by Holt, Leah
“Here, let me help,” I said as I stepped to her side.
Her eyes shot open as she whipped her head in my direction, staring at me like I was insane. “What are you doing? We're not supposed to talk, you're going to get us in trouble.” Aubrey's eyes darted around the room, searching for Vin.
“He's not in here right now, he went out front to take care of something.” Grabbing the eyeliner, I held it between my fingers. “Don't worry, we're alright, I won't get you into trouble, I promise.”
“Alright—we are not alright if you haven't noticed.” Her voice was cold and empty as she turned to look at herself in the mirror. “Nothing will ever be alright.”
She looked so defeated, and all I wanted to do was make her feel better. I didn't want her to end up like the other girls that just vanished into thin air. I didn't want her to think that this was all that was left for her.
Because there was always the chance that one day things could change. The right person could walk in that door and free her. It wasn't out of the realm of possibilities that a man might see her and want to bring her home.
Maybe that man would be a good man, a man who would love her, shower her with gifts and affection. Maybe that same man would set us all free.
You're lying to yourself, Berlin, you know you are.
“Things will get better, you're still adjusting, that's all. It takes time, it doesn't happen over night.” Grabbing her chin, I twisted her face to mine. Holding the liner, I arched her head up and started to gently drag the charcoal across the edge of her lid. “It doesn't have to all be bad, you just have to find your place. You have to look inside yourself and find the strength you need to keep going, because if you don't, this place is going to kill you. You can't let that happen, you can't let him win.”
Sighing loudly, she looked right in my eyes. “And what if I can't? What if I'm not strong enough?”
“You have to be, you don't have a choice.” Running a black line across her other eye, I placed the pen back down on her table. “But if you get your shit together, things will get better. I promise.”
“Better. . .” Blinking her sad doe eyes, she sucked in a shallow breath, like she was trying to hold back more tears. “How the hell can you think any of this will get better?”
“Because I know it will, you just have to trust me.”
Thinning her lips, she shifted in her seat. “How can you know that?”
“I've been here long enough to know how it works.” Walking back to my table, I dropped into the seat just in time to see Vin coming in through the door.
Aubrey twisted in her chair, finishing up the rest of her makeup without an issue. Neither one of us looked at each other again and our little conversation went unnoticed by Vin.
But I could see a change in her, it was subtle, but it was there. Her back was straighter, her face was flat and not scrunched up like she was about to bust into tears.
She finally knows she's not alone.
None of us were really alone, we had each other, even if Virgo wanted to keep us apart. Sometimes I felt like I was only the only one who could see that.
“Berlin, you got a customer.” Vin stood at my side, his strong cologne swirling around my face and making me sick.
“Another one? Why can't one of the other girls go?”
“Because this is yours. Do your fucking job, Berlin.”
Vin was the only guy around who actually said more than a few words to us at a time. It was part of his job, it wasn't like he did it by choice. But he was a little different than the rest of Virgo's men. He didn't look at us like we were trash. He was an ass at times, but he gave you room to grumble and complain a little bit.
I wasn't sure if he was here because he wanted to be or if Virgo was forcing him to be. Temptation to ask him over the years was there, but I never actually questioned him about it. It didn't really matter what his answer would be. We all had a role, and running the back room of the club was his.
“Alright, I'm going, give me a second.” Standing up, I tugged my skirt down. “You know, I'm not the only one in here who can do the private room.”
“Yeah, but you're the only one in here who goes by Ash. When you're requested, you're requested, I can't send in someone else.”
“How about you don't send any of us?”
“Berlin. . .” Pausing, Vin hung his head, lowering his lids to cover half his eyes.
“I know, I know, I'm going, no need to run to Virgo.”
“Then stop flapping your mouth and go.”
Turning around, I walked to the private room. For a brief moment, I wondered if Salt would be behind the door. I could feel my heart start to bounce in my chest and my hands get sweaty with nerves.
I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been waiting for him to return. He had come in twice in the past week, the chances were in my favor I'd see him again.
Slipping inside, I did my ritual of blinking quickly, trying to adjust to the darkness. The shadow against the wall moved as the man stood up and started to walk towards me.
Is it him?
“Are we feeling better today?” His voice skipped through my chest, twisting my heart.
“You're back again,” I said, doing my best to keep my voice steady. The tension I felt melted away as soon as I knew it was Salt.
The room felt lighter, the air cleaner and fresh as if his presence made the difference. He was like the shining star in a black world. For the first time in my life, I was happy to be in that room.
“Did I get you into trouble?” Salt asked as he approached me in the dark. “Or are we on good terms today?”
When he stopped a foot away, I realized just how big he was. He was towering over me, at least six feet tall. His shoulders spanned the length of my arms if I stretched them out, his chest was puffed up and firm behind the fitted button-up shirt.
I half expected the buttons to pop off and shoot me in the face as he curled his arms around his ribs, resting his chin on the edge of his fist.
