by Holt, Leah
But Berlin only seemed to look more worried, her body folding as if the gravity outside was too heavy for her slender frame. She looked like a house cat that had finally escaped, but once there, didn't know what to do.
Every so often I felt her looking at me, but the second I tried to catch her, her eyes were gone. Her hands were tucked securely between her thighs, her shoulders rolled forward, and there was no life left inside.
You'll thank me for this, I know you will.
The lights from the street lamps kept flashing over her skin, lighting up bruises like a beacon at sea. My eyes were drawn to the red welts and streaks of broken skin. And yet she sat there as if they didn't bother her. She didn't show a sliver of discomfort, she didn't wilt like a dying flower every time she moved.
She's used to the pain.
It was a sad thought, to know that she could be beaten and brutalized, but never show an ounce of it. If she didn't hurt on the outside, it was hard to imagine what she was feeling on the inside.
“How does it feel to be out of there?” I asked, gripping the wheel tighter and relaxing into my seat.
No answer.
What the hell did you expect?
Removing her doesn't heal what damage has already been done.
Tapping my thumb against the wheel, I peered at her from the corner of my eye. “Virgo seems to have a thing for you. How long have you been with the prick?” Silence. “He didn't want to let you go very easily, you must really be something special.”
“Fuck you.”
There she is.
“Ah, so you're not a mute outside that shell you call home.”
“It's not home, it's hell.”
“Then why don't you seem happy to be out?”
“Am I supposed to thank you for this?” Whipping her head over her shoulder, her eyes glistened with lost tears. “Fuck you!” Digging her nails into the seat, Berlin's forehead folded with thick lines as her lids shot open. “Just fucking take me back! I don't want to go anywhere with you!”
“Did I say something wrong?”
Frowning, she sealed her lips tight as she glared at me. Whatever was going through her head right then, whatever it was that she wanted to yell and scream, she didn't. But I could see it in her eyes; the hate for me, the hate for Virgo, the pure rage she felt for being passed around like a fucking joint.
My flower, you need this, no matter how much you want to hate it.
Looking straight ahead, I kept my tone hard. “Be mad at me all you want, but I'm not the one who put those bruises on you, or the one who controls your every move.”
“What the fuck do you call this then?” Grunting, Berlin curled into herself, hugging her knees. “If I asked you to pull over right now and let me out, would you?”
“No,” I said, not even having to think about my answer.
“So you do hold the control, stop pretending like you don't.”
“You want to get out?” I asked, slowing the car down and pulling over into the thin breakdown lane. “Go, get out.”
Snapping her eyes in my direction, her jaw crooked. “Right here? But we're in the middle of nowhere, in the fucking mountains.”
“But you want to get out, so go.” Leaning across her, I popped open her door. “There, get the fuck out.”
“Virgo will kill you if you set me free.”
“I'm not afraid of that man, no matter how much you might be.” Giving her a light push against her shoulder, I said, “So go, get the fuck out. You want out, I'm letting you out.”
Looking around in the blackness, Berlin's muscles loosened as she closed the door. “Just drive, I'd fucking freeze to death out there.”
“I'm glad to see your common sense is still in tact.”
Hitting the gas, I pulled back onto the road and drove towards my hotel. I didn't say anything else, there was no need to. I could see her submitting to the idea that she was going wherever the hell I was taking her. Even if she hated the thought.
She looked so small, so frail, as if she would break apart with a big gust of wind. I could see the small bones on her wrists and the thin veins spidering across the back of her palms. Her skin was the color of white hot ash, as if she hadn't seen the sun in years.
Because she hasn't. She hasn't had that luxury.
But within that cracked exterior, I could see the woman who lived inside. She was strong, bold, a fighter inside and out. She wouldn't be alive if she wasn't.
There were certain things that even the worst person couldn't take from someone they were trying to tear apart. And for her, it was everything that Virgo could never reach.
I thought maybe that was why he held onto her so tightly, because she fought like no one else ever had. She refused to give him all of herself, holding on to those pieces that he couldn't touch, or beat, or carve away.
“We're here,” I said, parking the car and turning off the engine. “Let's go.” Climbing out, I shut the door and stood at the front of the car, waiting for her to come to my side.
Berlin watched me for a second through the windshield, then folded her arms across her chest and turned her head away, looking out into the dark parking lot.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Letting out an annoyed breath, I stalked to her door and tore it open. “Get out.”
Twisting her face in the opposite direction, she hugged herself tighter. Her silence returned as if that would save her from me. It wouldn't.
“Fine,” I said, leaning in across her body to unbuckle her myself. “I'll fucking carry your ass out then.”
Her hands feverishly tried to keep the buckle clicked securely in place, as she pulled her knees into her chest, trying to push me away with her legs.
“Stop acting like a fucking child and get out of the damn car.” Grabbing her knees, I forced them down, holding them in place. Using my free hand, I drove it into the crook of her hip and the seat and tore the buckle from its holster.
I wasn't going to deal with this nonsense, bullshit, stupid fucking hissy-fit she was throwing. Some men might just give up, some might strike her until she's unconscious and can't fight for herself. I was not that man.
