by Holt, Leah
Now I had the voice and power to do all kinds of things.
You'll start a war. . .
And I'll end one too.
My brain was playing a game of tug of war, going back and forth between what was right and what was wrong. I felt strange, this foreign feeling of concern had started to work its way through my body.
It doesn't matter, it's not your place.
This wasn't my home, I had no business getting involved in such matters. What he did on his own grounds wasn't my concern. So long as it didn't trickle down onto me and my business, I shouldn't give a fuck.
But this shit, it didn't sit right, it made me uncomfortable, and it always had. When my father ran things, he was the one who decided who we worked with, what jobs we would take, and who would execute them.
Now it was all on me. I didn't have to look the other way, because I was the one who held all the power.
Laying my arm over my head, I picked up Berlin's letter and read it again, then I read it a third a time. The woman was desperate, and she had no clue she was reaching out to a man that in all forms was just as bad as her owner.
You're not like him, you don't sell women. . .
But we're both evil, we take lives, we don't give them.
Closing my eyes, my hands trembled no matter how much I tried to steady them. My mind kept wandering to how deep in this whole thing I was willing to go. I had only come to set new terms, and now I was staring down the barrel of my own gun.
I knew what Virgo had for protection, because we were the ones who supplied it. Every gun and bullet he owned came from my father. Any time he needed to make someone who screwed him over disappear, my family would step in.
It wasn't a pretty business, but it was profitable. The people I worked with went from high power government officials to low life scum. As long as they had the means to fund it, I had the power to make it happen.
But this fucking woman had seeped into my head, making it hard to concentrate, forcing me stick around a lot longer than I wanted to.
When she said I was playing games, I didn't want to admit she was right. Because once I laid eyes on her, my whole purpose for that fucking trip suddenly changed.
My body was holding me there, making me go back over and over to see her. All I could think about was touching her, caressing her, making her scream.
But that was before I knew just how unhappy she was. What Virgo did wasn't a mystery to me, but maybe I had always been too ignorant to realize that none of it was consensual.
You knew, you just chose to ignore it.
I turned my head, never looking any deeper than the surface. I saw the girls, I saw a stage, I saw women with a fake smile and flirty tongues. But I never stopped to actually see the truth. That was what my father had taught me to do, don't stick my nose where it doesn't belong.
And then I met her. I watched her dance on that stage the first night while I sat in the shadows. I knew her place, and still I let her pull me in with her endless curves and sexy, pouty lips. Her body moved in ways that made my blood surge through the veins and my cock thicken.
I want to fucking kill him.
The idea of just making it easy and killing Virgo weighed heavily on my mind. But that could come with a price.
What I did went well beyond a service for hire. I was supposed to be in the shadows, an unknown name that would come in and take care of a problem. There shouldn't be any links to the person that hired me and no trail that would lead back in my direction.
But it was impossible for me to know what notes Virgo had, who he had told about me, and how much his men knew, or what they would do if I just took out their boss.
I had to play nice, at least for now. I wouldn't risk my life for his.
That doesn't mean she's not worth the fight. . .
Berlin's desperate attempt to seek my help made my chest hurt like someone was squeezing the muscle hidden behind my ribs. Each beat was a struggle, painful and wretched like my heart was turning to stone.
Forget it, forget her. She's not worth the trouble.
Going to war was out of the question.
It wasn't worth it for just one girl.
Chapter Eleven
Berlin
I didn't sleep at all, I couldn't.
Every noise made me jump, every creek made my body tense, anticipating the door to fly open at any moment, and for one of his men to drag me away.
I couldn't stop looking over my shoulder, watching and waiting for the hammer to drop.
But nothing came.
Staring in the mirror, my eyes were puffy and swollen with dark purple rings underneath. My face was droopy, the color of my skin dull and gray from pure exhaustion. Splashing my face with cold water, I wiped it clean and walked back out into the dressing room.
Vinchenzo was standing at my table, his arms crossed over his chest. “You look like shit, Berlin.”
“Thanks, that was the look I was going for.” Glancing up at him under hooded lids, my lips folded. “Are you going to stand in my way all night or do want me to get ready?”
Taking a wide step to the side, he lifted the back of his hand up and touched my forehead. Swatting him away, I glared at him with jagged angry brows.
“Just checking to see if you have a fever,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
“I'm not sick, I'm tired.”
“What's wrong?” he asked with a slight smirk on his face, as if this was some type of joke. “Not sleeping well? Do you want to take a sick day?”
Crooking my jaw, I tilted my head. “Are you fucking serious? Sleeping well. . .” Letting out a condescending laugh, I rolled my eyes. “You're right, knowing this is my life should make me sleep like a baby.”
Vin pressed the back of his knuckles into my table as he loomed over me. “Don't be a smart ass, Berlin.” His voice was cold, the playful tone erased. His words were rough and annoyed as he thinned his lips. “You know what will happen. And I know neither one of us wants that.”
“Like I care anymore.” Laying my face flat on the table, I pinched my eyes closed. “Go on, go tell him, let him do whatever the hell he wants to with me. I really don't give a shit at this point.”
