Her Defender (MacLachlan Security Group Book 2)

by Rianna Campbell

  “It’s nothing,” Janie said, looking away and trying to brush it off. He could see the wheels turning and whatever she was thinking it wasn’t good. Which meant it was all wrong.

  “Whatever you’re thinking, stop,” he said sternly, taking her face in his hands and tilting it toward him. She kept her eyes averted, but he waited patiently until she looked at him. When she did he smiled at her and kissed her softly, using every ounce of willpower he had to stop there.

  “You are, by far, the sexiest, funniest, mouthiest woman I’ve ever met.” He said. He took a deep breath and continued. “And there is nothing, and I mean nothing, I’d like more than to carry you upstairs and fuck you ‘til the sun comes up.”

  Her eyes went wide and she swallowed hard. He couldn’t help the small smile that played across his mouth.

  “But, we’re supposed to be getting to know each other right now,” he reminded her. She gave him a skeptical look, as if she thought he was trying to pull something over on her.

  To prove his point, he stood up, putting her face to face with the bulge in his pants. He took her hand and kissed her palm before placing it gently on his erection.

  “If this doesn’t tell you how much I want you, then I don’t know what would,” he said seriously. She blushed and looked away.

  “So, you’re just going to eat and run?” she said finally, smiling slightly.

  It took him a minute, but when he understood he couldn’t contain the laugh that bubbled up.

  “Well, it sounds rude when you put it like that,” he laughed. “But I’m not runnin’, baby girl,” he added softly. He offered her a hand and she took it, standing up and pulling her skirt back into place. He hated to see it, but it was necessary.

  He was pleased that she didn’t let go of his hand and instead walked him to the door. He grabbed his coat on the way but didn’t put it on. He didn’t want to let go of her, and he figured some cool air would be good for him.

  As they stood at the door, he kissed her one more time, just a sweet press of his lips on hers and promised to get in touch tomorrow. She wished him goodnight and finally let go of his hand.

  He stepped into the cool April night and ran a hand through his hair. He hopped into the Range Rover, tossed his coat into the back seat and started the engine.

  Here he was, driving home with a hard-on. Again.

  If he could show Janie he was worth taking a chance on, all the frustration in the world would be worth it. He wanted her for weeks, months, years, not just hours. If this is what it took, he’d do it gladly.

  At least after tonight he had a better idea why Janie was so skittish about commitment. From what she’d told him, and what he’d seen, her father had never been there for her the way he should have been and her step mother, who had once seemed to love her like a daughter, had turned vicious.

  That was enough to give anyone trust issues for sure. He remembered Alexandra’s advice and it made all kinds of sense. He needed to gain her trust, and he needed to deserve it. It wasn’t something she was going to give lightly, and it was something that wouldn’t be an easy thing to fix if he ever broke it. It might even be impossible.

  He had better not screw this up because he might not get a second chance. Which meant he probably shouldn’t arrange a private meeting with her father and beat him to a bloody pulp for the hell he’d put her through.

  It might make him feel better, but it probably wouldn’t go over well with Janie. But if she’d give him the chance, he’d do whatever he could to give her everything she deserved. Attention, affection, support, lo-

  He stopped himself from even thinking it.

  You’re getting way ahead of yourself, buddy. She’s not even sure she likes you yet…

  ✽✽✽

  She definitely liked him. More than she should considering all her concerns were still totally valid. Things would still probably go south, and when they did it would be super weird. But, she liked him. A lot. And that made it all too easy to forget everything and just go with her raging hormones.

  That was the problem. She’d known from the beginning that Jackson wouldn’t just be a hook-up, that he couldn’t be. She’d liked him from the beginning. He’d caught her attention even before she knew who he was.

  She could still remember the first time she’d seen him in the lobby of their office building. She’d connected the dots later on, but he must have just dropped Alexandra off at work that day when she’d seen him leaving the building as she came in. She’d nearly dropped the coffees she’d been carrying.

  Then she’d met him at Alexandra’s party and she’d heard him talk about his family and joke around with his friends. And he’d clearly gotten Alexandra’s seal of approval. She was a goner then and there. Which was why she’d immediately decided he was off limits.

  Everything between then and now had just been damage control. She was so far beyond that now that she was at a complete loss as to how to handle this.

  These were the thoughts that consumed her as she lay in bed, not sleeping. It was either this, or replay what had happened in the living room, and that was counterproductive. Delicious and sexy and completely amazing, but decidedly unhelpful.

  She tried to think about things rationally. Considering where they were now, what they’d done, if she ended things right here the situation would still be pretty weird. She didn’t want to end things here.

  But how much harder would it be if things progressed? If they actually dated, the longer it went on the harder and more awkward things would get. Of course this was all bullshit, and she knew it.

  There, in the dark of her bedroom and the quiet of the empty house, she finally admitted to herself the real problem. She was afraid. She was afraid to lose control. She’d spent most of her life trying to avoid giving anyone the power to hurt her again, either by rejecting her or eventually leaving her. She’d practically cut off her family, she only dated casually, never with a long-term goal. She didn’t even have many friends.