Shaking my head, I focused on his face as the shadowed room turned into actual objects. “No, I did what you told me to.”
“Good girl,” he said, his voice a whisper as he smirked. “I'm glad you listened.”
I felt my lips curl up into a soft smile, the movement so out of place and forgotten I wasn't sure it was real. All of my smiles had been fake for as long as I could remember, but not then, not with him.
Why am I happy he's pleased with me?
Shaking the smile off my face, I focused on what I was actually doing and not how happy it made me to please him. “Are you here for another dance?” I asked.
Lifting his hand to my face, he brushed his thumb across my jaw. “You're too pretty for this, you know that?”
My body went up in flames, instantly trembling from his touch. I felt my cheeks blush, my skin so hot I was certain he could see the bright fire on my face.
No Berlin! Stop this now!
Taking a step backwards, I dropped my eyes to the floor. “Don't do that.”
“Do what?”
“Don't tell me I'm pretty.”
“You don't like a compliment?” he asked, his eyes piercing the top of my head as I refused to look up.
I could feel him watching me, I could feel the intensity in his gaze as he tried to read what was going through my mind. He could never understand me, no matter how much he tried.
“I don't like it, it's not real, not in a place like this.” Braiding my fingers together, I started picking at the beds of my nails nervously. “Look, I don't know what your plan is here, but whatever it is, you should reconsider.”
“Reconsider?” Taking a firm step in, Salt pinched my chin with his thumb and forefinger, forcing me to look up at him. “Reconsider what?”
Searching his face, I wanted him to see the concern I felt for him. He was playing with fire. Virgo didn't like being messed with, he didn't like men who thought they were above him.
And this man, he thought
he was above everybody. I could see it in his clothes, in the way he held himself, in his fierce, unforgiving stare.
“I don't think you understand what you're doing. Every time you come in here like this—”
Cutting me off, his jaw crooked. “Like what? What am I coming in here like?”
“Like you own the place, like you have rights to do whatever the hell you want.”
“You're the one who said no one will tell me no. Did the rules change suddenly overnight?”
Veering my stare, I spoke clear and firm. “Games in this place will get you killed. Do you understand that? Can't you see what I'm trying to telling you?”
“I'm not afraid—” His voice turned dark, his tone deep and stern. “I create the games, my flower, no one else.”
Sucking in a quick gasp, my brain went wild. He had called me his flower, no one but my mother had ever called me that. I hadn't heard that word in years. When he said it, it hit me, making my heart stop in my chest and my mother's voice skip through my head.
My flower. . . I'm not a flower anymore.
There was no color left in me. I was wilted, dying slowly without sun and air.
Pulling my face out of his grasp, I walked past him, putting some distance between us. “You have no idea who you're screwing with, you have no fucking clue.”
“I know what this is, I know all about this place, don't think I don't.” Salt's lips twisted into a wicked smile. “I think you under estimate who I am. I can do things for you.”
He can do things for me? What the hell was that supposed to mean?
“What do you want from me?” I asked, holding out my arms. “If you know all about this place, then why the hell do you keep coming back? Why do you pay me for doing nothing and taunt me like a child holding a magnifying glass on an ant. You're not like the other guys that come here—”
Cutting me off, his voice went sour. “You're right, I'm not like the other guys.” Salt started walking forward and instinctively I backed up. “I'm nothing like the fucking creeps that come in here.”
Each step brought him closer, his power an electric charge I could feel in the air. It was like standing outside during a thunderstorm, when the air was filled with so much static it prickled the tiny hairs on your arms.
I could feel every nerve, every small pore and thin hair as my skin buzzed and tingled from head to toe.
Stepping backwards, I wanted to keep the space between us, but he just kept coming. The cement wall crept up on me, pressing into my back, leaving me no place else to go.
Caging me in with his hands by my head, he pressed flat palms into the concrete blocks, sealing me in place. He was so close, his chest inches from mine, his face hovering at a distance that pulled on my body.
The hair on the back of my neck bristled as he let out a slow hot breath. Licking his lips, his eyes settled on my face.
“Let me tell you what type of man I am.” His toes touched mine as he stared down at me, his arms thickening as his muscles surged with testosterone. “I'm every other man's worst nightmare. I'm the darkness that seeps into your dreams and steals your breath, I'm the man your father warned you about and the one your mother told you to stay away from. I'm the last face you see if you fuck me over and first face you see when you open your eyes after you die. I'm not like any other man, because there is no one else on earth like me.”
Swallowing the lump that had formed in the back of my throat, I spoke softly. “What do you want?” My voice was weak and brittle, despite my effort to stay strong.
“I want you to hear me, I want you to know that I can give you things. I want you to understand that I am the power, the muscle, and the voice, that will be heard.”
Scrunching my brows, confusion smeared my expression. “I don't understand.”
Looming over me, his cologne stole my senses. His scent was powerful, an erotic mix of mint and sage. My brain suckled the euphoric flavors, devouring every last drop until I couldn't think straight.
