re worth fighting for, and I’m ready for the fight. Just let me set things straight and then you can decide.” He nods, looking at me with those blue eyes that seep into my soul.

  I nod and take his hand, as unsure now whether I’m doing the right thing as I’ve ever been, but the pull toward him is nearly unbearable.

  He looks at Jessie again. “Take the van back. I’ll take care of Dorian. I’ll take her from here.” He tips his head toward his horse, who is now off the road nibbling on grass.

  “I didn’t say I was staying,” I counter as Garrett pulls me out of the van.

  “I didn’t say you were staying either,” He grunts. “She’ll go back to the house. Whatever we decide, I’ll ride you back to the house when we’re done here.”

  He waves Jessie off when my feet touch the ground, shutting the door behind me, and the van turns around on the grass and heads back toward the ranch.

  TWELVE

  Garrett

  I SQUEEZE HER FINGERS as I walk us over to the gate leading into the front pasture behind a wooden fence.

  I can’t let go of Mary Beth. I don’t mean that figuratively, like I won’t let her go. I mean I have one hand on her and I’m literally holding onto what’s mine. I walk over to Dorian and with my free hand I grab the reins, walking us slowly through the pasture. My throat is constricted as I plan every word over and over.

  “Look,” she starts, but I shoot her a glare. I hear defeat in that single word, and I’m shutting that down here and now.

  When I look back at Mary Beth, tears are streaming down her cheeks, and each one cuts into my heart like a rusty blade. I secure Dorian’s reins around his neck and let him go off and munch on the grass.

  “Baby, please don’t cry. We’re going to be okay. Do you believe me about Abigail? Because I’m more than happy to march you right up to her and have her tell you exactl
y what happened. Buck was at the barn when we got back, and he heard everything I said. I’m telling you the truth. I will never be able to look at another woman after you.”

  I run my hands up her arms until they’re resting on her shoulders, and I can feel her quivering under my palms.

  She swipes the back of a hand over her cheeks, and I lean in and take over, kissing away each tear as it falls, feeling like I’m about to snap in two. When I can’t take any more, I lower my mouth to her ear and beg.

  “Please, God, please stop crying. I can’t take it. I’ll do anything for the rest of your life to never see you cry again. Please, baby. Everything is going to be okay, I promise.”

  “How?” She chokes out a restrained sob. “Harriett told me you’re terrified to fly. You have no interest in ever leaving here. My life is not just my work, it’s me. I’m a restless soul. I can’t put down roots in one place and never wander. I’d die. And for you it’s the opposite. You have roots here, I get that, the last thing you want to do is follow me.”

  I step back, pulling her into me as she smacks my chest with her open palms. “Did you not hear what I said when I put my bag in the van? I’m ready to go with you. Right now, you wanna go? We’ll go. Get Jessie and go to the airport. I’ll buy us two tickets anywhere.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Dead. I told you, I don’t know what happened when you stepped foot on this ranch, but you shook the world out from under me. Am I scared to fly? Fuck, yes. Terrified even. Didn’t stop me from packing my bag and running you down, ready to go wherever it is you’re going.”

  “But you’ll be miserable.”

  “Will I be with you?”

  She nods.

  “Then miserable has no chance. Besides, I could use some shaking up. Just ask Harriett. She plum near kicked my ass six ways to Sunday when I got back from moving the cattle.”

  I feel her shoulders drop and her face softens. The tears stop. And thank Christ, because a man can only take so much.

  “Don’t you think this is crazy though? Us? You’d pick up and leave the only life you’ve known for someone you just met. That doesn’t sound sane.”

  “I’m not sane. I’m as insane as I’ve ever been, and you know what?” I lick my lips on a growl. “I’ve never felt more alive. I told you, it’s like I’ve been sleeping and finally woke up from some black and white dream to breathe in the air and see things in color for the first time. Do you think a man like me isn’t sure about something like that? I’m not impulsive, my filly. I’m set in my ways and grouchy, but I know what I know. You were sent to me. By God or the devil or my mamma for all I know. But we are meant to be, it may be a bumpy road, but you can’t enjoy the smooth unless you have the bumpy.”

  Her eyes flick around my face; her mouth half open with unsaid words, because everything in life tells us to question magic.

  “I’m going to say something I’ve never said before except to my mamma and it didn’t mean the same thing.” I take a deep breath, feeling the air fill my lungs. “I love you. Do you hear me? I love you. I didn’t know what that meant until I met you, Filly. But I do now and it’s changed me. I want you to hear that. I love you and it’s changed me. For the better.”

  I move my hands up to tangle in her hair, pulling back and leaning in to kiss her until she’s breathless. My obsession with her grows with every passing second, and whether or not she agrees I should come with her, I’m following her until she realizes this is how it’s going to be. I’m not going anywhere.

  We kiss until we are both shaking, then I pull back, and neither of us speaks for a long moment. I just let the knowledge of what I know we both want sink in.

  When I see a change in her eyes, I know it’s time.