  She was a coward, pure and simple. She didn’t want to get hurt. She didn’t want another person to abandon her the way everyone else in her life had. It was hard to admit, but it was the truth. One of the first things Bonnie had drilled into her head when they’d met was that she had to be honest with herself.

  Until now, it hadn’t been too difficult. She’d made it her policy to be honest, even brutally so, with herself and others. From there, it was usually pretty clear what the best choice was.

  Janie would never claim to have always made the best choice, but she was usually pretty good about keeping a level head, even when she made a mistake. She’d never gotten herself into a jam that she couldn’t find her way out of. But this…

  She knew the smart thing would be to cut her losses and end things with Jackson as cleanly as possible. She could go back to her life and he could find a nice girl who would be a good girlfriend, and eventually a good wife.

  Janie had been living in survival mode for so long that she’d never even considered whether marriage and babies was something she wanted. Now, thinking about Jackson getting married and having kids, she felt a pang of envy. Jackson would make the right girl a wonderful husband and his kids would be fucking adorable. They’d have his dark hair and brown eyes, and little dimples when they smiled.

  She suddenly pictured a sweet little girl with brown curls and green eyes with freckles on her nose and her chest constricted. Janie allowed herself to consider, just for a moment, if maybe she did want those things for herself.

  She certainly didn’t hate the idea. And by God, if she did have kids someday, she’d make sure they knew they were loved. She’d be at every soccer game, every dance recital, every school play and talent show. She’d tell them every day that she was proud of them.

  Janie couldn’t even believe she was thinking about this, but when she considered the alternative- really thought about what it would be like to be alone forever- there was no denying the appeal.

  The ide
a of going back to her life of doing exactly what she wanted, when she wanted and with whom, only to come home each night to an empty, silent house, filled her with a sense of loneliness. It just made her sad.

  How had she gotten to this point without realizing how insulated and solitary her life had become? She and Bonnie would certainly have plenty to talk about next time she called.

  She obviously had a choice to make: she could go back to her old life, alone, or she could actually try. If she chose to try, there was only one person she’d want to try with, but she didn’t know if she was brave enough to trust him, no matter how much she wanted to.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Janie was ashamed of how excited she was when Jackson finally texted her the next morning. She’d told herself not to worry about whether or not he would actually text her. Most guys said they’d call the next day and they never did. She’d never sweated it before, and she shouldn’t be worrying about it now.

  That was stupid, of course, because as she’d established during her long, sleepless night, Jackson seemed to be the exception to all her rules. Of course she was going to worry about whether or not he’d text.

  Still, she’d reasoned, he was an adult with a job, just like her, and she told herself not to expect anything until after work. Which didn’t stop her from checking her phone every time it made a noise.

  When he finally did text, she was thrilled despite herself, until she actually read it.

  JH:Good morning, baby girl. ;) Hope you slept well.

  JH:Working a long shift today, so probably won’t see you. Any plans with your family?

  Janie sighed and tried to manage her disappointment before texting back.

  JC:No. They have dinner with an agent or something, so dodged that bullet for now.

  She pushed her phone aside, but picked it up again when it immediately dinged.

  JH:Probably for the best. Don’t like the idea of you seeing them alone.

  Janie smiled to herself, but quickly checked it.

  JC:Neither do I, but all good… for now.

  JH:Uh oh, that sounds ominous.

  Janie giggled and shook her head. She didn’t know what the hell was happening to her, but she didn’t exactly hate it.

  JC:Well, you never know.

  JH:Very true. For example…

  Janie waited while the little bubble indicated he was typing.

  JH:No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.

  Janie laughed out loud, surprising herself. She quickly looked around the office to make sure no one had noticed. She caught Alexandra’s eye a split second before she looked away, trying to pretend that she hadn’t been watching her from her office.

  Christ on a cracker…

  Janie would be facing an inquisition of her own shortly, no doubt.

  JC:You’re such a dork. Lol

  JH:Ouch…

  JC::p

  JH:XD

  Janie laughed to herself and pushed the phone to the side again and tried to focus on her work, but more than once she caught her mind drifting to Jackson and found herself grinning like a fool. If Alexandra was still watching from her office, Janie was totally screwed.

  It took longer than it should have, but eventually Janie got into the groove and before she knew it, it was lunch time. Alexandra had nothing in the book for today, so Janie could see a greasy chinese food order followed by an interrogation in her future, so she wasn’t surprised when the phone buzzed a moment later.

  “You rang?” she said into the receiver.

  “Chinese?” Alexandra asked from the other end.

  “Sure. I’ll order,” Janie replied.

  “No need. It’s on its way,” Alexandra replied. Janie turned and looked at Alexandra’s office to see her boss and friend smiling at her through the glass.

  Here it comes…

  ✽✽✽

  “What’s your problem today?” Parker asked him, elbowing him in the side as they walked through the large double doors of the office building where they’d be doing security work for the rest of the day.

  “What? I don’t have a problem,” Jackson replied, sticking his phone back into his pocket.