The strength in his voice tugged on my body, causing me to sway on my heels. I was trapped, but he wasn't holding me, I couldn't move, but he wasn't touching me. Every breath brought him closer, causing my back to arch forward. And every exhale took him away, leaving me hollow and cold.
It felt like we were in this dance, one that was controlled by just his presence, his tenacity, his vigor.
“You will.” Holding out his hand for me to take, I stayed still.
I wasn't sure what to think. I didn't know if I should fear him or trust him. Every bone in my body felt like jelly as my brain swirled trying to figure him out.
My muscles moved before my mind told them to, placing my hand into his. Curling his fingers around mine, he pulled me away from the wall, lowering his mouth to my ear.
“Now dance,” he said, his breath flowing over the shell of my ear, making goosebumps jump across my skin. Leading me along, he guided me towards the stage and jerked his head. “Dance for me, my flower.”
And just like that, as if ownership had transferred with just a few words.
My body did as it was told.
His voice the puppeteer to my strings.
I became his.
Chapter Seven
Berlin
I knew what to do. The idea had taken hold of me and I couldn't get it out of my head.
Salt had said there were things he could do for me. There was no way for me tell if that was a good or a bad thing. I suppose there could have been malice laced in his words, that his offer was built purely on self gratification and not the way I wanted it to sound.
Maybe I was being gullible, because I desperately wanted to believe that what he said was meant for good, that it was meant to help. That he was what I had been waiting for.
But how do you trust someone you don't know?
Fixing myself a sandwich, I sat down on the couch and started eating. Taking small bites, I forced the stale bread and processed cheese sandwich down with a glass of water.
I'm so fucking sick of sandwiches.
Peeling off the hard crust, it pinged on the plate as I dropped it on top. Setting the plate on the cushion beside me, I laid back, resting my head against my arms.
Aubrey had been crying on and off since we were brought back to our rooms. Which was a little better than the previous days.
Sitting up straight, I stared at the wall where the sounds were coming from. I wasn't sure why, but the need to comfort this poor girl was weighing heavily on me.
Because all you ever wanted was a real friend, that's why.
Climbing to my feet, I carefully stepped to the wall, as if the sound of my walking would spook her. Placing my ear to the thin sheet rock, I tapped the wall quietly with my nail and listened.
Aubrey hiccuped a subtle gasp, obviously startled by the sound. I could hear her shifting around in her room and feel her body against the wall as she pressed herself into the material.
She didn't speak, I wasn't even sure if she was breathing, but I knew her head was pushed as tightly against the wall as mine was.
Tap tap, bouncing my finger, I waited.
The seconds ticked by, the only sound I could hear was the blood pumping between my ears.
Tap tap, repeating the noise, I stood as still as I could, hoping she would tap back.
She didn't.
It's better this way, you can't get her killed.
Letting out a slow breath, I wandered over to my bed and laid down. Laying my hand over my stomach, I ran my plan through my head. Salt was giving me an offer in not so many words. There were meanings hidden between the lines, words I might be manifesting to life by pure desperation; but I didn't care.
I had to grasp at something in order to keep this feeling inside me alive. A small flicker of hope had started to burn in my gut. It had been years since I felt that, since I could visualize a way out of this fucking place.
Tink tink. . .
Popping upright in bed, I sat still, unsure if my mind was
playing tricks on me. There were all kinds of noises that could be heard throughout this place.
Pipes clanked and spit as water ran through them, the floor boards creaked and twisted from the guards that casually walked the halls, making sure we were all safely secured. Rain would splash against the roof, the gentle splatter another reminder that there was still an entire world I'd never see outside those walls.
Tink tink.
There it was again. Throwing my feet over the side of the bed, the sound was coming from the wall that separated Aubrey and myself.
It's her, she's signaling back.
Darting across the room on the tips of my toes, I quickly gave three taps back. Aubrey mimicked my beat, giving me three more.
“Aubrey,” I said, pushing my voice out in a low whisper.
Tink.
“You can talk softly, I should be able to hear you.”
“What about the guards?” she asked, her voice so quiet I had to strain to hear her.
Her voice sounded like it was coming from the seam of the wall and the floor, so I slid down to my haunches, keeping one shoulder and ear against the wall.
“We have a little bit before they come back around, they do sweeps every thirty minutes or so. How are you feeling?”
It was a dumb question. I knew how she felt. She felt like shit, she felt like her life was over, she felt all the same things everyone else did about being there.
“Are you sure it's safe to do this?”
“Sure enough,” I responded with a giggle, doing my best to make light of a horrible situation. “It feels good to talk to someone else that isn't one of Virgo's goons, I can tell you that.”
“It really does.”
Relaxing my head against the wall, I sat on my ass, curling my legs underneath me. “Where are you from?”
I was trying to make small talk. It seemed like the proper thing to do when you were talking to someone you knew nothing about.
“Florence,” she said, her accent fairly light for someone born in Italy. “You?”