I heard the soft scrape of the chair behind Vin, causing me to sit up quickly. Leaning back, I looked around his thick torso to see Aubrey slipping into her seat. She was moving slowly, lowering down as if her entire body was broken.
Vin glanced between us, letting his eyes settle back on mine. Moving his face to my ear, he whispered. “She's lucky she's alive, you and I both know that. Don't get her in trouble again. You're on thin ice, the last thing you want is to fall through.” The phone on his hip rang, so he tugged it free, and looked at the screen. “You're on in twenty minutes, Berlin, I suggest you get ready.”
Walking off, I heard him answer the call, talking quietly as he moved through the room checking on the rest of the girls.
Waiting for him to be out of ear shot, I looked back at Aubrey. She had bruises that looked like finger prints across her biceps and large red scratches on the side of her neck. There were tears in her flesh going down her back, most of them scabbed over and deep red.
“You alright?” I asked, my voice low enough so that only she could hear me.
Shifting her eyes to look at me from the corner, there was so much pain on her face. Her eyes were apathetic and bloodshot, filled with all the terror that she went through while she was away.
I had the scars to remind me of my own defiance, and the memories to create nightmares no one would ever wish on their worst enemy.
Touching my shoulder, I ran my fingertips over the same path that Salt had stroked. My skin tingled as I remembered how gentle his touch had been when he felt the raised area.
Peering at Aubrey, I gave her a smile. “I'm glad you're back.” My voice was delicate and grateful that Virgo hadn't killed her because of my foolishness. I wasn't sure how I would handle another death at my hands.
Her eyes held nothing; no
silent smile, no hate filled curse words, she was just an empty shell. My heart broke inside, knowing that it was all my fault she had to go through that shit.
You ruined her. You broke her. You destroyed her.
My smile faded into a line as thin as paper. Mouthing the words, 'I'm sorry,' I let my gaze fall to my lap.
I never meant to cause her that pain. But I did. It was all my fault and I suffered no punishment for it.
Virgo obviously knew that I was involved. And yet no one came to deliver my punishment, not for this, and not for the note either.
Maybe Salt just threw it away. . .
Or maybe it's just a waiting game until it's my turn to feel the wrath.
Salt and Virgo knew each other. They had shaken hands, which meant that Salt had some sort of loyalty to him, where he owed me nothing. He couldn't be a good man. He couldn't be the man I hoped he was. There was no more kindness in his bones than there was in a hollow cave.
Putting on my makeup, I didn't look at Aubrey again. I let go of the idea of making a friend, I let go of the idea of having someone on my side, I let go of her.
Because there was no point in trying to create a normalcy that would never exist.
I could help her about as much as I could help myself. We were both going to die in that fucking place one way or another. Either by the hands of Virgo, or by a man he sold us to. We were never getting out of this world, at least not on our own two feet.
Finishing my dance on stage, I started towards my table. The music was loud, the bass buzzing across my skin, giving me a chill. Rubbing my hands up and down my arms, I watched my feet as I walked.
“Hello, sweet girl.” Virgo's voice radiated around me, making my head snap up. “How has your night been going?”
I did my best to not look him directly in the eyes, simply dancing around his pupils in the sockets. “Same as usual,” I said, keeping my tone steady.
His smile made my stomach turn as he pulled out my seat and waved for me to sit down. Doing as he requested, I sat in the chair, allowing him to push me in.
I felt his hands as they squeezed my shoulders, massaging the muscles. Digging his fingertips deep into my skin, he worked his hands down my back. “You're so tense, Berlin, you need to relax.”
Forcing a slight smile, I watched him in the mirror, not reacting to the vile feelings flooding my veins.
I hated his hands on my body, I hated the scent of his cologne and the roughness of his skin against mine. I hated having to look at his face and listen to his voice. I hated everything about him.
“We need to talk,” he said as his fingers stretched down over my collarbone, gently gripping the base of my neck.
I could feel the threat in his touch. He moved with the weight of a feather, fluttering the pads of his fingers across my skin, manipulating his face into an evil grin as his fingers moved closer to the center of my throat.
Holding my breath, I nodded for him to continue, unsure if this would be the moment I had waited for.
Was he going to tell me he knew about the note I wrote asking for help?
Was he going to whisper my death sentence into my ear, excited to see the expression on my face?
I sat silent, his touch hot as fire on my skin, singeing me like the burning end of a cigarette. I couldn't take a breath. There was a shimmer in his eyes, it was small, but enough for me to know there was something on his mind and it wasn't good.
“Berlin, you and I have a history. You know me better than anyone else, and that thought is unsettling.” His mouth crinkled tight as he pursed his lips. “No one should know me better than me, especially not some cunt.”
Flaring my nostrils, I still stayed silent.
His smile returned. Baring his teeth, Virgo ran his tongue across the sharp edges as his lips reached up towards his eyes.
“Did I just offend you?” Dropping his head down, he rested his chin on my shoulder, pressing his cheek to mine. “Do you not like it that I called you a cunt?” He watched me carefully in the mirror, walking his fingers down my ribs and tracing the outside of my breast. “You never scream anymore, you never cry anymore, but I say one word and you look like you want to fucking kill me. I would think that a silly little name like that would be the least of your worries, Berlin.”