  “Really? You’ve been checking your phone every ten minutes, man,” Parker said, handing his ID to the woman at the reception desk. Jackson handed over his as well and a few minutes later they were in the elevator headed to the top floor.

  “What, I’m not allowed to check my phone?” Jackson asked. “Hell, yours is practically glued to your face on game days.”

  “You trying to tell me you’re checking player stats for a fantasy league?” Parker eyed him skeptically. Parker had known him long enough to know he wasn’t that interested in sports. He’d watch some soccer on occasion, and he’d catch a Dallas Cowboys game every once in a while, but that was about it.

  “No, dumbass, but I do have a life outside of work,” Jackson muttered.

  “Yeah? Since when?” Parker laughed.

  “Fuck you.”

  “Oh, okay,” Parker said, nodding. “I get it. Why didn’t you just say so, dude?”

  “What are you talking about, dude?”

  “Janie,” Parker replied, as if it should be obvious. “She’s got you on the hook now.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jackson rolled his eyes.

  “Okay. Forget I said anything,” Parker said, smiling.

  Jackson fought with himself. Parker was his best friend. If there was anybody he was going to talk to about this situation with Janie, it would be him. But given how concerned Janie was about things getting weird with their newly formed ragtag social circle, he wasn’t sure he wanted to get anyone else involved.

  Parker could be pretty laid back about other people’s business. He wasn’t usually one to put his two cents in or get involved with drama of any kind. He kept to himself and rarely offered an opinion until asked. Even then it was sometimes like pulling teeth to get an answer out of him unless you’d known him for as long as Jackson had.

  “I don’t know, man,” Jackson finally said. “She’s… skittish. I’m trying really hard not to fuck it up, but I’m not sure how I’m doing.”

  “What’s the problem?” Parker asked. “She’s not into you?”

  “Oh, no. She’s into me alright, but I’m not sure it’s the same way I’m into her.”

  “You’re talking shit again,” Parker muttered. “Tell me what the problem is.”

  “Let’s just say Janie hasn’t had good luck with relationships and she’s trying to keep things… casual.”

  “You mean she wants to fuck you but she’s not sure she wants to date you,” Parker said flatly.

  Parker had a lot of talents, and most of them were not in the realm of interpersonal relationships, but he certainly had a knack for boiling things down to the simplest terms.

  “More or less,” Jackson conceded.

  “So, what are you doing about it?” Parker asked.

  “We’ve been out twice and we’ve had a good time, for the most part,” Jackson said, rubbing the back of his neck.

  “Have you slept with her?” Parker asked. Jackson would normally object to a question like that, but he knew Parker well enough to know that he wasn’t fishing for details or locker room talk, he was merely trying to assess the situation.

  “Well, that’s the thing,” Jackson sighed. “Lex gave me some advice-”

  “Advice? About sex?” Parker asked, visibly confused and shocked at the idea.

  “No, dickhead, about Janie. And I’ve been trying to follow it, but…”

  “But what?”

  “Well, let’s say I’ve been sticking to the letter but maybe not the spirit.” Jackson looked around the elevator even though it was empty except for the two of them.

  “Lex told me not to sleep with her,” he mumbled.

  "What?” Parker asked, still confused.

  “She told me not to have sex with Janie too soon,” Jackson sighed.

  “W
ell, shit,” Parker said, raising his eyebrows.

  “Yeah, and it’s been really hard.”

  “That’s what she said,” Parker snickered. Jackson elbowed him hard in the ribs.

  “What are you, twelve?” Jackson growled.

  “Come on, you walked into that one and you know it.”

  “Why the hell am I even telling you this?” Jackson huffed, scrubbing a hand over his face.

  “Alright, alright. Just tell me,” Parker said.

  Jackson hesitated, but he filled Parker in on the situation, glossing over the more intimate details. Parker listened in silence, nodding here and there or making the occasional sound of agreement.

  “Sounds like her dad is a total dick,” Parker finally said.

  “Totally dickless is more like,” Jackson grumbled. “I mean who the hell sits there all night listening to that and doesn’t say something?”

  “I don’t know, but I can see why your girl has a hard time thinking of men as anything other than completely useless.”

  Jackson thought about telling him that Janie wasn’t his girl, but he liked the sound of it too much to say anything.

  “So what do I do, man?” Jackson pleaded.

  “Shit, if you’re asking me then you’re totally screwed,” Parker chuckled and shook his head.

  “Don’t remind me,” Jackson groaned. The elevator dinged softly and the reflective doors slid slowly open and he and Parker stepped out onto the top floor. Jackson tried to shake off his confusion and focus on the task at hand, but all night long his mind kept going back to Janie.

  Between memories of last night and worries over where to go from here, he was lucky no one walked in off the street and crashed the client’s fancy party. He wandered the room only vaguely noticing all the items on display for the charity auction as his mind turned over the problem from every angle.

  By the time he and Parker dragged their asses home at three in the morning, Jackson was no closer to a solution. Maybe a good night's sleep would clear things up.