  “Mary Beth.” I drop to my knee, reach into my back pocket and pull out the small box. Her eyes go wide, and her hands cover her mouth. “My mamma was the smartest woman I know. She always told me there’s no shame in being alone. Better to be alone than with the wrong person. But she also said, when the right one comes along, it would be the biggest sort of shame for you not to do everything you can to be together. I promise, from now until my last breath, I will do everything I can for us to be together. Including getting on an airplane. Just marry me and let me show you everything I know we can be.”

  I open the box, my mother’s wedding ring inside, the one she wore for seventy-two years married to my father. The greatest example of a love story and fighting to be together I’ve ever known.

  The tears are back, only this time, they don’t cut into me because I see the flicker of joy in her eyes.

  “Say yes, Filly. I’ve never knelt in front of anyone before, and I gotta tell ya, it’s not comfortable. Say yes and let me get up.”

  “This is crazy.” She shakes her head, then starts to nod, and my heart nearly explodes in my chest. My cock is so hard it could cut glass. “Yes. God, I can’t believe I’m saying this. Yes. I’ll marry you. I love you too. I’ve never said that before either, I mean not like this.”

  “Thank you, Jesus.” I look up at the sky and take the ring out and slip it onto her finger, then get to my feet and wrap her in my arms, crashing my lips into hers until she can’t breathe.

  She looks up at me with a smile on her face as her hands snake around my shoulders. “You know something?” There’s a glint in her eye.

  “I know lots of things. But what do you want me to know?”

  She looks around, then back to me. “I could call this home. I’ve never felt that way before, I’ve lived lots of places, none of them ever mattered to me. But last night and today when we were at your house? For the first time in my life, I thought to myself, this feels like home. Like a place I could come back to for the rest of my life.”

  “It’s your home already. It was the minute you stepped on this land.”

  “If you’ll go with me sometimes, I think I’ll be able to stay here too. We’ll figure it out.”

  “Yes, we will.” I wrap my hands around her ass and tug her into me. “You know what else we’re going to do?”

  She wrinkles her nose and bites her bottom lip. “What on earth could that be?”

  “I’m going to show you.”

  I half drag her over to a bunch of trees and tug her jeans down to her knees. Then I drop my drawers and boxers to my ankles, my erection full-length and dripping for her. I need to be buried inside her warmth. To feel her body take me and milk me and draw me into her.

  Pulling her panties aside, not wanting to take another second, I lift her up and onto me, aligning my cock with her opening as I back her into a big oak, thrusting inside of her, making her cry out as I groan and set myself deep.

  It’s taking all my willpower not to explode inside her. Those green eyes are linked to mine; she’s making these little gasping sounds as I move inside her, her walls clenching and releasing as an orgasm flows through her. She’s so tight, so warm and wet, my balls draw up ready to spend inside of her, but I want to hear her cries of pleasure again.

  Over and over I drive up, moving her body against mine, my hands controlling her, digging into the soft flesh of her ass as her head falls back. She goes silent, and I hold off for another few seconds until her body releases a gush of arousal and she brings her mouth down to my shoulder, screaming into my neck.

  It’s all I can take. I release inside her, filling her with me as I roar and clutch at her. The woman I know is my everything. It doesn’t take months or years to know, you just know.

  When we come down, I lift her off my cock and set her down, pulling up her pants and then my own.

  “I’m a bit of a mess.”

  “Get used to it. I want you walking around with me dripping out of you for the rest of our lives. No other man will come near you, Mary Beth, you’ve done something to me. I’m a jealous, possessive monster. You’ve done that to me. My scent, my mark, will be on you every day.” My words surprise even me.

  “Well, I guess I’m jumping off the cliff.
” She looks down at her hand, the ring sparkling in the sun.

  I pull her close, hands in her hair. “We’re jumping off together.”

  THIRTEEN

  Garrett

  Epilogue One

  TWO MONTHS LATER

  “They need to make bathrooms on airplanes bigger,” I curse under my breath as we pull down the long drive into the ranch from the airport.

  “Well, you seem to figure out how to make it work. Although, pretty soon things could get ugly.” Mary Beth smiles and one hand rubs her belly.

  “Nothing about you could ever be ugly.” I squeeze her fingers. “I can’t wait until you’re showing. I want the world to know who fucked that baby into your belly.”

  She giggles as the house approaches. It’s nearly midnight, but the porch light is on and there were a few dim lights in the cabins as we drove past.

  “For a God fearin’, prayin’ man, you do know how to talk dirty.”

  “God loves love, that’s all I know. And I love you.”

  I park the truck and hop out, coming around to her side and opening the door. When I help her down, I pull her against me, then back her up against the truck, kissing her hard.

  She moans and I push myself against her stomach so she can feel how hard I am for her.

  “I need you again,” I grunt into her neck and start kissing her there.

  “You’re insatiable.”

  “I waited a long damn time for you. I saved up.”

  “You’d put most twenty-year-old guys to shame.”

  She’s probably right. We haven’t been apart more than a day in two months and every day we are on each other in one way or another multiple times. On the plane we managed to fuck twice in the bathroom, and I kept my hand under the blanket fingering her half the time we were in our seats.

  The flight back from Nepal was about fifteen hours, and I’m about to do the one thing I wasn’t able to do on the plane, because her pussy is my muse and I need a taste.

  I scoop her up and carry her up the stairs and into the house, setting her on the leather sofa after kicking the door closed behind us.