But that didn't mean I wasn't going to take what wanted.
She was mine for the night, no matter how much she hated the idea.
Flailing her arms, Berlin was grunting and growling as she slapped aimlessly at my body. I could feel her hitting me, a smack to the side of the head, a whack to the shoulder, a slap to my chest. But I didn't stop.
Wrapping my arms around her body, I ripped her from the car, throwing her over my shoulder and slamming the door shut with my foot.
Her beating was relentless. She punched with her small fists, kicking her legs and bucking her body. But still she stayed silent.
She didn't scream for help. She didn't call out for someone to dial the police. It was like she had been so brainwashed into thinking that no one would ever come to her rescue, that the words didn't exist in her head.
With heavy feet, I carried her around the building and went in the back entrance. Her attempts to hurt me did nothing, she could hit me all she wanted, and in the back of my head, I was hoping she would eventually just burn herself out.
Was I an asshole? Yes.
Was I a killer? Yes.
But was I a fucking monster? I guess that would depend on who you asked.
Taking a moment to look around, the hall was clear, so I carried her over to the door that led to the stairs. The elevator was an easier option, but that's what everyone used to get around. And I wasn't about to risk being seen like that. The last thing I wanted to deal with were the police at my door.
Climbing up four flights of stairs, I stuck my head out the door before heading into the empty hall. Berlin wriggled like a caterpillar, her body bending and rolling, rocking and flopping.
“Knock it off, you're not helping yourself here, you're just making it more difficult than it has to be. I'll fucking tie your ass up if I have to.
”
“Grrr,” she groaned, my little threat seeming to feed her fire instead of extinguish it.
Tightening my grip around her waist, I found my room. Digging the card out of my pocket, I bobbled her on my shoulder as I tried to get it to scan.
The small light blinked red, so I swiped again.
Red.
Red.
Red.
Swipe after swipe I was met with a red burst.
“This fucking card,” I growled, swiping it back and forth until I was almost ready to kick the fucking door open. Taking in a deep breath, I slowed my hand down, letting the card rest for a moment before pulling it away.
Green.
“Thank you,” I huffed out, throwing the door open.
I heard the door click shut behind us as I walked inside. Twisting, I locked the handle and flipped the top latch to make sure we weren't interrupted by any cleaning ladies or unwanted guests.
Walking to the bed, I dropped her on the mattress, hovering over her like a lion studying their next meal.
“Honey, we're home.” Smirking, I let my arms dangle by my sides.
Pursing her lips, she looked like she was about to burst at the seams. I could almost see the cuss words floating across her pupils as she glared up at me.
“Go on, call me an asshole, call me a fucking bastard, I know you want to.” Holding out my arms, I took a small step back. “Call me whatever the hell you want to if it will make you feel better.”
“There's nothing in this world that will make me feel better.”
“You're here, isn't that a little bit better than being there?”
“Better?” Shooting up on the bed, she let her legs hang over the side. “You buy me like this, you use me to get what you want from him, and I'm suppose to feel better?”
“No. I lost out because of this, I traded a lot of fucking money to get you here for the night.”
“Oh, excuse me,” she said, standing up and waving her hands in the air. “I'm so sorry that I lost you money, because I really give a fuck about you and your feelings and any money you're out now.” Her tone was dry, cynical, laced in a condescending heat I wasn't about to take.
“I suggest you watch how you talk to me.” Crooking my jaw, I let my eyes settle on hers. “Because I won't tolerate this bullshit.”
“What are you my fucking father now?” Rolling her eyes, she pushed her leg out as she folded her arms over her chest. “Are you going to punish me? Put me in time out? Or maybe you can just add to the bruises I already have?”
“I'm not going to hit you.”
“Are you sure? Because the look on your face says you want to.” Taking a small step in, she turned her face so her cheek was fully exposed. “How about right here? Right where everyone can see it, so they know how big and bad of a man you are.”
“I'm not going to hit you, Berlin.”
Scoffing, she veered her stare. “So you're just going to fuck me then? That's it, give me some good old fashioned dick and call it a night?” Chuckling lightly, she shook her head. “You're just like every other jackass that walks into that club. It's all about pussy and control.” Sitting back down on the bed, she parted her thighs as she ran a single finger up the middle of her chest. “Is this what you want? You want to fuck me? You want to fuck me like the whore I am?”
Running a hand through my hair, I kept my eyes on hers. “I never said you were a whore. I would never call you that.”
“Why not? It's true isn't it? I get paid to have sex, men pay to get what they want from me. You're losing money to have me here, so you must want something in return. Tell me what it is?”
“I already told you before, I don't want shit from you.”
Bouncing her eyes back and forth between mine, her lips folded into a heavy frown. “You're just like Virgo, it's all about the power with both of you.”
I felt my veins burn as the words came out of her mouth. I couldn't stop the rage that came over me. I was nothing like Virgo, we were two different species.
Lunging forward, I wrapped my hand around her throat and yanked her off the bed. Holding her tightly in my grip, I pushed her backwards until she hit the wall.