Jerking my body, I swallowed the onslaught of words I wanted to throw in his face, trading them for a much lighter question. “What do you want to talk about?”
“The man who was here the other day, do you know who he is?”
Fuck, here it comes.
“No,” I said sternly.
“He was the same man who paid you before for doing nothing, wasn't he?”
Don't lie, there's no point. He might be testing you.
“He was.”
I heard him suck in a sharp gulp of air. “But he never told you his name?”
“No.” I lied.
He obviously knows! Why are you lying?
Dragging a single finger up my arm, Virgo traced my shoulder, following the lean muscle in my neck. “You know, you're not a good liar, you never were. I know you just as well as you know me, Berlin. That's what happens when two people spend so much time together.” His finger kept moving, drawing up bile from my stomach as he reached my chin. Pinching the sides of my cheeks with his fingers hard, he twisted my face to his. “You're lying to me. I can see it all over that cunt face of yours.”
My lids dropped down as my eyes turned to pinpricks. “If you know me so well, then you'd know I'm telling you the truth.”
What the hell am I doing? Am I just begging him to kill me now?
I couldn't stop the lies. But in the same breath, I wasn't willing to bow to that man and let him know he was right.
Walking his fingers across my face like a spider, my skin tickled with a sensation that I wanted to swat away. Reaching my hair, he dug in hard, jerking my head back.
I could feel the hair being torn from my scalp as he tightened his grasp. His eyes blackened, the dark abyss spread like liquid, filling in any color that was there. Gritting his teeth, he growled, tugging my head back further, harder, to the point I thought my neck might snap.
My eyes were open wide, filling with water as the tension on my head began to burn. I couldn't move, I was trapped beneath his devilish face as he glared at me with death in his eyes.
“I should fucking kill you right here,” he said through his teeth, spraying my face with small droplets of spit. “Don't fucking lie to me, I know he said something to you.”
Shaking my head in disagreement lazily, my eyes caught a glimpse of Aubrey. Her face was frozen with fear. But that fear she had, it only made me want to be stronger. I wanted to show her that you could stand up for yourself, and sometimes you had to, regardless of the punishment.
We weren't livestock, we weren't put on this earth for him to profit. I was a woman, not his fucking merchandise.
“Then kill me.” Keeping my eyes firmly on his, I barked, “I told you he didn't say shit to me, so if you choose not to believe me, then fucking kill me already.” My breathing increased, chest rising and falling heavily as I curled my fingers around the bottom of my chair and braced myself. “Come on! What are you waiting for?”
Virgo studied me, watching my eyes, watching for any sign that I was lying through my teeth. Swallowing hard, I took in slow breaths, waiting for him to do whatever the hell he was planning.
Throwing my head away, he snapped his back straight and ran his hands over his hair. “Good girl,” he said, fixing his suit and looking around. “If he comes in again, I want to know. You do nothing for him, not a fucking thing. Do you understand?”
He doesn't know. He believes me.
“Yes.”
Virgo searched for Vin, waving his hand for him to follow him. The two men went off to a solitary corner, where I watched Virgo give him orders, his hands moving around nervously as he spoke. I had never seen Virgo look so unnerved before. Not once had he ever told me to deny ser
vices to anyone, especially when the money was so good.
Bentley wasn't just a man, he was a power, one that made my handler anxious and uncomfortable. It made me question just how dangerous he really was. He warned me, he told me that he was the one to be feared.
But I didn't have a reason to believe it until right then.
I couldn't help but wonder what had happened between them. I watched them shake hands, I watched Virgo smile and pat him on the back as they walked off together like they were friends.
But today the friendly mask had been yanked free, tossed into the trash and forgotten as quickly as it appeared.
Who exactly is that man?
And what the hell was I thinking asking him for help?
Chapter Twelve
Berlin
Sitting in my room, the silence from Aubrey was killing me inside. I thought I'd hear her crying, I expected her to be sobbing harder than when she had been dragged in there.
I heard nothing.
Stepping to the wall, I pushed my ear against it. I knew I shouldn't, I knew I should have just gone to bed and forgotten all about the girl next door, but I couldn't. Not until I apologized for what I had done.
Softly tapping the wall, I listened carefully, not expecting anything back from her. I could hear some rustling and the squeak of her mattress. Through the bottom of my feet, I felt the floor vibrate as Aubrey crossed her room.
She didn't speak, she didn't tap, but I knew she was there listening. I could sense her, I could feel the weight of her body on the wall.
With my voice soft and low, I whispered. “I just want you to know I'm sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt.” Laying my cheek flat against the wall, I shut my eyes. “I hope you get out of here one day, and I promise, if I ever get out, I'll come back for you.”
“No,” she said, her voice stern, taking me by surprise. “You won't come back, you'll run, you'll save yourself. I don't want you getting killed because you tried to save me.”
“Shh,” I hushed to her. She was talking too loudly and I was afraid that someone would hear her.
If she got caught talking again, there was no doubt in my mind that Virgo would kill her. He tolerated very little. I was certain the only reason I was still alive was because of how long he had me.