My face was inches from hers as I bared my teeth. “I'm nothing like that man. I'm nothing like the fucking men you're used to dealing with. I don't ever want to hear you say that shit again. Do you understand? Do you fucking hear me?” My chest had started to rise and fall, filling with rapid bursts of air.
Berlin was staring at me in shock, her voice nothing but audible gasps. She was struggling for air, she was trying to put words into some sort of order in her head so she could get them out, she was trying desperately to understand all of this.
Shaking her head yes, she pinched her lips closed, causing her cheeks to collapse into her mouth.
“Tell me you fucking understand. I want to hear you say it.”
“I understand.” Whimpering out the words, Berlin kept her eyes frozen on mine. “I understand.”
“I'm fucking serious, Berlin, don't ever compare me to that fucking prick or anyone else.”
“Okay, I won't.” Flicking her gaze around my face, she asked, “But if you're not like him or anyone else, then why are you doing this?”
Loosening my grip, I let my hand drop free. I could see the shape of my fingertips in her skin, the small red impressions an ominous addition to her body. Pulling out the small note she had given me from my pocket, I threw it at her face.
“Why don't you tell me.”
Chapter Fifteen
Berlin
The folded paper bounced off my forearm as I blocked my face, falling to the ground with a gentle thud. Staring at my written cry for help, my lungs were aching as my heart began to jump around my chest like a caged bird.
A cold sweat beaded up across the back of my neck, trickling down between my shoulder blades like searing hot fire. It was so cold it actually hurt.
“Did you read it?” I asked, knowing that he obviously had. But my brain was trying to catch up with everything that was happening.
Is this some kind of fucking trick?
Virgo had never let me leave with anyone before, he would have killed any motherfucker who even dared to ask. But, he gifted me to this man tonight. . .
Why?
Salt nodded, taking a long step back and pacing in a small circle. “Yeah, I fucking read it.”
“And?”
“What the fuck were you thinking?” Scratching at the stubble on his chin, he rested a hand on his hip as he stopped moving and glared at me. “What the fuck, why did you have to ask me? Of all the men that have come in and out of there, why me?”
He breathed the words, as if he meant to keep them for himself, but wanted me to hear them anyway. There was tension in his voice, his tone almost begging me to take the note and pretend like I never wrote it.
My eyes searched his desperately, trying to see if there were any hidden agendas or messages. I couldn't read him for shit. I didn't know if he was pissed, upset, anxious. His face was flat except for this look in his eyes that made my skin bristle.
There has to be more to this. Something isn't right.
Glancing at the door, I nervously waited in anticipation for it to fly open, and one of Virgo's men to come crashing through.
“Don't worry,” he said, noticing my anxiety rising and where my eyes had gone. “No one is coming for you.”
“Why should I believe you?” Cautiously, I stepped so I was facing the door straight on, bending down to pick up the note and clutching it in my palm. “How do I know this isn't some type of sick game? Virgo likes games, you must know that.”
“It's not a game, Berlin. He doesn't even know you gave me that note. I didn't tell him.”
Crinkling my brows, I refused to let down my guard. Just because he said it, didn't mean it was true. “But he let you take me here. Why would he do that if he wasn't fucking with me?”
“Because he needs me, because without m
e he'd have to rely on those sorry excuses he calls security.” Pressing in closer, Salt reached his hand out and softly touched my arm. “Without me, all of the power he has would vanish.”
“I don't understand, what the hell does that mean?”
“Let me ask you a question. Why do people fear him?” he asked, softly rubbing my skin with his thumb.
“Because he'll kill you if you cross him, it's not a fucking secret.”
“And who do you think does his dirty work?”
Tilting my head, I was trying to put the pieces of his puzzle together. Virgo was in charge, he had money, he had people who worked for him on all different levels. But I couldn't figure out how Salt fit into that equation.
I had met or heard the names of most of Virgo's muscle at one point or another, but not once had he ever mentioned a man named Salt or Bentley.
Then it hit me like a fucking kick to the stomach. Instantly, my gut was in knots as the bile rose to the back of my throat, threatening to cover him and the expensive Persian carpet we were standing on.
“You. . . You do that for him?”
“You didn't think he'd send one of his dumb-ass guys or risk getting picked by doing it himself, did you?” His lips twisted into a playful smile as he chuckled. “How do you think he got away with everything he's ever done? He doesn't get close to the problem, he just hires me to remove it.”
What the fuck is happening here?
Staring at him confused, it took a moment for me to fully understand what he was telling me. Slow and painfully the information trickled over my brain, burrowing into the muscle like a parasite.
“Holy shit,” I said, pulling my arm away from his as I stumbled backwards, allowing the edge of the bed to catch me. “You're a fucking killer—you're a murderer. I'm in the hands of a damn monster.” Hanging my head, I pressed my palms into my eyes.
There are worse men than Virgo—and I was standing face to face with one.
“The people I deal with are not good, Berlin. Trust me, if anyone deserves to have shit cut short, it's the fucking guys Virgo does business with. If that makes me a monster, so be it.”
